3,000 years ago…..(Translated from Greek for our own benefit.)
“Are we all in attendance?” Zeus asked from the center of his throne.
“Aye” The other Olympians in attendance said, Hephaestus, Dionysus, Hera, Athena, Poseidon, Apollo, Ares, Aphrodite, Artemis, Demeter, Hermes, and even Hades were all sitting on their respective thrones/stools.
“May I ask brother why we are all here? Especially me,” Hades questioned, he hadn’t seen Olympus in eons since he had been banished for doing absolutely nothing wrong.
“I will get to that, but as this is also a solstice we must discuss anything of interest in our respective realms of control. Would you like to start, brother?” Zeus said, gesturing to Poseidon.
“Yes I would,” Poseidon stood up on the octopus limbs he had that day, “Nothing is of interest in my kingdom other than I have had to ban my daughter, Kymopoleia, from my palace for destroying my stuff.” He sat back down.
Apollo stood up next, “The sun still rises and sets as it usually does. Music, art, literature, and dance are all still on the rise and they are all flourishing in the world.”
“Typhon is still being used to heat my forge and he is not getting out of there anytime soon,” Hephaestus spoke up, opting to sit down with his leg.
“I make things grow, what do you expect?” Demeter said with her scythe by her side.
“People are still falling in love all around the world. Oh, it is so romantic!” Aphrodite fanned her face as she fell down onto her throne.
“The Peloponnesian War is still going on strong and is on track to becoming a part of history as one of Greece’s biggest wars,” Ares twirled his spear in one of his hands idly.
“People are still getting married wonderfully and remaining loyal, unlike some people I know,” Hera glared at Zeus at the end of her statement to punctuate her message.
“Yeah, honey, about that….” He replied, “We all need to have children with humans, and the old fashioned way too Athena.”
Athena grumbled something about, “People always singling her out because she thought of a better way to have children.”
“What are you talking about Zeus? You know how protective Persephone is… She doesn’t like me going 100 yards near a mortal women in order to ‘woo’ them. Remember the mint girl?” Hades complained. Aphrodite who had been eating some mint-chocolate ice cream immediately got a disgusted look on her face and spit out the mouthful that she had just eaten. After which she vaporized the entire tub and shuddered.
“You see… there is a prophecy that the Delphic oracle told me. I couldn’t make sense of most of it, but I did manage to get the gist of it. Which is that we need to have one child each.”
“Pops, are you telling me that you went to the Delphic oracle without telling me?” Apollo asked, splaying his hands together and pursing his lips.
Zeus suddenly got a bit paler, “I have heard this sort of ‘calling’ recently to go see the oracle. So I went there the other day to see what was going on.”
“Dad, did you say that you had a ‘calling? Were you on Flight 828 or something?” Dionysus looked around with a smile on his face before frowning, “Oh right, that isn’t for another 3,000 years. Of course no one would get that joke.”
“Ignoring what my brother said. Dad -everyone- I have warned you all many, many times not to go to any oracles without me being there! Gods always get more important prophecies since we live longer! Do you not remember the ‘Prophecy of Seven’?” Apollo scolded everyone. They all shrank back and some of them even blushed slightly from the outburst.
“That’s why I decided to tell you. I think that we should all go to see the oracle and hear what she says so that you can interpret it for us.”
“Pops, are you sure about this? It could drive you insane if I do that. We will never know when it happens.”
“Actually I do know, it takes place in about 3,000 years. It says at the very beginning.”
“Say what now?” Apollo was stunned. Not in all the time that he was alive had he heard of a prophecy that actually told it’s victims when it would happen. “Why would the oracle do that?”
“I don’t know, maybe because she doesn’t want the virgin goddesses to have children all the time.”
“That...actually makes quite a bit of sense. Surprisingly,” Apollo started pacing around the throne room thinking out the problem, “If I bring all of you with me then I won’t have to prepare for you to come in one at a time and I can just do one big session. But then I won’t be able to hear the prophecy before hand to make sure no one freaks out…”
“Brother, I did not know that it took this much for you to prepare for us,” Artemis spoke up for the first time during the conversation, causing some of the people that were around her to jump.
“It is one of the few things that I take seriously in my domain. One wrong prophecy can lead to the end of the world, the only thing that is as important to me as my role in that is driving the sun.” Apollo told her, “I will begin preparations for us to hear the prophecy tomorrow. I need to rest for now to gain my energy.”
With that Apollo left in a flash of light, causing the other gods to dismiss themselves for the night as they retired after the meeting they just had, all dreaming about monsters coming from the ground. Well, except for Dionysus who was dreaming about wine and cake. What is up with that dude? Anyways the gods all assembled in the morning outside the cave of Delphi. Apollo was explaining the rules as he walked around.
“...and never talk while the oracle is telling the prophecy, if I can’t hear then the chances are that I won’t be able to decipher it. And the most important rule of all… don’t ever try to stop the prophecy from happening. Many people have tried to avoid prophecies all together only to fall into their own prophecy and be their own undoing,” Apollo explained, looking dead into the eyes of all of the assembled gods.
“Okay, watch out for the future got it,” Hermes said.
“Pretty much.”
Inside the cave Apollo had laid out incense and yoga mats. So after the gods entered the Oracle's Den they sat down on their respective mats looking towards the Oracle so that they could hear what she had to say.
“Oh Great Delphic Oracle! Please grant us your wisdom today so that we may know more about our futures!” Apollo prayed from his head mat before sitting back as green mist started spilling out from the oracle’s mouth.
“In three-thousand years this will come true:
First Seven Shall Be Found
In Order To Gain The High Ground
Do not Underestimate Her Power
For Things Will Turn Quite Sour
But Before You Defeat This Foe
The Other Six Will Have To Know.”
Apollo could only say one thing, “Holy-!”