//------------------------------// // 001 - We ended up Here?! // Story: Welcome to Distopia // by LucidDreamer //------------------------------// He wasn’t an Anon. He expected to be an Anon. Wasn’t that supposed to be a thing in a place like this. On that note…. “Where’d he go!” “It isn’t every day that a new stallion shows up!” “Screw you, he’s mine!” “Why’s he heading to the Everfree! That’s too dangerous!” John flattened himself against the side of the house. He tried to keep his breathing to a dull roar. So this is what it was like to have normal lungs. “Come on! He probably doubled back!” “But what if he went-” “No stallion is brave enough to go into the Everfree.” “True…” He dared to peek out of his not-so-hidden hiding place. It looked like the mares were finally going to leave. Good. Huh. Maybe the Everfree isn’t a bad idea to go and figure things out. He slumped to his flank, finally taking note of where his blind run had taken him. It was a hill… with windows... and a door... Wait...  That was… “Oh my… Are you okay?” John stiffened. He gulped, then slowly turned towards the source. A familiar butter-yellow pegasus was poking her head out from behind the door in the hill. “I heard the commotion. Are you lost? A poor, defenseless stallion like you shouldn’t be out on your own. What if you got hurt? What if-” John put on his best smile. “I’ll be fine. Thanks.” With that, he turned and trotted away from the hill. “Wait! I can’t let you stay out here alone!” She’d followed him.  His eye twitched. “I’m fine. Thanks. I’m just going... this way.” He pointed a white hoof towards the treeline. “But that’s the Everfree!” The mare gasped. “Yep.” He nodded. “I’ve heard.” “But it’s-” “Dangerous. Yes. Everyone said.” John nodded, trotting towards the forest. “Thank you for being the one rational person who’s not dick-hungry.” “I can’t let you!” The mare landed in front of him and puffed her chest out. Her teal eyes were wide as she glared at him. “Excuse you?” He blinked at her. “I can’t let you potentially get hurt! I-I- I’m-” The mare seemed to be faltering. “Stay right there.” John walked around the butter pegasus. “No-” The mare whirled and grabbed onto one of his legs. “Hey! Stop that!” John yelped and tried to shake her off. He growled at her. “Oi! Leggo! Little-  Yellow- Anklebiter- Stahp!” From not that far away, a simultaneously floofy and scaley form heard the commotion. Lorraine couldn’t tell what exactly was fighting, or who for that matter. All that mattered at the moment was helping whoever was in trouble. She emerged from the forest. Pink-scaled legs, slowly plodded towards… A yellow pegasus with a light pink mane, teal eyes, and a mark of three pink butterflies on her flanks, was clinging for dear life to a flailing stallion. Said stallion was pearl white, with a short gray mane, a long, somewhat spiky gray tail, and bright blue-gray eyes. He was vigorously shaking his back right leg, trying to dislodge the mare. Neither noticed her approaching. “Ummmm… Hey? Is everything okay?” John, paused his shaking for a moment. His head turned as he started to speak. “Sorry, I’ve got aaaaaa…….” John’s eyes widened as his eyes met pink scales. He looked up at a face like a wolf. A pink-furred wolf face. With a large lion-like mane of orange hair. And with silver eyes. Errrr…. Silver eye. The left eye was a milky white. His jaw dropped. “Luck dragon…” He said dumbly. “Never ending story~” He sang as a grin split his lips. “What do you me-” The mare seemed to finally let go. “Eep!” “Finally something that I recognise in a non-aggressive state.” John said with a loud sigh. Lorraine binked at the stallion. She lowered her head to look at the stallion. While the yellow mare gaped at her. Her head tilted a little. “So, you’re from Earth. You sound familiar. Do I know you?” She blinked. “Oh. Right. Sorry, Hi I’m Lorraine.” John blinked. He leaned away as his eyes widened. “Lorraine? LORRAINE?!” He gasped out loud. “Oh My God!” Then he leapt forward and hugged her foreleg. “IneverexpectedthatI’dbeabletoseeyou.Imean,itkindafeltlikeapipedreamsometimes.Butitneverreallybotheredmethatmuchanyway.ButOhMyGodDarling!” John vomited out words until he ran out of breath. “Sang-? Wait, shit- What is your real name again?” The dragon asked. John took a deep breath. “Just John is fine. Or John Smith if you’re feeling Doctor-y.” She snorted. “Okay. John. That’s gonna take some getting used to.” She looked over at the mare. “And you are?” “I-I’m Fluttershy, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know he was yours. W-well not yours but-” ‘Fluttershy stammered. Lorraine just smiled. “Oh no, he’s mine.” “Yup.” Came from her leg. John hadn’t let go. “I am so sorry for- You know, I really need to feed the animals.” Fluttershy said with a nervous smile, then raced towards her home, slamming the door behind her. “Well that happened.” Lorraine said bluntly. “You okay?” John finally removed himself from her leg. “Yep. Ish. Kinda.” His smiled. “Just trying not to think too hard about anything in particular.” “Well, at least I don’t have to worry about medical stuff, and I’m a fuckin’ dragon. And I look awesome!” Lorraine puffed out her scaley chest proudly. “My girlfriend's a pretty dragon.” John said with a dumb grin on his face. “I mean, ya think so?” She cocked her head to the side. “Mum always said I looked good in pink.” “Best Pink Dagron Waifu.” John nodded. She looked at him, confused. “Why am I the waifu?” He shrugged. “I dunno. You just are.” He paused for a moment. “Oh, shit.” He grinned. “Now that you’re here. The mare’s in town won’t chase me like I’m a hunk of meat.” “They did what.” She said bluntly. “Yeah. I… Think this is a R. G. R. E. kinda thing.” John said with a frown and a bit of a hum. “Okay, so reversed gender roles.” Lorraine nodded, looking thoughtful. “Whelp, first things first, we need to find out how our new bodies work.” “I prefer not to think about it, but I’m game.” John shrugged. “Let’s go see if Twilight’s library is still a thing.” Lorraine made to move. “Can I ride you?” John asked, trotting up next to her foreleg. “Mmmm… Yeah sure.” She nodded, and he clambered up her leg to sit just above her shoulders. “Wooo!” He cheered throwing his forelegs in the air. Lorraine simply chuckled. They were getting looks. John didn’t like getting looks. Lorraine didn’t seem to notice. “Ummm, excuse me? Is that your stallion on your back?” A voice called out from somewhere near her leg. “Well, I don’t like objectifying him, but yeah? Why?” She stopped and looked down at… a mint green unicorn. “Well… See… How do I not be rude here… Eh, buck it. I want him to make me pregnant.” The mare said with a shrug, looking up at John. Lorraine’s head lowered until she was eye to eye with the mare. “He is a person, not just a dick and balls.” A quite polite smile grew on her face. The mare blinked. “Well… yeah… but, can’t you two not have foals?” “Ha! I plan to adopt.” Lorraine responded still smiling. “And that’s what we’re planning on finding out.” John spoke up. The mare blinked again. “Oh… kay. Well. Sorry for bothering you then.” “Library.” John groaned. Lorraine watched the mare leave. Then her smile dropped from her face. She kept walking. “It’s just like in the show…” John blinked at the Golden Oaks Library. “Oh thank God, no gaudy as shit castle.” Lorraine rolled her eyes. “Buy our toys!” John commented. Then they came to the door. It was a bit… small for the dragon. “Shit.” They said in unison. John slid down her leg made to trot towards the door. Then he paused. “Wait. You knock. I don’t trust any mare at the moment, especially an introverted bookworm like Twilight. It’s always the quiet ones.” “Do I have to?” She sighed. She paused and thought for a moment. “Yeah. Oaky. I’ll do it. Apparently I’m overprotective as fuck.” “And I feel all warm and fuzzy outside.” John chuckled. Lorraine blinked down at him, shrugged, looked at the door, then lifted a claw and knocked. “Hold on.” A voice called out. There was a moment, then the door opened. A small purple and green dragon froze the moment the door fully opened. Slowly, his green eyes rose to meet the luck dragon’s. “Hnnnnngh… He’s even cuter in person.” John grunted. “God dammit.” Lorraine muttered then smiled at the small dragon. “Hello, do you have any books on luck dragons?” “Uhhh… lemme check?” The small dragon backed away from the door. “Twi? Twilight?” There was a call from deeper in the library. “What?” “Do we have any books on luck dragons?” The dragon continued. “Yea- Wait did you say luck dragons?” Came the reply. “Yea-” The dragon was cut off as a purple flash announced the arrival of a purple unicorn. “Where’s the-” The violet-eyed mare looked around, until her eyes locked onto John. “Noooo.” He pointed a hoof at her. “No. Bad mare. Focusing on the giant pink floof dragon.” He thrust his hoof at Lorraine. “Don’t be rude.” Lorraine chidded at the stallion. “Sweetie, should I give you an example of what would happen, should I walk about ten feet to the left?” John asked raising a brow. “Well, they’re still people, utterly insane people, but still people.” Lorraine replied. John deadpanned. “I was running for thirty minutes.” “I reiterate, they’re insane.” Lorraine nodded. “Are you a luck dragon?” ‘Twilight’ spoke up. “I don’t know, I think so.” Lorraine looked unsure. “She looks like one to me.” John nodded. “But, you’re the professional here. Well… professional-ish.” “I… will be right back. I need to go write a letter.” Twilight backed into the library. “SPIKE!” “I’m right here Twi.” Came a response from inside. “Letter. Dear, Princess Celestia-” Twilght began. John’s ears twitched. There was murmuring. He looked around. A small crowd had started to gather around the pair and the library. There was more than a bit of murmuring. He turned his head around back to the library only to be met by bright blue eyes inches from his. “Hi!” “OHGODFUCKAHHHH!” John snapped as he physically leapt backwards and landed on his flank. A violently pink mare was grinning at him. “GoddammitPinkiedon’tkillmeareyoufuckinginsane!” John babbled wide-eyed at the mare. “Are you okay?” Lorraine asked, glancing between the stallion and the mare. “Fine. Just recovering from the sapient, walking jump-scare in a pink pony suit.” John nodded, getting back to his hooves. “Silly pony, my Pinkie suit’s back at Sugarcube Corner.” The mare replied. “Oh, and I’m Pinkie Pie, and here you go.” She held out a sealed letter to Lorraine. Lorraine took the letter and opened it. She blinked on looking at it. “And somehow I can read ponish. Okay.” “It’s an invitation.” Pinkie and John said at the same time. Pinkie looked at the stallion. John shrugged. “Good guess?” “Thanks, but no thanks.” Lorraine said, and returned the letter to Pinkie. “Awwww… why?” Pinkie looked a little sad. “It’s not your fault. We’re just introverted homebodies who don’t go out. Well, homebodies without a home.” John said quickly. Lorraine looked around at the gathered ponies. “Why are you all here?” “New creature.” “New ponies.” “A stallion.” “We’re bored.” “And how many of you are interested in my boyfriend?” She asked, pointing a claw at John. More than a few hooves raised. She took a deep breath, gathering herself. A smile, more of a bearing of teeth, twisted her features. “I would be perfectly happy, if this,” she gestured to the crowd, “wasn’t a thing. I would’ve been happy being sent anywhere else. I would take Hazbin Hotel over this. I would take Ni No Kuni over this. But Noooooo…. I finally get to meet my boyfriend, in a world where every single goddamned mare is after his dick. He is a person. A living, breathing, thinking, individual. So until you can learn to respect that, and his own wishes, Piss. Off.” “Well said.” A voice said from the library. Lorraine and John both looked to see a bright white alicorn and a dark blue alicorn coming out of the library. “I’m sorry, wut?” Lorraine said stupidly. “While perhaps a little crude-” The white alicorn started. “Sister, I found her speech to be quite wonderful. Piss Off!” The blue alicorn boomed. “Oh, I’m going to be hearing this for awhile.” The pair actually heard the white alicorn mutter, before her regal bearing returned in full. “This luck dragon is right, my little ponies.” “She said the thing.” John giggled quietly. “Did I just get validated by the princesses?” Lorraine asked quietly. “They are new here, and don’t know the ways of this world.” The white mare continued. “They do not understand the societal norms. Please, leave them be so they may adjust.” Like puppies caught chewing on furniture, the crowd dispersed. “I believe we need to have a chat.” The white mare said with a smile at the stallion and luck dragon. “And this was for you.” The blue mare levitated out what looked like a piece of copy paper. Lorraine took it. It read. From: EldRich@Inf-mail.com Re: Shit this was supposed to go to Lorraine! Sorry. Give this to the pink luck dragon. Lorraine! You’re a luck dragon now. Have fun with your boyfriend. P.S. Oh, and we copied your souls. So there’s a version of you two still in your previous lives, so no worries there. P.P.S. Sorry, just checked you’re in one of those Equestrias. I am so sorry. We’ll send some stuff your way when we get time just to make some things more bearable. We got you two a house. So… Enjoy and sorry again! Lorraine blinked. “Okay. Where’s the house.” “Right this way.” The white mare said gesturing a hoof. The four sat in a large living room. Well, Loraine did her best ouroboros impression as she had to loop herself around the living room, resting her head on her fluffy tail. She was pressed up against numerous bookshelves, an entertainment center, and large deep blue curtain that covered the doorway outside. John sat on a blue sofa in the center of the room and faced the two lay-z-boy recliners that the Princesses sat in. “So…. Lemme get this straight. You want to pay us, to simply exist as a couple?” John asked. “So you can be an example to our ponies, yes.” Celestia nodded. “The trend that had developed over my time away, I find quite disturbing.” Luna said. “It never would have happened if I ruled. Not saying that you made a poor decision sister!” She quickly added looking at Celestia. “I am going to have to bring up an argument to that.” Lorraine spoke up. “We spend most of all day, every day inside. How is that an example? Ponies would have to see us.” “You do have to go out shopping, yes?” Celestia said with a small smile. “Once a week.” Lorraine grunted. “Perhaps a date night. Or even going to a different store to purchase more of your video games. Add me, I’m Th3NightPrincess.” Luna added. “You could attempt to make some friends. Perhaps Twilight Sparkle. Do you wish to change size Lorraine? She would have the books for spells, or perhaps the knowledge herself.” “Counterpoint. We can have date nights at home, and why can’t you just show me how to change size?” Lorraine countered. “And why would I do that? What would you learn from it?” Luna asked with a smile. “I’d learn that not everyone is out to get us.” Lorraine continued her dual of words. “Peace you two.” John spoke up. “Valid points, both sides, but, Luna. Could you provide the spell? I wouldn’t mind actually being able to get my arms around my girlfriend.” “Are you calling your marefriend fat?” Celstia asked. “Wut.” John blinked at the alicorn. Lorriane on the other hand, started laughing. “Fine, I suppose. As a hoof held out in offering.” Luna sighed and lit her horn. The luck dragon was engulfed in a blue aura, before she quickly shrunk to a smaller, more pony-ish size. “Okay. Thanks. I’ll try to make some friends.” Lorraine said, getting up to walk over to the couch so she could sit next to John. She muttered. “God I wish we were in Hazbin.” “I will do my best to go out. I went out daily back home previously, so I hope I can maintain that. Barring, of course, that I don’t get pounced on by all of the mares.” John said with a roll of the eyes. “Making an effort is all we ask.” Celestia nodded. “We may send some confidants with a bit more control to check on you two every-so-often.” “So, question, I’m a luck dragon. What does that mean exactly.” Lorraine asked as John leaned against her. “In ancient days, luck dragons were icons of light and purity. They banished the darkness with their very presence. Sadly not many still live.” Luna shook her head. “They were hunted to near extinction. Their claws, you see, are potent magical foci, usable for any number of spells for both good and ill.” “Sweetie, you’ve got magic hands.” John commented, nuzzling her cheek. “Uhhhh….. Didn’t anyone try to talk it out, or was common language not a thing?” Lorraine asked. “Those were the dark times. Talk rarely happened.” Luna said grimly. “Okay? Anything about my biology I should know?” Lorraine asked. “Your first quest, read a book.” Celestia spoke up. “Okay you got one?” Lorraine asked. Celestia’s horn lit and there was a ~poof~. A large tome appeared and fell to the floor. “An Equestrian Bestiary, Fifth Edition, by Silent Moon.” “Dibs!” John pounced on the tome. “What’s it say about Luck Dragons?” Lorraine asked. John rapidly flipped through the pages. “Ahem… The luck dragon is an icon of purity and light. Said to be incredibly lucky due to it’s high concentration of positive energy, luck dragons are incredibly long-lived and boast potent magical powers primarily focusing on the Sky, Stars, Sun, Moon, and Light. Luck dragons primarily lair in cliffs or mountain caves, and outfit said homes with finery they purchase with their own scales. Luck dragons are quite charismatic and take to others well. They use their magical powers to protect their friends and those that they consider family.” “I mean, I wouldn’t call myself charismatic, but okay.” Lorraine interjected. “I think you are.” John looked back at her, then continued. “Ah, luck dragons can potentially procreate with any species and lay a clutch of a single egg, which will always be another luck dragon. Though there are rare cases where the luck dragon can actually choose the race of the father species instead.” John nodded. “Good to know, for later…. Yeah later. Ahem. Anyway.” “Does it say anything about luck dragons being prudes? Cause, you know, I am one.” Lorraine asked. “Ehhhh…..” John  looked through the lines. “Noooo… Well…. Luck dragons are highly selective of who they partner with, and in certain circumstances, may procreate magically if the partner is unable to procreate biologically. Oh, huh. One sec. An unusual side-effect of the luck dragon’s magical nature is that potential partners will gravitate towards them once they reach adulthood. Ha! So I’m not alone!” He barked a laugh. “Sorry, but…. Snnrk…” “Oh, God dammit.” Lorraine groaned. “So, you will be, what is the term I heard online… you will have to beat them off with sticks.” Luna said with a grin. “Both of us.” John nodded. “Pray that they are not into that sort of thing.” Celestia commented. “Excuse you Princess?!” John snapped staring at her. “Who would even come after me?” Lorraine said, slightly exasperated. John raised a hoof. “Me.” “You don’t count.” Lorraine rolled her eyes. “Well, shall we leave you two to get settled?” Celestia asked, somehow gracefully getting up from her recliner. Luna, on the other hand, rolled off and flopped to the floor before getting up. “Uhh… Sure?” John shrugged. “I mean, It’s not like we have any plans.” “Sister. May we stay for a time?” Luna asked. Meanwhile, Lorraine walked over and blinked at the shelves of consoles. PonyStation met her eyes. “Huh.” She rolled open a drawer, only to see two rows of PonyStation games. “Cool.” “I suppose.” Celestia said with a small smile. “I did say it was an emergency. Cadence should be fine.” “Wait. Wait. Lorraine.” John looked over to her. “Do we have an equivalent to a Switch and Super Smash Brothers?” Lorraine pulled open a drawer. “Yep.” She nodded. “Swee-” ~Fwumph~ “Duh fuq?” Lorraine turned around at the green flash. She blinked and saw… A small changeling drone. The only noticeable difference was the blue-grey eyes. “Sweetie…. I’m holey….” John commented shaking his new holey hooves. “Oh, apologies, we thought you knew.” Luna spoke up. “Problems for later. Smash Bros. now.” John gestured at the TV with a holey hoof. Lorraine finally rebooted. “On the plus side, you’re cute.” “Huh~” John gasped. “I felt that.” He put his hooves to his barrel. “It was a warm, fuzzy feeling.” Lorraine blinked. “Cool.” She turned around and started setting up the console. “Oh sweet, we have actual controllers.” “To the games then!” Luna cheered as she leapt onto the couch. “Make way for small bug.” John joined her. Lorraine sat next to her boyfriend. “Well, things could be worse.”