4C
Thursday 18, Month 4, Year 79 The Canterlot Review
EAT & DRINK
Confectioner Catapults Coconut Crème
By First Scoop
Restaurant Reviewer
I never thought I’d be praising the nobility for anything, especially not for an eatery. I personally prefer to visit and review long-established-but-lesser-known Mom-and-Pop restaurants around Canterlot when I can find them. For this review, I’ve made an exception.
After supplying our troops with treats to keep their spirits high during last year’s war with the griffons—however brief it may have been—Cotton Candy, the adopted daughter of Knight-Protector and Royal Archivist Sir Spike the Dragon (also widely known as the Dragon of Ponyville), has recently opened her own confectionery on Oak Street, across from the western entrance of East Canterlot Park. While Miss Candy is technically a member of the Royal Family, a trusted source informed me that she prefers not to consider herself as such outside of the castle, and so I am placing her in the nobility category. I forgive her for this transgression.
I happened upon Miss Candy’s store as I was exiting the park after a midday stroll. I managed to catch my source, Miss Daisy Withers—a close friend of Miss Candy’s—before she disappeared into the city proper after leaving the shop. Miss Withers said, “Cotton told me she wanted to make it on her own.” If only other nobles would follow this example!
Aside from the superb sweets this seventeen-year-old prodigious proprietress of pastries has to offer, Miss Candy has also proven herself a friend to us ‘common folk’ by finally giving one of our snobbiest nobility, Blueblood the Third, the comeuppance he so richly deserves. I was fortunate enough—or perhaps unfortunate enough—to come upon the shop just after the incident. I saw a figure, who was confirmed to be Blueblood himself, galloping down Oak Street, and Miss Withers shouting from the door. After she exited the shop, my curiosity was piqued. I flagged her down as she walked down Oak in the opposite direction to enquire about what had just occurred. After a lengthy discussion, my only regret was that I hadn’t walked by two minutes earlier to witness Blueblood receiving his just desserts myself.
The very informative Miss Withers told me, “Oh, you should’ve seen it.” It took a few moments for her resumed laughter to subside. “[Blueblood III] just strutted in the door with his muzzle up in the air…And Cotton offers him one of her chocolate chip-cookies free of charge….He’s got the [redacted] to tell her he’s had better. I’ve had those cookies before, and I’m telling you, they’re the best you will ever have.…So I’m sitting at the counter with Cotton…and I say to him, ‘Yeah? I doubt it.’ Cotton waves me off…so she tries something else. She offers him a slice of her Coconut Crème Pie….He takes a bite and has the nerve to turn his nose up at it. Then after the jerk pushes the plate back to her like he’s trying to knock it off the counter, he says…‘I wouldn’t feed this to the filth at the orphanage.’ Madre de Solis, did that strike a nerve with Cotton, and rightly so! …While he’s got his nose up in the air, Cotton just up and grabs the rest of the pie and chucks it right into his face! He totally deserved it!”
The irony of the foppish dandy’s statement is that Miss Candy has been donating all of her unsold produce to multiple food bank charities, including Luna’s Orphanage in Central Canterlot, where she herself resided for a decade before being adopted by Sir Spike. Indeed, they seem quite grateful, and immensely satisfied—particularly the colts and fillies at the orphanage.
“Cotton’s cookies are the best! I like the snickerdoodles!” said six-year-old Cherry Berry as she bounced on her hooves. This was followed by high praise of Miss Candy’s apple pie from nine-year-old Ollie North, who was promptly scolded for using language unbefitting of a colt his age in his compliments.
Mother Matron, head caretaker at Luna’s Orphanage, spoke to me about Miss Candy. “Cotton is such a sweetheart. After years of helping us in the orphanage while she was living here, now she’s been helping us out of the orphanage ever since she opened that shop of hers.…The children have been absolutely ecstatic about getting these treats. I’ve had to stash them away…but of course I give them out after lunch and supper. I just hope they won’t be disappointed when Cotton’s business starts booming and she has no more leftovers. I will happily go and buy a supply from her myself when that happens.”
Of course, I did not inform Mother Matron of the occurrence that led to my arrival, but she likely knows now because of this publication. I must apologize to Miss Candy for any negative repercussions that may ensue. Don’t go too hard on her, Madam Matron.
I myself can attest to all the high opinions of Miss Candy’s wares. After my interview with Miss Withers concluded, just after the incident, I rushed into the store and was lucky enough to sample the remains of the pie slice that Blueblood the Third was foolish enough to turn his nose up at, which Miss Candy gave to me free of charge when I insisted she not discard it. After enjoying what I can only describe as the crème of the crop, I happily purchased a supply of chocolate chip cookies, which, as Miss Withers quite accurately describes, will put you into ‘chocolate ecstasy.’
It is incredibly satisfying to see one of the nobility not depending on old money to make a living. While I can only assume that Miss Candy lives quite the life of luxury as a resident of Canterlot Castle, based on what those I’ve spoken to have had to say about her, she is nothing if not selfless and humble. Rest assured, I will be a frequent customer of Cotton Candy’s Confections, not only for the delicious treats, but for what Miss Candy uses as her tagline: ‘Sweets served with a smile.’ I highly recommend that my readers do the same, if not for the sweets, then to support such a noble cause!
First Scoop is a food critic for The Canterlot Review. Contact him at his office on West Maple St.
Sources confirmed and names used with permission.