//------------------------------//
// Episode 20: "A Life Without Wings" 
// Story: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Season 10 
// by twilightsparkle3562 
//------------------------------//

…
"Enough! Or the dragon's wings get plucked!" Chrysalis gloated as she, Tirek and Cozy Glow held Spike in front of Twilight Sparkle and her friends in the battle of Grogar's bell. The young dragon winced loudly in pain as Chrysalis continued to tug at his wings in a painful manner.

"Don't hurt him!" Twilight desperately pleaded as a look of horror flashed in her eyes! Since coming to view Spike as her little brother she had become more determined than ever to ensure that no harm ever came to him.

"Don't worry about me!" Spike cried as he suddenly began to feel something dripping down his back. "Just get the bell!"

"Let him go!" Twilight cried out while screaming in pain and horror! "You're hurting him! He's bleeding!"

"Do you surrender?!" Cozy Glow snickered as Twilight and her friends stood down, thinking that Spike would be freed.
However, that wasn't the case.

"Too late!" Tirek cackled as Spike heard a loud ripping sound, painful and agonizing, all the while The Legion of Doom laughed evilly and loudly. "She who hesitates is lost!"

…
…

Suddenly, Spike found himself in his bed at Twilight's new royal quarters in Canterlot, gasping loudly and quickly! The young dragon had a look of sheer terror on his face as he turned to see if he still had his wings on his back. 

"I…I still have them," He whispered, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "They didn't take my wings off."

Just then, the door opened and Twilight stood in the doorway, having heard her assistant, advisor and little brother screaming. "Spike, you had that nightmare again, didn't you?" She groggily but tenderly asked as she pulled him into an embrace. "I'm so sorry."

"It's scary, Twilight," Spike whimpered. "How long is this going to go on for me? This is ridiculous! The battle was months ago, I shouldn't be having this problem!"

"All that matters is that it was only a dream," Twilight declared while looking down at Spike. "In fact, I'm wondering something, Spike. Do you think you might be suffering what I'm suffering because of the attack?"

Spike was amazed to hear that Twilight would bring up her own mental scars, even though they were family.

"No, I don't think so," The little dragon protested while trying to not think of it. "Why would I have what you have, Twilight? I'm a dragon. Dragons don't get PTSD!"

But Twilight silently disagreed with the young dragon, and her body language indicated it.

"Honestly, we don't!" Spike further protested. "It would have to take much more than that for me to…" But before he could finish his sentence, Spike yawned and laid back down on the pillow.

Still, Twilight wasn't convinced that Spike. She sensed something was wrong with him and the nightmares he'd been having would not stop until he confronted them head on.

…
…

The next morning, Twilight and her entourage made their way over to the dragon lands for another one of her weekly summits with the leaders of different creatures. However, Twilight could only focus on the well being of her number one assistant and little brother.

"Her highness, Supreme Princess Twilight Sparkle!" A guard pony called as Twilight disembarked from the chariot and looked up towards Dragon Lord Ember, waiting for them on top of a ledge. Flying down, the young dragon lord approached Twilight and Spike, embracing them.

"Welcome, Princess Starlight," Ember declared, much to Twilight's embarrassment. "Oh, uh, don't you have a school to run? I'm expecting Princess Twilight…"

"I'm Princess Twilight," Twilight sheepishly interrupted. "Seriously, Ember, when are you going to start remembering names?"

"It's a…. bad habit of mine. You know how it is," Ember chuckled. "So anyways, the dragons that the other pony and Spike helped hatch have been developing very nicely."

Coming up to the ledge, Ember showed Twilight and Spike the young dragons already growing and developing. "I've been getting some of the older dragons to sort of train them on how to be dragons," Ember remarked. "Some were happy to be mentors and some…" 

She then gave her attention to a dragon who was clearly not happy with being assigned the task of babysitting one of the young dragons.

"HEY!" Ember yelled. "CUT THE ATTITUDE AND MENTOR THAT DRAGON!"

"Whatever you say, Dragon Lord, Ember." The dragon muttered as he flew with the young dragon on his back.
Suddenly, Ember noticed Spike looking down at the ground and nearly falling asleep. 

"Hey, uh, Spike," She said while walking over to him. "You…don't look so good."

"He's been having nightmares, Ember," Twilight explained. "It's the same one over and over again."

"What kind of nightmares?" Ember questioned.

"The kind where his wings get ripped off." Twilight whispered while trying to keep Spike from overhearing.
Ember's eyes widened in fear upon hearing this! "Okay…" She nervously replied while lifting herself into the air. "That is something I really didn't need to hear, Princess Starlight."

"You asked," Twilight replied, trying not to sound offended. "And my name is Princess Twilight, not Princess Starlight."

"Yeah, but you're both purple and…oh, whatever!" Ember groaned and blew smoke from her nostrils. "The fact is, you really should get some sleep, Spike. You haven't been here long and already you have me concerned."

Spike merely gave his dragon equal a stare while keeping his head to the ground. "And you don't know what it's like to not have wings," Spike muttered. "Let alone having them pulled off of you."

This made Ember wince again in fear of her own wings being ripped off one day.

"I mean, would you like me to be called names again by Garble and his goons over there?" Spike muttered as the teenaged, red scaled dragon flew over.

"Ex-Goon, Spike," Garble corrected. "I'm the resident poet around here now. But, if you don't mind my asking…"

"Nightmares," Spike sleepily muttered, not even bothering to pay attention to Garble. "That's why you're hearing what you're hearing. I mean, you wouldn't just be able to write a poem on how your wings got torn off, would you?"

Already feeling uncomfortable, Garble nervously backed away much to Ember and Twilight's somewhat embarrassment.

"All right," Twilight nervously laughed while trying to put the events that had just unfolded behind her. "Er, why don't we do our check in before things get more…" She coughed into a hoof. "Uncomfortable?"

…
…

Once the meeting was over, Twilight and her entourage were making their way back to Canterlot. As they returned from the Dragon Lands, Twilight had every reason to believe that Spike needed help and not just any help.

"Look Spike," Twilight commented as they arrived back in Canterlot. "I'm really worried about you. In fact, I think it's time we pay Gentle Gust and Gentle Breeze a visit. Sooner rather than later."

"What can they do, Twilight?" Spike asked. "Can they get these nightmares out of me? You saw what happened today in the Dragon Lands."

"Yes, but that's beside the point, Spike," Twilight countered as they walked back into her royal suite. "I'm also thinking we should have maybe Luna look into your mind. If there is anypony who can analyze dreams well, it's her. However, this really is something that Gentle Gust and Gentle Breeze should treat you for, just as they did for me."

"Can't Luna treat me?" Spike protested. "I mean, she can destroy nightmares, right? She's done for the CMC."

"Not if they're on the level of PTSD, Spike," Twilight protested right back. "PTSD means the nightmares will just keep coming back."

Spike, however, cowered in fear of being brought to the hospital. He remembered all too well what Twilight had gone through. He didn't want to be poked and prodded and have wires stuck into his brain. "Can we please give Luna a try first?" He pleaded with Twilight and then yawned. "I'm already feeling kind of sleepy."

"Well, we'll have to get you back to Ponyville first," Twilight insisted. "Hopefully you can stay awake until then."

…
Upon arriving back at the Castle of Friendship, Spike was put to bed and Luna used her powers to analyze what was going on in the little dragon's mind as he slept.

"Enough! Or the dragon's wings get plucked!" Chrysalis demanded in a cold tone as Luna froze the dream. The princess of the night couldn't help but feel slightly repulsed by what she was seeing before her. She hadn't been around to see the event when it had first unfolded.

"Well no wonder Spike is suffering," Luna remarked with a concerned look on her face. "These kinds of visions are extremely disturbing to a creature's psyche."

"I've been thinking of taking him to Gentle Gust and Gentle Breeze," Twilight commented while looking at Spike's paused dream. "My thought is that he has PTSD, like I do."

"And you are correct, these are the symptoms of PTSD, Twilight," Luna replied with a nod. "Take a look at how…"

"I can see that, Luna!" Twilight interrupted. "It pains me seeing Spike like this. He's had this nightmare over and over again for too long already. Nothing would make me happier than to see him just be happy again!" Seeing the mental pain Spike was in made Twilight shed a single tear. "He's…he's got to go, Luna! He won't get any better until he does!"

But just then, a flash of white light produced a draconequus carrying a teddy bear and wearing a nightcap on his head with a worried look on his face.

"Discord, what are you doing here?" Luna asked with a stern expression on his face.

"Sorry ladies," The creature of chaos apologized as he wiggled about. "I've been trying to sleep and these movements just won't stop."

Looking down at Spike, Discord couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt for one of his best friends. "It's that bad, huh?" Discord asked, literally tearing off his mismatched wings (they reappeared on him a moment later). "Guess those statements about his wings being torn off must have gotten to him."

This cause both Luna and Twilight to give Discord their undivided attention. "He told you about this too?" Twilight asked.

"Of course, just the other night when we were doing our usual guys night," Discord explained as he produced a replica of Granny Smith's tombstone with his magic. "First one since Granny Smith died if I may add. We were going through a round where we're supposed to battle an army of orcs and the only way to beat them was to cut off their limbs and…"

"Since when did you make those rules up?!" Twilight demanded, shocked that Discord would do such a thing. "Since when does Ogres and Oubliettes involve cutting off a creature's limbs?! I think I would remember the game being that gruesome!"

"Well, I thought I would do something fun by spicing things up a little," Discord confessed. "But all of a sudden, Spike just started becoming a ball and began crying a river. Naturally, both Big Mac and I suggested we stop the game, but Spike insisted on playing on. I was going to say something, but it looks like you got to him first," A tearful look came into his eyes as he added. "I never should've freed those monsters! To think it could've ended like that, with one of my friends permanently disfigured."

Luna nodded. "You've already confessed to and dealt with many of your own issues involving your guilt over the Legion of Doom's attack," She told him. "But there are some lingering scars that may take months or years to come to the surface. 

And when they do you'd best be ready to own up to your part in them, for they wouldn't exist if not for your shortsighted ways. The mental scars Spike still carries worry me greatly, if they are not addressed soon they could have irreversible damage on the young dragon's psychological state."

At that moment, both Twilight and Luna realized that the sooner they could get Spike to Gentle Breeze and Gentle Gust, the better. It was the only chance of him moving on from them and hopefully living a normal life again.

Having heard Discord's confession about Spike breaking down in fear during their last guy's night, both Twilight and Luna went to sleep later that night, trying to process what Discord had told them.

…
…

The next morning, Spike woke up and made his way down to breakfast where both Twilight and Luna were waiting for him. "Morning," Spike greeted before sitting at the table. "Slept great last night, my first good sleep in a while," He then noticed both Twilight and Luna looking at him. "What are you looking at me for?" He wondered. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No, Spike," Twilight answered. "Luna and I think that maybe we should take you to see Gentle Gust and Gentle Breeze today, for your own sake."

"Aren't they more for you though, Twilight?" Spike wondered. "I mean, they only do ponies, not dragons."

"They specialize in treating the minds of all kinds of creatures, Spike," said Luna as Celestia came into the dining room. "Even dragons such as yourself."

"Well," Spike sighed, scratching the back of his neck as he spoke in a nervous tone of voice. "If you think I need to go then maybe," Then he gulped. "But you don't think that I'm going to be hospitalized like Twilight was, right? Even have my blood drawn, maybe? There's no way a needle could be stuck into me, right? I have thick scales."

"That's only for extreme cases like Twilight's panic attack, Spike," Luna explained. "They had to be sure there weren't any sort of nerve agents in Twilight's bloodstream responsible for the breakdown. The only thing they might do is check your blood pressure, and only if they do decide to admit you to the hospital. They may not but it's not for any of us to decide."

Spike couldn't help but feel nervous again. He remembered all too well what Twilight went through the last time they were there.

"If it makes you feel better," Discord suggested, taking the form of a stuffed Rarity doll. "You can always take a friend with you. Someone you're very close to."

Yelping out of his chair, Spike dropped the doll as it formed into Discord!

"Discord, do you mind?!" Twilight cried out as she glared at him!

"Of course, I mind, Twilight," Discord remarked, looking sharply at Twilight before turning to Spike. "Remember, you aren't the only one who was affected by my screwed up plans. I'm trying to help."

Twilight sighed. "Your methods of 'helping' leave much to be desired, Discord."

Just then, Spike opened his wings to make sure that he still had them, much to the worry of Twilight and the ex-royal sisters.

"Spike!" Celestia gasped "How many times a day have you been checking your wings?!"

"A few times a day, Celestia," Spike answered, looking back at her. "Why do you ask?"

But Celestia said nothing and looked back at Twilight and Luna. To her, this was another likely sign of PTSD.

"Well, I need to make sure I still have my wings," Spike nervously explained. "Who knows if somecreature yanks them off of me while I'm not paying attention? How would you all feel if your wings got plucked off?!" He then began to sob audibly, burying his face into the breakfast table.

Hearing enough, Twilight decided to take action and bring Spike to Canterlot Hospital. "Alright, this has gone far enough, Spike! As your big sister, I'm taking you to a place where you can finally get these problems addressed Gentle Breeze and Gentle Gust need to know about this!"

…
…

At the hospital, Twilight, Celestia and Luna, along with Discord all waited with Spike for one of the two elderly therapists to come out. Once again, Spike found himself making sure that he still had his wings.

"Spike, you still have your wings," Twilight reassured him in a hushed voice. "It's okay. Nopony is going to take them away."

Just then, the door opened and out stepped Gentle Gust, happy to see his royal patient and her confidants once again.

"Well, hello there," Gentle Gust warmly greeted. "I've been told that there's a dragon here that needs help from my partner and I, yes?"

"Who, me?" Spike blinked. "It's a little bit awkward for you to help me, considering…"

"We take care of all creatures, Spike," Gentle Gust interrupted and cleared his throat. "So, shall we find out what's causing your anxieties?"

Gulping nervously, Spike followed Gentle Gust into the office he shared with his partner while Twilight and the others waited outside.

"H-hi there, Gentle Breeze," Spike nervously greeted. "Good to…see you again."

"Well, it's always nice when we see returning patients," Gentle Breeze smiled, presenting Spike with a cup of hot cocoa. "Care for some hot cocoa? I made it fresh this morning."

"Will it affect my fire breath?" Spike nervously asked.

"I've made sure that it won't," Gentle Breeze reassured him. "And I also saved up some gemstones for you when Princess Twilight told us you were coming."

Spike gladly accepted the bowl of gemstones that had been given to him and it made him feel slightly more at ease.

"Now, from what we have here," Gentle Gust explained while reading off a note. "You've been having nightmares about getting your…wings plucked off?"

Spike nervously gulped again as he looked behind to make sure he still had his wings. "Did Twilight write all of this to you? I'll bet she did."

"Tell us, Spike. What exactly is this dream you keep having?" Gentle Gust inquired. "We can't help you until we know where the source of the problem is."

Taking a deep breath and eating another gemstone, Spike gave the two doctors his undivided attention. "It was from when we were trying to get the bell back from the Legion of Doom," He explained, recalling the event in vivid detail. "We seemed to be getting the advantage against Cozy, Tirek and Chrysalis, but in a last ditch effort…they threatened to pull off my wings to get Twilight and the others to stop."

Both Gentle Gust and Gentle Breeze winced at the revelation presented to them.

"And this nightmare you have," Gentle Gust asked, writing something down. "Did it play out differently than what eventually happened?"

Once again, Spike felt a shudder and turned around to make sure he still had his wings on him. He knew very well that this was going to be a difficult explanation. It was sensitive to talk about, but it was something he needed to do.

"Twilight pleads for them to release me," Spike explained, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "But, they don't and I...I feel a loud ripping sound…on my back, and then…" Being unable to finish his sentence, Spike started to choke up. "Sorry," He cried as Gentle Breeze levitated a handkerchief for him to use on his eyes. "I guess even dragons cry sometimes."

"It's okay, Spike," Gentle Gust reassured him. "Sometimes we all need a good cry to make us feel better. Keeping your emotions bottled up won't do you any good." 

He then nodded to Gentle Breeze, who got up and headed to the door to their office.

"It's like something that I can't get out of my head!" Spike cried more, tears flowing out of his eyes! "I mean, what did I ever do to them to deserve this?! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO THEM?!"

….
…

From inside the waiting room, Twilight and her companions were listening in on Spike's emotional breakdown.

"It pains me to hear him like this," Twilight commented, her own eyes beginning to well up with tears. "I've got to go in there! He needs me just as much as I need him!"

But no sooner did Twilight say that than the door did open and out stepped Gentle Breeze, gesturing for all four in the waiting room to come inside.

"Even me?" Discord asked as Gentle Breeze nodded .

Stepping inside, all could hear Spike's emotions being poured out of him as he spoke.

"I mean…" Spike sobbed. "Sure, Chrysalis wanted revenge on Starlight, and Tirek wanted magic, but what did I ever do to them? I didn't deserve to have my wings torn off, Gentle Gust! I didn't!"

Not wanting to stand by anymore, Twilight sat down next to her assistant along with Celestia and Luna. Feeling Twilight next to him, Spike buried his head into Twilight's chest and cried.

"Of course not," Gentle Gust said tenderly, walking over and placing a hoof on the young dragon's shoulder. "Nocreature should ever experience what you experienced, Spike. And thankfully, you didn't lose your wings."

Naturally, both Celestia and Luna were just as disturbed to hear this coming out of Spike's mouth.

"What…what can I do to get these memories out of my head?" Spike cried as he lifted his head from Twilight's chest very briefly.

"Can you treat him?" Celestia asked in a concerned tone of voice.

"There is a way," Gentle Gust nodded. "But he'll have to stay overnight tonight for us to do."

Feeling himself levitated away from Twilight, Spike was placed on Gentle Gust's desk as Gentle Breeze wrapped something around the little dragon's arm.

"We're just going to check your blood pressure, Spike," Gentle Gust told him. "You might feel a little tightness in your arm for a moment, but try to hold still." And he pressed on a squishable handle.

All watched as Spike's blood pressure was checked on a monitor. A few moments later, the monitor came down and the wrap was removed.

"Your blood pressure is high from the anxiety, Spike," Gentle Gust sighed. "That's a clear sign that you might have PTSD. But we have to be sure," Turning to his partner he asked. "Gentle Breeze, can you call and ask for a room?"

"Of course." Gentle Breeze nodded and left to do just that.

"You're going to be alright, Spike," Luna whispered as she gently stroked Spike's head. "They're going to help you get over this, I promise. You saw how they helped Twilight.

A little while later, Spike was taken to a hospital room not far from Gentle Gust and Gentle Breeze's office. In an effort to calm him down, a mask was placed on his head as anesthetic was administered, making him feel drowsy.

"So, what happens now?" Twilight asked.

"We'll do the same thing as we did with you, Twilight," Gentle Gust answered. "We'll look into Spike's mind and see the nightmare for ourselves so we can make a diagnosis."

"Can I stay with him?" Twilight pleaded. "I think he could really use somepony to be by his side."

"Yes, but not until after we do the surgery, Twilight," Gentle Breeze firmly insisted. "Once we're done with the surgery, we'll let you know and you can come back. In fact, Celestia and Luna are welcome to stay as well."

Discord was feeling left out. "What about me?" He asked. "It's my fault that Spike is suffering like this."

"Maybe it's best if you wait until Spike is released. Seeing you now might only make his condition worse." Celestia suggested, looking over at the draconequus.

Acting on those words, Discord looked down at the sedated Spike and tapping his lion paw on Spike's claw, he vanished in a flash.

…

Back at the castle, Twilight, Celestia and Luna could only wait anxiously for the surgery on Spike to be over. For several hours they waited until a message from Gentle Gust informed them that they could return to the hospital. As soon as they got the message, they returned to see Spike with monitoring stickers on his head, just like Twilight.

"Well?" Twilight nervously asked. "How is he?"

"There's no doubt in either of our minds that he has PTSD," Gentle Gust sighed, looking back at Gentle Breeze.
Twilight felt her heart sink along with the hearts of Celestia and Luna.

"We saw the nightmare," Gentle Gust went on. "And…in all of our years doing this…we've never seen anything as gruesome as what this young dragon is experiencing."

"You don't need to explain it to us, Gentle Gust," Luna firmly said while walking over to Spike. "I saw it for myself and couldn't bear to watch the whole nightmare. What Spike went through is one of the worst nightmares I have ever experienced."

"What can we do?" Twilight asked in a worried voice as she looked at her advisor, number one assistant and little brother lying in a hospital bed. "Spike has the same condition as me. Why did this have to happen to him too?!"

"It just happens I'm afraid. It's not uncommon for this condition to affect multiple members of the same group," Gentle Breeze sighed. "It's as was once said, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can happen to anypony or anycreature."

Just then, Discord appeared with his body shaking again. This time shaking with fear and worry. "Is it true?" He cried, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "Does Spike have…?"

They all nodded and Discord dropped to his mismatched knees, throwing his lion paw down hard on the ground. 

"YOU MANIACS! HAVE YOU NO HEART?!" Discord screamed in agony! "YOU SCARRED HIM! DARN YOU! DARN YOU ALL TO TARTARUS! MAY THE MAKER HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOULS! I REGRET EVER HELPING YOU!"

…
…

Meanwhile, up on the moon, Tirek was watching all that was happening from Grogar's viewing globe when he suddenly heard a tiny voice from behind him.

"Whatcha doing?" Cozy Glow asked in a singsong voice, causing Tirek to become irritated with her. "Don't you know that…"

"Do you mind, Cozy Glow?!" Tirek snapped, glaring at her. "I'm watching something important here, and I don't need you disturbing me!"

"What is it that you're watching?" Cozy asked again, trying to be nosy.

"None of your concern," Tirek protested, trying to ignore the filly. "Leave me at once."

"Okay," Cozy said with a smirk. "But don't come crying to me when Grogar finds out you were in his throne room uninvited. I'm not gonna stick up for you, I have my own safety to think about, you now."

Snarling quietly, Tirek forced Cozy Glow out of the throne room and then watched Twilight, Celestia and Luna surround Spike's bedside. With Cozy gone, Tirek could only sigh deeply at what was going on. "You know sometimes," he thought to himself. "I can't help but wonder if we went too far with threatening to pluck off the dragon's wings. Would we have done it if they'd called our bluff?"

Tirek then began to ponder if he truly belonged in Grogar's ranks. He could only wonder what could've been if he had followed his younger brother's example of befriending ponies instead of stealing magic from them. 

"The damage is done," He then said quietly as he left the throne room. "I can't repent now, unless I want to be food for the bear. Besides, it was Chrysalis who made the threat, not me. If I had it my way we wouldn't have even needed to threaten the ponies, we would've dealt with them right away. But I guess no one ever listens to me anyway."

…
…

The next day, Spike was brought back home to the Castle of Friendship as the young dragon struggled to come to terms with his diagnosis.

"Spike," Twilight greeted as she entered the throne room and approached the Friendship Map. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I really do have PTSD, do I?" Spike asked, looking up at the Golden Oak Chandelier. "How have you learned to handle it, Twilight?"

Sighing deeply, Twilight sat down on her throne next to Spike, throwing a hoof around his neck. "By embracing the deep friendship I have with my friends and family," She explained, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "We're going to get through this together, Spike. I promise you that much."

Pulling Spike into an embrace, the sovereign ruler of Equestria silently began to cry to herself along with Spike, realizing that both she and her faithful assistant were going to be fighting this battle together, this battle of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

…

From outside the throne room, Celestia and Luna both couldn't help but feel sorry for the both of them and both couldn't help but think of their missing parents as well.

"What can we do, sister?" Luna asked, looking over to Celestia.

"We do what have always done since we've retired," Celestia replied solemnly. "We continue being there for Twilight and Spike, just as they have been there for us."

…
…