//------------------------------// // 435 - Disorderly Conduct // Story: Lateral Movement // by Alzrius //------------------------------// Everypony’s eyes widened as Luna’s wings were restored. But no cheers filled the room. No one cried out in joy or relief. Every face was bereft of smiles, instead displaying expressions of shock or confusion or anger. Chief among that last group was Princess Celestia, a dark look crossing her face as she turned her eyes back toward the draconequus in their midst. “Discord! This isn’t funny!” The source of her anger was abundantly clear: Luna’s wings had been returned to her, but nothing else had. Her body hadn’t recovered the several inches of height that it had lost as a result of Lex’s curse. Nor had her mane regained its sparkling luster and gentle billowing, remaining the same drab blue it had been a moment ago. But the most peculiar change, as well as the most unnerving, was located on her head. Her horn, there only moments ago, was now gone. Whereas before she had looked to be no different than an ordinary unicorn, Luna now appeared to be an ordinary pegasus. Zecora was the first to echo Princess Celestia’s sentiment, looking away from where Luna was examining herself with a distraught expression to give Discord an irate glare. “What you’ve done was not the deal. All her losses you said you’d heal.” “Honestly,” chimed in Rarity, her voice dripping with disdain. “You’ve always had a terrible sense of humor, but this is really just too much.” “Even for you, this is low,” agreed Shining Armor. Fluttershy, however, seemed more disappointed than upset. “Discord, how could you? Can’t you see that Princess Luna is suffering?” But rather than laughing or waving the harsh words away, Discord just stared at Luna with a look of incomprehension on his face before glancing down at his hand. “That’s strange,” he muttered at last. “I distinctly wanted to change her back into her alicorn-y self again. So why isn’t she?” “You’re sayin’ you didn’t mean for this to happen?” Applejack didn’t even try to keep the skepticism out of her voice, raising one eyebrow as she gave Discord a disbelieving look. “I’m telling you,” protested Discord with a huff, “I was trying to turn her back to normal!” “So why didn’t it work?” Unlike her friends, Twilight’s face showed concern rather than anger, not liking what Discord was implying. That both she and Cadance had failed to remove Lex’s curse had been strange, but this was even more so. It had always taken the Elements of Harmony to rein in Discord’s magic. The idea that somepony could cast spells of similar power all on their own was disquieting to say the least. Which is all the more reason why picking a fight is a bad idea, she knew. Oblivious to her thoughts, Discord scratched his head. “That’s a bit of a thinker,” he admitted, sitting down and propping his chin on his first in a display of deep consideration, his body turning into a statue a second later. But the pose lasted for all of two seconds before he suddenly stretched, the rocky covering cracking and flaking off as he hopped back up and gave a shrug. “I suppose I’m just so chaotic I surprise myself sometimes. Don’t worry, this next one should do it.” Without waiting for any further commentary, he snapped his fingers one more time. This time Princess Luna regained the stature she’d had before, a few inches taller once again. But just like before, that was the only part of her that was fixed. Not only was her horn not restored, but her wings were gone once more, and her hair stayed dull and unmoving. Frowning in consternation, Discord snapped again. This time Luna returned to the state she’d been in before he’d shown up, having her horn but lacking the characteristics of pegasi or earth ponies. A half-dozen attempts followed, causing Luna to change in rapid sequence. But each change manifested the features of only a single tribe of ponies. A horn, or wings, or a larger build, but never more than one at a time. And in none of those forms did her mane and tail regain the flowing effulgence they’d previously possessed when she’d been an alicorn. After the final attempt, leaving her once again as a unicorn, Discord stopped. For a few seconds he simply looked at Luna again, his expression nonplussed, before he turned to face everyone else – particularly Fluttershy – with a nervous grin. “Alright, so I don’t seem to be able to turn her back, but the important thing is that I tried, right? So we’re still good where the whole Tirek thing is concerned?” Licking his lips, Line Byline gave Twilight a nervous look, his face pale. “So…does this mean that Lex Legis is more powerful than Discord?” The draconequus in question frowned at that. “Excuse me, Lex who?” “Lex Legis,” moaned Cozy, looking vaguely ill at this latest testament to Lex’s power. “The pony who cursed Princess Luna,” added Pillow. Sighing, Twilight stepped in, giving Discord a brief rundown of who Lex was, what they knew of his powers, and what he’d done to Luna. Her explanation ended with her giving a worried look back at the Royal Sisters. Luna looked to be in a state of mild shock, staring down at the floor sightlessly, though whether it was from having another possibility of being restored be so thoroughly dashed or because she’d just had her body changed several times in a row was unclear. Princess Celestia, by contrast, looked deeply worried about her sister, one wing around her in a silent gesture of support. Discord also glanced at the pair when Twilight had finished, but unlike the princesses the only emotion on his face was indignation. “No no no, this won’t do at all,” he announced. “Some bargain bin knockoff of King Sombra overshadowing the Lord of Chaos? I can’t think of anything more embarrassing!” “Good to see your heart’s in the right place,” muttered Soft Mane sarcastically. “We still have our original plan,” pointed out Cadance, walking over to gently place a hoof on Luna’s side. “Once the crystal ponies that we sent out make their way back to the Crystal Empire, we’ll be able to use the Crystal Heart at full power. That should be able to undo Lex’s curse.” That seemed to do the trick, causing Luna to take a deep breath, swallowing before giving a shallow nod, the corners of her lips turning up in a wan smile. The sight made Celestia smile as well, along with most of the room’s other occupants. But not all of them. “Oh please,” scoffed Discord, crossing his arms over his chest. “There’s no way some piddling little piece of crystal jewelry could do more than I could.” “I seem to remember the Elements of Harmony doin’ a number on you,” drawled Applejack. Twilight’s eyes suddenly lit up, an excited gasp escaping her lips. “That’s it!” Smiling, she turned to Discord. “I know a way you can help after all. Pinkie Pie, along with two fillies named Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, are currently lost on another world called Everglow. Can you bring them back to Equestria?” Discord’s response came with a roll of his eyes. “Honestly Twilight, I thought you were supposed to be the smart one. With my powers you think you’d be able to come up with something a little greater than having me act as a glorified dogcatcher.” The words were barely out of his mouth when he snapped his fingers, appearing in a white uniform and cap with a long-handled net in one hand, complete with a yipping puppy inside. “C’mon Discord, give them a break,” urged Spike. “Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash went looking in that world for a really long time and couldn’t find them. It’d be really great if you could bring them back now.” “Those girls’ parents ain’t worryin’ yet, but I dunno how much longer it’ll be before they realize that their daughters’ve been gone too long,” added Applejack, looking down guiltily. “We had Spike send messages to Pinkie telling her to meet us at an inn we know in a city called Viljatown over there,” explained Twilight further. “We waited and waited, but she never showed up. And since she can’t cast the spell to send a message back to Spike, we don’t know why. So if you can bring her and those fillies back now, that would really help us out a lot.” “I could do that,” admitted Discord. “Or, just a thought: I could summon that Lex fellow here instead, and we could all show him what for.” A snap of the fingers made Discord’s dogcatcher outfit disappear, puppy and all, to be replaced by a sign splattered with several images of the number four as well as multiple question marks, all in various sizes and colors. “I bet he’ll change Luna back all on his own when he sees that I can bury him beneath the world’s largest sandwich if he doesn’t, and then everypony will know that I was the one who saved the day!” “No!” shrieked Cozy. “That’s a terrible idea!” snapped Shining Armor. “Bring that monster here? Now?” Rarity’s eyes widened in horror. “You can’t be serious!” “Tut tut,” admonished Discord, still looking supremely pleased with his idea. “You haven’t seen the size of this sandwich.” “And if his sandwich turns out to be bigger than yours?” murmured Grass Patch nervously, her glances at her daughter betraying what, or rather who, she was worried about. Soft Mane didn’t look much better, wrapping her arms around herself as though the very thought of Lex appearing in front of her made her feel a chill. Discord’s eyes narrowed at the comment, but he didn’t have a chance to speak before Fluttershy flapped her wings and moved right in front of him. “Um, Discord?” she began hesitantly. “I know you feel bad that you couldn’t fix everything with Princess Luna, but you really don’t have to try so hard to make it up to us. We’re all really worried about Pinkie Pie, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon too, so if you could just bring them back, I’m sure everypony here would be really grateful. And I bet they’d all be willing to forgive you about what happened with Tirek too.” Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack all nodded at that, with Cadance, Zecora, and several others joining in as well. Princess Celestia did one better. “Fluttershy is correct.” Her voice was calm, but her usual understanding mien was gone, giving Discord a steely look. “Lex Legis needs to answer for what he’s done, but any attempt to bring him to heel will involve a conflict, and this is neither the time nor the place to engage in such a thing. Right now we need to focus on undoing the effects of his evil magic and reuniting Pinkie Pie with her friends, so that we can marshal all of our strength in preparation for when we face him again.” Discord’s expression turned sour before giving a resigned sigh. “Oh fine. If that’s what you all really want.” And then he snapped his fingers. The sound hadn’t even begun to fade before everypony started looking around, necks craning as they glanced to and fro. Rarity even lifted the tablecloth so she could peek under the conference table, her horn lighting up as she swiveled her head back and forth. But a moment later she came back out from under it, looking at Twilight and shaking her head. Nearby, Spike glanced at a tray of cupcakes suspiciously, having seen Pinkie pop out of the most unusual places before. But when he glanced between them, there was no pink party pony to be found, even after he ate a few to make absolutely sure that she wasn’t hiding among the sugary treats. “Discord…” Celestia’s voice was thick with warning. “Wait for it,” advised Discord with a smirk. A second later there was a knock at the door.