What If We Didn’t?
“I haven’t heard you laugh like that in a long time,” Krysta said.
Lightning frowned. “Really?”
Krysta nodded. “Not since… since we were kids, on the lam together.”
Lightning’s frown deepened. “That… no, that can’t be right. I’ve laughed since then.”
“No,” Krysta replied, “you haven’t.”
Lightning looked down at her in bewilderment. “You mean to say that since we came to New Olympia I have not laughed once?”
“Yep,” Krysta said. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
Lightning flicked his tail back and forth. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Okay then,” Krysta said. “It shouldn’t be any problem for you to prove me wrong then, should it? When have you laughed since we came to New Olympia?”
Lightning came to a halt. They were walking back to the library, with Miss Twilight leading the way – not that there was any need, but she was being polite and it pleased him to indulge her, plus it allowed him to drop back a little and talk to Krysta a little out of her earshot. He bowed his head, and furrowed his brow yet deeper as he thought. “Well… there was the time when… I think that… ah! I laughed when I won the tourney on my birthday last year.”
“That doesn’t count.”
“Why not?” Lightning demanded. “Laughter is laughter.”
“Triumphant crowing laughter is not the same thing as happy laughter, and it was happy laughter that I heard back there in that kitchen,” Krysta insisted. “That’s what I said: you haven’t laughed like that in a long time; not where I’ve heard you anyway.”
Lightning blinked. Several times. He worked his jaw silently as he thought back through his time in the palace, in the Star Legion, in training and tourney ground and battlefield. When had he laughed? Surely there had to have been at least one occasion when he had laughed, felt a rush of joy, felt that kind of pure exhilarating happiness that had consumed him in the bakery, that childish euphoria? Surely there had to have been at least one time? What about with Stellar, surely she had made him laugh? No, he was forced to conclude, no she hadn’t; there was a great deal that he admired about Stellar Shine – her iron sense of duty, her courage, her commitment to whatever task she set her mind to – but her wit was not among them and nor, he had to admit, was her warm heart. No, Stellar did not make him laugh. She did not bring him into situations that encourage laughter or joy.
Nor, for that matter, did his father, nor either of his adopted sisters.
“Diamond,” Lightning said. “Diamond must have made me laugh, everyone praises his wit.”
“Diamond makes me laugh, sometimes,” Krysta said. “But you never laugh at him, you glare at him with disapproval.”
“There’s a lot to disapprove of,” Lightning muttered.
“He’s just living his life,” Krysta said.
“He’s a wastrel and a libertine,” Lightning replied. “He lazes about the palace, living in the lap of luxury, blind to the sacrifices made by better ponies, contributing nothing to assist our father or uphold his cause.”
“At least he’s happy,” Krysta replied. “At least he has fun. Maybe he has a little too much fun but you know what, you could stand to learn a thing or two from him because you’ve got no answers, do you?” She placed her hands upon her hips. “You can’t think of a single example, can you?”
Lightning sighed with resignation. “No,” he admitted. “It seems so incredible to me that I am loath to admit it but… you’re right. I cannot.”
Krysta pursed her lips together. Her face fell. “You used to laugh. You used to have fun. Remember? Do you remember all the fun times we had together?”
“I remember,” Lightning said. “I remember that time… but then things changed.”
“You changed,” Krysta corrected him. “But you didn’t have to.”
“I-“
“Lightning?” Twilight asked, as she stopped and turned around to look back at the two of them. “Is everything okay?”
“Uh, yes, Miss Twilight,” Lightning said quickly. “I, um, Krysta and I require a word in private, if that is alright. Please, go on, we don’t wish to detain you.”
Krysta waved. “We’ll be fine. We can find the way. Or maybe I can just teleport us.”
Twilight smiled. By the gods she had the most lovely smile that he had ever beheld. It made her eyes… sparkle, although he would never have been able to say so aloud. “Well, okay. I’ll see you soon, then?”
“Yes, Miss Twilight,” Lightning said. He bowed his head. “And, Miss Twilight?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you,” Lightning said. “Once again.”
Twilight hesitated for a moment. “Of course,” she said. “Any time.”
She turned away, and resumed her walk back to her library. Lightning… he couldn’t help but watch her go. Something about her, the way… the way the inner light shone out of her. He didn’t want to take his eyes off her.
“This place has been good for you,” Krysta said. “And so has she.”
“I know,” Lightning said. “I haven’t felt… Krysta, can I tell you something?”
“You can tell me anything, you know that.”
Lightning nodded softly. “It grieves me that in a few short days we’ll have to leave all of this behind.”
Krysta fell silent for a moment. “What if… what if we didn’t?”
Lightning cocked his head to one side. “What if we didn’t… what?”
“What if we didn’t go back!” Krysta cried. “What if we didn’t go back to New Olympia, to the palace, to all the rest of it? What if… what if we stayed here?”
Lightning chuckled for a moment. Then he stopped, staring at her with what he was not too ashamed to admit was naked and unabashed surprise. “By the light, you’re serious?”
“Why shouldn’t I be?” Krysta said softly. She clasped her hands together in front of her and swayed from left to right. “I mean you like it here, right? And I like it here. So if we’re both happy here then why should we have to go back to a place where, let’s be real here, neither of us is happy.”
“I-“
“Don’t say that you’re happy in New Olympia, Lightning Dawn, if that were true you would have laughed one time in the last seven years,” Krysta said firmly.
Lightning sighed heavily. He felt as though he should have expected this. It had been naïve of him not to expect this. He knew - although it suited him sometimes to pretend otherwise, as unfair to Krysta as that was – that his adopted sister was not particularly happy in New Olympia and their living arrangements there. Had he really been so foolish as to think that his learning how to make her some sweet treats would count against the chance to… to escape from the life in which she was not happy, to one where she could be better off? “Krysta… I know that I don’t say often enough how grateful I am to you for… for staying with me all this time, for putting up with me and with… everything. It must sometimes seem as though I don’t notice, but I do… if my inaction isn’t worse than hypothetical ignorance. If you want to stay here then I’ll understand-“
“No!” Krysta said. “No, you dummy, that’s not what I want! This isn’t me telling you that I’m leaving you this is me asking you to take another step with me. To walk a different path, to choose a fresh start.” Her voice trembled, and it looked as though there might be tears in her eyes. “Stay here with me, and it can be like it was before, but better-“
“It’s not possible.”
“Why not?”
“We have a mission.”
“We can put the Prism Stone into the magical shoot when it opens up again to send it home, it doesn’t mean that we have to leap in ourselves,” Krysta said.
“I have a duty to my father and to the light-“
“The King has the ten thousand lances of the Star Legion to defend the light, and all the great guns of the Starfleet,” Krysta said. “Myriads of soldiers from across dozens of worlds all sworn to him; you’re just one pony, you’re not indispensable.”
“I never said I was,” Lightning replied in a slightly mulish tone.
“And he has Sunset Shimmer,” Krysta added. She smiled softly. “I hate to say this, but… an empire that has the Phoenix of Tantive IV to defend it doesn’t need you.”
“Maybe not, maybe you’re right,” Lightning said. “But where would the alliance be if every pony in the Star Legion and the Starfleet and all the rest felt like that? What if they all decided that they could shirk their duty because others would take it up for them?”
“That’s not going to happen and you know it,” Krysta declared. “There are others who can defend New Olympia and the light: Stellar, Cerise, Emerald and lots more like them. But only you have the chance to be happy here and now, with me.”
Lightning bit his lip. “I… Krysta…”
“Come on,” Krysta urged. “It’ll be even better than the old days.”
“How would we live?” Lightning asked. “We cannot trespass on Miss Twilight’s hospitality forever, eating her out of house and home.”
“We could get jobs,” Krysta said brightly. “Folks here are a lot friendlier than anywhere else we ever visited in case you hadn’t noticed. Ooh, we could open up a bakery! You can bake, and I’ll handle the front of house with my charming personality!”
Lightning grinned. “I can actually imagine that quite easily.”
“That’s because it’s a great idea,” Krysta said. “So are you in or not?”
Lightning said nothing for a moment. There was a part of him that wanted to tell Krysta no, to tell her not to spout such ridiculous rubbish, to mock the very idea of everything that she was proposing: he couldn’t abandon his duty to his father and his adopted people, he couldn’t shirk his duties as a sworn and anointed knight of the Star Legion, he couldn’t shrink from the great battle against the darkness when he had just discovered that which all New Olympia had been searching for ever since the exile of the King. He couldn’t turn away from all that he was, from the path that he had chosen when he was young and he had volunteered to go through with the augmentation process in order to better serve his father and repay all his kindnesses to him.
Or could he?
Because there was another part of Lightning, a part of him that wanted to say yes just as eagerly as that first part of him wished to say no, to take the different path that Krysta had laid out before him on this… this wonderful world. Equestria… it truly was a promised land, and though it was not quite what he had expected he could see quite easily why his people were so eager to return here. Krysta was right, the ponies here were so much friendlier than any other world which they had visited in their vagabond days; it was as if they had hearts so much larger than any other ponies’; hearts large enough to encompass, if not worlds, then at least two strangers from far beyond the stars.
And her… he could not deny that the thought of Miss Twilight was also weighing upon that side of his mind.
Oh brave new world that has such ponies in it.
Two roads led before him, and he knew not which to take.
“I… I will think on it,” he said.
Krysta’s eyes widened. “You… you will?”
“Yes,” Lightning said. “I will, seriously and sincerely I will think about it.”
Krysta stared at him. “Wow,” she said. “I gotta say, I didn’t actually expect that.”
“You thought I would refuse?”
“Well… yeah?”
“Then why did you ask?”
“Because I would have kicked myself if I hadn’t,” Krysta said. “Especially since you actually said… maybe?”
“Yes,” Lightning said. “Definitely maybe. I… I’ll have made up my mind by the time… by the time the time for our return arrives, if I decide to return.”
“If,” Krysta said, rolling the word on her tongue as though it were the most wonderful word that she had ever heard. “If, if, if, if. You know… there are times when I wonder why… and then you do something like this and I remember exactly why.”
Lightning smiled. “Thank you, for putting up with me.”
“Any time and for all time, brother,” Krysta said. She beamed. “I guess Twilight must have made a bigger impression on you than I thought, huh?”
“Well… let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Lightning said, feeling his face begin to burn up a little. “Although… I cannot deny that I…she makes me feel things that I am not accustomed to. I… I want to… I don’t know what I want. Except to call upon Miss Rarity and ask if she will do us a great favour.” Lightning paused, thinking about all that he hoped Miss Rarity, out of her grace and generosity, would grant him. “Make that three great favours.”
The Carousel Boutique stood out to Lightning as he and Krysta approached. Amidst this rustic town it shone as a beacon of elegance, the sort of place that one might see even in New Olympia, as a town house for a family of modest gentility who wished to have a presence in the capital even as their main estate remained out in the country somewhere. Had he not spent a couple of days here already, and been shown around the town what was more, he would have assumed that it was the residence of the local grandee, and not a shop at all.
Still, when he considered the reasons why he had come here he reminded himself to be glad that it was, in fact, a shop.
The reasons why he had come here…
Lightning slowed to a halt as a wave of doubt assailed him. He had come here on a mission and yet so far he had done absolutely nothing to advance the cause or mission that had sent him to Equestria. He was no closer to finding the Prism Stone now than when he had fallen from the sky.
And what had he done instead? He squandered his time with Miss Twilight, and to a lesser extent with her friends, even to the extent of considering abandoning his home and his life to stay here.
Because though it be a squandering he had had such a good time here nonetheless.
“Lightning?” Krysta asked. “Is everything okay?”
“I… I was just wondering…” Lightning murmured, because how could he tell her immediately after he had promised to think about staying here that he was now worried that there stay here had been a waste of time.
“You’re wondering if you haven’t done enough since you’ve been here,” Krysta said.
Lightning said, “How did you-“
“Because I know you, as much as it feels like you’ve tried to cut me out of your life sometimes,” Krysta said.
“Krysta-“
“Don’t,” Krysta said, holding up one hand. “This is the part where you tell me that I’ve overreacting and I tell you that this is how I feel and then we argue for a bit before you apologise, isn’t it? Let’s just skip past that for a bit so I can ask you this question: have you enjoyed yourself here?”
“Yes,” Lightning said. “More than I thought that I would. More than I thought that I could.”
“And you’re still thinking about it, right?”
“Of course I am,” Lightning replied. “But even if we do stay here we still have an obligation to complete our mission – our last mission, maybe – for His Majesty. And that… is not something I can honestly say that we’ve been doing.”
“Isn’t Princess Celestia going to talk to you about that at the party?”
“Yes, but-“
“Then what’s there to worry about?”
“The fact that… I feel as though I should be doing more,” Lightning said.
“I know you do,” Krysta said. “And that’s… it annoys me a lot, how committed you are to duty, but I suppose that I ought to admit that if you weren’t that way… if you didn’t give it everything you had, you probably wouldn’t be my brother who I love so much. But you should remember better than I do where we are: this is Equestria, we’re going to meet with Princess Celestia! Don’t you think that she’ll have the answers? Don’t you think that we can afford to spend a little time enjoying paradise? Don’t you think that doubting her is like a sin or something?”
“I don’t think that’s quite how it works,” Lightning said. “But I take your point.”
“Plus, you know, what else are we going to do?” Krysta said. “To be honest, what were we supposed to do? Search every inch of a whole world in seven days?”
“We were supposed to make contact with friendly authorities and enlist their aid.”
“Which we’ve done,” Krysta said. “And so we can relax while they do all the work.”
Lightning shook his head. “When you say things like that I can understand why Stellar thinks that you’re a corrupting influence upon me.”
“Well you know what I think about Stellar so you know what? I take that as a compliment.”
“Of course you do,” Lightning said. “Come on, let’s go inside.”
He stepped over the step and with a single hoof pushed open the door to Carousel Boutique. It was not… he would have said that it was not what he had expected except what had he expected? He had never had occasion to visit a lady’s dressmakers before, and to be quite honest he would have had no occasion to do so now save that she seemed to be the only kind of tailor in town. Although it was clear from the articles of clothing hanging from the many metal racks, or else adorning the many ponikins who stood like silent sentinels on guard throughout the room, that gowns were Miss Rarity’s primary passion and product, nevertheless he could see one or two suits here.
He could not, on the other hoof, see Miss Rarity anywhere, but he could hear her humming somewhere he could not see.
“Miss Rarity?” he called.
“Coming, darling,” Rarity replied. “Make yourself comfortable.”
Lightning hoped that that was not an indication that they were going to be expected to wait for a very long time. And it was in part a protest against that assumption that led him to remain standing even as Krysta took a seat on a cushion near the door.
It was not, in fact, a very long time to wait; in fact it was mere moments before Rarity emerged, trotting into view, a pair of pince-nez set upon her nose. “Now then, what can I do for- oh, Prince Lightning Dawn, what a surprise to see you here. Is Twilight with you?”
“No, Miss Rarity, she is not,” Lightning said. “Although she is the cause of my – our – being here.”
“Hi!” Krysta said, waving her hand.
“Oh, I’m sorry Krysta dear, I didn’t see you there,” Rarity said. “But you say that Twilight is the cause of your being here? Whatever do you mean?” A touch of concern entered her voice. “There’s nothing wrong, is there?”
“No,” Lightning said immediately. “When I left her she was on her way back to the library. No, what I mean is that… Miss Rarity you may or may not be aware that I have been asked to attend this, what is the name… the Grand Galloping Gala, where I will receive an audience with Princess Celestia.”
“I am aware of that, yes,” Rarity said softly.
“Miss Twilight told you?”
“She did,” Rarity replied. “We are her friends, after all.”
“She is fortunate to have so many in whom she can confide,” Lightning said.
Rarity chuckled. “We’re lucky to have her, too. But, if you’ll forgive me, I still don’t see why this necessitates you to call on me, as honoured as I am to receive a prince of a foreign land.”
“Well, it has occurred to me, Miss Rarity, that I have no attire that would be suitable to attend such a formal occasion,” Lightning said. “Since I doubt that armour would be acceptable.”
“Quite right, it certainly would not,” Rarity murmured. “So, you came to me because you need a suit?”
“If that is what a gentleman ought to wear then yes,” Lightning replied. “And something for Krysta also. I know that this must seem both a trivial thing and at the same time an imposition on my part, and I confess that I am not entirely sure how can I repay you, but…”
Rarity blinked behind her pince-nez as she waited for him to continue. “But, Prince Lightning?”
“I am Miss Twilight Sparkle’s guest,” Lightning said. “I would not like to embarrass her by attending this gala improperly dressed. In fact, I would… I would very much like to please her, which brings us on to the third favour that I would ask of you, Miss Rarity?”
Rarity had a faint, knowing smile playing across her face, although what she knew or thought she knew Lightning could not begin to guess at. “Go on, darling?”
“I… I do not know how you dance in this world,” Lightning said, feeling his face go red, or at least the parts of it that were not grey or black. “And even in my own world I am no graceful dancer. I was hoping that you, who seem to be a veritable model of grace and elegance, might give me some basic instruction.”
Rarity’s eyebrows rose. “Why, Prince Lightning Dawn, are you asking me to teach you how to dance?”
“I… I suppose I am,” Lightning said. “If that is possible in so short a span of time.”
“Hmm.” Rarity’s smile seemed to grow a little wider. “And this is all for Twilight’s sake?”
“She… she is worthy of a little effort on my part, don’t you agree.”
“Oh, quite,” Rarity said. “You needn’t worry about the cost, Prince Lightning, your suit – and Krysta’s dress – come gratis, on the house to a friend of Twilight Sparkle.”
“Miss Rarity, I cannot possibly-“
“Shh shhh, I insist, darling, and I won’t hear another word about it,” Rarity declared.
“At least-“
“You may be a prince of New Olympia or what have you,” Rarity said. “But you are in my shop now, your highness and it is my will, not yours, that matters and shall prevail within these walls.”
Lightning was surprised to feel his lips turning upwards. “Then I hear and obey, Miss Rarity.”
“Plus, I’ve never had a customer quite like Krysta before,” Rarity added. “And unique challenges are always a delight. Now, if you please, Prince Lightning, get up onto the platform over there,” she gestured to a round blue podium in the centre of the room. “And I will take your measurements.”
Long hours lying in ambush – he did not like to take his enemies in such a fashion, he preferred to face them in the field with his armour gleaming and his spearpoint catching the sunlight as he charged; but there were times when the more stealthy approach could not be avoided no matter how dishonourable it was – had taught Lightning the ability to stand perfectly still and not move, and if he had learned that skill to avoid giving away his position in the thicket or the ditch it was no less helpful here as he stood upon the raised podium while Rarity, with that deft use of her magic that he had already seen but continued to wonder at, took the measurements of his legs, his chest, his flank; measured his height to the shoulder, his length, his muscular girth. She hummed gently to herself as she took his measurements, occasionally interrupting to murmur something that only she understood as she jotted down the numbers that her tape informed her of. Once she had taken his measurements she retired to a table, where she began to scribble on a piece of paper, muttering to herself all the while.
“Something classic, yes, and very classy,” Rarity said. “But not too staid, oh no, something with a touch of uniqueness about it. And the colour…yes. Yes!” She looked up at Lightning. “Just leave it with me, darling. Oh, Twilight’s going to love this. Now, Krysta, your turn.”
Lightning got down, and Krysta’s gossamer wings spread out on either side of her as she fluttered up from her cushion and across the boutique to stand on the platform.
“So, um, is it arms out?” Krysta said, holding out her arms in a T to demonstrate what she meant.
“Yes, that’s absolutely perfect, now hold it right there for a moment,” Rarity said, as she once more got to work taking Krysta’s measurements. However, while Lightning had only been required to stand as still as any of the graven statues in the Hall of Heroes, Rarity actually spoke to Krysta as she worked. “I hope you don’t take offence, Prince Lightning, when I say that you don’t appear to have much of an idea of what you want out of this.”
“Beyond something to wear that will make me acceptable and not make Miss Twilight an object of second-hand derision,” Lightning said. “No, I do not. I am, after all, a stranger here.”
“And he never had much fashion sense anyway,” Krysta said.
Rarity chuckled. “I thought as much. You, on the other hoof, look as though you have some opinions about what you wear.”
“You noticed my sense of style?” Krysta asked, her face brightening. “What do you think? Cool, huh?”
“It’s very you, darling.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Krysta asked. “Because it sounds like the sort of thing you say when you can’t think of anything actually nice to say.”
“Oh, not at all,” Rarity assured her. “One should never lose sight of one’s own personal style. The boldest choice is always to be you, and when it comes to fashion the boldest choice is often the best. So, what kind of gown would you like for the gala?”
Lightning attempted to follow their conversation where it led, but they lost him in the mire of discussion on train and A-lines and ballgowns and how much of Krysta’s legs should or would be visible, and that was even before they got started on a collar. A collar! How could there be so many different types of collar? Wasn’t it just something that went around the neck?
Anyway, he soon lost track of what they were talking about and what it all amounted to, but he didn’t particularly care because Krysta seemed to understand it perfectly as she talked in an increasingly animated fashion with Rarity about…fashion things, which might as well have been a discussion of the finer points of mineralogy for all that Lightning understood it but Krysta seemed to understand it very well, to be attentive to it and engaged with it, and that was good enough for him.
She didn’t get to smile enough in New Olympia, and that was as much as his fault as anypony else’s.
That was more his fault than anypony else’s.
If they did stay here… staying here in Equestria would be worth it if she would smile more often, and talk so animatedly and find more things that she could be engaged with and passionate about.
I never meant to neglect you. I certainly never meant to hurt you. But I’m afraid that along the way I ended up doing both.
And by shrinking from the way I know to make this right I may be compounding the error.
“That certainly gives me something to get on with,” Rarity said. “I must admit that I usually don’t do my best work with rush orders, but for something like this and with an opportunity like you, Krysta, you can rest assured that, well, the rules of Rarity guarantee the very highest quality, you may depend upon it.”
“I do, Miss Rarity,” Lightning said. “But I am sure that with your deft command of magic you will produce something truly splendid.”
“Oh, my deft command of magic indeed,” Rarity scoffed. “A little facility with telekinesis is nothing, Prince Lightning, nothing at all. It is all in the eye of the artiste. Now, there was one more thing you wanted before I got started, wasn’t there?”
Lightning felt as though he might have rather faced a charge of the Saturnine Hetairoi than be where he was at the moment. The elite troops of his father’s great enemy might kill him but at least they wouldn’t force him to embarrass himself first. “Dance lessons.”
“Don’t look so alarmed, darling,” Rarity said. “I’m sure you can’t be that bad. Show me a few steps.”
Lightning stomped forwards, and then slightly sideways with a heavy thump.
“My word, you aren’t very good at this, are you?” Rarity murmured. “Never mind, Twilight isn’t that good at it either, I must confess. She has… great enthusiasm,” she said. “But amongst her many, many sterling qualities I’m afraid that she has yet to master a ladylike grace. Never mind, she is still very young.”
“Is she?” Lightning asked. “I understood that you were all contemporaries?”
Rarity paused for a moment. “I suppose we are, although I am slightly the elder; indeed Applejack and I are tied in years for the eldest of our happy band, and while I think Pinkie has Twilight pipped as the youngest of us because they both seem so young, albeit in different ways. With Twilight… it is her inexperience, if you follow. She has lived most of her life within the walls of her magic school, half taught and half raised by Princess Celestia, and only now has she been set free from the gilded cage and she is so charmingly eager to fly. To see everything that she can see, to do everything that she might do.” She cleared her throat. “But we aren’t here to talk about Twilight Sparkle, are we? No, Prince Lightning, we are here to correct your – let’s not sugarcoat it – appalling form. Now, get up on the tips of your hooves. Surely a stallion like you has had cause to be light-hoofed at some point.”
“Upon occasion, Miss Rarity.”
“Well, such an occasion has come upon you now,” Rarity said primly. “Up on your hooftips and balance there for me, there’s a good fellow.”
Lightning did as he was bidden, raising himself up on the points of his hoofs and sustaining his weight there, feeling the pressure upon the narrow points.
Rarity’s horn flared as he levitated a black disc onto something that Lightning guessed to be a record player of some description. His guess was proven right when sweeping classical music – with a strong double bass – began to emerge from the brass trumpet.
“Now then, darling,” Rarity said. “Follow my lead, and let the music sweep you away.”