//------------------------------// // Like Having a Pet // Story: Those Four Guys // by Kodiologist //------------------------------// Whisperwing saw something enormous at the Bronc Zoo and wondered what marvelous creature was on display today, only to find that it was his date. There was a dragon with scales as black as night, two great spiraling horns, and a pair of thick glasses. Standing on his hind legs and somewhat hunched over, he must have been at least twenty feet tall, tall enough to look down on the biggest giraffes. Whisperwing flew down to his head and looked into great bespectacled green eyes. "Hey, you must be Basalt. I'm Whisperwing." "Hi." said Basalt, drawing his head back a bit. He had a very deep voice, which sounded as if he were trying to speak quietly, but booming from a throat that massive, it wasn't actually quiet. "Yeah, that's me." It's a good thing there's no expectation that we have sex. Whisperwing thought. I could more readily penetrate his cloaca with my whole body than a part of it. I might as well throw a hot dog down a hallway. Or rather, a knitting needle down a canyon. "So…" said Basalt. "Sorry, yes." said Whisperwing. "I got distracted." "You've never seen a dragon my age, have you?" said Basalt. "It's okay." "How old are you?" said Whisperwing. "Straight to the point, huh?" said Basalt, gritting his massive teeth and adjusting his glasses. "I'm eighty-four." "I'm twenty." said Whisperwing. "That doesn't make me too young for you, does it?" "I don't care. I mean, you're an adult, right?" "A new one, but yes." "Then it's fine. That's all that matters, if you're cool with it." "Yes, to be sure. I don't mind that at all." "What about my size, though? You mind that, don't you?" Basalt hunched down a bit more, by a length equal to about Whisperwing's entire height, so Whisperwing descended accordingly. "Well… it's a new experience for me, but I'm not against it categorically." said Whisperwing, in what he hoped was a reassuring tone. "Not by any means. Let's get to know each other." "Okay." Basalt mumbled, smiling a little. "Shall we go see the animals?" "Yeah, sure." They browsed the zoo, Whisperwing mostly keeping to the air so he could stay at eye level with Basalt. Basalt liked to talk to the animals and make kissing noises at them, which Whisperwing would have found ridiculous even from a pony. "So what do you do?" said Basalt, turning to Whisperwing as they admired the Bronc Zoo's prize specimen, a half-ton hodag from western Equestria. "Oh, I'm a janitor at a bank downtown. But I also do amateur mathematics." "What's that?" "I mean, I conduct mathematical research, even though I'm not employed by a university." "Oh! You must be really smart." Basalt looked thoughtful. "But why?" "Why aren't I employed by a university, I mean?" "No, I mean, why do research for fun? I mean, is it fun? But then it wouldn't be research, right?" "Well, it isn't for fun." "So why, then?" Whisperwing hesitated. "It's of inherent importance. Mathematics describes the absolute limits of the possible. Sure, it may be fun, but that's not why we do it." "Interesting!" said Basalt, in an overly enthusiastic tone of voice suggesting he didn't understand. "What do you do?" said Whisperwing. "I don't know yet. I just moved to Equestria a moon ago." "What did you do back home?" "Um, the Dragonlands doesn't have jobs. I just hunted for myself. Gems or prey, whatever I could find. That's kind of what we all do." "Oh. Well then, how are you liking capitalism?" "It's tough. I don't know how I'm going to make rent next moon." Whisperwing chuckled softly. "Yes, that's a good summary. How did you decide to move here?" Basalt looked aside. "You're a smart guy. I bet you can guess." Whispwering thought about it. "Were you looking for love?" "That's right. I only learned I was gay like fifteen years ago. It's lonely being gay in the Dragonlands. Feels like all the others are taken. Or… well, what's the pony word? 'Closeted'. Yeah. Everydragon wants eggs, maybe not right now, but someday, and if you admit to yourself that you're gay, then you're never going to have an egg with a dragon you love." Whisperwing licked his lips. "Are your parents accepting of you?" "Sure, it's easy for them! They don't have to think about this stuff." Basalt looked grave. "Do you want children?" Whisperwing said carefully. "Badly." A deep sigh rumbled out of the gigantic dragon like a distant avalanche. "Maybe I'll still have an egg with a female dragon, but it's not the same as having an egg with my own husband—'gems of love', you know. And I don't want to adopt a pony. It would be so hard to watch them grow up, grow old, and die before I'm even two hundred." "You realize that the same thing is going to happen if you take a pony as a boyfriend." "Yeah, but that doesn't seem so bad. I mean, one of my friends is married to a pony—a mare, I mean—and he says he'll just move onto another mare, or maybe a dragon, when his wife dies. It's like having a pet." Whisperwing looked a bit horrified as he considered the implications of this, and Basalt said "Uh, sorry. That was kind of mean. It's just, um, that's what it feels like for us. A child's different. Kids are supposed to outlive you." "I understand." said Whisperwing, not quite truthfully. "And then gay ponies want to make love anyway, which is completely pointless. It's right there in the name, even in Ponish. If you don't make anything…" Basalt seemed to suddenly remember who he was talking to. "I mean, I guess I could try or something, if you want to. I mean, if my boyfriend wants to. Because you're not my boyfriend. I mean, not yet. I mean, unless—uh, I'm gonna stop talking now." Whisperwing could barely make out a blush under the black scales of the dragon's face. "It's all right." said Whisperwing softly. "These things are delicate for all of us. All that differs is the reasons." "Thanks." said Basalt. They were quiet a while. Whisperwing took a quick tour through the aviary while Basalt, who didn't quite fit inside, glanced through the windows, and then they went to see the giraffes. "Pretty, aren't they?" said Basalt. "Yes." said Whisperwing. "They have a certain unearthly grace about them… their proportions are all different from, um, other creatures of that size, but they move so easily all the same. I think that before I saw one in the flesh, I would have expected them not to be so comfortable in their own skin." "Yeah." said Basalt. "Sort of on that… how'd you learn you were gay, Whisperwing?" "Oh." said Whispwering, laughing. "I remember it well. I was twelve years old. There was a Crash Fortune blockbuster out at the time, and all my male friends at school were crushing on Countess Coloratura, who played the love interest, while my female friends preferred the stallion who played the title role. I thought the fillies had the right idea. That was my awakening." "I remember that guy. He was a legit snack. What happened to him?" "He couldn't act, so he went back to porn." "What's that?" "What's what?" "'Porn'." Whisperwing tried to think of the word for it in the language of dragons. Then he remembered an awkward conversation with Crag back in their school days in which he learned that there wasn't one. "Um… it's a less prestigious performance art. How about you? You said you realized your own homosexuality fifteen years ago, didn't you? You would still have been an adult then." "Yeah. It took a long time. I didn't know gayness was a thing for a long time. And then I didn't wanna be gay. But I hadn't had a girlfriend for decades, anyway. I thought I'd be happier if I wasn't living in denial." They watched the giraffes silently for a few moments, and Whisperwing said "And have you been so?" "I don't know." said Basalt in a voice that was recognizable as a timid mumble for all its booming depth. "I thought I'd have life figured out by now. Here I am at eighty-four, starting all over again. I have to say… I envy you, Whisperwing. You seem so smart and you've got it all figured out, and you're a lot younger than me, even counting the race difference." "No, I think I misled you." said Whisperwing hurriedly. "I have more than a few fears and uncertainties of my own. We have things in common." On impulse, he flew closer to Basalt and kissed him quickly on the end of his snout. Basalt seemed shocked, but then he smiled earnestly, and Whisperwing reflexively smiled back. "I liked that." said Whisperwing. "How did you like it?" In reply, Basalt licked Whisperwing's face with his great forked tongue. Whisperwing couldn't help but laugh. Basalt was blushing intensely now. "So, can we get another date sometime?" said Basalt. "Let's." said Whisperwing, and they embraced as gracefully as they could, given the size difference.