//------------------------------//
// A Faustian Bargain 
// Story: Real Movie Expertise 
// by Strawberry Sunrise 
//------------------------------//

“Hello? Hello?” a voice said from Gregg’s left. He was still in the chair, but his neck was rather sore from the position he’d been in since falling unconscious. He slowly opened his eyes and looked to see who was talking.
To his left was a strange cartoonish being that seemed to be made up of parts of several different animals. Its body was long, and from tail to head, it transitioned from white to red to brown to grey, with different textures of skin as it went. It stood on its hind legs, and none of its four limbs matched each other (the same went for its two horns). Parts of its body had fur, while other parts were scaled, and its head was vaguely horse-like.
Gregg’s mind immediately went to several different movies that this situation reminded him of - all five-bag Popcorn Classics, of course.
First of all, he was sure he must be dreaming. Like Dorothy in the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz (runtime 101 minutes), he was simply imagining a fantastical being that wasn’t really there. Unlike the events of that movie, he was still in his own apartment rather than in a new world, and he couldn’t think of any person he had met or anything he had seen that looked anything like this creature. But otherwise it was reasonably similar.
Second, it reminded him of the 1988 film Who Framed Roger Rabbit (runtime 104 minutes), in which cartoon characters were real and lived among normal humans. He looked around his apartment, and down at his own hands, and it was clear that the world was still live-action. It was only this being that was not.
Third, it reminded him of the 1939 film Frankenstein (runtime 71 minutes), which starred the great Boris Karloff as a monster which was made up of parts of various dead people. While this creature was made up of parts of various animals, the setup was otherwise very similar.
And finally, it reminded him of the 2002 film The Ring (runtime 115 minutes), in which an evil spirit crawled out of a screen just as this being had done.
Once his mind had gone through this expert movie buff analysis, he finally decided to speak up. “Who are you?” he said. He half-expected it to say its name was Tim. Though he wasn’t a psychologist, he could believe there might be an explanation for his subconscious presenting a fantasy version of Tim in this way. Tim’s stupidity was...cartoonish, and...well, he wasn’t sure of the rest, but still...
“The name’s Discord,” the being said. It snapped its fingers and a mug of hot chocolate appeared in its hand. It took a sip. “Oh, I’m sorry. Where are my manners? Would you like one?”
“I’m alright,” Gregg said. “Why are you here?”
Discord shrugged. “I was bored,” he said.
“That’s it?” Gregg said.
Discord just shrugged again. “You were searching for information about Star Trek II, were you not?” He snapped his fingers again and the mug disappeared. A handkerchief materialized in front of him and wiped his mouth on its own.
“Yes, but...how are you doing that?” Gregg asked.
“You mean this?” Discord snapped yet again and the handkerchief disappeared. He let his bottom half float up into the air, and then moved his body into a position where his head was directly in front of Gregg’s face and about two feet away. He floated there in a prone position, his head on his arms, his body just above the desk and partially clipping through the wall.
“Yes, that,” Gregg said. He was still sure this was just a dream, but he thought he might as well see what his mind would make up.
“Before I just tell you that information, let’s see if you can guess on your own. If you were searching for Star Trek info, then my voice must seem familiar.” Discord paused. When Gregg didn’t immediately respond, he frowned. “Right?” Discord asked, suddenly sounding less sure of himself than he had up to this point.
Gregg wracked his brain, but while the voice was familiar, he couldn’t think of any connection it might have with Star Trek. “I’m sorry. I don’t know,” he said.
Discord sighed. “Does ‘Q’ ring any bells?” Several small bells materialized around Discord’s head.
“No,” Gregg said. Then he remembered something. "Wait...you're not that crazy person Tim was listening to, are you?"
Discord shook his head. “Oh, why do I even bother?” he said. He moved back to Gregg’s side and lowered his bottom half back to the ground. He sighed again. “Star Trek: The Next Generation?”
“That’s a TV show,” Gregg said, his disdain palpable. “I only watch the movies.”
Discord frowned. “‘Q’ is an extremely powerful being in the Star Trek series. He’s portrayed by John de Lancie, and he was inspired by...yours truly!” Despite his irritation with Gregg’s “I only watch the movies” statement, Discord was still trying to be enthusiastic. “Gene Roddenberry found an actor with a very accurate voice.” Gregg didn’t react. He'd seen movies with John de Lancie in them, which explained the voice's familiarity, but he'd never seen him in Star Trek.
“I also inspired the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?” Discord said, his face drooping a bit and his voice begging for some kind of acknowledgment. “It’s all true, you know. Well, mostly. Equestria is my home.” A map labeled “Equestria” appeared in front of him. “Visiting other dimensions is just a hobby.”
Gregg was suddenly less sure that this was a dream. Why would his subconscious, of all people’s, be wasting time talking about TV shows? “I don’t watch TV,” he said simply.
“A pity,” Discord said, seemingly resigning himself to the idea that Gregg didn’t care about the TV he had inspired. The map disappeared. “May I ask why you were looking up information about Star Trek II?”
“I do a movie review show with another person, named Tim,” Gregg said. “We’re co-hosts.” If this was real, hopefully Discord wouldn’t realize he was lying. Tim had already promised multiple times in the past to make him a co-host, so he may as well be at least an honorary one, anyway. “He insists that Star Trek II took place in space, but if he ever actually watched a movie, he’d know that it took place in San Francisco.”
“San Francisco?” Discord said, absentmindedly looking around Gregg’s room, which was a mess. Then what Gregg had said registered. “No, it took place in space,” Discord said, and he and Gregg (still on his chair) were suddenly floating in outer space. That clinched it - either this wasn’t a dream, or Discord really did somehow represent Tim. Regardless, he had to correct the record, all-powerful being or not. This was getting ridiculous.
“It took place in San Francisco.” Gregg said, unable to hide his irritation.
Discord tilted his head. “Would you like it to have taken place in San Francisco?” he asked.
“What?” Gregg asked.
“I could change the timeline,” Discord said. The world around the two parties flickered through various famous historical scenes, focusing mainly on events that media often depicted people trying to change via time travel - Hitler’s rise to power, JFK’s assassination, and so on. The premiere of Star Trek II was included as well. “For a price.”
“What price?” Gregg asked. The offer reminded him of the scene in the 1986 film Little Shop of Horrors (runtime 94 minutes) in which Audrey II offered to bring Seymour fame and fortune in exchange for blood.
“I’m not quite as nice as Friendship Is Magic made me in the end,” Discord said. “I don’t do much purely out of the goodness of my heart unless it’s for a friend. And you’re not a friend, or at least not yet.” He paused. “What do you care about most?” he asked.
Gregg remained silent, but Discord tapped Gregg’s head with a claw and an image appeared in a glowing circle above it. Discord took the circle in his claws and showed it to Gregg. “What is this?” he asked. The world around them was still flickering through various historical scenes.
“You won’t do anything to it unless I agree to a deal?” Gregg asked.
“Cross my heart,” Discord said.
“It’s the Victorville Film Archive,” Gregg said. Finally something he liked talking about. “The VFA is the world’s largest collection of VHS tapes, featuring all of the greatest and most important movies ever made. I use a special coding system to-”
“I don’t need the details,” Discord said. “In exchange for the Victorville Film Archive, I will change the timeline. Star Trek II will in fact have taken place in San Francisco. Do you accept?”
“No,” Gregg said. Discord frowned.
“Are you sure?” Discord said. “I have quite a good track record. Lauren Faust took my deal years ago and her show ran for 9 seasons. It's still popular with 'bronies’ even now.” Then, quieter, as if musing to himself, "Though there were some creative differences."
“No,” Gregg said. He still wasn’t sure if this was a dream or not, but it didn’t matter.
“Well, why not?” Discord asked.
“Because it did take place in San Francisco,” Gregg said.
Discord rolled his eyes and disappeared. The world around them went black.
The next thing Gregg knew, he was in his apartment and the computer was back on. Sighing, he emailed the Wikipedia screenshots to Tim and checked the time. He’d only been out for a few minutes, so he could still watch one more movie before going to bed. Maybe he’d rewatch the 1977 classic Oh, God!, starring George Burns (runtime 98 minutes).

The End