//------------------------------// // Rainbow - Bad Faith // Story: One on One Philosophy with Discord // by CrackedInkWell //------------------------------// To an outsider, especially towards an untrained flyer – what Rainbow Dash was doing looks complicated. All the twists and turns, when her wings are propelling her forward or gliding, even down to what angle her wings had to be when in a certain area would easily give even the most expert mathematicians headaches. Yet, to the Wonderbolt, the routine came to her as natural as the thin air she’s breathing. To be able to have the endurance of a bodybuilder with the grace of a ballerina, yet as tactical as a general in battle, is what Rainbow was brilliant at – even when she doesn’t realize it.    In time with her teammates, she stuck the landing perfectly. Breathing in deeply, she smiled up with pride at her Captain. Spitfire lifted her goggles, “Phew! Good, now that time around was better. Clipper, you were a little close during position twenty-three, Crash, you were ahead of me during position fifty-one. Slowpoke, work on position eighty-nine. But besides that, great job! Hit the showers, and until next week, you’re all dismissed.”   They saluted and the Wonderbolts began to make their way towards the showers.    “We’re gonna blow Manehattan away in no time,” Rainbow looked over to the pony that was talking to her. It was Thunderlane who lifted his goggles. “That was almost perfect that time.”   “Kinda disappointing,” Rainbow shrugged. “But at least Spitfire is happy with it, and I’m looking forward to the show.”   “Yeah, I see what you mean.” He nodded. “Still, I can’t wait to get home. I have this chili recipe I wanna try all week.”   “Well, I’m glad you’re looking forward to it.”    “What do you mean?”   “It’s just… don’t get me wrong, I love being in the Wonderbolts as much as the rest of you guys. I really do. But since Twilight has roped us into her school, it’s just getting harder and harder to juggle between this, teaching, and trying to have enough room to breathe.”   “I take it you don’t like teaching?”   “Well not at first, but once I got to be the P.E. teacher, things have gone smoothly. Still, it’s just hard to maintain two official jobs, ya know.”   “Sure,” Thunderlane nodded, “so… why don’t you just quite one of your jobs?”   Rainbow sighed. “I can’t. I still need to pay for my bills and such. And given the life I have, you have to work hard so that you can play hard too. It’s not that I don’t like being a Wonderbolt or teaching, it’s just I wish that I had more time.”   “Yeah, I get you. You just wish you have some free time. Believe me, if I had that, I would look into taking cooking classes to improve my skills.”   “Too bad we’re not exactly free in that.”   “Well hold on,” Thunderlane raised an eyebrow, “who’s saying that we can’t?”   “Life did,” Rainbow said, telling Thunderlane goodbye before heading towards the mare’s locker room.   After putting her uniform away and grabbing the soaps, shampoo, and towel she needed, Rainbow also picked up another item from her locker. A waterproof radio she got as a Hearth’s Warming gift. She often used this in the shower to give her something to listen to. Music mostly, but at least it’s better than to hear nothing but water streaming down in an endless white noise.    She picked a stall, set her things aside and turned on the water. After that, she turned on the radio and began to wash her mane.   “-op. It’s the soapiest, soap soap that ever been soaped.” This was the first thing Rainbow heard. She supposed that it must be some advertisement when then she heard a familiar voice on the radio.   “Welcome to the show. Today’s topic for our listeners has something to do with an important philosophical idea called: Bad Faith.”   Rainbow paused. What was this?   “This was pioneered by the Prench existential philosopher, Sartre, who identified a problem that many don’t seem to notice in modern life. Something that he called ‘Mauvaise Foi,’ literally translated to ‘bad faith.’”   Rainbow blinked. Did she accidently turn the dial? She thought she would be hearing music by now. She stretched out her wing to change it. But the voice still kept coming through.   “In plain Equestrian-”   Click.   “Bad faith is when you-”   Click.   “Lie to yourself to spare-”   Click.   “Yourself from short term-”   Click.   “Pain. In doing so, cause long term-”   Click.   “Psychological impoverishment. Forcing yourself to believe in something that you’re not really convinced by-”   Click.   “Because it’s easier. And what is that lie?”   Click.   “Simply that we believe we don’t have any options available to us at all times.”   Click.   “In truth, we always do, but we tend to curiously find it more reassuring to tell ourselves that we don’t.”   ‘Is this guy on every station?’ Rainbow wondered. “What the hay is going on?”   “So, to help me and you listeners at home,” the voice continued. “I have brought in a special guest. Here to help illustrate the mindset of Bad Faith, she is the Hero of Equestria, has joined the Wonderbolts, and is taking a shower. Here she is, Rainbow Dash!”   Before she could wipe the water from her eyes, she suddenly heard a thud. Quickly grabbing a towel, she quickly dried her face to find that the wall that once held up the showerhead has fallen over, and behind it was Discord near a radio microphone with other electronic equipment. The pipes were now broken and spewing all over between them.   “Discord!” Rainbow shouted, trying to wrap herself in the towel. “What the actual hay!”   “Welcome to the show, Rainbow!” Discord greeted her.    “What’s all this?!”   “This is my radio show. Armchair 10.3. And today, you are my lucky guest to come on to talk about-”   “I was in the middle of a shower, Discord!” She interrupted him. “Can’t you do this some other time? Preferably never?”   “Now Rainbow,” the Draconequus said, speaking into the microphone, “this is important. These listeners from across the world would benefit greatly, and, might I add, so would you. Come,” he waved his bird-like talon to conjure up a comfy armchair, “have a seat.”   “You’re not gonna leave me alone unless I do this, aren’t ya?” Rainbow deadpanned and Discord nodded. After quickly drying herself off, she plopped herself down in the chair and another radio microphone pops up from underneath the floor. “So, what do you want, Discord?”   “Well, I happened to be in the neighborhood when I heard you say the following…” The walls of the small room were lifted up suddenly by a crane made out of cranes. Rainbow looked around to see that she was back in the airfield, watching herself and the other Wonderbolts being told by Spitfire that they were dismissed.    At a particular moment in the conversation where she was talking to Thunderlane, Discord dipped his microphone overhead them.    “Yeah, I get you.” Thunderlane said. “You just wish you have some free time. Believe me, if I had that, I would look into taking cooking classes to improve my skills.”   “Too bad we’re not exactly free in that.”   “Well hold on,” the stallion raised an eyebrow, “who’s saying that we can’t?”   “Life did,” Rainbow said, telling Thunderlane goodbye before heading towards the mare’s locker room. Looking up from the armchair, Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “So… what’s wrong with that?”   “On the outset, nothing,” Discord replied, bringing the microphone back to him. “But what you have demonstrated for our audience is a prime example of the idea of Bad Faith.”   “Bad, what?”   “In a nutshell, Bad Faith is the idea that we tell ourselves this lie where we’re just stuck with this job or with that partner. That we needed the money to be stable. That we can’t pick up and go somewhere else simply because we’re not free to do so.”   “It’s true, isn’t it?”   Discord sucked in some air. “Ohh… Not quite.” He said, starting to walk away, taking Rainbow in the armchair with him. “The truth is, as much as you want to convince yourself that you’re destined to be both a Wonderbolt and a teacher by the writers in the sky… I’m afraid that I have terrible, devastating news for you.”   “What are you talking about?”   “I’m afraid, dear Rainbow,” Discord wrapped his lion arm around her, “that you are condemned to be free.”   Rainbow Dash blinked… and blinked again. “How the hey is that bad news? I thought being free is a good thing.”   “Well to get into the why, allow me to paint the scene.” A snap and a flash later, while Rainbow was still in the armchair, she looked around to see that they were in a crowded café where Prench words were buzzing in her ears. Discord sat down at a tiny table with a white tablecloth across from her. He pointed over while still talking into the microphone. “The Philosopher Sartre has this famous example of what we’re talking about today. Inside a Prench café, there is a waiter. That one, over there by that table.”    Rainbow looked over to who he was pointing at. Immediately she spotted a stallion, bow tie around his neck and a clean white apron over his withers. In his aura, he carried a tray filled with plates and cups. “Okay…” She said, “What about him?”   “Notice how overly devoted he is to his job. Almost as if he had always been a waiter all his life instead of a pony that is free. Look at his movements; how too quick and forward he is; how mechanically précised and rapid he is; how he comes to the customers with a step that seems too quick; how he bends forward towards them a little too eagerly; even his voice, eye contact, the whole face seemed a little too desperate for the customer’s orders. Do you see?”   “Well… yeah? So what?”   “What you are seeing, is a tragedy in the making. This poor sucker has fully convinced himself that he’s just – well – a waiter instead of a free being. For all we know, he could be a risk-taking inventor, the fifth Beatle, a mountain climber even. But no, he’s just a waiter.”    As he was talking, the waiter came by while he kept talking.   “If you were to ask him why his job is a waiter, you’d probably get-”   “I’m only a waiter, mousier, it is my lot in life. There’s not much choice in the matter, for I do need the money.” The waiter said before trotting away.   “But I don’t see how this is a problem.” Rainbow pointed out. “Maybe that guy is just good at being a waiter. Chances are, he got his cutie mark in… waiting or something…”   “That is a legitimate argument.” Discord nodded. “Even I don’t deny that be it ponies or not, everyone has that special talent about themselves in which they are very good at. Sometimes, those with cutie marks tend to go into a job that has something to do with what they see as the only good talent they have. However, even this is deceiving.”   “How?”   “Let me ask you this.” Discord leaned forward. “You’re a Wonderbolt, right?” She nodded. “Why?”   “Why what?”   “Why are you a Wonderbolt? You say that you’re one of the best flyers out there, and a hero no less. You could have easily gone as an adventure like Daring Do to explore unknown regions of the world. You could have become a professional athlete in Buckball. You could have joined in the Royal Guard. So why this, very specific thing?”   “Easy, it’s because I’ve trained myself for years to become the fastest flyer in Equestria. And the Wonderbolts have always been my heroes. As a filly, those were the guys I wanna be. They were fast, they can do stuff that very few fliers could, and they’ve always pushed themselves to become the best of the best. It took me a long time, but I finally got the chance to join their ranks.”   “Even so, have you ever thought about doing something else?”   Rainbow blinked. “What do you mean?”   Discord gave a couple of claps. Gone was the Prench café and in its place was an empty white void. “Let’s pretend,” he said, his voice echoed, “that your fillyhood was completely different. And before you say anything,” he held his lion paw up to her snout, “in this thought experiment, let’s pretend that somehow your Sonic Rainboom didn’t have much effect on Equestria as a whole. That everything is more or less the same except for you. Got that? Good. Now put that imagination of yours to good use and try to think about this question: if you didn’t become a famous flyer, what would you be?”   She thought about this for a moment. “Huh… Honestly, I have no idea. I have been so focused on doing cool stuff like flying that I have no idea what I would do if I wasn’t.”   “I could probably name a few.” Discord said, “Prankster, Weather Control, Mountain Climber, Explorer, Adventure, Mail Mare, Soldier, P.E Teacher, Salespony, shall I go on? I could do this all day.”   “But I’ve already done those things, and more.”   “Exactly.” He nodded. “That is what I’m getting at. Who you are can’t just be pinned down to doing one job or have this particular type of relationship. Your very being is much bigger than that. It is, in Sartre’s words, ‘All things you are at present not, but could possibly become.’”   “In other words,” Rainbow blinked, “that I’m much more than just a flyer or a Wonderbolt.”   “Yes! Now we’re getting somewhere!” Discord said excitedly, jumping in the air and staying there. “Now that you’re starting to get it, let me ask again if you were not Rainbow Dash the Wonderbolt, then who else would you have been?”   “I guess…” Rainbow put a hoof to her chin, “If I had my way, I would be like Daring Do. Someone who would be willing to go into the Jungle to save ancient artifacts from bad guys. To discover lost civilizations, forgotten to time. Maybe, not just in the jungle too, but go everywhere from the mountains near Griffonstone to deep into the oceans.   “Oh! Maybe I could create new gags for pranks. Maybe start up a joke factory like Cheese Sandwich did. If I had Pinkie with me, we can come up with all sorts of stuff to make Equestria laugh hard and long.   “Then again, I can probably stick around for teaching at Twilight’s school. Besides, the students there love me. And I’ve helped create several sports teams that I was able to get students excited for.   “Or how about-”    “Funny,” Discord interrupted, “and here I thought you can’t do any of those things because you have a job as a Wonderbolt.”   “I…” Rainbow trailed off as it slowly dawned on her. But suddenly, she shook her head. “Just because I’m able to do all that stuff, doesn’t mean that I can just get up and quit from the Wonderbolts to do something else.”   “Or can you?” Discord questioned, this time the scene changed to the inside of Rainbow’s cloud home in the middle of the night. In particular, inside the Pegasus’s bedroom. She saw herself lying in bed, laying wide awake, staring at the ceiling. “How many nights have kept you awake because it dawns on you that you’re far freer than you thought? How often do you have to acknowledge that you might be wasting your life and, in the end, it’s all your fault, regardless of how often you’re tempted to blame this circumstance or that pony?”   “Well… fine, you caught me. Sure, there have been times that I may have stayed up a few nights. Sometimes I kinda wondered what I would do if I wasn’t able to get onto the Wonderbolts.”   “And yet, what do you do the morning after? Do you still have those thoughts?”   “Not really. I just go on with my day.”   “Ah yes,” Discord nodded. “This is what is known as Negative Ecstasy. In plain Equestrian, it means that despite knowing what keeps you up at night, you force yourself to believe in what you’re doing is all that is. For this price, you close off any other opportunities for changing and improving your life.”   “But I like being in the Wonderbolts,” Rainbow interjected, “it’s been my dream job.”   “Yes. But even then, does the idea of being confined into only one job forever and ever amen sound the least bit appealing?”   Rainbow nodded, “Okay, I’m starting to see your point. I am not just pinned down to doing one job. My life’s story is about making changes. I guess you have a point that just because I found my dream job, doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t want to do something else.” She frowned. “But why is that? Where does this whole ‘Bad Faith’ thing come from?”   “Well… there is a theory,” the scene changed again, this time inside a richly decorated dining room in the middle of the day. Seated across from one another in a state of sulking was, what Rainbow identified quickly as Filthy Rich and Spoiled Rich. Both not looking at one another with a grim frown on their faces. “Sartre had identified this common feature in unhappily married couples. He noticed this beginning to grow in early dates, where deep down, both of the couple realized that they’re don’t match, but still force themselves to believe that they can like fitting a square block through a round hole and be happy together.”   “But that doesn’t make sense.” Rainbow objected. “If they knew that it wouldn’t work out, why would they stay?”   “It’s all quite simple.” Discord explained. “You see Spoiled over there? Once upon a time, she had wanted to be loved for her mind while living off of somepony’s wealth. At the start, she couldn’t pay attention to her dark suspicion that Filthy over here is interested in her body. Meanwhile,” he pointed to the husband, “he realizes early on that she isn’t interested in him physically, but lied to himself that surely, she must be. As a result of lying to themselves, they end up together, unhappy, and that’s why Diamond was born. It’s thanks to this Bad Faith, they will continuously throw the blame onto each other. Saying that it’s their coldness or lack of compassion that’s at fault. Neither wanting to face the reality that this is of their own doing.”   “Sheesh!” Rainbow railed back. “That’s depressing.”   “From a certain perspective, sure.” Discord agreed, changing the scene again. The walls and furniture sank into the either and were replaced by the familiar surroundings of the lobby of the Wonderbolt academy. Complete with the blue and yellow motif, cloud couches, and pictures of past stunts. “However, Sartre never saw this problem as surprising or unusual. If anything, it’s just the way the mind works. He never wanted anyone to learn about his philosophy to feel bad, rather, as a simple reminder to have folks like you to be as free as you really are.”   “Well, even if that’s true, what do you want me to do anyway?”   Discord smiled, “The next time you think that you feel stuck in this or that job, where you are in a relationship that feels like it’s your last chance, or that you’re just too busy – always remember, even when it doesn’t look like it, you are much freer than you think. There’s no shame in being anxious about having options that have no info. Sometimes, you’ll have to learn how to liberate yourself.”   “Huh… I guess that’s actually not bad advice.”   “This is Discord at Armchair 10.3 saying, never stop thinking.”    “Who are you talking to?” Rainbow jerked her head around, next to her was Thunderlane, and looking around, Discord and the armchair she was sitting in has disappeared. Rainbow was sitting on one of the cloud couches and didn’t realize it until she looked down.   “Well, nopony now.” She replied, hopping off. Pausing for a moment, a thought came to her. “Hey Thunderlane, what’s the most chaotic thing you’ve ever cooked up?”   The stallion thought for a moment, “The time that I tried and failed to make spaghetti toffee. Why?”   “Would you mind cooking up some of that?” She asked. “I think I owe someone a certain thank you gift.”