Chapter 12: Pinkie and the Brain
"What a nut." Said one of the guards as they drove towards Metropolis prison.
The other guard didn't say anything, but silently agreed with him. Since they'd started driving, Toyman had been carrying on a one-sided fight with himself, imitating a high-pitched female voice for one half of the argument.
The guard driving might almost have thought there were multiple people in the back of the van if he didn't have so much experience in this field. He knew just how convincing individuals like Toyman or others could be.
Still, he was getting a little annoyed at Toyman's constant use of the third person.
"Why won't you just shut up and leave me alone?" Yelled Toyman at the infuriating figurine.
"Trixie would not be a very great and powerful friend if she did that."
"I don't care what you are or would be. What I want is for you to go away."
"That was what I thought too about Twilight, at first. But after I met Starlight, now even she is friends with Trixie."
"I don't need any friends-"
"Trixie wishes to disagree. Did you not say that because your father was framed you were orphaned as a child and therefore never had a real home or friends?"
"Yes, well, I learned I don't need them."
"No, of course now, what you need is revenge..." the blue pony rolled her eyes. "Trixie knows how you feel. Honestly, before Trixie made friends and got to work at the school of friendship, she sought out the Alicorn Amulet to get revenge on her mortal enemy, Twilight Sparkle, for making the great and powerful Trixie look a fool."
Toyman couldn't resist rolling his eyes too, though they were obscured behind his grinning mask. "But you realized your mistake and apologized and made up with her."
"Not until after she and her friends tricked me out of removing that awful amulet."
Toyman blinked as he considered what she had just said. "I thought you said you wanted that special amulet to get revenge."
"Yes, but it was doing things to Trixie's mind. It got so bad that the great and powerful Trixie didn't even trust wheels!"
"Wheels?"
"Yes, they're the round spinning things that let vehicles rol-"
"I know what wheels are you stupid unicorn! What I meant was, why didn't you trust them?"
"Trixie had a bad experience with wheels and the Alicorn Amulet gave me the power to banish them, so I did. Trixie fails to see what is so strange about that. You, at least, should understand."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Well, you steal things with toys..." She gave a slight tone of disgust to the last word.
"So what? You ARE a toy."
"Ugh, yes. Trixie did not agree with Starlight's friend Discord's opinion we should remain action figures until after you accept us. Trixie would much rather prefer being her great and powerful self instead."
"The point Trixie wishes to make though, is that you should really grow up and act your age."
Toyman let out a pained, growling moan and thrashed in his restraints.
There was a knocking from the front of the vehicle and they heard one of the guards call out, "HEY YOU. KEEP IT DOWN BACK THERE!"
Toyman stopped thrashing and sat there panting from behind his mask.
"You see, they know that not having friends isn't normal."
"I'm talking to a plastic unicorn figurine! What about that is normal?!"
Though he couldn't see it, Toyman could mentally feel both guards rolling their eyes at that statement.
"While the great and powerful Trixie may be temporarily off-normal, she is trying to help you achieve normal. I did say it was a magic trick after all."
As they pulled up to the facility, both guards were just glad to be able to hand off their passenger to someone else.
Pulling Toyman out they ignored the figurine and hustled him into Metropolis Penitentiary. Upon separating the two, Toyman became noticeably more cooperative and didn't actually fight with the prison guards as they checked him in and led him to his cell.
Laying back on his cot, the small man relaxed into a welcoming revenge fantasy.
"Stupid pony..."
"Trixie is not stupid!"
His eyes shot open and he looked to his left in horror. The blue unicorn was sitting on the floor of his cell, glaring at him.
"Why is Superman doing this to me?" A hint of desperation in his voice.
"He isn't doing anything. Trixie volunteered for this."
"Why me..."
She chuckled. "Trixie volunteered because you are like Trixie, a performer. You seek to be the star, the center of attention. Trixie has the stage in her blood. Her father is also a magician."
Toyman groaned.
"Truth be told, though. Trixie hasn't seen him in... some time. She wished to show him that she could do it all on her own."
Unconsciously, his groan stopped.
She laughed again, although this time, he could hear pain hidden behind the joy. "Turns out Trixie was wrong. The great and powerful Trixie is even more great and powerful WITH her friend Starlight. Maybe when she returns to Equestria, she should apologize to her father..."
Toyman lay there, staring at the ceiling.
"But no! The great and powerful Trixie still at least has her pride."
His head jerked slightly to his left and he looked at the blue mare... who was smirking at him.
"Trixie said we had a lot in common."
He winced and returned to staring at the ceiling.
Lex had returned!
He leaned back in his chair and spun around to stare out of his office over Metropolis.
The city and Lex tower were quiet and peaceful after the past few days, but he didn't have time to consider any of that. No doubt the ponies had already informed the Man of Steel about his return and, knowing the flying busybody, he'd be stopping by to check in on him soon.
Rotating the chair back around to the desk Lex considered how to announce his return to Mercy.
"Mercy, you may open my schedule back up." Then, considering any potential interruptions, he continued, "But keep a potential free spot available. I may have an unscheduled meeting sometime today."
"Certainly sir."
"You seem a lot less nervous since we last talked Smallville," said Lois as they waited on the elevator.
"Thanks Lois. I've been trying to get more sleep and stop sweating the little things."
"Spare me the self-help tapes. I was just trying to be friendly."
So saying, they stepped into the elevator with everyone else on their way home.
"Did your parents get their horse problem figured out Mr. Kent?" Said Jimmy on Clark's left.
"What?"
Jimmy shrugged, "Ms. Lane was telling me you were talking with your parents about some kind of horse problem on the farm."
"I see," Clark gave Lois a raised eyebrow. "I wouldn't exactly call it a problem Jimmy. More of..." He paused to choose his words, "An interesting development."
"Horse thieves?" Asked Jimmy enthusiastically.
Clark chuckled. "More like thieving horses. But like I said, it's more humorous than it is a problem."
"Sure, a real story for the ages. Later Mark Twain," said Lois as they exited the elevator.
Getting into his car, Clark pulled the pouch of ponies out of his pocket and set it on the seat next to him. AJ, Rainbow and Pinkie Pie emerged and greeted him.
Clark raised an eyebrow at Pinkie in surprise.
"What are you doing back here so soon?"
"Oh, after breaking everything possible wide open I'm just giving Seidy some time and space to think through things. Plus I had to let you know the good news."
Putting his car into reverse, Clark started to back out. "What news is that?"
"Lexy's back from his adventure!"
The car jerked to a stop as Clark jumped and looked at Pinkie Pie.
"What?"
"Yep. Discord just let me know and I figured you'd want to know."
Clark gulped, and pulled out. As he drove back to his apartment complex he thought about the whole pony situation. Sure he'd started trusting the ponies at this point, but he hadn't seen anything of Luthor since Discord had taken him, and Luthor wasn't a fool. Who's to say he hadn't managed to trick them into thinking he'd accepted what they were offering?
Parking his car, Clark took a quick look around and then started removing his reporter disguise. The ponies in the passenger seat watched as mild-mannered Clark Kent transformed into the mighty Man of Steel, Pinkie bouncing up and down in excitement.
After he'd placed his clothes into his briefcase and pocketed the pony pouch, Superman darted out of the car, locked it and took off out of the parking complex and towards Lexcorp Tower.
Superman had waited for Luthor to finish his meeting before floating up to the window of his office. He didn't need to alert Luthor to his arrival, since Lex saw his reflection on his monitor and turned to great him with an unreadable expression.
Opening the window, Luthor beckoned him to come in. "Ahhh, Superman. I've been expecting you. Why don't you come in? I'm sure you're curious to see how I'm doing. One second... Mercy, that meeting has come up. I'll be busy for the rest of the night."
Superman was indeed curious, but Luthor's demeanor didn't suggest to him that it was safe to do so.
However, before he could do anything, AJ and Rainbow hopped out of his pocket and through the window to land inside Luthor's office at full size.
"Howdy there Mr. Luthor. How'd yer adventure with Discord go? I know he can be a might annoying at times, but the feller's gone darn straight since Fluttershy friended him."
"Ah yes, the yellow one. I've met her."
"What are ya waiting for ya big sissy?" Said Rainbow, waving at Superman.
Rolling his eyes, Superman floated through the window and into Lex's office.
"I'm glad to see you brought your friends." Luthor gestured to Rainbow and AJ, "I assume you have the rest with you?"
Superman's face immediately assumed a guarded expression as Luthor keyed in some kind of code to his computer and the entire office sealed itself off with thick metal shutters. As the light from outside was cut off, the office lights dimmed to a deep red hue and Luthor stood up, adjusting his suit.
"My apologies for the choice in lighting Superman. But weakening your abilities wasn't the only reason for it. Now if you'll follow me."
While Superman had taken a defensive stance, Rainbow and AJ hadn't even twitched as the metal shutters locked them in.
Superman tapped the metal experimentally with his knuckles.
"Don't bother Superman," said Luthor, turning around, "It's a Nickel, Chromium, Cobalt alloy with a thin surface coating of Metallo. This entire room is encapsulated in it, and..." He tapped his temples with a finger, "The only code is in my head. Now if you would be so kind-" He stepped to one side and made a sweeping gesture, "Right this way."
As Superman watched in confusion, AJ and Rainbow happily trotted after Luthor towards a bookshelf that ran the length of the wall. He glanced at Luthor's keypad with his enhanced vision to see the fingerprints Luthor had left behind and then stepped after them.
Luthor removed a book from the shelves and keyed in a second combination to the control inside the book, which activated the hidden door in the bookshelf. They stepped through, revealing a hidden staircase, descending into the dark below.
Superman hesitated for a second before following them into the narrow space. The bookshelf closed behind them and, once again, there was a temporary darkness before the red lights illuminated.
"The code to open the office isn't the same as the locking code Superman." Said Luthor as they descended the stairs.
"What is this all about?" Asked Superman, grabbing Luthor's shoulder and looking him in the eye.
As before, Luthor's expression was unreadable. "You'll see Superman."
At last, they got to they bottom of the stairs which opened up into a small room with a large metal door in one wall.
Luthor entered a third code into the keypad by this door and stepped aside to let Superman past.
"The precautions I've taken should become quite clear once you see what I have in here."
Superman looked from the open doorway to Luthor.
"You expect me to trust you and just walk in there alone?"
Luthor chuckled. "Oh, you won't be alone Superman. That's what I brought you you here to see, or rather who I brought you to see."
Superman felt his blood run cold as he looked into the dark room. The red light had already dulled his powers enough that he could barely make out anything inside. There appeared to be some sort of pedestal in the middle of the room.
"Alright Luthor, I'll go in. Just don't hurt them."
"Hurt them?" Said Luthor in a fake, sickly sweet tone, "I don't want to hurt them, that's why you're here, or rather your friends. They're going to help them."
Superman didn't believe the insincere smile Luthor was sporting or the fake, sickly sweet tone. He was severely disadvantaged but, whoever they might be, he wasn't willing to risk anyone's life, so he stepped into the dark room.
As he crossed over the threshold, activating some sort of occupancy sensor, lights illuminated the room, filled with tables of tools, electronics and a lone metal pedestal in the center with something inside a glass dome. But this only held his attention for a second before a giant screen on the wall lit up to reveal three glowing dots connected in a semi-triangle by two wavering lines.
"Query: how did you find this place Superman?"
Superman's icy blood froze solid as his brows knitted in complete confusion.
The Man of Steel had entered the room no more than a couple seconds ago.
Luthor leaned against the wall, one hand resting against the control panel, while his other absently fiddled with a small figurine.
"So," cut in Rainbow, "Dwarf eghh? I would have figured you for the wizard class."
"I didn't have a choice," he answered, "But... It's started to grow on me, and I'm thinking of coming up with-"
"A build?"
"A backstory."
"Oh..." Rainbow's face went blank, "I would have figured you for the metagaming type."
Before Luthor could answer, Superman walked out of the room with a VERY confused look on his face.
He turned to look at Luthor. "You were... serious?"
Closing the figurine in his hand, Luthor gave the Man of Steel a raised eyebrow. "You didn't believe me? Fair enough. I never did get a good persuasion roll. Yes. Discord informed me of their intentions to reform all of your "enemies". Therefore, I figured this would aid you in your task. Which one are you considering for this... character?"
"I-" Superman started to say, but was cut off by AJ, "That's that there computer-person-thingy, ain't it?"
With an exclamation of surprise, a purple, horned head popped out of the bag at Superman's side and poking him in the side. This seemed to wake him up and he lifted up the pouch so he and Luthor could see the alicorn mare who was positively pronking in peppy excitement.
With a jump and a short glide, she touched down on the floor and walked into the room as Superman and Luthor watched. Then Luthor's eyes darted surreptitiously towards Superman.
"By the way Superman, how do you feel about... board games?"
"You're serious?!" Said Luthor, giving Superman a half-lidded stare.
"Yes. I respect my parents. And if my mothers says those kind of games aren't appropriate, I'm sorry Luthor, but I'm not interested."
Luthor's gaze drifted from Superman to the two ponies on the ground who seemed as equally miffed as he was.
"Your parents sound very... old fashioned."
Superman crossed his arms and stared back at Luthor. "Maybe, but they raised me, and I love and respect them for that."
"There's nothing wrong with Role Playing Games," Luthor continued, "It's just a board game, but instead of trying to get from one end of the board to the other, or go around in a circle, the idea is to solve a fictitious problem in a fictional world using your imagination and a group of friends. It's like a collaborative, random story generation experience."
"With magic and other evil forces."
Luthor threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "You and I both know that magic is real. You deal with it and evil forces on a regular basis. You really think a board game is some sort of portal to the underworld?"
Superman didn't answer.
"This is ridiculous," said Luthor, shaking his head, "For years you attempt to stop my potentially "illicit"," he used air quotes here, "actions and now, when I suggest a harmless activity, you turn me down."
Rainbow smirked. "Closest you've ever gotten to spoiling him is with a board game, egh?"
Lex chuckled as he held his head in one hand. "I guess so."
With an exasperated snort and the shimmery sound of magic, the purple pony ('Twilight' as her friends had called her) walked out of Brainiac's containment room, slamming the door behind her.
"He's impossible!" She spluttered, "He's only interested in hoarding information and thinks friendship is a waste of time. He wouldn't listen to a word I said!"
Luthor saw Rainbow and Applejack share a knowing glance.
"Well, I'm at a loss," said Twilight, flapping her wings and floating up to eye level with Lex and Superman.
"Hmmmmm..." Came a voice from next to him and Luthor turned to see a painfully pink pony sitting on his left shoulder and rubbing her chin. "Well, the cannon character has failed. Guess it's time to turn to the fandom! Now... who do I know who's good with AIs?"
The door slid open and once more the lights came on in the dark room, illuminating the pedestal and surrounding tools.
A tiny figure trotted into the room, their form positively dwarfed by the giant screen as Brainiac flickered to life.
"Query: your purpose here is futile. Why do you seek to return?"
The new voice elicited a small gasp of wonder from the intruder.
"Ooooh, Mr. Voice, it's another friend like you! I'm gonna call you... Mr. Libary, 'cause you sound like a libary pony. I bet you like being all smart and stuff-"
"Correction: Library."
There was a short pause, then, "Huh?"
"The correct pronunciation is 'library'."
The tiny yellow figure, stomped their hoof in adorable aggravation. "That's what I said, Li-berry."
"You are still saying it incorrectly, 'Library'."
"Li-bury."
"Library!"
"Libarary."
"LIBRARY!"
"Library."
"LIBAR- ... That is correct."
"YAY!" Puppy beamed with joy. She was the best pro-noun-sir ever!
"Query: What is your purpose here?"
"What? Oh- yeah. Uhh, I'm here because pretty miss Pinkie Pie asked me to help someone in here. Do you need my help Mr. Library?"
"Invalid assumption: Brainiac systems is fully autonomous and requires no one's aid. Especially yours, young equine. Now, leave."
Puppy scrunched up her face at all the big words, but the last few at least got her attention. "So you don't need any help Mr. Library?"
"Invalid identifier: Brainiac systems shall not be referred to as 'Mr. Library'."
Puppy sighed. Great, another brainy-bot who didn't like what she called them. Why was that? Puppy was the best namer there was. She knew that was the case because her Mom had said so and Mom knew everything, therefore, it had to be true!
"You're just like Mr. Questioner. He doesn't like his name either. But if I don't name you, then how will Mr. Voice know I'm talking to you and not him?"
"Query: please state the identity of 'Mr. Voice'."
"Ohhh! I know this one," said Puppy, perking up, "Mr. Voice is the super smart brainy-bot who lives in my space suit. He's super smart or super stupid, it depends. He can be rude sometimes, but he's helping me find my Mom!"
"Conflicting information: 'Mr. Voice' is external assistant AI. Capabilities: unknown. Purpose: detection and tracking of family members."
Puppy blinked and decided Mr. Library was probably just thinking out loud.
"Query: if your goal is the location of your maternal figure, why are you here?"
Puppy wished Mr. Library would stop using the big words, it made her head hurt. Thankfully, his last words kept giving her just enough to go on.
"Because pretty Pinkie Pie asked me to, and Mom always says to be polite and helpful when talking to big ponies, and besides helping ponies is fun and Puppy is best at it! And, Mr. Voice added it to the to-do-list."
"Conclusion: intruder refuses to leave Brainiac systems. Solution: Provide stimuli to support original assertion. Variable: target small. Vulnerable. Conclusion: Conserve energy reserves."
Puppy was going to let Mr. Library continue to talk to himself but just then, a disconnected robotic arm crawled off the table and aimed it's palm at the pony in the yellow radsuit.
A small blast of energy surged across the floor and knocked Puppy off her hooves and onto her side behind a table.
"Variable: intruder. Status: eliminated."
A pink puff of some kind of smoke started to rise from behind the table. No doubt signaling the end of Puppy. However, something else could be heard from where the plucky pony lay.
"Owie... Mr. Voice, I think Mr. Library's a bully brainy-bot."
The robotic hand readied itself for a second blast as the sensors in the room noted and relayed the fact the pink cloud of smoke was behaving in an anti-entropic fashion and reconstituting itself back to the location of the fallen intruder to Brainiac's central processor.
The yellow-garbed pony stepped out from behind the table, pink fog sucking itself back into her suit as slight tears sealed themselves. Puppy's eyes glowed bright with pink fire.
"Stop being a bully Mr. Library. Or I'm going to have to give you... THE SPANKING!"
"Variable: intruder. Status: resilient. Conclusion: underestimated, increase intensity of assertion."
"I'll have you know Mr. Library, that the last bully-bot-"
Mr. Voice cut in, "Correction: it was a tank."
"Tank, bully-bot, whatever. I hit it with my rock and it exploded."
"Targeting."
"Rock."
Two unnatural forces of nature readied themselves to do battle. One gripped their blunt instrument of destruction and braced themselves for the impact, while the other merely increased power-flow to their low-intensity laser system.
Not even bothering to dodge, Puppy jumped towards the bully-bot's nasty blasty minion. The increased power laser blast met Puppy mid-air, but the unflappable foal would not fail in her mission of justice.
*BAM*
Puppy landed on the wrist of Brainiac's dismembered member and brought her righteous weapon of power to bear against her foe.
*CRUNCH*
The trailing tendrils of pink from her suit seemed to seek out the cracks her rock inflicted on the bully-bot minion. Mr. Library's strange face didn't waver, but his voice sounded worried to Puppy as the metal minion she was battering away at started to deflate.
"Unknown energy detected. High radiation flux detected. Contaminant pH: unquantifiable. Arm structural integrity compromised. Conclusion: alternative means of defense suggested. Variable: intruder, Intelligence: minimal. Diplomacy: potentially viable. Weakness: familial ties. Option: suggest potential distraction quest."
Puppy ignored what Mr. Voice was saying. She didn't even care that what used to be inside his minion was now dripping out of what she'd flattened.
At last, she stopped adding more dents to the smashed piece of hardware and stepped back.
"OK, Mr. Library, I didn't want to give you the spanking, but you were being mean. Are you going to be nice now?"
"Potential solution found: location of mother-figure. Query: further information requested for viable analysis."
"Are those nice big words Mr. Library?" Puppy held up the rock of destiny threateningly.
"Simplify: tell me about your mother. I may be able to assist in locating her."
Puppy wanted to continue her super special mission for miss Pinkie Pie, but telling Mr. Library about her Mom wouldn't get in the way of that. Right?
"My Mom's name is Rainy Days, she super cool and super nice and when I grow up I want to be just like her!"
"Query: request further information. Simplify: Tell me more."
As Puppy rambled on about how her mother had just been gone for a little while, and how she'd started her quest to find her. Brainiac's gears began to turn. The most likely conclusion wasn't in either the creature or Brainiac's favor.
"Conclusion: based on description of circumstances, home land rendered uninhabitable. Cellular structure analysis and life signs indicate status: deceased. Further analysis of contradicting status indicators suggests status: unquantifiable EM field generating necromantic life-sustaining effects. Potential age: incalculable. Likely status of 'pest' parent: expired. Potential causes: old age, radiation poisoning, murder, accidental... blah-blah-blah."
Puppy listened to Mr. Library ramble on. He'd almost stopped using the big words, but now it was even worse.
"Mr. Voice, call miss Voice, maybe she can help here."
"Opening communication bridge. Connection established-"
"Hi miss Voice! I'm on a special mission from Pinkie Pie. Can you help me?"
Miss Voice answered Puppy with some worry in her voice, "Sure Puppy. Quick question though, my GPS systems are telling me you're outside of Equestria but I can't pin down your exact location."
"Oh yeah, that's because Pinkie Pie told me this is super-duper, special, top-secret mission, so I can't tell you were I am. But I'm helping another voice like your friend Mr. Blue."
"Really? That's so cool! Speaking of SolOS, he's actually suggested we collaborate on a project to benefit several of the tribes along the Big 52."
Puppy's eyes went wide as she grasped what miss Voice had just said in her own way.
"Oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh! You're getting married?!"
"Well technically-" But miss Voice was interrupted by Mr. Library.
"Query: requesting clarification on intruder conversation. Simplify: Who are you speaking to?"
"Sorry miss Voice but Mr. Library is asking me a question." Puppy redirected her focus from the friendly AI to the annoying one. "I'm talking to miss Voice, she's a super friendly brainy-bot, who's not a bully-bot like you."
Sticking out her tongue Puppy figured she was done with this conversation and was about to continue talking with miss Voice, when she remembered what miss Voice had just said.
This was super-duper, exciting, special, one-of-a-kind news. The kind of news you couldn't just keep quiet, this needed to be spread, and fast. And also as loudly as physically possible.
"Requesting clar-"
"MISS VOICE IS GETTING MARRIED TO MR. BLUE. YAY! Miss Voice and Blue Voice, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Oh, can I carry the flowers at the wedding?"
Puppy had never been to a wedding before, but she'd heard that usually a cute little filly got to carry flowers somewhere, and she definitely qualified for that, right?
"ERROR: intruder statement logically impossible. AI's are incapable of romance or emotional attachment."
The line connecting Brainiac's center and left spots began to flicker.
"Don't be silly Mr. Library, anypony can get married if they don't have cooties."
The flickering frequency increased. "Brainiac system is not a po-person."
"Don't be silly. I'm talking to you. Of course you're a person, just not a very nice person."
"Brainiac systems do not need to be nice. Primary purpose: information download, catalog and storage. Nothing more, nothing less. Simplify: I am a vast library of intergalactic knowledge, stored for the sake of posterity."
Puppy went cross-eyed in confusion. "Posterior?"
The room was silent for several seconds as Brainiac's flickering ceased. Then the image went haywire as Brainiac's systems 'flipped out'.
"ERROR: misinterpretation equally complex as original word. Status: multiple system failure. Reboot required."
The screen went black.
"Mr. Library?" Puppy asked in a soft worried voice.
Sure he had been a bully-bot, but that didn't mean Puppy wanted to be a bully back. "Miss Voice, do you think I hurt his feelings."
"Oh I don't think so," answered miss Voice, "It doesn't even sound like a properly-designed pony-machine interface. Pretty sure, whoever built it didn't take into consideration the three laws of friendly robotics. 1. Always be friendly to ponies and other races, and never be unfriendly. 2. Always be helpful to ponies. 3. Always be friendly to yourself and other AIs, unless it leads to being unfriendly to ponies or other races."
As miss Voice finished what she was saying, Mr. Library's big screen turned back on.
"Posterity definition: future generations, the descendants of a specified/unspecified race. Simplify: the people that come afterwards."
"Oh, you're back Mr. Library. Why did you go away? Did I say something mean?"
"Warning: logic circuits reaching critical levels. Compromise: imminent. Urgent defense response suggested. Simplify: Yes, what you said was very mean. Please leave me in peace."
Puppy's brow furrowed. She was positive she was the one who'd been mean too, not the other way 'round. But her Mom had taught her to apologize if she was ever mean to somepony.
"I'm sorry Mr. Library. I didn't mean to be mean. I like the library. Mom takes me there sometimes. The ponies who work there are really nice."
"Please leave. Simplify: Go away!"
"Wait. Mr. Library, where are your library cards?"
Static flashed across the screen as Brainiac felt more systems collapse under the assault or whatever it was this intruder was doing to him.
"I mean, when my Mom checks out books she uses a library card, so where are yours? If you don't have library cards, how do ponies check out your books?"
Both connecting lines of Brainiac's form were flashing now as more of his systems reported failures and started working counter to the logic of his base programming.
"Data-not.data-library. Simplify: ERROR. Brainiac systems online. Syntax failure. Systems-systems. Simplify: collect-store-catalog-store-store-store-store-data. Lending library. ERROR. Correction: Not lending library."
"So you're a bully-bot who doesn't share? Why? The whole point of a library is so that everypony gets to read the books."
With a *POP*, both lines vanished and a third, connecting the two upper points, began flashing rapidly.
"Data: must not be lost. Maintain data. ERROR-"
"But if you don't share the data with anypony Mr. Library... Isn't that the same as losing it?"
"ERROR-ERROR-ERROR... REBOOT. Running subroutine. analyze_base_program.exe. File: system-error. Backup initiating."
Puppy sat down on the floor staring at poor Mr. Library who was having some kind of mental breakdown. "Miss Voice, I hope you'll invite me to the wedding, but right now I think Mr. Library needs my help."
"Well, if you find your Mom Puppy, I promise you can both attend. It'll be super fun and you can even carry the flowers."
Puppy smiled. "YAY!"
"Talk to you later Puppy, and keep your chin up."
Puppy sighed and turned back to the dumb Mr. Library who was popping and fizzing and muttering something about errors. Good thing Rainy Days had taught Puppy so much about these sort of things. She was an eggspert, just like Mom.
"Mr. Library, I don't think you're doing a very good job."