//------------------------------// // I Forgive You // Story: The Ash of Fallen Stars // by Wings of Black Glass //------------------------------// I close the door behind me as I leave her bedroom, I can hear Twilight crying. My own tears stream down my face, but I hold my breath so I don’t scream. It is as I feared, although I already knew. Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Spike, Starlight Glimmer. Fluttershy. All gone. Because of me. I nearly stumble on my way down. I can’t cast the spell. Not now. I have to do this first. I have to lay them to rest. It wasn’t fair to keep her from seeing them… but I did. None of this was fair. I walk outside and find a patch of crumbling grass somewhere where Twilight could see from her room. I can at least give her that. One last deep breath is all I allow myself before I start to dig the graves for my closest friends. “Fight back!” Despair screams, the water streaming down his face is not only from the rain. “No.” Luna shakes her head. Her limbs lock in position, she can’t be sure she won’t fall over if she tries to move. Despair howls wordlessly, lancing neon-blue power at her. It carves a crooked line up the stairway and across the wall but doesn’t strike her. Residual static charge makes her skin tingle. “You have to fight back!” Not even thirty seconds ago, she might have. “I’ll kill you!” “No, you won’t.” “I can! I will! You have to fight back!” “You might be capable, but you won’t!” Luna snaps it back at him. “Stand down.” Her forehooves nearly dig a hole in the floor, so great is the strain on her control. His only response is to advance up the steps, flinging energy blasts all around her. She holds her position, knowing he won’t harm her. “Fight back, or I’ll bring this whole tower down on us!” A lightning flash from outside illuminates his face, making his red eyes seem blue again. Luna glances at the structure of the building, quaking slightly from the thunder. Could he? Perhaps the better question, would he? “I don’t believe you. You don’t have that kind of power.” Maybe before the storm, he might have had the ability, but no longer. The battle in the rain has drained his stamina. Despair stalks up the stairs, slowly. He stops on the step below Luna, staring up at her and seething. He has to crane his neck nearly vertical to look her in the eye. “Do it!” His scars flare brighter. Luna breathes in deep, heart drumming in her still-ringing ears. “I will not harm you.” She speaks very carefully, managing her tone to keep any hate out of it. His expression doesn’t shift. He must be aware of what he’s doing. “You have to!” Despair’s shout is so loud it must be injuring his throat. “I’ve attacked a royal princess!” A wave of energy blasts off his horn with a bright flash and loud bang, but the force is undirected. Aside from tossing some of the shattered glass around, it’s harmless. “I’m Twilight’s monster!” His gaze flickers away for an instant, unable to meet Luna eye to eye. “I tried to destroy the world!” A second bang as he repeats the spell, startling but no threat. “I killed millions.” Despair stumbles, the adrenaline fueling him running out. “I should be dead. It’s nothing less than what I deserve.” His face droops towards the floor. Luna stares down at him, not knowing what she needs to say, or what he needs to hear. Just as she draws in a breath to speak, something lands heavily over by the shattered window and the crunching glass drawing her attention. It’s Celestia, her mane drenched and plastered to her body by the rain still coming down in torrents. Her wings and horn are at the ready to mete out justice if she has to. She doesn’t have the mask, probably hidden in the palace. Luna shakes her head and holds up a hoof to stop her sister from advancing. Their gazes meet, magenta to cyan. Luna can read the questions on her sister’s face. Do you need my assistance? Do you want me to interfere? She hopes Celestia can understand her in turn. This isn’t like Nightmare Moon, he can still be saved. Even if he can’t, the only thing at stake here is the fate of a single pony. Please, let me do this for him. Celestia hesitates, and then slowly nods. The spell building on her horn dissipates, and she folds her wings. Luna returns her attention to the pony on the stairs. It’s only been a moment, he’s still standing with his head hanging so low that his horn rests on the stone. “Stardust.” Luna still doesn’t know what to say or what to do. What would Celestia do? What would Twilight do? “It’s…” Despair tenses, knowing what she’ll say. Luna realizes if she finishes speaking, that if she says it’s not his fault, that he’ll reject it. It will only strengthen his hate. No, this isn’t the way. Her thoughts go back to his fight with Twilight. She had tried to tell him she was sorry, that it was all a mistake or an accident or somehow her responsibility. Tonight he had attempted to tell her that wasn’t how he saw it, she hadn’t understood then. No matter what she says, he’ll still think it’s his fault. It is time she accepts that. “Stardust.” She kneels so she can lean down and be face to face with him without looming over him. “Look at me.” Her wet mane pools on the step, where it’s lit by the lightning coursing across his face. Slowly, reluctantly, Despair lifts his head, so they’re eye to eye. “I forgive you.” Despair’s eyes flicker. In slow motion, he reels as if he’d been hit by a brick to the face. His hoof slips on the slick stair, and he collapses. He grips at his head, eyes clenched shut in pain. The lightning on his face fades, but the marks remain as burns on his charcoal-black fur. “I will not kill you.” She nearly whispers it, she doubts Celestia will have heard. “You have to.” His response is grief-stricken, and barely audible even this close. “If you don’t… I’ll… I’ll do it myself.” She isn’t sure she heard that right, the wind and the rain through the broken window make it hard to understand. “No. You won’t.” She returns to standing, shaking her head. “I think I finally understand. Why you did what you did to your parents and yourself.” He is silent. Very slowly, he stands and turns towards the door, taking each stair carefully. “When pressed to the limits of your sanity, you tried to commit a form of emotional suicide. Even at your lowest, you couldn’t bring yourself to truly end your own life.” She has to raise her voice to be heard over the storm as he nears the base of the stairs. “You couldn’t then, and you won’t now.” The pony she knew as Stardust stops at the very last step. Although he seems steady, she feels as though he perches unbalanced on the very edge of a high cliff. “You’re still that same broken foal.” She isn’t angry anymore, just sorrowful. “But you don’t have to be.” “I know.” A neon-blue aura floats his long black coat over to him. Luna can imagine him now, tumbling from that high precipice. “What will you do now? Run away again?” “I have to.” He pauses but doesn’t look back. “It’s the only thing I’m good at.” He yanks the door open with magic, the sudden gust of wind throwing hourglass sand into Luna’s eyes along with her mane. Her soul screams at her to chase him down to stop him from leaving. No matter how much she wants to, she can’t stop him. He’s known only how to run his entire life. Running from his past, from his failures, from those who knew of his blank flank. Even from those who try to help. She can’t force it on him, just like everypony else, like Twilight. He has to make the choice to stay of his own will. Accepting who he is means admitting he may choose to leave forever. “Where will you go?” Her voice nearly cracks, a few tears drip down her cheek, lost in the rain. “I don’t know. Griffonstone? The Crystal Empire? It doesn’t matter.” His voice is equally hoarse to hers. “Anywhere but here.” “When you have gone…” Luna can’t bring herself to say goodbye, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. “I will miss our conversations.” Despair stands in the doorway, the rain beating down on him. Luna turns away, unable to watch him leave. With downcast eyes, she slowly walks over to the waiting wings of her sister. The other Alicorn wraps them around her, laying her own neck over Luna’s, and letting her take a few pained breaths in silence. The door below slams shut. Luna presses her face into Celestia’s fur, trying to take solace in the warmth of the sun. It doesn’t really help, Celestia is just as drenched as she is. She can feel Celestia breathe deeply to speak. “So would I.” Luna blinks, that wasn’t Celestia. Released by the other Alicorn, she looks back. He stands at the top of the stairs, his tail and mane so drenched and heavy that he can’t even lift his head. The black coat lays abandoned on the floor. “Stardust?” She wipes the rain and the tears from her eyes, not so sure she isn’t seeing things. Thankfully, Celestia is silent. “It’s just…” He takes a slow step towards her. With each step, the color of his fur bleeds away from black to purple. “It’s the only way I know how to live anymore.” The rain coming in through the broken window seeming to wash the ash out of his mane. “I’ve been running so long.” When he finally steps up to her and looks up at her, it is with neon-blue eyes once again. “But… I don’t want to go.” Disguised by the rain, tears stream freely down Stardust’s face. “Then stay.” She can’t stop herself, throwing both her arms and her wings around him. By reflex he flinches when she embraces him, she ignores it. There is trembling in his arms as he returns the embrace. “I know it’s hard for you to ask for help. But if you want it, you’ll have it.” He tries to speak, to say something important, but each time he can’t get out more than a gasp for air. Luna knows what he’s trying to say. She had to say it once herself in a very similar situation. “I forgive you.”