United States
State of Lincoln
United Equestrian Reservation Administrator's House.
6:36 PM
Twilight trotted into her home slowly, closing the door behind her with a brush of her tail. It wasn’t the castle of friendship but at least it was more than comfortable compared to her supposed.... constituents?.... was that what Americans called them? She shook her head, it didn’t really matter right now.
The familiar pattern of little scaled feet was picked up by her ears as her back leg was wrapped up in a hug. ”Twilight! Where have you been? You said it was only gonna be a few hours!” The young purple drake squeezed her leg tightly before a familiar magical glow pulled him close to her barrel. ”... Twilight?.....”
The small drake looked up to his friend's face as she clutched him close. There was one word for what he saw.... heartbreak. ”Spike...... I......” She was tearing up. ”Can we just stay like this for a moment?...... Please?....” She practically begged the drake who just nodded squeezing her reassuringly.
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It was hard to know how long they had sat like that, but neither of them worried about time. Eventually, the purple alicorn's stomach rumbled and Spike got to work with lunch. After pulling out his step stool and frilly pink apron, the smells of thick tomato bisque with crusty grilled cheese filled the room.
Taking a breath Spike looked over at her as she started to look through Amazon prime for something to watch. ”Twilight?.... Do you think you can finally tell me what happened?.......” He asked gently almost to the point it seemed he hoped she wouldn't hear him.
Once she stopped on a historic documentary she looked over from the couch. ”I...... I guess some ponies I really cared about..... Told me how they feel......” She swallowed.
”Applejack didn't take kindly to you visiting her at work...” Spike said more like a statement than a question.
”No...... Since she wasn't willing to answer my messages..... I tried talking with Big Mac.... He told me the only way I could help was to be out of sight......” Twilight wrapped herself in a thick blanket. ”It was a mistake......”
”Visiting him?.....” Spike started to pour the soup into two bowls before setting the melted grilled cheeses around them.
”No... I mean yes!” She slowly trotted over to the small island in the kitchen sitting on the cheap Ikea chair. ”Why did I think they would even want to see me, it was so obvious with the ignored messages! Now I feel even worse then I did before I visited them! Because now I know they have every reason to hate me!” She clasped her hooves over her face.
”Twilight?.... What are you talking about?” He climbed up onto the chair next to her and rested his claw on her shoulder.
“I’m guilty by association...their farm was burned by the guard.......” She slowly looked up at the worried drake.
His eyes widened before looking away. “Oh......Twilight, you had no idea what was going on, you were in Canterlot when this all started!” Spike tried to say but the mares shaking head didn’t show she saw it that way.
“She had doubts...... even with her mind crumbling.... but when she asked me..... how much should she sacrifice for the good of Equestria.....” She slowly swirled the metal spoon around her bowl of thick soup. “I told her...... everything....” She lowered her head staring at the bowl.
“Twilight that’s literally the most..... generic advice you could give her.... how could that have changed anything?” He raised a scaly eyebrow at his caretaker. “You couldn’t have known what she meant!”
“That’s not the point Spike....” She looked up at the drake while continuing to stir her soup.
Spike looked over while dipping his grilled cheese in the soup and taking a bite. “Then what is the point Twilight?.... you constantly punish yourself going to the reservations! For what?! So ponys can glare at you! You let ponies spit on you! If I wasn’t there last time you went to the yellow zone I think you would have been trampled to death!” Spike started to tear up. “What could you have done to make you think you deserve any of this?!”
The purple mare looked up from her soup the stirring motions coming to an end. “Because..... I comforted the devil Spike...” she dropped the spoons “I saw all the signs..... paranoia..... delusion...... depression..... anxiety...... confusion....spontaneous nose bleeding..the list goes on... we might not have had a name for it then..... but the signs of Mana Induced Dementia was all there...”
“Twilight.....” Spike tried to intervene but she just shook her head. She needed this, the mare just lowered her head again, small tears dropping into her soup as she remembered that day.
“But I ignored everything around me..... I might not have been in the war room with Shining.... but I didn’t have to.... nothing added up.....” She finally took a sip of the soup. “I wish I could just...... go back and ask her..... if the war is going well..... why are the ponies of Canterlot waiting in bread lines?....... if humans are failing in mass..... why are the guard drafting colts in the middle of class?..... if conversion is the answer...... why can’t the Newfoals comprehend something as simple as.....creativity?”
“Twilight..... if you spoke up like that you could have ended up like Luna!” The tears were flowing freely now, as the young Drake started to imagine what could have happened to his big sister. “I-is that what you wanted to happen?! She brainwashed her own sister and locked her up in t-that....” He shuttered struggling to talk. “Y-you know, I-I read that report the.... hospital she’s at....” He looked up. “Did you?.....”
She shook her head. “...N-no I... haven’t..... I-I was too busy with the r-reservations....”
Spike shook his head. “B-before you start talking about what you should have said to Celestia look at what happened to the only mare who spoke up! T-then t-think about what it would mean f-for S-Shining... C-cadence...F-Flurry.. o-or me......” He stood up from his chair. “I’m not hungry anymore.....”
Twilight watched the drake waddle off to his room before pushing her meal to the side. She just folded her forelegs together and rested her head down, her appetite was spoiled too.
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After sulking for a while Twilight finally got up from her chair taking another bite from her now stale grilled cheese. She forced the rest of it down before taking the two bowls of soup into her magic. After pouring the contents into a tupperware she deposited it all into the fridge.
Biting her lip she made her way through the house to Spikes door. Testing the knob she frowned feeling it was locked. “Spike....... I’m sorry..... it’s not fair to you what I’m doing.....” She sniffed. “B-but with all that’s happened..... I-I can’t just sit here and do nothing! Ponies are suffering! I-I want.....” The sound of the door unlocking broke her from her rant.
The door opened to a cried out drake. “You want to help...... I know...... but.... you can lead a horse to water but can’t make them drink.....” he said using the old human phrase. “I-I know you want to help them...... but..... their scared and upset from everything that’s happened....... y-you going out there..... you're making them remember..... her..... even Cadence and Flurry avoid the reservations now.....”
“But..... what am I supposed to do...... I’m the princ-..... administrator of the reservations...... h-how can I know how to help if ponies won’t tell me?....” She frowned.
“......maybe start small and general?...... y-your trying to do this like a friendship problem the map gave you....” He motioned it was ok for her to come in as he made his way back to his bed.
“But..... shouldn’t I at least try to ask them what they need?.....” She hesitantly followed him to his bed.
“You tried that...... at best they won’t give you the time of day....” He nodded his head, Twilight promptly sat down next to him.
“So what do I do?.....” she deflated a bit.
“Maybe..... you could talk with some charities....... get some more direct aid into the reservations... I remember you got some letters from the Peace Bank..... you could see if they would open an office here....”
“That seems so.... impersonal though......” She frowned while wrapping her foreleg around the dragon to pull him close.
“Well..... being personal with ponies hasn’t worked out well......” He leaned against her. “They.... just aren’t ready to see an Alicorn again....”
Twilight seems to be deep in thought about what the young dragon said frowning further bur eventually nodding. “I’ll go find their letters to us... maybe getting them to open a line of credit to the reservation will help... It's impersonal..... but maybe your right.”
Spike smiled leaning against her while they just relaxed for a few quiet moments.
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Eventually Twilight had to tuck Spike in for the night, as it was starting to get late. The outburst also emotionally drained the hatchling, but she was thankful he wouldn’t go to sleep upset. Once he was sound asleep from the story she slowly set the paperback copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone on the shelf near his bed. She then gently snuck out smiling as she watched him sleep a bit more before closing the door.
She gently trotted to her small office down the hall, where through the crack in the door she could already see a large stack of papers on her desk. As she trotted inside, eventually making her way to the chair in front of the black vinyl-wrapped particle board desk. Cheep, but stylish, though she rarely cared for such things, it did its job and that is what was important. Looking at the pile of letters as if it was a precarious Jenga tower she started to work through the pile top to bottom.
The sounds of flittering papers occasionally broken with the scribbling of a pen. They ranged from invoices about the costs of actually pathing the reservation roads to the occasional formal invitation to a new factory or mine opening. She rejected the invitations and hoof wrote an equally formal apology that she would be able to attend. Bit by bit the pile shrunk down to a more manageable size until she finally found the letters from the Peace Bank.
Tearing them open she started to read, relieved that they were already asking to open offices in the green zones on a trial basis. Once she had completed reading all five letters she began to draft her response.
“Dear Board Members of the Peace Bank, I thank you for your interest in the reservations. I would like to formally invite you to open an office should the offer still be available. I can open a parcel of land for you within a few weeks, as I have to approve it first with the United States Federal Trust of Equestrian Reservations. But I do not foresee any issues getting their approval for this venture. I look forward to hearing from you all. Signed Prin..... Signed, the Administrator of the Equestrian Reservations Twilight Sparkle.” She started to fold up the letter and slip it into an envelope and slipped it into the outgoing mail pile.
Once the last bit of mail was read through and sorted she finally peered over an opened envelope. The return address a bit faded but unmistakable, Ablow Psychiatric Hospital. Reaching her hoof over she grasped the yellow envelope feeling it’s considerable heft for a moment before using her magic to pull out the documents. It was quite a hefty bundle of patient forms. She couldn’t help but marvel at it for a moment before catching view of the patient's photo.
The blue mare was a far cry from what she remembered, mane cut short, her formally long elegant horn scarcely more than a nub, but the face? Gone was the proud olde royal visage, replaced with a look of a filly seemingly trying to hide behind her mane, wide eyes shyly avoiding the camera. She forced herself to read the information below the photo. Her frown returned as she was confronted with one of the costs of her long inaction.