//------------------------------// // Table Flips and Critical Hits // Story: Game Night // by Crimson_Moon //------------------------------// Your name is Anonymous... And your life has utterly gone to shit in the span of a day. How, you might ask? Well, aside from having a good day at the farm and being handed a generous amount of bits from good ol' Sunbutt, your archenemy Purple Smart has decided today was the day to break into your house on the edge of the Apple Farm, pilfer your sock drawer, steal your last bottle of cider (whilst blaming Rainbow Bright), and discover a secret you thought buried and forgotten. Yep, today couldn't go any worse. The secret in question was a box. Inside that box was more boxes, but on the side of those boxes? On the side was the unmistakable logo of one of America's Greatest Pastimes. No, not the regular run-of-the-mill sports equipment any Normies would own; This was of the Basement Dwelling Nerd variety... And your sworn enemy had found it. "Care to explain this?!" She exclaimed with the smuggest look on her face, as if she found the biggest set of keys to the kingdom of Whogivesashit. "Care to explain why you broke into my house?" You spat back. "I told you, Rainbow did that!" She huffed. "Now," the mare brought the box closer, hovering the five-pronged logo of your people within inches of your face. "What kind of evil do you have locked away in here? Is this some sort of magic sigil!?" Well, as crazy as she normally gets, that was pretty mellow for her over-the-top conclusions, so you rolled with it. "Yeah, sure. It's got demons and goblins and artifacts, enchantments, and I even stuffed Land into them!" Your voice dripped with sarcasm. What you said was true, however. It didn't matter either way, for it sent her into what you like to call "SciTwi meltdown." It was a technical term that meant shit's going down. "I- what?! How!?" She stammered through her incomprehensible mumbles. "Open and see for yourself." Hesitant, she looked at you, then back at the box. Giving it a good shake with her magic, prodding it with a hoof, and yes, even licking it, she was confident it wasn't a bomb at least. Gently the Alicorn set the box down, then ducked behind a nearby couch, and without even blinking, opened the cover of one of the boxes like a bandaid. A few minutes of silence followed, and you rolled your eyes. "It didn't blow up, Twilight. Time to come out and look at my 'Evil Magic'." You sighed. It was times like these you drank that cider stashed in the fridge. Oh wait... Slowly, she peered over the couch and looked at the box's contents. Seeing nothing coming out, Twilight approached. "I don't understand. Where are the monsters?" She looked at me. Sighing again, you took out one of the hundreds of cards you used to bring out and play with your friends, the back of it bringing a wave of memories crashing forth. Flipping it over, you were greeted with the oldest card in your collection, and also your proudest one: It was a dragon looming over a sandstone building, looking smug in his victory. Not much to the card, and there were more rare versions available, but he came out of the very first booster you ever opened. Suddenly, the card was caught in a purple aura and hovered out of your grasp, shaking you out of your trip down memory lane. "What is a 'Planeswalker'?" The purple pony asked. You sighed. It's gonna take be a looooong day... One day later, bringing you back to now... "But what's so magical about it? And what are you gathering?" You heard Twilight ask for the thousandth time. "That's just the name of the Brand!" You exclaimed out of frustration, nearly beating your head into the crystalline table that was the Cutie Map. After explaining what it was, Purple Smart wanted to take a moment to learn everything about the trading card game that was Magic: the Gathering and brought your entire collection to the Castle of Friendship. Honestly, she was pretty bipolar when it came to you being either good or evil. It pissed you off to no end. "So, did you wanna learn or not?" You asked. "I already taught you the basics and even built a deck for you, so let's go! I've got better things to do than this..." You honestly didn't, but she didn't need to know that. "I just want to make sure I understand." She explained, earning another frustrated groan from you. "None of these cards have any magic and that's just the name of the game?" She magically shuffled the red and blue deck you made for her in the air. "Yes! You DENSE MOTHER F-" "And you play it... For fun." She interrupted you. "Oh my gosh, to think there'd be am invention of mankind that doesn't involve mass destruction!" You replied sarcastically, shuffling your own deck in your hands. "Now let's play." You were several turns in, holding your life at a steady amount. Grixis normally did you dirty on the Life, but at least this time around you weren't in the red. Speaking of... you thought as you looked at Twilight's board state. For Izzet, you thought it would be perfect for a pony like her: plenty of blue spells to cancel your stuff, and a healthy smattering of red to deal the damage when she needed to. Boy were you wrong. Her board was horrendous. The mare kept tapping her Mana out for ridiculously powerful creatures but didn't save enough for instants or sorceries! It was like she was beaten up, taken hostage, and replaced with a clone that spent too much time in the oven, if you get the drift. "I- but...HOW?!" She slammed a hoof into the table, looking across at you. "You were too busy playing creatures you couldn't counter the biggest threat I own." You pointed to that treasured planeswalker of yours. You weren't lying either- everything else on your field would be easily taken care of, if the mare actually swung those serpents she had. Heck, that Minotaur double strikes! Instead, she kept building up creatures and never attacked. "Preparing her defenses." She said. Little that did her in the end. She had no Mana to counter and probably a full hand of counterspells ready to go. It resolved, and your planeswalker exiled her entire board of permanents. The game was easily won from here. "Learn your lesson yet?" You and her made it into a little bit of a game at this point(aside from it being, well, a game) to where she would try something new and you would "teach" her how to counter it, in kind. Your creatures hit for 12, bringing her down to 8 life. She narrowed her eyes. "I'm still alive. I can win this." Untapping all her lands, Twilight began her turn. At first, she started flinging creatures out to the field, and you just shook your head. She caught on and backed off, changing her mind. Hovering a couple cards away from the others, she did what the last few turns she hadn't: she kept Mana open. Two cards were played, a sorcery that washed away your side of the field with it's ability, and another that made you flinch, if only slightly. You know the card, it was a good pull from one of the more recent sets, it's blue red border and smug look from the human in the art having you swear under your breath. Sure it didn't have any plus abilities, but this particular planeswalker didn't need it, for it had something far worse when facing it's color scheme: It had a copy ability. That deck had a lot of spells. This is going to turn around quick if you don't do something! "Now listen, I know you think that's a good idea, and normally you'd be right," you bluffed, looking at your board for anything that could dig you out. Nothing, no land available. At least, not for what you need to do to stay alive. You were screwed! She got the world's best smug grin, and started talking mad shit. "Oh, what's the lesson this time?" She hovered over another card, bringing it closer to the creature she wanted it on. It buffed the creature a few numbers, making it a deadly serpent, whilst also having hexproof already. The deadly riverwinder dealt a blow of 8, but that's not what killed you. What killed you was the fiery arrow sent your way, then cast again because of that planeswalker on her side of the field. You were gone. Sighing in defeat, you muttered "good game." Before flipping the crystal table with immense strength, or tried to, before throwing your back out. Silently, you limped away and headed back home, cursing yourself for getting back into a game that took all your free time up when you were younger. It wasn't all bad though... You had fun in the end.