//------------------------------//
// Chapter 1: New Beginnings 
// Story: To Cure Insanity Please Insert MORE Ponies 
// by No One and Nobody 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 1: New Beginnings


The sun played over the fields of fresh grass and flowers, so clean Croc felt like he was sitting on top of a freshly iced cake. The yellow mare beside him looked up at the wafting clouds, a butterfly resting on her nose.

Some time last night a fancy, hoity-toity type had stopped by and built a door in the wall of Arkham to let the prisoners out. He remembered Nygma pushing the bars aside from his and Croc's cells, like some complicated stick puzzle, stepping outside again and the warmth of the sun on his dry crusty skin.

"What are you gonna call 'er?" He asked Shy, indicating the butterfly.

"Oh, she already has a name," she replied, smiling as the blue and green insect took flight, "Her name was Roberta."

Despite Fluttershy's smile, Croc didn't feel comfortable letting the butterfly leave for some reason.

"Where's she going?" He asked.

"She told me, that on such a nice day like this, it would be a shame to keep all her beauty to herself. She's going to carry pollen to all the other flowers and let everyone else see her colors. Isn't that lovely?"

As the butterfly flew off, Croc felt that the color around him had diminished in some small way, like the light at start of a tunnel behind him. Then he remembered who he was sitting next to and a smile leapt back onto his face.

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

Croc gave her a comforting smile and turned to give her a hug.

"S'long as you're here Shy, everything's perfect."

Out of the corner of his eye, Croc saw her smile fade as he wrapped his arms around her and through her as she vanished like the clouds above. Off balance, he continued to roll over and landed with a grunt on the floor of his cell back in Arkham.

He looked around at the dark (though less dingy since Shy showed up) confines of his surroundings and groaned.

"You were having the dream again?" She asked.

"Yeah," replied Croc, pushing himself off the ground and back onto his cot. He scratched his head and yawned, "You know, I didn't really dream about fields of flowers and nature until you showed up."

"What did you dream about before?"

Dark images of violence, avarice and worse flashed through his mind. The fire of revenge lovingly stoked for years at last quenched by the cries of those he would have previously stepped on to achieve his goals. Croc shuddered.

Even though she was sitting in the middle of the room, facing the cell door, Shy acted as though she could feel him wince and didn't press him for details.

A shaft of sunlight caught the pink of her tail and Croc's attention.

"Why are you sitting over there?"

Her hair dropped down over her face as it tipped down and her wings drooped. Her voice was a whisper, and Croc had to step forward to hear better.

"...picking us up... We're... leaving... today. I'm sorry."

Croc felt the floor drop out from underneath him as the entire room started dragging him down into the depths of Arkham, like an anchor around his neck, while the pink and yellow mare stayed perched on the glass ceiling overhead. He couldn't breath. It felt like the Batman was sitting on his chest, squeezing his heart in his hands with a dark grin on his face. The fire of fury leapt to life within him once again and he reached out to grasp the one good thing life had ever given him in his hand.

His clasping fingers relaxed before he could reach her as he saw her shoulders shaking and the roaring in his ears faded into the sound of her soft sobbing.

She doesn't want to leave! She will... miss... me. The thought, like a single beautiful tone, bounced into his mind and echoed off the walls like the rays of sunlight filling his cell.

Without another thought, Croc's claw-like fingers gently parted her hair and he drew her into his embrace, replicating what she had done to him so many times before.

Her wings wrapped around him as she rested her head on his shoulder and sniffed back more tears.

"It's OK Shy. I know you'll miss me. I'll miss you too. But you can't stay cooped up here forever. It's a beautiful day, and you should go share your colors with the world."

Shy pulled back and gave him an odd look, "What?"

"Don't worry about me," replied Croc, "I'm a survivor, always have been. But, thanks to you, I finally have something worth surviving for. Go and spread the Friendship you showed me. I'll be right here."

Croc patted her chest, surprised to feel the heart beneath beating through the soft fur. Then, surprising himself again, he reached up and booped her on the nose.

"Give 'em The Stare for me."

Shy blinked cross-eyed at him, then she smiled and went in for another hug, "I'm gonna miss you, you big softy."

The hug shrank, and shrank until Croc was left holding a little yellow and pink toy in his hands.

There was a soft knock on his cell door and he opened his hands to reveal the empty remains of a memory.

Then a quiet voice whispered in his ear, "Don't worry, you'll see me again. I promise."





Nygma sniffed and wrinkled his nose, almost like he was about to sneeze, but that wasn't what he was trying to hold in.

"I doesn't make sense," he said for the umpteenth time.

"Aurrgh," replied the purple alicorn, sitting in the middle of his cell, "It makes perfect sense. I thought you were a genius. How many times do I have to explain it to you?"

But he interrupted her this time, "Not your leaving... My reaction to your leaving. All you've done since you got here, is annoy me."

She rolled her eyes.

"You may say you've taught me these 'lessons of friendship' but I think we both know who won in the end." He sat with his arms crossed, eyes staring at the left wall of his cell, away from Twilight.

Twilight let out a sigh and turned back towards the door, replying in a mock serious voice, "Looks like you are quite literally 'to smart for your own good'."

His shoulders slumped and he uncrossed his arms to massage his wrists as his gaze moved to the floor.

After a minute or two:

"It doesn't make sense."

This time Twilight remained silent.

"Why does it have to hurt so much?"

When Nygma finally looked up he saw Twilight standing there, her head cocked to one side, offering her right front hoof to him.

"Hugging helps."





*WHAM* *BAM*

Hoof met fist as Rainbow and Bane bid each other farewell. Top and bottom to bottom and top, ending with a fist to hoof bump.

*SMACK*

"Not bad dude," she said, hovering in mid air, "Keep the friendship PUMPED and FLOWING! And remember, WHO'S AWESOME?!"

Bane grinned and shouted back, "YOU ARE AWESOME!"

Flying in close, Rainbow gave him a hug and replied in a gentler tone, "No, dude... You are awesome," before backing up and socking him in the shoulder, "AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!"





The sound of music cut through the morning air as Harley groaned and rolled over on her cot. However, her cellmate was far too awake to let her continue sleeping and started tap dancing next to her bed.

"Good mornin', good mornin', we've gabbed the whole night through. Good mornin', good mornin', to you."

"Phooey on the morning and phooey on you," she retorted, her eyes clenched shut, "It was your fault in the first place."

"Hey, you can't stop a pony with a song in his heart," said the hyper brown & orange blur, ignoring the fact that Harley had been the one demanding encores, "Besides, you've gotta get up today, I've got news."

"We're breaking out?"

"Nope."

"You're shutting up?"

"Try again."

"Augghh. Just go bug someone else, I'm tryin' to get some shut-eye."

"Well then, have I got some great news for you. I'm leaving."

Harley's eyes flew open and she bolted up in bed to stare at Cheese Sandwich for several seconds in shock. Then she started bawling.

"Correction, bad news then?"

"TERRIBLE NEWS!"

"OK, but just think about it. I'll be out of your hair and annoying someone else. Right?"

Harley increased her volume.

"Hmmm, wait! Just think about all the joy I'll be bringing others just like you!"

Her volume diminished slightly and between sobs she said, "But- I- called you a-a- nuisance!"

"Yeah, but this nuisance is going to bring joy to the joyless, hope to the hopeless, and happiness to the happiness-less."

"Whether they want it or not?"

Cheese smiled at her, "Did you want it?"

"Of course!" Replied Harley, "I just... didn't know how to get it..."

"That's because you were going about it the wrong way."

Harley looked pensive for a moment before she asked, "Then what's the right way to go? What should I do?"

"How about you start by realizing your happiness isn't tied to a pony, I just helped bring it out, and letting me go spread joy, friendship-"

"And parties?"

"You took the words right out of my mouth. -will help bring you a little happiness as well. And don't worry, we've still got plans for you."

Harley sniffed and wiped her eyes, "Plans?"

"Yes. Plans." Cheese rubbed his hooves together with a mock-evil grin.

"Well, I guess that's OK then. Hey Red, wanna hang out today?"

"Looks like she's got it in the bag. Boneless, my job here is done."





"I don't want you to go. The fear will return!"

Crane sat on his bed, hugging his knees to his chest. Applejack sat next to him, her hoof on his shoulder.

"Listen here sugarcube, I think yer makin' a mountain out'a a molehill-" started AJ, before he cut her off.

"You don't know what the nights here are like. The shadows. The sounds... The Darkness! It's like a living thing at Arkham. It eats you alive, every night."

"I ain't havin' that ya hear? It's high time ya'll take a good honest look at what yer 'a feared of and show it who's boss. Besides, ya'll ain't alone no more. Behind this here wall's a friend," AJ bucked the right side of his cell and called out, "AIN'T THAT RIGHT?"

From the other side of the wall, Bane pounded and called back, "EEYEAH!"

"Now, I'm headin' out here pretty soon, not just 'cause I got a job to do, but also 'cause I know you can handle it on yer own. Now chin up fella. Remember what I taught ya?"

"Lift with the legs, not with your back."

Applejack rolled her eyes and nodded, "Well ya, but what else?"

"Family first."

"And..."

"Don't talk with your mouth full-"

"Honesty is the best policy!" said Applejack, taking Crane's face in both hooves to stop him before he tried rattling off another simple truth she'd hammered into his head over the past few days, "So be honest, not just with others, but especially with yourself. Now look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Are you gonna be OK if I head out to help some other fella in need?"

Crane tried looking every way but into those green eyes. As simple as a sapling, and as deep as the most mysterious forest. Soft and soothing as the wind in the breeze, but as hard as a hickory.

"I- I think-"

"You think?"

"Ye- Yes. YES! I CAN DO IT! You were right, I'll be fine."

"That's the ticket sugarcube!" With that, AJ gave Crane one last hug and walked over to the window in his cell door. Jumping up and grabbing onto the bars she started to shrink, her body and torso minimizing until she was small enough to fit through the window. She hauled herself up and stood there on the ridge of the door, looking out into the hallway, waiting.

Crane looked up onto the corner of his cell. He'd heard something while he was saying goodbye to Applejack and now he stood up and walked over to see what it was.

A bat had taken roost there during the night.

The transparent leathery wings, and claws transfixed him until the animal gave a jerking movement and he stumbled away from it. He tripped on his legs and fell backward onto the floor.

In the split second before he landed, Crane remembered something AJ had shown him and, bending at the waste, he rolled on his back without hurting himself. Sitting up he looked at the dark corner that seemed to hold all the fear in the room... squared his shoulders... and took a deep breath.

AJ took one last look behind her and smiled as she saw Crane setting the small bat free out the window of his cell.





"You're sure there's nothing I could do that would make you want to stay," said Poison Ivy, lying on her bed. She'd already tried flirting, pouting and even considered some nasty tricks. But Treehugger, as if reading her mind, had told her that wouldn't work.

"Sorry," she replied, taking one last whiff of her favorite flower in the small garden, "But you can't keep me tied down in one spot. I'm free like the wind in the trees."

From across the hallway, Harley was trying to get their attention. Ivy moaned.

"HARLEY! -" she started to say, before Treehugger cut in.

"Not to harsh your vibe but, you need to mellow out. She's just trying to be friendly."

"I know, but have you met her? She's psychotic! I mean, I can at least try to wrap the Batman around my finger, but nothing works with her!"

"Have you tried being friendly back?"

"How can I be friends with someone like that?!" Hissed Poison Ivy.

For some reason Treehugger had the biggest grin on her muzzle and Ivy had the feeling she was in for another 'pony-themed life lesson'.

"A friend of mine once ripped a hole in the fabric of spacetime and tried throwing me into a whole 'nother reality."

Ivy stared at her, not sure if the pony was serious or had smelled too many of her flowers.

After a few seconds she decided she needed some prompting, "And...?"

The pony didn't say anything, her eyes were closed like she was asleep, but Ivy was certain the story couldn't end there.

"Then what happened?"

"Hmm?" Treehugger nodded like she just woke up from a doze and continued, "Oh, we hugged it out and had tea afterwards. Fluttershy has some far-out friends."

"I see..."

"Friends, and life are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. So just roll with it and see where the road takes you. Later..."

Treehugger turned to go, and Ivy couldn't stop herself. Next thing she knew she was hugging the little green pony like they were old friends.





Derpy tilted her head to one side and gave Clayface a mournful look as the clay flowed around her, pinning her in his grasp.

"What's the matter?"

He carefully tightened his grip on her, despite her apparent disinterest in escaping, and pulled her closer.

"When Daggett gave me the stuff to mold my face, I thought everything was going to be fine. But it was just a tool to chain me up, make me his servant. But after his goons failed to kill me with a gallon of the stuff and I learned I could shape-shift with just a thought, I thought I could take my revenge and reclaim my old life. Too bad Batman came after me. But since you came, I haven't felt like a freak anymore. And this time... I'm not letting my one good chance squeeze through my fingers!"

"So you believe I want to help you and be your friend?" she said, with a smile.

"Yes, I do. Why aren't you happy? I'm not letting you go. We can stay together. Friends, forever." He tried to smile, but despite the malleability of his face, it still looked forced.

"Well, since you trust that I like you and don't want to hurt you. Why won't you listen to me?"

"Because I know what you're going to say. That it's the right thing. That letting you go will make me happy. But I can't believe that. You understand? I can't! LOOK AT ME!"

The clay flowed like water, bringing the gray mare up close to the grainy, brown sludge-like face, crooked teeth jutting out like the broken boards from a dilapidated shack on the beach.

Derpy remained as calm as the ocean, gently washing away at that beach. Her eyes crossed vertically looking up and down the mound of monster before her and then recrossed themselves the other way.

"You seem to have a pretty bad track record of making decisions. How about a second opinion? I promise I won't try to escape..."

Clayface reformed himself back onto his bed and Derpy sat down on his knee, a quick wince passing over his face.

"What got you interested in acting?"

Clayface gave her a quizzical look, "I had it all, fame, fans and a sweet paycheck."

"That's what kept you employed," Derpy interrupted, "I asked you what first interested you. When was the first time you thought you wanted to become an actor?"

Rarely did Clayface think about his past. But for this mare, the perfect combination of friend, confidante, mother figure and quirky-looking pony, he tried. His mind wandered back to the days when a young Matthew Hagen had tried out for the lead character in his middle school play. He hadn't gotten the main part, but he had received a speaking role with some of the best lines in the story.

"There was this girl I knew when I was a kid. I think I had a crush on her."

"Go on."

He reminisced on practicing the part, throwing all he could into the performance until the big night.

"And did you catch her eye?"

Hagen's gaze was a million miles away, reliving that night that he had seen something in the girl's eyes. Neither love, not affection but enthrallment. He'd done more than capture her attention. He'd inspired her!

"And that's when I decided I wanted to become an actor."

"Not for fame, fortune or even popularity, you wanted to affect people on a deeper level. You wanted to inspire and uplift them. To make them forget, if just for a minute, who they were on the outside and judge a character, a person by what's on the inside."

"Yeah..."

"Now imagine how that person I could help must be feeling right now. Alone, unloved, unlikable, abnormal, weird..."

A moment of silence hung in the air as Hagen sat there, staring at the door to his cell until, at last, he spoke.

"You said you're a mail-mare?"

"Yes."

"Then if I let you out of here, you take them this message. They're not a freak. And if I can survive in here-"

He opened his hand toward his cell, then stopped and, closing his hand, held it to his chest.

"Then they can survive out there. Will you tell them that?"

"Mail mare, Ditzy 'Derpy' Doo, reporting for duty sir! Through the rain and the snow and the heat, nothing shall stop me from delivering this message of friendship!"

He grinned and returned the salute. Then he stood up and gave her one last hug. As she sank into his warm embrace, he could feel her growing smaller and smaller, till she popped out of existence right next to his heart and left him alone in the cell.

He sat back down on his cot and sighed. Then he felt something stuck to the bottom of his foot and, reaching down, he picked up the letter she had left for him.

As he opened the letter and looked inside, what was written there made his day.

A couple tears hung on the edge of his vision, absorbed almost the second they touched his cheeks.





"If you're going, then the next person must be an even bigger piece of work than I was." 

The small cardboard figure hopping three spaces on the board.

"You have no idea."

Pinkie, wiggled and wobbled as she shook the dice in her hooves.

"Will you be OK?"

"What do you think?"

The thin figure looked up from the game of Candyland and gave her a big, grateful smile.

"They haven't got a chance."





"It's such a shame you must leave now," said Penguin as he knelt before the unicorn to let her adjust his new suite, "I must say, I have become quite fond of you these few days we've had together."

After straightening his bow tie, Rarity pulled back and smiled at him, "I will miss you as well Mr. Cobblepot, but there are still those out there who require some instruction in class and dignity."

The Penguin stood up and gave a fake cough to try explaining pulling out his handkerchief, blowing his nose and wiping his eyes.

"Are you OK, darling?"

"It's nothing, merely something in my eye. After all, a gentleman does not cry."

Rarity gave him a soft look before pulling a beautiful silk hat out from behind her and holding it out to him, "A gentleman does whatever it takes to show their friends how much they appreciate them, and a lady does the same."

Penguin took the hat in his hands like it was made of solid gold and, fighting back tears, placed it on his head before giving Rarity an inquiring look.

"Eh-hmm, How-," He sniffed and blinked before continuing, "How do I look?"

"Simply smashing darling. A gentleman, through and through."

The Penguin stood there for a moment, the flapping of his doves' wings the only sound, before he let go of his cane and dropped down onto his knees to wrap Rarity in a tight embrace. Tears filled the handkerchief which Rarity quickly levitated around behind her to dab at his face.





"Know that it is time for me to leave. But thou needst have no fear. For I shall walk beside thee in thy sleep, a guardian of your dreams, so long as thou promise to do all in thy power to make thine dreams a reality."

"Thanks," he returned, tears ran down both of his cheeks even though both halves of his face shone with a grateful smile, "Here's a little token of my appreciation... and the first step towards keeping my promise."

Luna took the offered coin with reverence and then reached out her hooves for one last hug.





For the past half hour of so, half-inch-high ponies had been filing into the manor kitchen as Alfred cooked, Octavia played her cello and both of them tried to ignore what they knew was coming.

At last, with the sound of a slamming door, the Pink pony bounced in and proclaimed, "That's all folks."

Alfred had just finished washing his hands and was drying them as Octavia began putting away her cello.

"Must you leave so soon Miss Octavia?" he asked, setting the dish towel by the edge of the sink and walking over to the kitchen island she was standing on.

"It was an honor to play for you, Mr. Pennyworth." The latches on her case snapped shut and they were left standing there. Silence reverberating off the marble counters, tile floor and walnut cabinets as the pony and butler tried avoiding the inevitable.

At last, Alfred opened his mouth.

"HEY OCTI! WHAT'S WITH THE HOLD-UP?"

Alfred grimaced as Octavia answered her blue-haired companion, "I'm saying goodbye Vinyl. Considering how much you contributed to this escapade, I'd suggest you try some tact."

There was the muffled sound of a snort followed by, "OK, but don't take too long. Pinkie poked a hole in the box and I can't wait to see what it's like to fly."

Octavia rolled her eyes and whispered to Alfred, "She's afraid of heights."

"As commendable as your loyalty is, I must ask. Why do you continue to stick with that... individual?" Alfred tried to be polite and, through years of experience, managed to keep the trouble Vinyl had caused over the past few days out of his expression.

Octavia sighed and picked up her cello case.

"Have you ever known somepony who hides a deep good within themselves but, left alone, isn't that good for themselves."

Alfred's expression remained neutral.

"Vinyl just needs someone on her side. A friend, if you know what I mean."

"Yes, I do. Take care of her Miss Octavia, but don't forget to be good to yourself."

Octavia smiled at him and he couldn't resist bending down to give her a hug.

"Same to you Alfred," she whispered as he held her close.

Then she pulled back and started walking towards the edge of the island, shrinking all the way. When she got to the edge, she pushed her cello case over and turned to wave goodbye. Alfred returned the wave, and she jumped.

Taking a deep breath, Alfred walked around the edge of the table and picked up the box full of plastic toys. He couldn't resist giving an imperious look at the purple shades-wearing pony who just lay there grinning back, before closing the flaps of cardboard and sealing it shut.

As he placed the packing tape back into the drawer, relieved the messy menace to the manor cleanliness would no longer be troubling him, there came a knock at the door.

Alfred looked at the clock with a raised eyebrow. The second hand had just passed the 60-second mark and their visitor had arrived, just as predicted.

"Uncanny. How does she do it?" he whispered to himself as he picked up the box and stepped forward to greet the guest. They'd obviously surveyed the house before approaching the kitchen door.

Let us see how he handles this can of worms...





Superman had been pleased to see Wayne's butler, even though Alfred had merely responded to his greeting by presenting him with a plain, sealed cardboard box with the Wayne Manor address crossed out and a muttered, "Good luck," under his breath.

Now, as he flew through the clouds, the ocean under him and the box under his arm, he couldn't help but wonder what it was Bruce had entrusted to him.

Cutting through the cloud layer, he halted mid-flight as he felt something from inside the box.

Lifting up the box he peered at it for a second, the jet stream ruffling his hair and cape, before letting out a short, "Hmmm," and with a raised eyebrow, he continued his flight towards Metropolis.

If I didn't know better, I could have sworn that that white action figure with the purple shades and queasy expression... moved.