//------------------------------// // The Reality Shift Spell // Story: Banjo Shaped Scrapbook // by Banjo64 //------------------------------// Hidden deep within the depths of Canterlot Castle lies the forbidden archive. This archive is where Equestria stores the worst sources of dark and terrible magic in the world, ensuring that they do not fall into the wrong hooves. All three of them. The first was the bag of Tirek, believed to be full of dark and corruptive energy that would destroy the mind of any who touched it. What else would the dark lord store in such a terrible artifact? The few ponies who knew of its existence slept better at night knowing that Tirek had never discovered the archive during his escape and reclaimed this dark power. Though, in actuality, it was just where Tirek kept his food while he was traveling to Equestria. The reason it seemed so evil was because of the rotten meat Tirek still had in it when he was sent to Tartarus. It wasn’t just the smell, though. By now it had spoiled to the point in resembled something out of a lovecraftian nightmare, which is why it was stored down here. This way nopony would go insane from daring to look inside. The second artifact was the dreaded Necronomicon. This dark tome held the secrets to spells so dark and twisted that it was said that the book’s mere presence could suck out the souls of anypony nearby. Anyone who dared to read this book would gain the knowledge of how to cover all of the world with their new dark power, and nothing would be able to stop them. Fortunately, the rumors about the soul sucking thing were true, so anyone dumb enough to try to read it would die before they could finish opening it. The only reason it was down here was because too many stupid would-be tyrants tried to read the thing while it was a museum piece. It was convenient for getting rid of potential evil overlords, but Celestia didn’t want to be accused of sucking out the souls of Equestria’s enemies. Finally, there was the ancient scroll describing the ultimate spell. It wasn’t a dark spell, but it was undeniably one of the most dangerous forms of magic ever conceived. For this was the spell of rewriting reality. What’s more, the spell could be cast by any living being, even non-magical ones. Should anyone cast the spell they would be able to reshape Equestria, and every living thing in it, as they saw fit. And it was this very spell that a hooded mare had snuck down here to collect. “Yes… at long last…” the hooded figure chuckled as she copied the spell onto an enchanted blank sheet of paper. The scroll was protected so that it couldn’t be removed without raising an alarm, but the scroll itself wasn’t necessary to cast the reality changing spell. “Now, with this spell in my hooves, I shall rebuild the world in my glorious image! Mwahahaha! Nothing can stop me now!” cried the hooded pony. “And then she had a heart attack and died,” deducted the doctor. Princess Celestia shook her head. “I don’t know if I should be impressed by her resolve, or disappointed in my guard for letting a pony that was older than Granny Smith sneak into the forbidden archive,” she admitted. “Well, to be fair, this place isn’t all that protected,” said the doctor. “That’s because there’s nothing particularly valuable in here. Really, the only reason we even have a forbidden archive is to keep ponies from hurting themselves with these stupid things,” admitted Celestia with a shrug. “Even the reality scroll?” asked the doctor in surprise. “Especially the reality scroll. Yes, it’s the most powerful spell in existence, but the spell only lasts for twelve hours, and nopony can cast it twice. Plus it has safeguards ensuring nopony gets seriously hurt while it’s active. Even if she had cast it, we would only have to put up with her reign for a single day. We put it down here because of how annoying it was to have reality be rewritten every day while it was out and about,” explained Celestia. “That’s good, because judging from the quill and sketchpad, little miss Princess for a day here copied down the spell, and there’s no sign of where the copy is. I think the wind must of taken it or something,” said the Doctor. Celestia blinked, and then facehooved. “Well then, I have to make an announcement warning ponies of the headaches to come. I just hope nopony tires to make stupidity contagious again…” mumbled Celestia. “Contagious stupidity?” asked the doctor. “I must politely refuse to elaborate,” replied Celestia with a blush. And thus began the nightmarish annoyance of the reality shift spell. The reality spell, copied on a humble sheet of paper enchanted for protection, floated merrily through the air on the current of a strong wind. That wind just so happened to be headed toward Ponyville. “...So yeah, we’re all supposed to keep our eyes out for a spell that can rewrite reality for a day,” said Bon Bon. “Really? I don’t know about you, but if I found that spell, I’d definitely use it. I mean, a whole day with the world however you want it, why wouldn’t you want to give it a go?” suggested Lyra. “Well, first of all, I can guarantee everypony in Equestria will know it was you,” said Bon Bon with a glare. “Oh please, I’m not the only anthropologist in Equestria,” replied Lyra with a wave of her hoof. “Yes, but you’re the only one who went up to Princess Celestia and demanded she acknowledge that humans are real,” said Bon Bon. “So? You think anypony remembers the crazy pony who was brave enough to try that?” asked Lyra. Bon Bon’s expression said yes. At that moment, the spell flew down and slapped onto Lyra’s face. “Wait, don’t tell me that’s…” started Bon Bon.  After pulling it off and realizing what it was, Lyra gave Bon Bon a rather disturbing smile. Bon Bon put her hooves in her face. “There’s absolutely nothing I can say to get to you just put that down and walk away, is there?” asked Bon Bon. “Nope!” cheered Lyra before she read over the spell. “Hm… seems like all I have to do is hold the spell, and wish for what you want to change. Hey, if it’s this simple maybe tomorrow you can give it a try,” said Lyra. “No. As soon as you cast it, we’re turning it into the authorities before this gets out of hoof. Didn’t you hear about what happened last time this spell got out? Ponies kept waking up not sure what they were supposed to do, or even what they were supposed to be sometimes. And now you’re going to get the ball rolling again. Seriously Lyra, can’t you just let it go?” asked Bon Bon, though she wasn’t very hopeful. “No way, Bon Bon! This is my chance! The chance to finally prove, once and for all, that humans exist!” exclaimed Lyra. “But this won’t prove anything. You’ll just rewrite reality so that humans do exist, and then they’ll go back to not existing when the spell wears off,” Bon Bon pointed out. Lyra stared at Bon Bon for a moment, then stared down at the spell. “Buck it, I’m doing it anyway,” announced Lyra. As the spell was cast, a great while light consumed the world.  A moment later, the world shifted. Sunset Shimmer stopped and made a confused face. “Huh. Why do I suddenly get the feeling something really weird is happening somewhere far away and I might be able to take advantage of it if I knew what it was?” she asked. “Really? I get that feeling all the time!” said Pinkie Pie. Sunset shrugged. “Whatever. Probably nothing important,” she decided before continuing on her way. Celestia blinked as the light faded, before looking down at herself in surprise. “Oh dear. I was hoping the spell would be found before this happened,” she mumbled to herself as she held her new hands out in front of her. The spell had turned her, and everypony else in Equestria, into humans. At least the shift had provided all of them with clothes. “How can this be? Did somepony use the mirror portal without our knowledge?” asked a rather distraught looking Luna. “It’s not like humans are entirely unheard of, Luna. I suspect the spell fell into the hooves of a pony who’s quite obsessive over them,” deducted Celestia. “Well, better humans than cockroaches or something equally unpleasant, I suppose,” replied Luna. “Please don’t jinx it, Luna,” said Celestia with a shiver. Twilight Sparkle groaned as she looked down at the familiar sight of herself. “Well, this definitely confirms that the reality shift spell is out and about,” said Starlight Glimmer as she looked herself over. “Yes, and that it’s in Ponyville,” said Twilight. “What makes you say that? Also, how the hay do you balance like this without a tail?” asked Spike. “It’s in the legs, Spike. They’re longer than what you’re used to. And I know it’s in Ponyville because there’s only one pony in Equestria who would want to turn us all into humans,” deducted Twilight. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t complain. I could have ended up as a dog again. So, now what? We just sit around all day and wait for the spell to wear off?” asked Spike. “Well, Princess Celestia has declared a state of emergency until the spell is found so it’s not like we have anything important to do. That said, I’m heading out and finding Lyra. If she has the spell, we can stop this after only one use,” said Twilight as she turned and headed for the door. “Alright then. we’ll just stay here and relearn how to walk, I guess,” said Spike “Forget walking. How do these things work?” asked Starlight as she looked down at her hands. “So… this is a human then?” Rarity asked herself as she gazed into the mirror. “I don’t believe Twilight’s description did them justice. A bit lanky perhaps, but there’s a certain beauty to these creatures. Not to mention this form came with a rather stylish dress. And they’re a species that always wear clothes! Perhaps Lyra’s fascination isn’t completely unfounded,” she mumbled. “Rarity? Are we supposed to be wearing clothes? Because I have no idea what I’m wearing,” said Sweetie Belle. “Oh, yes, I believe so. Twilight did mention that…” Rarity trailed off in horror as she saw her sister. It was at this moment that Rarity learned of the great enemy of fashion known as casual clothes. “This sucks…” moaned Rainbow Dash. “Oh, I don’t know. A lot of my animal friends really like my new hands. There’s just so nice for petting,” said Fluttershy. “Yeah, but we don’t have wings! I have to go the rest of the day without flying! And if this stupid spell keeps getting cast, this is probably going to keep on happening! Ugh… this reality shift thing is hooves down the worst thing to happen to us,” complained Rainbow Dash. “Don’t you mean hands down?” asked Fluttershy with a giggle. Rainbow Dash just groaned. “Well, this is just great. How the hay am Ah supposed to take care of the farm like this?” asked Applejack as she looked down at her two legs. Big Mac gestured toward the large machine that had appeared with the reality shift. “Yeah, that thing might help, but neither of us have any idea how to use it. What is it anyway? Some kind of mini-train or somethin’?” asked Applejack. “Ah don’t know, but we should figure it out before Apple Bloom tries to,” said Big Mac. Applejack quickly nodded in agreement.  Nopony saw Pinkie Pie all day. She would later say that she had gotten a Pinkie Sense telling her she had a once in a life-time opportunity now available to her, and she hadn’t wanted to miss it. Though she wouldn’t tell anypony what that opportunity was. “One hamburger with lettuce and cheese? Well, I guess if you can eat it now, it’s your decision. By the way, you ponies are making every effort to find that spell, right? We don’t want to be dragged into this mess,” said the gryphon across the counter. “Yeah, yeah, we’re working on it. Just give me the meat!” cried Pinkie. Well, since only ponies can get cutie marks, I guess we’re out of a job for today. Guess I’ll head to the arcade and see if having hands will get me a higher score at Pac Pony, thought Scootaloo. If Lyra was making any noise, it was inaudible to human ears. She was locked up with her face grinning so hard it looked like it was about to snap in two. Bon Bon just looked down at herself in confusion. “So this is one of your humans, huh? I guess they look better than I suspected, though I’m not really sure about the skirt. You’ve told me enough times about human clothing so I get that part, but why a skirt? I’m a candy maker. Shouldn’t I be wearing something like an apron?” asked Bon Bon. Lyra didn’t respond. She was still overcome with sheer joy. “Well, whatever. You’ve got your humans for a day, so how about we take that spell to Princess Twilight so we can… wait, where’s the spell?” asked Bon Bon as she noticed that Lyra wasn’t holding the paper. Lyra blinked in surprise, but didn’t respond. “Lyra… please don’t tell me you let go of it and the wind took it,” begged Bon Bon. Lyra didn’t answer, but she did blush a bit. Bon Bon pinched her temple in frustration. She would later admit that hands were in fact really useful. Hoof just couldn’t help with headaches like fingers could. The reality shift spell wore off that evening, turning everypony back to normal and removing all the clothes and strange machines that had appeared. It had shown the world how the spell would work, and many ponies were now prepared to face whatever would come next. More than a few also began making plans for what they would do if they stumbled upon the spell, though most decided to just turn it in and end the madness. Cherry Berry was not one of them. “Imagine what I could do. How I far I could fly. I don’t want to become a pegasus, that wouldn’t be enough. If I find that spell, I’m going to wish for a world where I can fly further and higher than anypony ever has,” Cherry whispered to herself as she stared out her window at the sky. “It’s a reality shift spell, Cherry. If you wish for something like that, then everypony is going to be able to do it,” some part of her brain argued back. “So? It’ll still let me do it. I want to soar so bad…” she mumbled before sighing. At that moment, a sheet of paper flew in through her window and landed on her head. A moment later, she realized what it was. Yet another moment later, the world shifted. “I can’t decide if this is more annoying or less annoying than being human,” comment Spike as he slowly drifted through the air. While this shift left them in their normal bodies, it removed gravity, leaving the three of them floating at various points around the room. “I’m going to go with more. Once you get the hang of having hands being human isn’t that bad. This, however, is just dumb. Why would anypony wish for no gravity?” asked Starlight. Twilight shrugged as she kicked off from the wall. “I’m not sure. Maybe they wanted to see what space is like?” she suggested. “They why aren’t we all a bunch of space whales or something?” asked Spike. “Space whales are only a myth, Spike,” said Twilight. “And that matters at all when we’re dealing with magic that changes reality?” asked Spike with a raised eyebrow. “Fair point, I guess. And I have no idea where to look for the spell this time,” admitted Twilight as she sighed. “By the way, do either of you have any idea how the planet still has an atmosphere if gravity doesn’t exist anymore?” asked Starlight. Luna grumbled as she struggled to control the bizarre magic that now flowed through her horn. “I remember this. While the realities the spell creates don’t always make sense, they generally make some minor tweaks so that they can continue to exist for at least the whole twelve hours,” commented Celestia. “The reason behind my new responsibilities does not make them more pleasant to bear,” mumbled Luna. “Holding the world’s atmosphere together can’t be that difficult. You're magic’s been tuned to handle it, after all,” said Celestia. “No, but not having a planetary pull means that Equestria now has no moon. And quite frankly, I find the title of Princess of Gravity to be rather insulting,” said Luna. “Rarity? Do you remember what you said when you first heard about the reality shift spell?” asked Sweetie Belle. “Yes, and I now regret ever suggesting I would find inspiration during this catastrophe,” groaned Rarity as she kicked away one of her ‘dresses.’  It slowly drifted with the rest. “I understand the practicality: with no gravy this is the only way to ensure that clothing remains on the pony who wears it. But just because everything must be skin tight doesn’t mean it has to be so plain! Where's the colors? The fancy lace? Is fashion even a thing here?” questioned Rarity. “I don’t know, but I don’t think this is that bad. I mean, these pink ones look kind of nice,” suggested Sweetie Belle as she drifted past said ‘dresses.’ “I suppose, though it’s certainly not doing much for my muse,” admitted Rarity with a sigh. Applejack looked around the farm. This shift wasn’t nearly as big a setback as the last one. Every tree now had a net over it, ensuring that no apple drifted off when the tree was bucked. And she had to admit, bucking in low gravity was actually kind of fun. “Yeehaw!” she cried as she kicked off a tree, sending apples out into the net, and herself flying off through the trees. As she neared another tree, she braced herself, and gave another powerful kick as she reached it, sending her out in yet another direction. Big Mac sighed as he kicked off from his own tree. This really wasn’t a very effective way to collect apples and didn’t make a lot of sense either, but he figured it had more to do with Earth pony magic than physics anyway. At least his family was having fun. “Wahoo!” cried Granny Smith as she bucked apples for the first time in years. “This is so much fun!” cried Pinkie as she spun wildly in the air. The Cakes barely noticed. They were too busy trying to keep their kids from bouncing off the walls so literally. Fluttershy wasn’t too happy with this shift. Not because it was troubling or anything, but because it was bothering all her animals. “I’m sorry, but I can’t bring gravity back. You’ll just have to wait until the spell wears off before you store your nuts again. I’ll be glad to help you, but I’ve already promise to help a lot of my other friends once we’re all back on the ground,” said Fluttershy. The squirrel could only sigh as he watched his hard won winter food drift away from him. Scootaloo was one happy pony. “Yes! I’m doing it!” she cried with joy as she flew through the air with ease. Rainbow smiled as she watched her fly, happy that her little sister was finally in the air. It was a shame this shift would only last for twelve hours. The kid was insanely good at hairpin turns. She’d be a natural if she could get off the ground normally. The spell hadn’t worked exactly as Cherry Berry had expected, but it still did what she wanted. A long flight on her helicopter later, she was inches below the magic barrier keeping the atmosphere around the planet. Her altometer said that she was higher than the world record flying height was without the reality shift. “It’s beautiful…” she whispered, taking in the view. She felt so at peace, though she was careful not to drift away from her helicopter. She didn’t want to risk falling when the spell wore off. She wasn’t leaving the sky until it did.  The spell had drifted away, but Cherry hadn’t even noticed.