Setting the kitchen on fire. Of all things, they had to set the kitchen on fire. As much as Hogan loved his men, even when they goofed up (Newkirk's Gestapo friend comes to mind), this had gone too far. They are away from the war and possibly in a entirely new world, and the first thing they do is set some poor pony's kitchen on fire. Hell, what came as a big surprise to him was the fact that it wasn't Carter that set the damn thing on fire but apparently Le Beau. Now if that was not suspicious, what the hell was suspicious anymore? From the looks of what was going on outside, it was clear Newkirk had something to do with it and it looked like they were about to kill each other. Luckily, Kinch, Carter, and Schultz were making sure Le Beau did not stick his spoon somewhere it didn't belong and should not belong.
At least the little pink pony was trying to comfort him, so that was probably the only win he was going to get. No doubt though that the fire department was going to question them though. But anything was better than Hochstetter, as much fun as it was to mess around with that Gestapo agent.
A few minutes after the fire, one of the Pinkie Pie's (ironically her name) friends named Applejack came along looking quite tired. From the way she spoke, it was clear she was a country... girl? Mare? Ah hell, whatever it is. Hogan wouldn't tell her anything really. For one, it would probably get his men into more trouble than they already were, and two, Hogan knew nothing of what happened. All he knew was that he heard Le Beau curse out something and then somehow, he found himself outside of the house and some pink blur bringing out the rest of the guys at near lightning speed. Next thing he knew, the kitchen was apparently on fire and the local fire brigade as well as every... pony... was outside watching the chaos unfold. This was looking to be a long day for Hogan.
*** *** ***
When Twilight returned to Sugarcube Corner, she never expected to find it on fire and the 6 humans she had left nearly on the brink of hurting each other. From what she heard from their commander, Colonel Hogan, he knew nothing of what happened. Normally, the best course of action would've been to question them right there on the spot but there was quite a lot of paparazzi in the area marveling over the humans so the next thing they knew, they found themselves in the Library.
Well, precautions had to be taken, at the request of Hogan's second in command, Sergeant Kinchloe (or Kinch as they called him) as it seemed Hogan was too shocked to do anything. From what Pinkie had told her, it was clear he was trying to hold back his anger. So, the two "men" that were about to hurt each other were now tied up and even gagged so they did not try anything else. Of course though, the one in the blue uniform (Newkirk was his name apparently) immediately escaped so the next best thing was to have the friendly Sergeant Schultz lay down on him... yes, lay down on him. They tried having Schultz sit on Newkirk to prevent him from moving but it nearly crushed him so Schultz simply laid down on Newkirk's tied up arms so he would not escape again. The chef Le Beau was at least cooperative to some degree but he was muttering some odd words in his native language. From the tone of his voice, he sounded like he was faintly cursing.
But enough of preventing two pon..... people.... from killing each other. When everything finally settled down, Kinch wrote down his testimony and passed it onto Colonel Hogan. When Hogan read the paper, it was clear that he looked like he was going to explode. He nearly got up to obviously do something to his men before Kinch and Carter stopped him and got him to sit back down. Next came Carter's testimony, and at his behest, he said it aloud. Turns out when he is explaining something, he can be very vivid and detailed, he just tends to ramble.
"Alright Carter, whatcha got for us?" Kinch asked in a more fatherly tone.
"Well, that depends really... you want the long or short story?" Carter replied, clearly nervous.
"For once Carter, give us every detail."
"Oh, alright... It started right after Le Beau and Pinkie started to cook...."
*** *** ***
"Okay Newkirk, it is very simple, just get me the flour and the apples and then we will have all the ingredients, do you think you can do that?"
"Christ Frenchie, would you stop bloody treating me like a child? I can handle things on my own thank you very much."
"Oh yeah, just like your little lady friend that you brought into that tunnels?"
French Bastard, Newkirk thought as he was looking for the flour. Everytime one of the guys mentioned it, Newkirk always shuddered. He did bring a Gestapo agent into the tunnels, but he thought she was on their side anyways. Still though, even if it was resolved, the memory still remained.
Looking through the small cabinets, Newkirk finally found the flour and was on the process of making his way back to Le Beau when Pinkie Pie dashed right in front of him causing him to trip and the flour to fly right into Le Beau's face. If there is one thing you always want to avoid, it is pissing off a french chef.
Le Beau had a face of disappointment, but it was a clear sign of his anger beginning to rise so Newkirk knew to can it.
Over near the (rather small) judging table, Schultz was beginning to salivate while Kinch and Carter looked at the spectacle of Pinkie Pie in both awe and surprise. The little pony was moving as fast as a bullet, getting all her ingredients and cooking materials together. By the time Le Beau and Newkirk finally got new flour, she was already making the dough and apple filling.
The next few minutes went by calmly until Newkirk and Le Beau tried to fumble with the oven and stove.
"Bloody hell, how do you use this bloody thing? It looks like it was made for you Le Beau!" Newkirk exclaimed. For as pissed off as Le Beau was at the comment, Newkirk had a point. Everything did look like it was specifically catered to Le Beau. The only problem was, well... it all looked so different from what he was used to. Even in Paris outside of Stalag 13, stoves did not look like this.
"Do they have ovens like this in London Newkirk?"
"How the bloody hell should I know? I never grew up in high society ya bloody frog."
"Say that one more time and I swear on the honor of De Gualle that I will stick this spoo..."
*** *** ***
Finally, Colonel Hogan spoke.
"Wait... so you mean to tell me that you guys burnt a damn kitchen down just over some god damned name calling?" He said looking over at the two tied up men.
"Well, no Colonel... there was more... a whole lot more." Carter said shakily.
Looking at Pinkie Pie and the rest, he asked "Is this true?"
When all of them nodded, Hogan put his hand over his head and muttered "Of all the things to happen when I am not at war... Jesus Christ..." and finally sat back down and prepared for the rest of Carter's tale.