To Cure Insanity Please Insert MORE Ponies

by No One and Nobody


Chapter 3: In The Time Between Time

Chapter 3: In The Time Between Time

Lighting flashed in the sky as Luthor looked up then down at his watch.

"Well? Where is it?" He said aloud, 3, 2, 1...

Glancing up at the hole in the cloud layer, he saw the ship appear in a flash of light.

Just as I remember it, he thought to himself. He was so pleased that he almost forgot to wait for the hologram to appear before approaching.

"Welcome to Earth. I'm Lex Luthor, the one who intercepted your transmissions."

"I am pleased to make contact with you Lex Luthor," said Brainiac, introducing himself.

I'm sure you are, my uninformed friend, Luthor grinned inwardly, imagining his future uses for the oblivious computer.

"I presume you speak for your planet?" The image continued.

"For all intents and purposes. In any event, I know what you want, and as a show of my friendship I offer you this..." Lex held out the small gift, "A disc, containing basic information about Earth and its history. A kind of planetary primer."

And more, he continued to himself.

The image flashed away and a hovering chair descended from the ship.

Can't act too familiar with his technology, mused Luthor as he gingerly sat down and was whisked into the waiting craft, Especially when I have him exactly where I want him.


As the rockets roared below him, Lex reconsidered getting his hands "dirty" more often. He'd elected to position the data transfer closer to Brainiac's ship than last time and had covertly smuggled in the latest line in top-secret Lexcorp battle-tech: 4 Lexoskel 8000 Battle Suits, upgraded with Metalloid compounds and tactical guidance systems from his Police Battle Suit prototype.

Two of the suits were piloted by ex-military Lexcorp employees while his loyal bodyguard, Mercy, flew the third. Everyone thought they were in serious trouble with Brainiac trying to access his military network.

Good thing those infinity loop syntax's I hid in my network matrix are bogging down his systems. It could be hours till he actually accesses something dangerous.

"On my mark!" Mercy commanded as the Sky Sentry below them targeted the ship. She and the other two held back while Lex flew on.

He inhaled and braced for impact. A split second before he made contact however, he slammed his fist into the field, syncing the EMP pulse with the ship's energy field before detonation. As the field collapsed, his suit locked up and he plummeted towards the ground.

"FIRE!" Shouted Mercy, though Lex's suit coms were still rebooting, he could see the blast arc past him from the Sentry and blow a hole in the ship.

...Systems online...Boosters re-engaged...

And Mercy has already cleared the way, he thought as he saw the other three suits fly through the hole, lasers ready for Brainiac's internal defenses, While I get to show off my brilliance...

Lex couldn't help but throw a salute in blatant showmanship to his ground forces before entering the ship and rejoining the group. So that's what it feels like.

After making their way to the ship's bridge, Lex commanded the two soldiers to guard the door while he and Mercy read Brainiac his rights.

With that, Luthor engaged the suit's plasma cutters and started carving through the door like soft butter.

Showtime...

Above them Brainiac sat, every appendage plugged into a data-port, apparently helpless to stop them.

3...2...1... "Mercy, activate your repulser field!"

Restraints shot out from the walls and attempted to latch around the suits. However, while Luther's repulser field blocked his set. Mercy failed to activate hers in time.

Such a shame... He thought as electricity surged through the restraints and his body guard was rendered unconscious, "IT'S YOU AND ME BRAINIAC!"

Just the way I planned it.

"As commendable as your firepower may be, your attempts are still futile Luthor."

"That's what you think Kryptonian piece of junk," replied Lex, removing his helmet, "Luthor is always prepared. Now, if you would kindly surrender..."

Brainiac's exoskeleton began to spark and spasm as the computer let out an inhuman scream.

"Lexcorp would like to thank you for your generous donation," gloated Luthor, as he flew up next to Brainiac, "I installed a little subroutine in that friendly disc of data, hidden and completely undeniable to your systems. Unfortunately for you, I am far more familiar with your technology than you originally thought. That is why I have no need for all of this," Luthor gestured around at the ship, "One small piece of you will suffice. I look forward to our continued partnership, my new friend."

With that, Luthor removed a single chip from a bank inside Brainiac's skull and slipped it into a hidden compartment in his suit.

BOOM!

Lex looked around nonchalantly as the room began to detonate around him.

"That's my cue. Time to get in character."

Half of his suit, all the unnecessary components, began to melt as the suit auto-applied some blood, oil stains, and fake bruises to his face. Then, picking up Mercy in his arms, he charged the door yelling, "MOVE! IT'S GOING TO BLOW!"


After destroying the alien's ship and "saving the world", Luthor was hailed as a hero. With the chip and his preexisting knowledge of Brainiac's systems, piecing together the wreckage into marketable technology was child's play and pretty soon Metropolis, and thereby Lexcorp, boasted the largest economy on the planet.

Luthor accepted the hero worship from the public with his stoical modesty for a time, and even began to underplay his contribution to the battle at events held in his honor. But before too long, his laurels had sunk down around his neck and he was searching for another accomplishment to bolster his interest again.

"Mercy..."

"Yes Lex?"

Lex sat at his desk, his fingers steepled before him. A group of Generals had just left his new office, digital hard-light holograms had supplanted the previous décor. The only real object in the room, besides Mercy and himself, was the burned out casing of Brainiac's skull behind him, a memento and symbol of Lexcorp's technological prominence.

Mercy stared at him, waiting. Ever since he'd carried her to safety aboard Brainiac's ship, she'd been even more devoted to him.

"As loath as I would be to leave my new office. What would you say if I announced my bid for the presidency?"

Mercy's unflappable nature remained though she allowed herself a pleased smile.

"I'd say, it's high time the world realizes what Metropolis already knows."


Luthor's candidacy was a supreme success. Despite several failed mudslinging attempts by the opposing party, he won in a landslide victory. Over the next year or so, under his guidance, the nation's economy soared to new heights.

Meanwhile, Luthor left Mercy in charge of Lexcorp. Despite the apparent trust he had in her, Lex knew that the projects already in the pipeline were all he needed to cement his role in history, whether the American public knew it or not.

First came several small systems designed to increase work productivity; despite their almost unusable complexity, soon every company needed a Lexiplex, and the jobs market was screaming for brilliant people. Very few were capable of answering the call.

Then an assortment of faster more powerful vehicles, rocketed onto the highways and work areas. Injuries accompanied the reckless mishandling of the vehicles and the public clamored for increased safety.

Then came the final straw. A brilliant engineer managed to complete one of Lex's unfinished projects, and the Lexcorp MasterTech was launched. The public never knew that Lex had put the finishing touches on the system before he was elected. They couldn't have known Lex had planned this from the beginning and they had no idea what was about to hit them.

On the outside the system was sold as the ultimate in self-improvement. A microchip was injected just below the base of the skull and above the spinal column to increase mental acuity, focus, memory and improve the senses. Months later the bracelets were released as well to boost human physical ability. Practically overnight, the superhuman was born.

At first only a few could afford the technology, but as the numbers grew, so did issues.

Several arguments were brought up, especially when the Olympics rolled around. However, Lexcorp had sold the system under the heading The next step in human evolution! and people were already complaining that watching normal people was "boring".

Rules were changed, MasterTech-less people soon found themselves ostracized from society, unable to keep up with "Maxed" humans. Protests began and Luthor began his third term in office with the promise that the Lexcorp MasterTech would become a human right.

War, famine, poverty and theft soon became things of the past as people surrendered to "the system's flow" and shepherded in the future like the obedient sheep they had become. A few people tried, too late, to warn everyone. But their voices were strangely muted both virtually and in person, till they were forgotten and ignored like the background static they'd become.

Lex relaxed in his chair, the oval office clean and streamlined for maximum efficiency. As he watched the White House staff go about their chores he couldn't help but reminisce about the day he had first started up the MasterTech Prototype.

"Brainiac systems online. How may we serve you Luthor?"

One year later, the Nations of the World combined under one flag, the US Presidency became the top position in the new order, the global hold of the MasterTech hive-mind was completely unbreakable...

And Lex was bored out of his mind.


He couldn't tell whether it was the heat from the artificial sun or the surging turmoil inside his head, but Lex had a raging headache. The peaceful environment did nothing to sooth his throbbing skull.

It had been several months now since he'd ushered in the new age. He had, of course, chosen to remain MasterTech free, not that any of those who worked under him cared. Lex was in charge.

The dark glasses didn't seem to dull the pain, merely put pressure on his temples. Fed up, he ripped them off and threw them into the pool. Sitting up, he massaged his forehead as Mercy approached from where she'd been standing.

"Is everything all right sir?"

"My name is Lex."

"Is that what you wish me to call you?"

"Yes, it's what I wish. It's what you've always called me!"

She gave a quick nod of acknowledgment.

"Do you wish anything else, Lex?"

There was a moment of silence before Lex answered, "Yes... Mercy, do something... Unexpected."

Mercy did a back flip, rotated counterclockwise twice and saluted.

"Now do so... without me telling you to."

"Certainly, when would you like me to?"

He groaned and held his head in one hand.

"Never mind, just leave me alone for awhile. I need to think."

Without another word, Mercy left the room and Luthor was all alone.

"Cancel vacation," Luthor ordered and the hard-light simulation of a sun-kissed lagoon reverted to the cold, clean interior of his old office.

He sat in his chair and stared at the desk in front of him. Plans for an empire danced in his mind, slowly melting into the drab background of his his office. Everyone loved him; they had to. His empire was perfect; it had to be. His name would go down in history; a history only he cared about. His dream had arrived. It had been delivered on a silver platter. It was perfect in every way, not one thing could possibly be better...

And it was a living nightmare!

Computer, lamp, pad, everything was swept off onto the floor. The desk was flipped and he kicked the trashcan to the wall, papers flying everywhere.

But not the paper I need.

There was nothing and no one to test himself on. Nothing to push against. He was a bulldozer on a perfectly level plane of infinite size. Superman had been an obstacle, something in his way. But now that he had conquered everything and had every means at his disposal to push over that obstacle, it was the one thing he was missing. And there was no way back.

He had torn up his one ticket home, the only escape to this paradise of a prison he had asked for. No purpose, no future... no escape.

Or was there?

Grabbing a piece of paper and pen from the floor, he lifted the desk up and righted it to provide a writing surface. Thankfully, his memory was still as perfect as ever and he was able to transcribe, word for word, the message he had torn up so long ago.

Flipping the page over he drew a line and on it wrote one word.

"HELP!"

He dropped the pen on the ground, centered the note on his desk and stepped back to look around.

Nothing happened.

He scanned every dark corner of the room, straining to see even the smallest glimpse of that strange creature that had put him here, before sitting down in his chair and closing his eyes in surrender.

But not even a shadow flickered in the dead air of his office. While the world carried on, "lifeless" outside, he was stuck, helpless and alone. The great Lex Luthor, trapped in the solitary confinement of a living simulated world, death by living.

"You rang?"

Lex's eyes flew open and he tried to get up out of his chair, only to find that the snake-like body of the creature, who's face hovered upside down in front of him, was wrapped around him, holding him in the chair.

"You tricked me!"

The creature's body extended even more as it righted itself and stared levelly at him, "Tsk-tsk-tsk, we're both intelligent here Luthor. Let's not go pointing fingers. You asked for a world without superhumans and that's precisely what I gave you."

"Yes, but you didn't tell me how boring it would be without-"

"Friends?"

"A challenge."

The creature facepalmed and rubbed its eyes. Then it looked up and, sighing, said, "Oh well, I guess it's at least a little progress."

"Put everything back how it used to be, as a creature of chaos I can see that you are even more uncomfortable here than I am."

Discord looked around at the clean surroundings of the drab, spotless office and felt a shiver go down his spine.

"Be that as it may, if I put everything back the way it was before, playing with the set of rules you're playing by, you'll just end up "winning" again. This is still about you're hated, heroic other-half."

"This isn't about him! It's about my sanity-"

"What did I say about trying to be smart?" The tail tightened around Lex, cutting him off, "Boredom isn't insanity. If it were I'd be every flavor of crazy under the sun after those pretty pony princesses, their predestined replacement and her perfectly predictable pals minus one positive example of simple perfection petrified me and my previously pesky disposition."

"Save me your petty..." Lex stopped as he realized the creature was getting to him.

"Platitudes?" It finished for him, "Putting my plaguy past aside for the much more pleasant present, the point is... I sympathize a little for you. I really do. You see, I used to be the bad guy too once. I simply had no idea what I was missing. While you're envious of that superhuman alien, I started out with PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER!"

The room seemed to shrink, filled up with the creature and its massive voice, before rebounding like a rubber ball back to reality.

"If I could take myself out of the equation long enough to see what friendship has to offer, surely you could at least try it."

Adopting a faux smile, Lex decided to play along, "You mean, make friends with Superman. I hadn't actually considered that. The possibilities are... intriguing, to say the least. Tell you what, you put everything back the way it was before, and I'll consider your "friend" suggestion."

Mirroring Lex's look with an equally fake "surprised/delighted" expression, Discord blinked to reveal two cassette reals slowly rotating clockwise to give the impression he was rolling his eyes.

"All this "world" never was to begin with. Now hold on to your hat's and glasses, it's time to kick things into reverse."

There was an audible click as the creature pressed a button on the side of its head and the world sprang to life around them. Or should I say 'reversed' around them.

Lex found himself flying backwards through time, places, faces and things vanishing into the distance as he 'un-lived' the past several years, all the way to the point where it had all started. All the while the high pitched sounds of life in reverse at a hundred miles per hour issued from the speaker in the creature's mouth.

"...Is that so? Very well then. Your wish is my command."

The creature raised its hand, but didn't snap its fingers this time.

"We're back where we started, pre- the great superhero envanishment. Oh, and speak of the angel himself..."

The creature slithered and shrank back into itself until all that remained was a very abnormal-looking lamp, as Luthor turned around to greet who he was hoping was floating outside his window.

For once he didn't need to fake a smile at the sight of the Man of Steel.