//------------------------------// // Shipping Out // Story: Never Alone // by SoloBrony //------------------------------// "What do you mean, I cannot accompany her?!" Luna's voice was loud enough to echo around the castle, and it made my fur stand on end. I took a deep breath and held up a hoof. Stay calm, Starlight. Just like dealing with any angry parent, be firm, but be understanding. "It's good that you're worried for your daughter, Princess, but if you go with her it will just make things worse. Please believe me, the map chooses the right ponies for the job, and having others interfere may cause them to fail their quest altogether. When I went to resolve the problem in Canterlot, Twilight's interjections almost made me lose the confidence I needed to help you and Celestia!" Luna was clearly ready to lay into me, and I laid my ears back in anticipation, but Cozy interrupted her by pressing a hoof to her barrel. She looked down to see Cozy staring up at her in concern. "Mom, please calm down. I promise I'll be really careful, okay? And Applejack will be with me! She won't let anything happen!" Luna hesitated, looking between Cozy and me. I resisted the urge to interject, knowing that this was between them. Luna seemed to be about to relent, but then Cozy spoke up again. "If you really don't want me to go, I won't, okay? Just say the word and I'll stay right here. I don't want to make you worry about me." Whoa. That's new. Is she really that worried about how Luna feels? Luna sighed, and nuzzled her daughter. "I appreciate the thought, but I cannot ask you to ignore this call, regardless of my feelings." She looked up at Applejack. "You do promise to keep my daughter safe, don't you?" Applejack took off her hat and held it over her barrel, nodding. "I'll do whatever I can to see she comes home, sure enough. I doubt the map would send us into anything we can't handle, anyhow." Luna nodded, and gently disengaged from Cozy. She fixed her eyes back on me. "And you are quite certain that accompanying her would only multiply her troubles?" I seized up slightly at the sudden, intense attention, and nodded uncomfortably. "That seems to be how it works. Twilight made it pretty clear after the incident in Canterlot that we should avoid interfering with friendship quests from now on." Luna blew a breath out their her lips in annoyance. "Well, I shan't question her dictates, especially in regards to her demesne of specialty. I suppose there's nothing for it, then." She looked back down to Cozy. "Do take care, sweetie." Finally! I was worried I'd have to get Twilight involved to resolve this. Cozy smiled, though she still looked concerned. "I'll be fine, but, are you sure you're okay with it?" Luna nodded, tossing her mane back. "I do have confidence in your abilities, Cozy. I'm certain you will resolve the matter in question admirably. I simply wish to be close at hoof in case... well, in case you need me. But it seems that is not an option." Cozy flew up and gave Luna a hug, seeming to take her completely by surprise. "Thanks, Mom. I know you're here for me." Wait, I don't think I've ever seen Cozy initiate physical contact like that before. That's a good sign, right? My counseling training suggested it should be, but I couldn't entirely stomp out the suspicion of her being manipulative. Then again, it sure seemed sincere. Luna gently wrapped a hoof around Cozy, and smiled. Applejack and I traded a look, and I took a deep breath and cleared my throat to cut through some of the awkwardness. "Okay! Let's go get some train tickets!" I glanced at the filly sharing the car with me. She'd propped her head up with her hoof, elbow on the windowsill, while we were still in the station, and hadn't moved from that position since. The scenery flew by, but she barely seemed to register it. Really, the only reaction I'd been able to see were those creepy black crystals running through her wings seeming to grow a little more dull as we pulled out from the station. Could've been a trick of the light, I guessed, but those things worried me either way. I slid over in my seat, until I was seated directly across from her, and screwed up the nerve to try talking to her. "Cozy? Everythin' alright?" Cozy didn't even react for a couple of seconds, to the point I wondered if I was getting the silent treatment. She didn't even make eye contact when she spoke to me. "I'm just a little worried about Mom, is all." I felt an eyebrow creep up at that. "She ain't the one on a quest, though. You're worried 'cuz she's worried about you?" Cozy sighed and leaned away from the window. I wasn't sure if I was irritating her just by speaking to her; it was almost impossible to get a read on that filly. "No, it's not that. Just, last night, we had a talk, and she said she wasn't sure where to put her hoof down with me." I snorted. "Can't exactly blame'r on that account." I immediately regretted saying that, but Cozy just nodded, surprising me. "Yeah, I know." She leaned back and threw her hooves up. "I know! That's the whole thing, I've been independent and disobedient and downright evil, and... now everypony's being so nice to me, and they're scared I'll snap and cause even more trouble." She sighed and rested her hooves in front of her, kneading the seat slightly as she continued. "And I did snap. I did cause more trouble. You and everypony else had to show up just to make sure I didn't hurt anypony. So of course she's walking on eggshells around me; like you said, can't really blame her, right?" I winced, scrambling to fix whatever this was. "Whoa, nelly. I didn't know this was botherin' you so much." I frowned. "Though, guess I shouldn't be surprised. Still it's not like you don't wanna be independent, right? I mean..." I tried to pick my words carefully, rubbing my fetlocks together slightly, "it's not like you want her to be puttin' her hoof down and tellin' you what to do, right?" Cozy looked up at me plaintively, and my sense of panic grew worse when I realized there were tears in her eyes. "I don't want her to be scared to! I'm not just going to fly off the handle and run away or hurt her or something just because she's trying to parent me! I-I mean I don't think I've been perfect since I got back, but I've tried to do whatever she asked a-and be quiet during the day, and... she should only have to act that way around me if I'm a bad filly, a-and I'm not... right?" I clamped down on my panic and set my jaw. "Bad fillies don't worry about bein' bad in the first place. I ain't been around you two much, but it's pretty dang clear you care about each other, so I'd say you don't need to be worryin' about that so much. Y'know she loves you, right?" Cozy flinched slightly, taking me by surprise again. I just couldn't seem to get a handle on this conversation. "Of course! I love her too! That's why I'm worried in the first place..." She seemed to be lost for words and glanced back out of the window. I suspected it was as much because she wanted to clamp down on her feelings as anything else, but I welcomed the chance to get my thoughts together. I was halfway to a response when she spoke up again. "How can I be a good daughter?" I took a deep breath. "That's a tough one, alright... every family's different, so I can't just tell you what I've been doin' and hope it applies just the same. The fact you're askin' is definitely a good sign, though." Cozy looked down at her seat and shook her head. "It doesn't feel like enough." I chewed my lip. "Y'know, friendship an' family's not about grand gestures or anythin' like that. It's just about bein' there for the ones you love." "But I'm not doing that if she's afraid to even reprimand me." For a second, I was tempted to go over there and comfort the filly, but I didn't. What she needed was help working this out in her head, not just a reassuring presence. I shook my head. "Well, what were you doin' just before we left, then? I saw you tryin' to put her mind at ease; that's exactly what family is all about. You think about what someone else needs, you get to it. It's just those two parts; consider their feelings, then act on that." Cozy looked up at me, eyes wide and vulnerable. It really threw me for a loop to see her like that. "Is that really all there is to it?" I nodded firmly. "Pretty much. And you're a strategist, right? That's what I've heard your special talent is." She nodded slowly, and I shrugged as I went on. "Then there's nothin' to worry about. Just strategize around makin' her happy. I mean, don't go behind her back or nothin' funny like that, but just, put thought into it. I'm sure you'll figure it out in no time." Cozy took a deep breath and looked back out her window. "I'll do that... Thanks, Applejack." I tipped my hat. "Anytime." Silence returned to our traincar, and it gave me a chance to really get my thoughts in order. Anypony could see she was different as soon as she came back, but I couldn't've guessed she'd be this different. I guess Discord wasn't exaggerating when he said she lived a totally different life during those moons she was gone. I could never have pictured Cozy Glow, the cackling, explosive-tempered evil filly that tried to wipe out all magic would be sitting here fretting over how to be a better daughter. I settled back in my seat and watched some of the scenery go by. Then again, who would've thought Starlight 'wipe out the cutie marks' Glimmer would become a school counselor, helping kids understand their special talents and places in the world? Or that Discord would try, in his own weird way, to help Twilight become a better ruler of Equestria? Life has a funny way of workin' out. My thoughts went back to the filly's explosive outburst at Bree. Still got one mighty temper on her, and she's not afraid to push back when somepony goes after her. So why was she afraid of us? Even now, she seems nervous about even speaking to me. I chewed it over, and then hit on a pattern. She's not afraid of ponies attacking her, she's afraid of them telling her she's bad. She's afraid of them being right. I eyed Cozy contemplatively. She'd taken to swaying her legs back and forth under the seat as she watched the scenery, with a far-away look and pursed lips that spoke of serious worries. "Y'know," I said, stretching out, "the map wouldn't've called you if you weren't a good filly." She glanced at me in surprise, and I tipped my hat up and met her eyes as I went on. "Willin' an' able to help others. I'd heard you worked as a hero before, and the map callin' you confirms it, in my eyes. It makes sense." Cozy nodded, leaning back a bit and settling in. "Thanks. It means a lot to hear you say that. I've been trying to get back to heroics since I returned, but I haven't really had much luck so far." I vaguely recalled Starlight saying something to that effect, and nodded. "Right, I'd heard. What's that all about, anyway?" Cozy fidgeted. "Well, in the other world, I was happy. So, at first, I was just trying to get back to that. But I'm not really unhappy, anymore... it's just that, I don't really feel like I'm going anywhere without it. It's what I want to do." I nodded, leaning back and lowering the rim of my hat slightly to block some of the light streaming through the window so I could focus on her better. "That makes sense, I s'pose. You had a purpose, and you want to get back to it." She looked back out the window, contemplating for a short while. "I think, maybe, the kind of hero I was over there isn't the same as what I want to be, anymore. I was always the first one to any fight I could find, but, well... while I did some good, there was a lot of time where I was just training, and for all the good I did, I'm pretty sure any really serious problems would have been handled even without me. To a degree I guess I was just showing off." She looked distinctly uncomfortable, frowning and fidgeting, and I just huffed at her. "Filly, if you ran into the fray and protected innocent ponies, puttin' yourself at risk, that's not just showin' off." Cozy fidgeted. "I'm not saying I didn't do any good, or that I wouldn't like to keep doing that. I guess I've just got different priorities." I supposed there was no point in trying to guess, with this filly. "Such as?" Cozy grimaced. "I don't know, just... like I said, Equestria already has heroes. And I really believe that nothing will ever manage to just, I don't know, wipe us all out or topple Equestria or whatever. Not as long as our friendships stay strong, anyway. I think the Battle of the Bell proved that beyond a doubt." I shuffled in place slightly, uncomfortable with where this was going. "So... you don't think you need to be a hero, because we've got it covered?" Cozy shook her head vehemently, which set my mind a bit more at ease. "No, that's not it! I mean, even though villains always lose, sometimes they cause a lot of damage, first! I caused a lot of damage! I want to be there to protect ponies, I just feel like..." she chewed her lip and shuddered slightly, and I worried she might be getting upset. She took a deep breath and sighed, though, getting herself under control. "I don't think I was making enough of a difference. I can't be satisfied just running around and fighting whenever a monster shows up." I wasn't sure if I would regret asking, but I did anyway. "You were satisfied before, though, weren't you? What's changed?" "I did!" She startled me as she suddenly turned to face me again, visibly upset. "Before, I was just trying to be a good 'super hero'. It was, like, a job, or a hobby, or something! It was a thing I did I felt good about and that I defined myself by. But I don't care about that stuff anymore – or, no, what I mean is I don't care about it the same way. I don't want to be a hero, I just... want to make a difference." She took a deep breath and pressed her forelegs together. "I want to feel – I want to know I'm making Equestria better." I took a stiff breath. "Look, I can't claim to totally get what's botherin' ya, but that sounds heroic to me." I was expecting another objection, but Cozy just nodded. "Yeah, I know. But before, I would have cared about it because it was heroic. And so, as a hero, that was my job. Now, I don't care whether it's heroic or not, I just care about it. Does that... make sense?" I nodded, feeling more confident I had a handle on this at last. "Sure." She looked up in surprise. "Really?" "Yep. I do understand that part. When I was little – before I got my cutie mark – I did chores because it was what Granny asked me to do. I didn't much care for the farm; matter of fact, I actually tried to leave it behind. It was only when I stepped away from it that I started to understand why we did the chores, why Granny cared about the farm... and realized that I did, too. Nowadays, I'm as likely to be the one givin' chores out as bein' asked. I reckon you're goin' through somethin' similar." Cozy looked down at her hooves in thought. "It does sound a lot like what happened to me, doesn't it?" I nodded, folding my forelegs. "Does to me, at least. Though it sounds like you're maybe reconsiderin' how the farm is run, in your case; gonna make some changes when you get back to your place in the world." She looked up and nodded. "But I don't even know what changes to make, yet." I shrugged. "Then what you need to do next is pretty clear, filly." She cocked her head. "Really? What?" I smiled at her. "Find out what sorta hero you wanna be after all." She contemplated that, and smiled back at me. "Thanks again, Applejack." "Like I said; anytime."