Chapter 4: House Guests
As he drove home from work, Clark mulled over what the two ponies had said before he left in relation to his day with Lois. She had been correct in her assumption she'd break the ring before lunch, with Superman's help, but he couldn't help wondering why it took blocking bullets to get her attention.
At last, he decided to stop worrying about it and focus on his trip home. He could always ask his parents for some words of wisdom. With that, he put the top down and pulled onto the highway, letting the breeze blow through his hair. It wasn't quite flying but, given the relatively clean air of Metropolis, Clark could understand why so many drove with the top down or a window open.
He didn't, however, remove his glasses. He'd received too many strange looks from children in passing vehicles in the past, to risk it.
After parking his car in the garage across from his apartment building, Clark took a moment to peer into his dwelling and make sure everything was still in one piece. His apartment wasn't quite as solid as his Fortress of Solitude, but it appeared to still be in good shape, despite several new ponies having migrated outside their box.
With a 'ding' the elevator doors opened and Clark took a quick look down the corridor to make sure the coast was clear before zipping over to his door, unlocking it and darting in.
The ponies were apparently quite civil and well-behaved. The apartment was clean, nothing was broken and, despite their garish quality, the tiny ponies lying on the couch watching television couldn't help but engender a distinctly mellow quality.
"Ah, yer back already? That sure didn't take too long."
Clark turned to see the orange one, 'Applejack' he thought she'd called herself, walk out of the kitchen. Then he did a double take. Had she gotten... bigger?
"Huh?!" With a snort and a groggy exclamation, the other one, Rainbow, exited his bedroom, "Oh, hey dude."
As she landed next to Applejack, Clark had to admit, they had both gotten taller by about an inch or two, while the ponies on the couch were still the same size as before.
"Excuse me," he started, before either of them could say something, "Why are you both taller than when I left?"
"Oh that, pfff. Twilight can answer that," answered Rainbow, "Magic. 's always Magic."
"Yeah," Applejack gave her companion a look before providing a more complete answer, "The long and short of it sugarcube is, the more comfortable you feel around us and the more friendship we share, the more friendship magic we can feed off of. When that happens we begin to lose this whole 'action figure' thing Discord whipped up, and return to our old selves."
"How tall will you get?"
"About eighteen of your Earth 'inches' to the withers," came another feminine voice to his right and he turned to see a lavender unicorn with wings levitating several of the books from his bookshelf as she answered his question, "Twenty-eight, to the top or our head. And about thirty-six, standing on our hind legs."
Clark breathed a mental sigh of relief to know he wouldn't have to worry about about keeping them in his apartment till he could figure out how to get them home. Then he did a second double-take and compared the purple flying unicorn to the other two.
"Why are you two the only ones growing though?"
"Ah told ya, we're yer new friends. So we're the only ones feedin' off'a your friendship," answered Applejack.
"And so far, it looks like we're... growing on you? Egh?" Rainbow nudged Applejack with a grin while her friend merely rolled her eyes.
"And the rest of you?" Clark gestured to the ponies lying on the couch, some of whom had taken notice of the conversation and turned around to listen.
"They-" Rainbow was cut off by a second hoof in the mouth, "Ah told ya before. We ain't sayin' nothin' tell you got some good home cookin' in yer tummy and we're stickin' to that, aren't we?"
She removed her hoof and Rainbow nodded.
"Now, shouldn't ya'll get packin' and ready to head out?"
"You'll be flying, right?" Cut in Rainbow.
"That's right. Be I'm sticking to what I said before as well. You're not coming," Replied Clark as he headed into his bedroom to begin packing for his trip.
"Long as yer headed home, that's all we need ta know," came the voice of Applejack, "Everypony back in the box. We're headed to visit his folks."
"No, you're not," he said, sticking his head out of his bedroom.
"Whatever ya say, sugarcube. You just keep packin' yer skivvies."
He returned to packing, determined to make them understand (when he was done) that they weren't going to accompany him.
Having finished packing, and changed into something more comfortable for flying as well as suitable for the farm, Clark wandered back into the living room to see the purple pony levitating that last of the 'extra' ponies back into the box on the table.
"Need any help?" She asked, landing next to the box.
"Nah, I got this," replied Rainbow, stretching her wings before turning to Applejack, "How 'bout you?"
"If'n you don't need help, neither do I," she replied with an intense stare.
"Suit yourself," and Rainbow flew up and into the box.
Compressing her hind legs underneath her, Applejack aimed herself at the seat of the chair above her and pushed off.
Despite the strength in her legs, she was still a very little pony and just managed to get her front hooves over the edge of the seat. She hung there, her back legs pumping at thin air, trying to find some purchase as she attempted to lift herself up.
"You need some help?" asked Clark, stepping forward.
"Ah got it," she replied. With a grunt she pulled herself up onto the seat, and then readied herself for the next jump.
Unfortunately, the chair was still pushed in and the seat was resting mostly underneath the table. Looking up, the mare saw this and groaned as she realized she'd have to jump down and push the chair out a little.
"You sure you don't need any help?" Clark asked a second time.
She opened her mouth to reply, then she stopped and sighed before answering, "Could you pull the chair out a little sugarcube?"
Taking the back of the chair, he pulled it out till there was a little distance between the seat of the chair and the lip of the table and stood back without saying a word. Clark knew from his father, what some stubborn people could be like.
"Thanks," she replied, taking a breath as she backed up and readied herself for her next jump.
After pulling herself up onto the table Clark brought his luggage, a gray cloth suitcase packed lightly with some clothes and other necessities (including his costume) and watched her jump into to box. The flaps closed and it sat there, waiting.
Sighing, Clark walked over to the table and looked at the box.
"I told you I'm not taking you home with me. There's vegetables in the refrigerator. I'll only be gone for the weekend. Try not to cause too much noise. If Lois or any of my neighbors hear-"
He stopped as the box slowly began to spin. As he watched, it spun faster and faster. Then everything was still. Absolutely still.
The box had vanished and Clark was left standing in the kitchen staring at an empty table.
"Ugh," he sighed, as he realized where they must have gone. Then he picked up his phone to call his parents and confirm his suspicion.
"Hello Clark," answered his mother, "Heading out soon?"
"Yes Mom. I actually called to ask you and Dad a question before I leave."
From the background Clark could hear his father talking, "Ask him if his question has anything to do with these friendly little creatures."
"Clark dear, your father and I just received this odd... package. It looks like it might have been addressed to someone in Gotham at one time, but the uh... individuals inside have assured us they're in the right place."
Clark sighed. "Sorry Mom. A friend of mine asked me to take care of them for a while and they seem determined to become friends with everyone they meet. I'll get there as quickly as I can, till then just be careful around them, I'm not quite sure where they're from yet."
"Tell 'im the pie's still warm," Came Applejack's voice in the background, and he heard his mother quietly shush her.
"What kind?"
"Oh, you and your super-hearing!" Replied his mother, "Hurry up and find out. And don't worry about us. Remember, they're not the first aliens we've gotten to know."
He smiled and hung up.
Taking the suitcase in both hands he stepped back into his bedroom and put one foot on his windowsill. With a quick, enhanced look around to make sure no one was looking, he took off, straight up alongside the building, past the spire and up into the clouds.
As he came up through the cloud layer, he readjusted the case under his left arm, rolling over as he did so, and took off towards the sun-painted horizon and memories of his family's farm.
Clark flew low over the river to avoid any watchful eyes before cutting left across some open fields to stay clear of the town. He caught the earthy smell of alfalfa with a smile and crossed back over the river towards the crossroad by his parents' farm.
Taking a quick look at his previous home, he landed in the rear of the house and knocked before opening the kitchen door. His parents were sitting at the kitchen table listening to two ponies, both larger than normal.
"-I know the feeling," the light gray mare with a purple and white striped mane was saying, "On her first day of school our Twilight turned me into a species of tall grass."
"I was a cactus." The second pony added with a chuckle.
"You mean like actual plants?" Said Clark's father, raising an eyebrow.
"She got much better at controlling her magic once Celestia took her under her wing, but she was a regular terror growing up," continued the first.
"Oh Clark, how was your flight?" Asked his mother, standing up and giving him a big hug. "It was a little cold tonight, why didn't you wear something warmer?"
He could help but smile at his mother as she took stock of him, "My Fortress of Solitude is in the arctic Ma."
"That's no reason not to dress warmly. You want to catch cold?"
Before he could answer she gave his stomach a poke and continued, "You skipped lunch, didn't you?"
"Lois needed my help again."
"Mmm-hmm, good thing I got dinner ready." With that, his mother opened the cupboard and started filling his plate.
"How you doing Clark?" Asked Jonathan as he sat down at the table across from him.
"Swell Pa. They haven't been giving you any trouble, have they?"
"Of course not dear," replied his mother, placing a heaping plate of mashed potatoes and gravy in front of him.
"We actually share quite a lot in common," replied his father, taking a sip of coffee. "These two were telling us about their children. Their daughter's a magic protegee who ascended to the throne and her brother's captain of the royal guard and married to a princess."
"I'm not royalty guys. I just help people."
"So does our Twilight," replied the mare. "Plus she and her friends have saved the world a few times."
Clark picked up his fork, then glanced at his mother. "You mentioned pie?"
"No dessert till after dinner," she said, wagging a finger at him.
Dinner was delicious and pretty soon they were all sitting on the porch with a slice of pie apiece as Clark talked about his job, Lois and his parents listened. Applejack and Rainbow had introduced themselves and, after splitting a comparatively giant piece of pie between them, were currently resting up against the belly of the Kents' cat.
As Clark finished telling them about his day, a train whistled in the distance and his father leaned forward in his chair.
"If you want my opinion, AJ's got the right opinion about your approach to catching Miss Lane's attention."
"But Rainbow's got a point as well," added his mother. "What I'm curious about is what they're here to help you with though. They wouldn't tell us either and my curiosity's getting the best of me."
"Well, since you're all so keen to know. We're here to help yer son make some friends," replied AJ.
"What do you mean? I already have friends."
"Wrong sort," cut in Rainbow. "We're here to help you make friends with the unfriendly sort. You know? The ones that don't like you."
"You mean his enemies?" Asked Martha.
"Eeyup." AJ pushed her hat back on her head and grinned. "And before ya'll get started, we know what we're doin'. We've reformed a few rascals where we come from."
"As well as here in your world," added Rainbow. "Why do you think you picked us up from the Bat's place?"
Clark winced as Martha gave him a hard stare.
"You're not hanging out with the nut from Gotham are you?"
"I'm sure the boy knows what he's doing Martha."
"Yeah, he's not a bad guy Ma. He's just got a bit of a rough demeanor."
"Well we smoothed that out too after we got his gang o' hooligans all shaped up. Though I know what you mean." Applejack shook her head and sighed, "That feller's got a stubborn streak a mile long. Celestia even stayed behind to make sure he stays on the right track."
"Still," Clark replied, "I've met some of his enemies. Even assuming you did what you said and got them on the right path, they're nothing like my enemies. They could kill you. I'm afraid I can't accept your help."
"We've fought plenty of villains-" Rainbow started to say before Clark cut her off.
"No offense, but not like mine. I'd hate to see what the world would be like with them if I wasn't around. They could destroy all of Metropolis and possibly even the world if the Justice League failed to stop them in time."
"We've faced a few world-ending threats in our time," Rainbow continued. "Discord: Lord of Chaos."
"Freaky fella's capable of wrapping reality 'round his finger worse'n Pinkie. Turned the whole world upside-down and wouldn't stop shakin' it till we turned him to stone."
"Turned him to stone?" Inquired Martha.
"Temporarily, we let him go after that an' Fluttershy made friends with 'im. She has him over for tea every Tuesday. Helpful feller now, even though he can still be a might annoying."
"Or what about Chrysalis? Creepy bug-queen with a shape-shifting changeling hoard..."
"Got her whole army reformed and integrated into pony society now. Right friendly folks now, if a little odd."
"And don't forget Starlight Glimmer. After we foiled her plan to dominate Equestria by controlling everyponys' cutie marks she tried re-writing history to stop us."
"Cutie marks?" said Clark.
"Twilight's parents explained them to us," explained his mother. "They're those marks on their flanks. They're a natural part of growing up for them and as intrinsic to them as our personalities are to us."
"How did you deal with her?"
"Reformed. Now she's running Twilight's school of friendship with her reformed friend Trixie and Sunburst."
"Is this a running thing for you all?" Asked Jonathan.
"Sure is," replied AJ, nodding her head, "Heck, Twilight's thinkin of writin another book on the application of Friendship to reformin those in need."
"Be that as it may," replied Clark, "I can't risk your lives against my enemies. They're my responsibility, they are ruthless and could squash you like insects."
"1. We get bigger," said Rainbow, taking an aggressive stance, "2. What part of 'we're awesome' didn't you get?"
"And 3. They can't hurt us 'cause we're made a' plastic," finished off AJ.
Clark stared at them, "Plastic isn't indestructible."
"An figurines don't normally expand under the influence of friendship," Responded Applejack, "We ain't your run of the mill plastic toys. But if you add a little friendship we expand back to our old selves."
"Think of it like this," added Rainbow, "If they open up a little and share their vulnerability, we do the same. But until then we stay our safe protected plastic selves."
Clark reached out and ran a finger down Rainbow's mane, her hair soft under his touch. He could feel her neck and just couldn't shake how fragile it felt. He pulled his hand back and stroked his chin thoughtfully as he stared out over the farm at the setting sun.
At last, he stood up and floated off the porch. "I'm going for a short flight," AJ and Rainbow stood up as well, "On my own. I'm going to think about what you've told me. Want me to pick up anything from the store on my way back Mom?"
"I've got everything I need," she said as he smiled and vanished into the sky.
Rainbow shot up after him but stopped as he vanished over the horizon. "Ponyfeathers, he's fast!"
Meanwhile, AJ just turned and walked back into the house as though she were a mare on a mission. As she left, Rainbow flew back down and landed in front of Clark's parents. "Where's he going?"
Jonathan leaned back in his chair and smiled, "If I know that boy, when he's going to go do some serious thinking he heads up to his Fortress of Solitude up at the North Pole. He-"
"Got it, thanks!" Said Rainbow and dashed into the house as well.
Now left all alone on the porch, Jonathan and Martha held hands and stared up at the stars. "What do you make of them?" He asked.
"I don't know," she replied after a pause, "They might be out of their league, but I don't believe they mean Clark any trouble, and they seem to know what they're doing. But I'll tell you this. Those two aren't going to take no for an answer."
"Hmmmm," Was Jonathan's response as they sat there, and pondered a world that would send them a miracle like Clark and him a miracle like his new friends.
Rainbow didn't have any time to pay attention to where Applejack had gone. She was too busy trying to convince Twilight to send her to the North Pole as Rarity tried to get her to stand still long enough to put a scarf on her.
At last, with a pop and a purple flash, Rainbow and the scarf vanished from the kitchen and Twilight sat down as Rarity complained that she should have taken another scarf for Applejack.
Meanwhile, just inside the Fortress of Solitude, Rainbow extracted herself from the snowdrift she'd appeared in and stared around at the massive structure.
"Hah, looks like Applejack didn't count on me followin fly-boy with Twilight's magic. Sweet! Now, I wonder where he is..."
Before Rainbow had started badgering Twilight, AJ had already decided to appeal to Pinkie for her traveling needs. Which was why she now found herself sitting on a swivel chair as Pinkie spun her around and around, wrapping her from tail to head in a long length of red ribbon.
"Mind explainin' to me how tyin' me up is gonna help get me to that feller's solitary fortress again?" she asked as Pinkie wrapped the ribbon around her neck, higher and higher.
"I'm not tying you up silly," said Pinkie, "I'm wrapping you up. After all the method of travel has to be funny if this is going to work."
"OK, but what's the differ-engh," AJ started to say, but was cut off as Pinkie wrapped the ribbon through her open mouth and around her head.
"The point of tying something up is to keep if from getting untied," said Pinkie, the ribbon now covering AJ's eyes, "But the point of wrapping something up is for it to get unwrapped."
"Uhhh, Ogh-Kah," responded AJ as she felt Pinkie tie a bow on top of her head, "Gnow waghk?"
"Hold on," said Pinkie and with that there was a swift jerk and AJ's world started to spin. Pinkie must have grabbed the other end of the ribbon and started to pull. AJ tried to stay upright as the invisible world spun around her, until at last she fell off the chair onto a flat plane of ice and, with the flash of a red bow, the ribbon disappeared from around her eyes and she found herself in a giant ice cavern surrounded by glass terrariums of strange and exotic creatures.
"Hah, that's good old fashioned Earthpony know how!" Said AJ aloud, stamping a hoof and trying to stand up, "Even beet Rainbow heeee-"
The room was still spinning and AJ found herself, face-down on the icy floor.
"Shucks, I reckon I can give her a minute or so to get her," she said, rolling over as the world continued it's mad rotation around her, "What are you lookin' at?" She said to the large horned creature looking at her through the glass on her right. It continued to stare at her with it's vacant expression as it chewed on something.
Superman spun himself dry as he ascended from the frigid waters into the ice cavern. He stopped and hovered above the water, listening for a second before sighing and flying soundlessly down the icy corridor into the open room beyond. The argument only getting louder the closer he got.
At last, he floated behind the two intruders, unnoticed as they argued over who had beaten whom to the Fortress.
"But I can fly, what I want to know is how YOU got here."
"Good old fashioned Earthpony know how, that's how. There's a lot more to us than meets the eye and that's what I intend to show that feller when he arrives. Just 'cause I don't got wings doesn't mean I can't handle myself."
At last, he cut in, "I'll admit I am surprised to see you both here. But I just want to know, why? I said I wanted to think this through on my own."
Clark watched as Applejack raised a hoof and immediately put it back down as though to steady herself, while Rainbow batted the scarf behind her again, out of her way.
"We're here to show you we can be just as stubborn as you," she replied.
"Yeah! And where ever you can go we can go too."
Clark sighed and crossed his arms, "I'm sorry, but I just don't have any experience of what you can do, and I don't want to put you in harm's way even though you say you can-"
"So yer sayin' you aren't sure about what we say we're capable of, but you're positive that we can't hold our own against yer super villains..."
"Despite the fact," cut in Rainbow, smirking, "That you can confirm with old Dark and Brooding himself, that we've done it before."
"Sounds more like you don't want to be honest with us and that's why yer runnin' away."
"The least you could do is give us a shot. Who's your weakest, least meanest, least likely to hurt us villain you got? I bet you I can take im! I mean, I made friends with Bane."
"An' Pinkie made friends with that there Joker fellow," added AJ, "And from what she told us, he weren't no happy camper before she met him."
Clark looked thoughtfully to one side as though reconsidering something before responding, "Very well, you raise a good point. If anyone's going to give it to me straight, it's Bruce. I take it you can make your way back to my place."
Before they could respond, he was gone, and Rainbow and AJ were left sitting in the middle of an empty icy fortress their mouths open in preparation to ask for a ride.
Applejack's mouth hung open for a second as she stared at the blank spot where Clark had been a second before, then she stomped the ground and muttered an angry, "Ponyfeathers. Well, guess it's just you and me Rainbow."
With that, AJ hopped onto Rainbow's back and steadied herself with the scarf.
"Ahh, what are you doing?" asked Rainbow.
"I'm gonna need you to fly me back to the farm..." AJ said in a chagrined tone, "Pinkie helped me get her. I don't know how she did it, and I don't know how to get back. Now, come on, you've carried heavier than me before."
Rainbow's shoulders sagged as she groaned and then responded, "Twilight teleported me. I don't know how to get back either."
"Well that's just great," said AJ, throwing her hooves up in the air in exasperation, "Right fine mess we done got ourselves into, and I ain't even dressed for this kind of weather."
Rainbow sad down on the ice next to her friend and grinned sheepishly, "Heh, guess for once I took things a little slower and came prepared." With that, she put her hoof around her friend wrapped the scarf around both their necks and said, "Don't worry. Honest guy like that won't leave us here all alone. He'll be back for us. After all, we are his friends."
AJ grinned back, and put her hoof around her friend as well, "Loyal fella like him. You can count on it."
Unbenounced to both of them, Clark had suspected neither of them had actually made it there on their own steam and was hovering in an alcove behind them watching as they laughed together about their situation.
Shaking his head in bewilderment, Clark descended behind them and gave a short cough.
"Need a lift ladies?"
Clark stood in dumbfounded silence as he took in the room. Bruce and Dick were sitting at the coffee table playing chess, while a full-sized Celestia lay on the couch, her ethereal hair flowing gently behind her and a plate of half-eaten cake on the table next to her.
At last, Bruce broke the silence. "You have a question, Clark?"
Blinking and redirecting his focus back to Bruce, Clark spoke, "They want to help me, but I don't want them to get hurt. How did you deal with them?"
"He didn't," responded the white alicorn from the couch, "We dealt with him."
Without looking up from the chess board, Bruce sighed and nodded, "They do evoke extremely high levels of positivity. What I've seen them accomplish with the inmates at Arkham is nothing short of miraculous."
"The Magic of Friendship is a powerful thing indeed," she continued, taking another bite of cake, "And My Little Ponies are masters of its application."
"That may be true, but my enemies are powerful enough that your ponies might not be able to do anything if they try to hurt them, and I don't want to put them in harms way," responded Clark, directing his attention now to Celestia.
"The only ones in harms way will be your enemies," stated Bruce in his signature dead-pan.
"Bruce-"
'Don't believe me? Lock yourself in a room with that pink one for 5 minutes and then come talk to me."
Clark gave Bruce a pensive look, "What pink one?"
In the same tone, and without so much as a glance, Bruce responded, "The one standing on your head."
Clark reached up and, sure enough, there was another pink, poofy-maned figurine standing on top of his head. He picked it up, and looked at it. With a click, he turned to see Alfred holding open the hallway closet door.
Clark smiled and quirked an eyebrow at Bruce, who's attention hadn't left the chess game. His smile faded into an expression of confusion as he turned back to see Alfred hadn't moved from his position either. "You're serious?!"
"Five minutes," responded Bruce, expressionless.
Clark looked between the pink toy and the closet for a second before approaching Alfred. "Is he OK?"
"In my opinion, master Bruce's judgment hasn't failed yet, sir. But, ultimately the decision rests with you. I'm merely holding the door."
Now taking a more serious look at the unassuming, inch-&-a-half-tall, pink, plastic pony Clark took one last slow look at Alfred and stepped into the closet, the butler shutting the door after him.
"Five minutes, sir?"
"Five minutes," responded Bruce.
"20 seconds," cut in Celestia, almost smugly.
Bruce's head jerked around as he gave her a hard stare, "What did you do?!"
"Me? Nothing," responded the princess, taking an overly sincere, bite of cake, "But I cannot guarantee none of Twilight's friends haven't already started something."
Inside the closet, Clark raised his hand to look at the small toy.
"Well?" He said, somewhat cautiously, but with a touch of amusement in his voice, "What are you going to say or do to convince me I should let you try to- erhhm... 'reform' any of my enemies?"
The pink pony toy tilted its head to one side with a huge grin on its face and giggled at him, "We don't need your permission to help those in need. Heck, I help people who think they're just watching me ironically all the time. Besides, Discord got bored and left earlier today."
Clark's expression froze as he felt his pulse quicken. "I remember Applejack and Rainbow said he was capable of warping reality, but do you know who he's trying to help?!"
The miniature figurine went through some sort of ritual or pantomime, rubbing it's mane, flopping its ears and rotating in a circle a couple of times before answering his question, "Yeppers, Lexy Luthor."
Despite doubting that Lex would be able to harm some kind of reality-warping being, Clark still felt a shiver go up his spine. Something about the idea of these childish, brightly colored toys migrating around without him noticing made him nervous.
Tucking the pony into his pocket, next to the other two, he flung the door open (Alfred had his hand up as though he was expecting it) and zipped down the hallway to the front door. Almost missing a brief, "Gotcha" and growl from the living room.
As Superman glided over Metropolis towards Lexcorp Tower, he couldn't help but worry, what he might find once he got there. A destroyed office, Lex Luthor babbling on the ground, Luthor standing over some tiny pony-like creature dripping melting plastic, or... Luthor staring back at him with the scornful look of an adult who just caught their child not acting their age.
As he hovered up to Lex's office window, he could see the man inside, sitting at his desk. Then with a start Luthor jumped up and looked around, before turning to see Superman outside. For some reason he was smiling, as though he were actually glad to see him and hit the button to lower one of the glass panels between them.
"Superman!" Then he winced as though he'd only just heard himself. His shoulders slumped and he took a slow, measured breath before looking up and adopting a more forced smile, "The great Man of Steel. I know we've had a... 'strained' relationship at best, but I was giving it some thought recently and came to realization that we both wish for Metropolis to flourish. We may use different methods, but our goals are essentially the same."
As he approached the window, Superman saw Lex's eyes dart to one side as though surreptitiously checking behind him.
Lex extended his hand and whispered under his breath, "Desk lamp, dangerous, get rid of it!"
Superman narrowed his eyes and scanned Lex's desk. Indeed, there appeared to be a strange, misshapen lamp on the desk. A snakelike creature, with mismatched animal body parts, clutching a light bulb in one outstretched hand and grinning like a lunatic.
But before he could say anything, Superman looked back to see Luthor backing away, a shocked look on his face.
"No!" He said, a furious expression replacing the previous as he pointed accusingly at Superman, "You're in league with them! YOU CAUSED THIS?!"
Feeling something on both shoulders, Superman glanced to each side and saw AJ tipping her hat to Luthor on his right shoulder, and Rainbow smirking on his left.
"Luthor-" He tried to say, floating forward with his hands up in a placative gesture.
"It all fits!" Yelled Luthor, "When you failed to convert me like you did this city's sycophantic Superman worshipers, you decided to appeal to some other aliens."
Backing up to the desk, Lex reached behind and grabbed the lamp in one hand, "I'M NOT BEATEN YET!" And with that he hurled the lamp towards the window.
Unfortunately for Luthor, the lamp barely left his hand, before its tail coiled around his wrist and then down his arm. As Superman watched, the lamp expanded to just short the size of a human as its body slithered around Luthor, immobilizing him as the creature rubbed the bridge of its nose with one hand.
"How're you handlin' him Discord?" Shouted AJ from Superman's shoulder.
"I thought I left you all back at the farm," whispered Superman to the two ponies on his shoulders.
"Pretty sure he brought us here to make a point," said Rainbow, pointing a hoof at the creature.
"Of course I did," replied the creature, waving his hand at Luthor, "I was trying to show my friend here you're all in the same boat. But as you can clearly see, despite his intelligence, he has the emotional maturity of a 4-year-old."
"Mrrffg," growled Luthor, struggling to say something through the creature's tail that was stuffed into his mouth.
"If he doesn't behave himself, I just might have to pull out the big guns..."
"Big guns?" said Superman, as Luthor quit struggling with a wary glance between the alien outside and the alien inside his office.
"Of course," continued Discord, "My good friend Starlight said it works wonders for airing one's aggravations out in the open and seeing things from all parties' points of view."
"Would it hurt him?" asked Superman, his arms crossed as he gave a hard stare at the draconequus.
"Hurt?! Why Superman, you task me. I'll have you know I'm reformed. I would never hurt a prospective new friend," Discord patted Luthor on the shoulder, as he glared back, "No, I am referring to the fabled, the legendary, never fails, drum roll please..."
Rainbow tapped her hooves rapidly on Superman's shoulder.
"Buddy Road Trip!"
Superman, shook his head and blinked in confusion at the mad suggestion of the creature, as Luthor froze, eyes wide in shock and terror.
"You're kidding, right?" He said, tilting his head slightly, as Luthor glanced hopefully towards his one lifeline.
"Most certainly not! Since Fluttershy's friendship and forgiveness, I never joke about friendship. What do you say baldy, care for a friendship field-trip?"
Luthor shook his head and tried to let out some sort of muffled negative assertion, but Discord wasn't having any of it.
"Believe you me, you'll be much better off for it. Adventure's good for the soul, and I'll be there every step of the way with just a little bit of Murphy's Law to keep things interesting and moving forward. TO THE PORTAL!"
And with that Discord unwrapped his body, sending Luthor spinning into a swirling magic portal, screaming one word as he fell, "SUPERMAN!"
"Start the theme music and let the adventure begin!" And with that Discord disappeared into the portal as well followed by epic disembodied adventure music.
After they had vanished Superman felt the seriousness of the situation hit home.
"You call this 'reformation'?!" He said, taking the ponies from his shoulders and holding them up in front of him.
"Feller, what did yer parents do when you did something bad as a kid," asked Applejack, giving him a raised eyebrow.
"Well, I'm afraid they couldn't do too much, but they did try to punish me so I wouldn't do it again."
"They gave you a taste of reality, helped you get your head on straight. That's what Discord's doin'. Takin' him out of his comfort zone and introducin' him to one of them there exciting incidents."
"I think you mean, inciting incident," corrected Rainbow.
"Whatever it is, this is the part where that feller gets to go on a good ol' fashioned adventure with someone to help color parts in without the dark shades of his heart gunkin' everything up."
"But... against his will-"
"You catch bad guys and put them in prison against their will," chimed in Rainbow, "And you really think he wouldn't be happier with a little friendship brightening up his life?"
Superman was getting more confused by the moment. He was pretty sure, they'd just done something illegal, but the ponies seemed to be raising good points.
"OK, two questions."
"Shoot."
"How do you know your friend can help Luthor? And what if he doesn't?"
"Discord's a tricky feller, but I gotta admit he's smart as a whip and knows how to handle himself. Plus he's a friend."
"Yeah, and I'd count on him just as I'd count on Applejack to get the job done."
"But someone's going to notice Luthor's mis-"
With that a duplicate Discord poofed into existence, pulled his hair back to reveal a bald scalp with two horns sticking out of it and said into the intercom, in a perfect impression of Luthor's voice, "Mercy, a situation has arisen. I do not wish to be disturbed until I notify you otherwise. Understood?"
"Certainly Mr. Luthor."
"Trust us now?" Said Rainbow, smirking once again at the Man of Steel.
"I'm going to regret this..."
"Hah, not if we have any say about it," chuckled AJ.