Come on, Spike, it can’t be that bad.
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Well how would you know? You’ve never seen it either.
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Look, it’s my show and this is what I want to do for the next episode.
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Honestly, Spike, I think you’re being a little overdramat…Oh, the recording’s already started.
Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries!
Ooh, I’m really looking forward to today’s episode, because I’m going to try…watching the Star Wars Holiday Special!
Anypony who knows anything about me knows that I love Star Wars; I’ve seen all the movies, read all the books, both in the Legends and Disney canons, and watched all the various TV series. Yes, even Resistance.
However, despite my love of Star Wars, there’s one piece of it I’ve never experienced, and that’s the Holiday Special. This is mostly because it’s been pretty hard for me to find any copies of it. Fortunately though, my friend Pinkie’s sister, Maud, recently unearthed an entire shipping container with copies inside by accident while on one of her geological surveys, so problem solved!
Now, Spike keeps telling me that the Holiday Special is, and I quote, ‘The epitome of garbage’ but I don’t believe him, primarily because he’s never seen it so how would he know?
And come on, it’s Star Wars! Even if it’s not great it can’t be as bad as all that.
But enough chit-chat, let’s get watching!
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Ooh, opening with Han and Chewie getting shot at by the Empire. So far so good.
Seems like Chewie’s trying to get home for something called ‘Life Day’. I wonder if that’s anything like Hearths Warming.
OH, THE THEME SONG!
Da da da daaa daaa da da da daaa daaa~
Ahem, sorry, I went a little too fangirl there.
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It really is amazing how they got everyone from the movie back for this. Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, even Peter Mayhew as Chewie!
Oh, it looks like Chewie has a family, how nice.
So, his wife’s name is Malla, his son’s name Lumpy, and his father’s name is…Itchy? What’s his mother’s name, Scratchy?
Hehe, good on Twilight.
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That was too a good joke, Spike!
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Wow, quiet a lineup of guest stars; Bea Arthur, Art Carney, Diane Carroll, Harvey Korman, and Jefferson Starship. I’m impressed!
With so much great talent behind this thing, I don’t see how it could possibly be as bad as Spike says.
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Oh, we will see, Spike, because I’m going to watch the whole thing, no matter what!
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Fine, I won’t say you didn’t warn me!
Okay, looks like it’s really getting underway now. Let’s watch.
So, we’re about five minutes in and all we’ve seen so far is Chewie’s family walking around their house speaking shyriiwook. I’m not even sure what the plot is yet.
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Oh, Lumpy’s doing something, he’s…watching a holographic Cirque De Sol thing?
Um, okay.
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Well that part was a little weird. Not very Star Wars-y either.
Aaaand now we’re back to Chewie’s family walking around their house speaking shyriiwook.
You know, if they were going to put so much shryiiwook in this they could have maybe added subtitles.
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Oh look, Chewie’s family is calling Luke!
Yay! I love you, Luke!
Sorry, I got too excited again.
But come on, Mark Hamill in his prime? Hubba-hubba.
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I’ll stop talking now.
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Uh, is it just me, or does Mark Hamill seem a little…dead inside. Just look at his eyes, it’s like he’s not really there.
I mean, I can tell he’s trying his best, but geez, it almost feels like he’s only doing this because someone put a gun to his head or something.
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Well, that’s it for Luke for now. Honestly though, I’m a little relieved. His eyes were like those of a cold, lifeless doll. Whoo.
But now it looks like we get some Art Carney! He’s always fun!
I have never seen Art Carney be so boring before.
Much like Mark Hamill I can tell he’s making an effort, but why is it so bad?
Frankly, I think it’s all because of the writing. This story is so bland and uninteresting so far, and aside from that Han and Chewie moment right at the beginning it doesn’t even feel like Star Wars.
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It’ll get better, Spike, I’m sure!
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Aha, Darth Vader! See, Spike, I told you it’s get bett…THAT WAS IT?! VADER WAS ONLY ON SCREEN FOR 15 SECONDS!
Okay, calm down Twilight, he’ll probably be back later.
Just keep watching, it can only get better.
It’s not getting better!
Honestly, who thought dressing Harvey Korman up in drag and having him prepare food on a video screen while Chewie’s wife watches would be entertaining?!
You know, so far this so called ‘Star Wars Holiday Special’ has very little to do with Star Wars or the holidays. I still don’t even know what Life Day is for Celestia’s sake!
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Oh good, we’re back to Han and Chewie! Finally, some actual Star Wars action!
And just like that, the actual Star Wars action is over.
Now we get to watch Chewie’s dad watch some erotic VR thing of Diane Carroll in the middle of the living room.
Fun.
Oh look, it's Carrie Fisher.
Forgive my less than enthusiastic attitude about that, I love Princess Leia and all but I’m managing my expectations at this point. I just get the feeling this is going to be like the part with Mark Hamill.
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Yep, just like the part with Mark Hamill.
Here’s a question I bet we’ll all asking right now; Why would an Imperial officer take time out of his search for the rebels to watch a Jefferson Starship music video?
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I don’t know either, but that’s what’s happening at this very moment.
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It’s not even a very good Jefferson Starship music video either, which I didn’t even think was possible. But this thing found a way.
And now we have a random animated part that has nothing to do with the larger story, because why not?
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Hey, Boba Fett. That’s pretty cool.
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What was that Spike?! This was Boba Fett’s first appearance in Star Wars?!
Huh, neat.
MAKE!
*BUMP*
IT!
*BUMP*
STOP!!!
*BUMP*
Ow.
Sorry you had to see me bang my head on the coffee table like that, but I just can’t take much more of this! I mean, just look, we’re watching Harvey Korman on another video screen tell Lumpy how to assemble a mini transmitter!
WHO THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE ENTERTAINING?! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH STAR WARS!
*BUMP*
Ow.
Hehehe.
I’m going to finish this, yes I am. I don’t care how bad it gets. I don’t care how long I have to watch Harvey Korman sexually harass Bea Arthur in a cantina on Tatooine, I will see this through to the end.
Hehehe.
Oh my gosh, could it be?! Is it really?!
Yes, it is! Chewie’s finally home!
Now we can finally get to see what the hell Life Day is!
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It’s over.
IT’S OVER AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL LIFE DAY IS! ALL I KNOW ABOUT IT IS THAT WOOKIE’S PUT ON RED ROBES AND DO SOME KIND OF WICCAN RITUAL WHILE PRINCESS LEIA SINGS A SONG!
*DEEP BREATHING*
I am so sorry I subjected you all to that. I promise the next episode of Twilight Tries will feature something more…objectively good.
*DEEP BREATHING*
At any rate, thanks for watching, everypony.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to watch Empire Strikes Back to remind myself that Star Wars as a whole isn’t the epitome of garbage.