//------------------------------// // Duel 02: Count Your Blessings // Story: Confessions of a Lone Vagabond // by Azure5555 //------------------------------// "Oh I don't know about that." An ethereal voice said, the sound feeling as if it was ringing directly into my brain. "What the fuck…" I whispered with worry. "Ah, vulgarity! You're going to be a fun one!" The voice said jovially. "Who the hell is talking to me?"  "Not important," The male voice replied. "You know what is? Celestia just ran off with your copy of The Winged Dragon of Ra." "She did- THAT BITCH!!!" I shouted. "Hah! Yes, that's it!" He cheered. "NOW! I SHALL BATHE YOU IN GLORIOUS FIRE!!" "I'm sorry what was that?" Of course, before the strange voice could elaborate, I started screaming bloody murder as I was engulfed in golden fire… that… didn't actually hurt. Little by little, the scrap metal that was my body began to melt and clump together, slowly rebuilding me from the ground up. Before I knew it, I was sitting comfortably and complete on my throne. [Blessing of Ra added] I heard my AI call out. "Wait, Ra?" I asked for clarification. "That's right, my boy! The Winged Dragon, at your service" The ethereal voice echoed. "To you, I grant my blessing! That is… so long as you do something for me." "Oh sure… work for a god, that won't bite me in the ass." I said as I started testing my limbs. "Play your cards right, and I do mean that literally, and you'll be glad to have me in your corner." Ra replied. Rolling my eyes and getting to my feet, I took a languid stretch and grunted. "Alright, I'll bite. The fuck do you need me to do?" "Oh it's easy, easiest thing in the world!" He said cheerily. "But first, exposition," A great golden cloud covered the throne room as images began to form. "FOR YOU SEE! THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO-" "No." "Okay, so my brothers and I gave our blessings and gifts to three mortals, two unicorns and a pegasus," Ra explained as the cloud faded. "Yada yada, war, yada yada, monsters, yada yada, you get the point. Now, MY gift was locked away at the bottom of this castle because Celestia couldn't get her horn out of her flank. YOU'RE JOB is to get it back." "Mmhm. So… traps?" I asked as I crossed my legs and rest my chin on my palm. "Probably." "Undead guardians?" "It would be a pretty bad holding cell if it didn't have guards." "Let me guess… I'm gonna have to duel somebody once I get there." "There will be a Summoner guarding the gift, yes." "Faaan fucking tastic. Lead the way, Ra."  "BY MY POWER! I REVEAL TO YOU THE PATH ONCE HIDDEN FOR A MILLENNIA!!" The Disembodied Dragon of Ra exclaimed as the stone floors began to glow gold. With a rumbling from beneath, the stone parted, revealing a staircase leading down into the depths of… wherever it went. "Now, I may or may not have used what was left of my power to open the catacombs so you'll probably want to take a flashlight." Ra had explained. "Wait what?" I asked, already halfway through the floor. "The hell do you mean?" "I have been stuck asleep on this mortal plane for a thousand years! You're lucky your outburst sent enough energy to wake me up! And don't get me started on having to fix you…" "Alright alright, I get it! I'll get you out of there… God!" I shouted in annoyance. "Yes? Oh, and you have a visitor." At that moment, the Pink Gear Knight had stumbled through the open throne room entrance, a lampshade on his head and an equally pink Ancient Gear Beast slung over his shoulder. "My lord! You're on your feet!!" He cheered once he took the lampshade off, dropping the beast onto the ground. The animalistic machine didn't even care that he was dropped… "Pinkie?" I asked as I took a seat on the stairs. "Why, yes. How did you know?" He asked as he took a seat on the ledge of the floor opening.  "Is Vinyl okay?" I asked as I started fixing a deck. "Why yes, yes she is. She seemed distressed when she noticed you weren't at the feast, but the girls and I put her worries to rest… we did however leave out the part where you were… Well…" He looked like he was trying to find the right words to not be rude as he prodded his index fingers together. "It's fine, it's not every day you get turned into scrap metal," I said as I got to my feet. "Hey, hold down the fort, I'm going for a walk." "You don't require company, sir? I could fetch Miss Pie?" "It's cool!" I shouted now knee deep in the dark. "I got this!" Well… I hoped at least. The entrance to the catacombs was, as Ra said, dark. Thankfully, I was a flashlight, my eyes pretty much glowing like high beams as I stared at the shadowed and glyph inscribed walls.  "Right… he said this place had traps…" Remembering all I knew about classic tomb raiding tropes, I hugged the walls as softly as I could, every step made with care as my hands slid along the walls. I actually sighed in relief when one of my fingers went past what I guessed was a blow dart hole. It was going to be slow, but so long as I took care not to trigger any traps, I would be just fine… ...which is when the floor gave out from under me for no discernible reason. Yelling to know one, I prepared a card and hoped to God the bottom wasn't a spike trap. -Meanwhile- "Miss Pie, the others gave strict orders that no one was to return to the castle." The Pink Gear Knight chastised, Pinkie Pie having snuck her way not only into the castle, but into a room housing a massive and intricate Organ Pipe. "Oh bah!!" Pinkie replied happily, the Pink Gear Beast rolling around within the massive music hall as the party pony played a rag time. Trying to compute the internal conflict raging within him, the Knight only sighed as he placed the lampshade back over his head. "Oh to hell with it all, let's dance!" -Vagabond- I slid along a smooth half pipe for what seemed like an eternity until I was dropped into a large square room, five closed and upright stone coffins lining the walls along with twelve closed stone doors. "Okay, ancient tombs… stone doors…" I wiped the dust off my current unbreakable form, the robes of the Spirit Reaper were apparently really good at collecting dust. Hefting the scythe over my shoulder, I began to make way for a door. "Alright, that bottomless floor took me by surprise, but so long as I watch my back from here on in, I should be just fi-"  Before I knew it, all five tomb doors had fallen to the floor, aged hands starting to claw their way out. Two Pharaonic Protectors, two Pharaoh's Servants, and a Royal Keeper. Well… shit. Reverting to my normal form, I quickly went to a door and started slamming my hands on it, the Egyptian zombies slowly getting themselves out of their coffins. Totally not freaked out and scared shitless of the situation, I pulled out a Getsu Fuhma and summoned her. "Keep those Zombies off my back!" I yelled as I equipped her with a Fighting Spirit. Surprised by the urgency and random equip spell, Getsu shrieked a little before setting her sights on the encroaching zombies. Breathing a totally not sigh of relief, I started to calmly run my hands along one of the doors, trying to find a secret switch or something… Of course, as I searched, I could hear the war cries of my zombie slayer as she hacked and slashed through her five opponents. With one final yell, and a surprising amount of blood splatter, Getsu Fuhma gently tapped me on the shoulder and dropped a servant at my feet. "Fuhma Unit, Hikaru Shidou, reporting!" The Getsu Fuhma shouted with a salute. Actually, now that I was getting a better look at her, she was… smaller and younger than the artwork led me to believe. She was also covered head to toe in zombie gunk and chunks of flesh were stuck in her incredibly short and crimson hair and she had a longsword with a regal styled crimson hilt and guard. "Uhh… good job soldier?" I replied a little weirded out.  "Hai!" Shidou exclaimed as she bounced slightly. Nodding, I went back to looking at the door. "Hm… how the hell am I supposed to open this?" I asked aloud as I knocked on the door… which soon began to glow. Looking back, I saw that the Fuhma girl had a gold key in her hand which broke after a second. As the key split in two and faded, the door behind me started to creep open. "Where did you-" "The Pharaoh's guards had them in their possession, sir!" Shidou replied as she bounced again. The act not at all connecting with her serious expression. "Any more keys?" I asked as I took a peek behind the door. "Only three, it would seem only the Pharaoh's trusted guards hold these keys." She explained calmly. Nodding, I took a few steps into the darkened room which lit up once I stepped inside. Once the flashing on my eyes settled, I lowered my arms to take in what looked like a modern day child's playroom. Blinking, I looked back to see that the crypt was still there. "What the…"  "My sentiments exactly, sir!" Shidou replied as she stepped inside. "Any ideas on what this room is?" I asked as I took a look at a few building blocks. "No, sir. You're guess is as good as mine."  "Right, well, let's go back and try another door." With a nod, the Fuhma girl led the way and chose a door at random. The same thing happened like with the other door, she pulled out a key, it glowed, it broke and the door opened slowly. Not really expecting another trap, I walked in only to nearly fall into an endless void. Thankfully, Shidou was stronger than she looked and pulled me back in.  After a while, the room gained just enough light to show an entire labyrinthian maze crawling all over the place from floor to ceiling.  "Okay, what the shit." I muttered as I got my bearings. "Should we proceed, sir?" Shidou asked as she peered down the staircase going down. "Hell no! What if we get lost!" I shouted as I went back to the crypt. "Astute observation, sir! I shall try another door!"  That said, she did just that. If the first door had me confused, the third door was really surprising. Once the shadows lifted, we were inside what looked like a desert themed bar. Standing behind the counter was a young man with short cut dirty blonde hair, a burgundy bowtie, a navy blue dress vest, navy blue dress slacks, and a white dress shirt. He was currently cleaning a wine cup before he looked at us. "Isn't this a surprise," He said with an easy smile. "What brings you beautiful people to my humble abode?" "Sir, this could be a trap!" Shidou exclaimed as she put herself in front of me and placed a hand on my chest while she drew her sword. "Wait… aren't you the Sand Gambler?" I asked as I gently moved Shidou's arm out of the way. "Got it one, how may I help you?" He asked with a smile as he put away the glass. "You know anything about the place behind us?" I ask while pointing my thumb over a shoulder. "The Pharaoh's tomb. Navigation has been rather iffy these days, may I offer you a drink?" Shidou began to hum her discomfort of the situation and pulled me out. "We are on official business! As such we mustn't delay!" "Should you require my services, I'll be here." The Sand Gambler said cheerfully. With one last key, Shidou had practically slammed it onto a door. Once open, she calmed down a bit and made her way in. With nothing to lose I followed… This was a mistake. Once we were both inside, the door slammed closed behind us, red eyes glowing in the darkness. "Sir, I sense great evil within this room…" Shidou whispered. "Any suggestions?" "If you could, summon the other members of the Fuhma Unit." Shidou replied as she readied her blade. "The other members?" Looking down at my disk, I saw that my deck was glowing blue and green. Shrugging I pulled at the lights and found two more Getsu Fuhma. As the shadows seemed to encroach, I threw the monsters down and equipped them with my last two Fighting Spirit. A great light flooded the room to show several giant fiends, zombie fiends, zombie dragons, and several small mummies… but there were also two new Getsu Fuhma. One had flowing blue hair and held a thin Spanish saber, the other had short blonde hair and wielded a zweihander. Despite their hair styles and choice of sword, their armor was still the same samurai styled Fuhma suit. "Fuhma Unit, Umi Ryuzaki!" "Fuu Hououji!" Just as they finished with their roll call, a Red-Eyes Zombie Dragon had swooped down to try and grab one of the girls, only to have their claw sliced off as Fuu backflipped onto its neck, decapitating it. As the girls decapitated and dismembered fiend after fiend after zombie, I felt a gentle tap on my shoulders. Turning around, I was met with a pair of bright ethereal horns, and a playfully wicked smile.  "Dark Ruler HaDes, at your service," The fiend overlord said whimsically as he handed me a business card. "Me, I can make all your dreams come true…" He then waved his hand and with a small burst of fire, a contract and pen had appeared in his veiny hands, "Whadda ya say?" I looked at the contract for all of two seconds before a thin blade pierced through HaDes chest, hand, and contract. "We don't negotiate with Archfiends." Ryuzaki said calmly as she cleanly removed her blade from the now trembling demon king. As the demon king fell, Ryuzaki began giving me a rather intrusive once over. "Are you hurt? How many fingers am I holding? How many fingers do you own? If a train traveling at-" "Shouldn't you be killing my enemies?" I asked while shooing her hands away from my face. Her response to this was to slice down two armored zombies without even bothering to look at them. "Your well being is my main concern, captain," Ryuzaki stated calmly, "But as you seem perfectly healthy, I shall return to the battle as per your requested." As she spun around and jumped onto a Summoned Skull, I felt a chill run down my spine as smoke began to cover HaDes' body. With a groan, the fallen demon king began to claw the ground at his side as he rose.  "If I can't claim your soul the easy way…" He muttered as he took a shaky step forward. "I'll just take it the hard way!!!" With a violent roar, he rushed forward, several skeletal creatures forming at his every step. "NOT ON MY WATCH!!" Hououji cried as she held her ludicrously large blade in front of her, the moment the Revived King touched the gear shaped hilt of the blade, a vicious wind struck him, ripping him to pieces and blowing away the many skeletal beasts he had brought with him. "Master! That was foolish!" Hououji had shouted… only to smile worriedly before giving me a hug of all things. "Please, stand back as we finish these monsters." Dumbfounded, I blinked and walked away, content with letting the girls handle the zombies. Well… I say that, but the same mist that revived HaDes had started to envelope the fiends. Before they knew it, the Fuhma girls were slowly getting swarmed and overwhelmed.  "Sir! Assistance, please!" Shidou shouted as she just barely managed to keep a group of zombified fiends off of her. "Pay her no mind!" Ryuzaki called out, dismembering an Archfiend-Zombie Skull. I said fuck it when I noticed that Hououji was practically swimming in zombies. Rushing in, I pulled out a Mirror Force and waited until someone threw hands at me. With a flash of light, every zombie was blown away, hell, even the room seemed to light up a bit more. "Sir! Thank you, sir!" Shidou exclaimed with a salute. "We had it handled, captain!" Ryuzaki shouted with a salute, but slumped a little. "But… thank you." I had the feeling Houoji wanted to say something, but was a bit preoccupied with spitting out and pulling out various chunks of zombie from her mouth and hair. "Right, Shidou!" I called out, the Fuhma girl in question saluting, "We out of keys?" "Sir! We no longer have any keys!"  Facepalming, I looked to Ryuzaki, "You know anything about this place?" "I'm afraid not," The blue Fuhma girl replied, "As we we're not originally stationed at this outpost, we have next to no information regarding it." Sighing, I slowly walked out of the now empty room and back to the entrance of the labyrinth, "Alright, let's see what we can do…" With a quick deck shuffle, I drew a card, "Cosmo Queen, huh, maybe I can fathom something from the secrets of the universe." "Sir! I don't believe that is such a wise idea, sir!" Shidou shouted. "Yeah yeah, I know what I'm doing…" With that, I took on the form of the queen of galaxies. With a heavy sigh, I closed my eyes and brought my rather thin hands together as if in prayer… ...It was as if the universe exploded within my mind… My thoughts, senses, perception… it all seemed so lost. Like I was being thrown through a Kubrik wormhole while trying to solve a gelatinous rubix cube… and yet, just as quickly as it started, it all came to an abrupt end. "SIR!" Shidou shouted at me, her nose practically pushing down on my own, "He's awake!" She cheered as she pulled away, the other two Fuhma girls having crowded around me. "What… what happened?" I asked as I found myself on the floor. "You collapsed after transforming." Houoji said calmly, no longer covered in zombie gunk. "What? How long was I out?" "A minute, surprisingly," Ryuzaki stated as she helped me to my feet, "Though I must ask that you refrain from using that form in the foreseeable future." "Yeah, yeah… I didn't even learn anything anyway…" Sighing, I shook off the stupor and looked back to the maze, "Alright, who wants to go with me?" "By your orders, sir!" "I would be honored, captain!" "I shall escort you, my master!" Groaning, I pinched the bridge of my nose before staring at the three zombie slayers. Shidou, though the smallest of the group was rather spirited, almost like she had something to prove. Ryuzaki was only slightly taller than Shidou and it looked like she was the most serious of the three. Houoji was practically an Amazon, but she had this motherly aura about her if her ever present calm smile was any indicator. My only problem here was that I couldn't take them all with me… "Ryuzaki!" I exclaimed, causing the blue haired Fuhma girl to stand at attention, "You're with me," Nodding, she slowly walked forward much to the disappointment of Shidou, though Houoji seemed fine with the decision, her smile never falling, "Shidou, Hououji, you two guard the entrance, we'll be back." With a salute, the two slayers positioned themselves on either side of the entrance as Ryuzaki and I made our descent into the labyrinth. The staircase leading down seemed to go on for eternity, I half wanted to turn around to see if my mind was playing any tricks on me… "Captain, is everything alright?" Ryuzaki asked as she gave me a stern, but worried expression. "How long have we been going down?" I asked finally letting the paranoia get the better of me. As I looked back, I saw an endless staircase ascending into pure darkness, "We have been walking for about ten minutes now, captain."  I may have felt a little worried by that, I mean the drop looked pretty quick… Turning back to look at Ryuzaki, I flinched and almost fell back as we weren't even on the stairs anymore, but smack dab in the middle of the labyrinth. She must have caught on as her expression softened, "Captain? Is something wro-" As she turned her head to see what I saw, she did flinch and fall backwards, "GYAH!?" She cried as she fell into my arms, "What happened to the stairs!?" "Yeah, I'm wondering that too…" I looked about as I slowly let her get back on her feet, taking in the sights of the brown stone walls and shadow covered corridors. Clearing her throat and trying to calm down an embarrassed blush, Ryuzaki began to carve a marker on the wall, "There, this should aid our passage." Nodding, I let her lead the way, idly watching as she would stop every five minutes or every three turns to carve another marker. Thankfully, no two were made the same. Of course this meant nothing as we ran into our first marker. "Strange, but not unexpected," Ryuzaki said calmly, "Come, we press forward." It felt like another eternity had passed by, the paranoia setting in more and more as we seemed to pass by the same markers more and more. What was worse was that it started to look like the markers started appearing next to each other. "Ryuzaki… I don't like this…" My escort seemed to agree with me as she looked just about ready to start throwing hands. Speaking of, she quickly grabbed hold of mine as she started to run, slashing the walls as we ran through as fast as we could… until we hit a dead end. Turning around, I went a little wide eyed as we were in a large and somewhat circular room with neither exit nor entrance. Biting back a curse, I drew a card from the deck. "Total Defense Shogun? Yeah this should be good…" Before I knew it, I was garbed in heavy steel plated armor wielding a massive shield, a heavy and wide broadsword on my hips and two more swords on my back. Back to back, Ryuzaki and I began to spiral within the middle of the sixteen massive slabs of stone that locked us in. It wasn't long before a black shadowy blob began to form along one of the walls, red dots shining from the inky black as green claws lashed out and clawed at nothing before grasping the edges of the shadows. "It can't be…" Ryuzaki whispered. "Oh shit… don't tell me…" As the claws pushed back against the stone, the shine of the red dots grew in intensity as the sickly green body they were connected to had halfway emerged from the blob of darkness, the Wall Shadow now locking it's sixteen red eyes at us. It pulled it's head out to screech at us, the intense sound threatening to blow out our eardrums… before it started to yawn. "Ugh…" It groaned as it started cracking it's limbs while scratching it's back, "A ghoul finally get visitors in what's probably a good thousand years, and the first thing they do is scratch you up…" The Wall Shadow muttered in a grumbly gravely tone as he yawned again, "Now how can I help you?" Actually wanting to press my luck, I cancelled the form change and walked up, much to my guide's complaints, "Got a name, or should we just call you Shadow Ghoul?" The Shadow Ghoul craned it's head and tapped it's chin, "Well, my name's in a pretty archaic language…"  He then proceeded to roar and growl something pretty incomprehensible, I got a prompt around my left eye saying that there was a translation problem, "But, everyone else calls me Greg." "Alright, Greg, I need help getting somewhere." The Wall Shadow sunk back into the blob, I watched as it slunk down into the floor as the walls began to spin, "You'll need to be specific." He said as he once more popped out of the wall. "We seek the resting place of Ra's Eye." Ryuzaki stated, Greg flinching a little at this. "Ra's Eye? The very treasure his champion sealed within the Pharaoh's sarcophagus? Oh no, I can't do that, Celestia would have my head…" Crossing my arms, I stared the Wall Shadow down. "Yeah, well Celestia stole something that belongs to me, so tell me where to go or-" I then transformed into D.D Warrior and brandished the scimitar rather menacingly, "We can both figure out how to escape the Different Dimension." If ghouls could sweat… well, Greg actually was sweating… "Alright, alright! I'll open the path, but don't come crying to me when you're burned alive!" Throwing his arms up, the stone walls began to shift and slide, locking into place as a singular path was lined out. Before we even moved, a stone slab rose to block our path. "One condition though," Greg growled out, "The lady goes back the way she came." He pointed at the Fuhma Girl, much to her ever growing distrust. "I shall do no such thing, fiend!" Ryuzaki exclaimed as she readied her saber. "Stand down, Ryuzaki," I said calmly, shocking the Fuhma Girl to attention, "Trust me enough to be able to take care of myself." She gave a small sigh before nodding her head, "I shall return, but…" She ran up to me and placed a hand on my duel disk, removing all three Getsu Fuhma, "Here, may they serve you well." With that, she had walked away, somehow without fading… but what did she mean by that? Shaking my head I glanced at the cards to find they had… changed, she was already blocked off from the labyrinth before I could ask. "Welp, best get going," Greg mumbled as he sank back down as he started repeating: "Dead man walking! Dead man walking!"