Fluttershy’s emotions were a roiling cocktail of mixed feelings as she first set foot on the train leading out of Ponyville. She couldn’t deny a little bit of excitement at the prospect of seeing the world outside her forest, but leaving that forest made her melancholy, and the fear of what might happen to her if her true form as a dragon were discovered didn’t help.
She was feeling many things, but most of all she just felt sick.
She was fortunate that between the clothes she’d gotten from Rarity, not being surrounded by animals, and not melting the snow around her hooves, she didn’t draw attention to herself and nopony in Ponyville recognized her as the forest’s spirit.
But that still didn’t help the feeling that everypony was watching her as she marched through the town, trying to hide herself from the knife-like glares of Ponyville’s citizens that bared into her skin from every pony.
If they knew what she was, how would they react? And as Fluttershy stepped onto the train, those fears overwhelmed her and she couldn’t help thinking that everyone around her knew—they knew and they hated her, and they wanted her gone.
They wanted her dead.
“Fluttershy?” Twilight Sparkle’s soft voice and gentle touch of her hand on Fluttershy’s hand woke Fluttershy back up to reality. “Are you okay?”
“Um,” Fluttershy bit her lip. She was standing frozen in the train’s entryway, and she knew it wouldn’t be long before someone yelled at her to hurry up, but she couldn’t bring herself to move and soon she felt a cold sweat beating down her brow.
“Come on,” Twilight Sparkle said with a tender smile, easing Fluttershy deeper into the train with their fingers intertwined. “You’re gonna love the train, it’s awesome.”
“O-okay,” Fluttershy swallowed a lump of anxiety and it felt like shards of glass were scraping down her throat.
She had no idea where any of the ponies in her group were by the time Twilight sat her down on a bench beside the window, and Fluttershy had to admit, being out of everyone’s way and being able to focus on the snowy scenery outside was already helping her mind feel at ease.
“You okay?” Twilight Sparkle said softly, her fingers still wrapped around Fluttershy’s like a protective blanket.
“I-I think—I think I—”
“Let’s take some deep breaths, alright?” Twilight said, and Fluttershy nodded.
Fluttershy watched Twilight Sparkle breathe in through her nose, and Fluttershy mirrored her movements, focusing on the feeling of air flowing into her body.
Twilight Sparkle slowly let out a soft sigh, and Fluttershy did the same, a smile gracing her lips as she felt much of the pressure on her heart leaving alongside the breath.
“Thank you,” Fluttershy dipped her head down, fidgeting anxiously with her hair. “That helped.”
“My pleasure,” Twilight Sparkle smiled, and it was the first time that Fluttershy had noticed that Twilight had a very pretty smile.
A smile that disappeared in an instant when Twilight turned her head, and when Fluttershy followed Twilight’s gaze, she understood immediately why.
Rarity.
She was staring at Twilight and Fluttershy, though to be honest even despite Fluttershy’s anxieties she wasn’t so self-centered to believe that Rarity was looking at anything but Twilight.
Her eyes were so fixed to Twilight that she didn’t seem to notice Fluttershy staring back at her.
Fluttershy’s impression of Rarity had always been complicated, since the first time Rarity had entered her forest; Rarity was a woman of great compassion and dedication, but one who obviously struggled with her inner demons.
She killed animals and dragons alike and seemed to revel in that life of violence, and yet she spoke with an exhausted tone that belied a woman who understood the emotional cost of violence, but felt powerless to break free.
But looking at her now, Fluttershy couldn’t help but see her as anything more than a pitiful, heartbroken woman.
“How do you feel about her, Twilight Sparkle?” Fluttershy asked calmly, her gaze still fixed on Rarity.
“I don’t know,” Twilight said emptily. “Or rather, I don’t know what to say.”
Twilight Sparkle returned her attention to Fluttershy before burying her head in her hands, and Fluttershy thought it only polite to give Twilight her full attention in return.
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” she whimpered. “Sorry.”
“That’s okay,” Fluttershy gently placed her fingers around Twilight’s and offered a graceful smile. “What do you want to talk about instead?”
“I dunno,” Twilight muttered. “All of my good memories are wrapped up in memories of the library, yet right now it feels like those memories are as ruined as the library itself.”
Twilight groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Which reminds me,” she sighed bitterly, “I need to see the wreckage for myself. Need to see if there’s anything in there worth salvaging. That’s gonna be a downer.”
“I think I understand how you feel,” Fluttershy said carefully. She wanted to empathize, but she didn’t want to presume she knew what Twilight was going through just because she felt like she had gone through similar experiences. “I don’t have many pleasant memories of my home anymore either.”
“You come from Zebrica, right?” Twilight asked, and Fluttershy nodded with a small giggle. Zebrica was the only major territory that allowed dragons to live openly, so it wasn’t hard to guess where Fluttershy was from. “What region?”
“I kinda went all over,” Fluttershy said, and while she knew that answer was pretty unhelpful, she always tried to keep details of her past locked in a vault inside her brain that she never ever opened. “Ended up settling down in Dragmire for the longest though.”
The way Twilight instantly sucked air through her teeth, Fluttershy could tell she also spent some time in Dragmire.
“That’s rough. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Fluttershy shook her head and smiled. “We’re in this together now, and we’ve both gone through a lot. But the beautiful thing about life is that there will always be opportunities to make new happy memories.”
Twilight blinked and stared awkwardly at Fluttershy, which made Fluttershy feel a little anxious. Then Twilight burst out laughing and Fluttershy’s cheeks turned a deep, blazing pink and she wondered if perhaps she should have just kept her mouth shut.
“You’re so right, Fluttershy!” Twilight said with a big smile, and the wave of relief that washed over Fluttershy was indescribable. “I still have my son, and you, and Pinkie Pie too.”
“Yeah,” Fluttershy said softly. “Just cuz we have a lot of unhappy memories weighing us down, doesn’t mean we can’t blaze a new path toward a life worth living, y’know?”
“I do!” Twilight chirped, nodding vigorously. “We can make new happy memories, and you know what?”
“Hm?”
“I think I just did,” Twilight beamed, and Fluttershy smiled brightly back at her.
It was still going to be a long journey to the Crystal Empire, and yet Fluttershy was sure now more than ever that she was glad she came along.