Dan and friends were all happy to see Doctor Whooves getting the upper hoof on the Mechbeth. Despite the danger, the Doctor had braved it to save them all from certain destruction, charging head-first and jumping on the flying creature like it was a raging mechanical flying bull. A bull with a massive claw that launched armor-piercing spears.
"Doctor Whooves is finally back to his old self," Phoenix remarked. He smiled. "I don't know whether I should be glad or deeply, deeply concerned."
"Eeyep. Something like that, Nicky. Definitely one of those two, but anyway, Doctor Whooves is back," Dan said confidently. Then he immediately followed it with, "Ten bits says he falls off that thing."
"Well, at least Rarity can catch him if he does," Phoenix said.
"Hold that thought. Spears again!" Dan shouted. Another volley of spears rained down on them but a lot less precise than before. Doctor Whooves was apparently having an effect on the Mechbeth. Rarity's shield deflected the few that would've come close to the passengers.
On the Mechbeth itself, Doctor Whooves was indeed back to his old Doctor-y self. Using the magically-enhanced spears, he ripped his way through the machine's armor. Designed to resist magical, energy and ballistic weapons, the Mechbeth's armor was nearly impervious to attacks. Like Rice's Magic Gears, they were not impervious to themselves.
Of course, the now-once-again-good Doctor didn't really notice this; he was too busy using the spears to rip apart the machinery of the Mechbeth bit by bit.
"Ha-hahaha! You'll have to excuse me, mammoth moth, but I didn't bring my giant fly swatter with me, but rest assured! Your insides will be on display just the same!" He ripped into the metal of its back until finally, some wires exposed themselves.
The Doctor was good at rewiring things. In most universes(and most timelines in said universes) followed similar principles of wiring. Smaller, longer wires generally went to subsystems and larger wires were for more critical systems and the power supply. The smallest and usually clustered bunches of wires and cables were reserved for internal security and control, so if one unplugged or rewired those, they could gain control of the machine very easily... or transfer that control to something else.
Instinctively, he reached for his trademarked sonic screwdriver. The handy little tool had saved his life on more than one occasion and was useful for many things, including delicately tampering with robots. But it wasn't there, he remembered, having lost it to Rice Puddinghead while trying to break out Twilight and the others.
But instead of breaking down in that moment of recalling his failure, he laughed. And that was when the machine powered down on its own.
"What's going on?" Phoenix asked.
"I don't know. Who touched something?" Dan asked, turning around twice. They all lurched forward hard as the train's wheels began screeching.
"Now arriving: Bursavis Prison Complex. All visitors, please have proper identification ready and all prisoners, please be ready to surrender your freedom. Have a nice day."
The train rapidly ground to a halt. Just before it did, it entered a larger building, and continued on into it, grinding and screeching all the while, until it finally stopped.
"Well, we're here," Phoenix announced.
"AAAAAAAHHH!!"
"You owe me ten bits, Nicky. Rarity?"
"I've got him!" The lady pony caught the falling Doctor.
"Ahhhh... umm, thank you, my lady."
Rarity smiled. "Just returning the favor. But you're more than welcome, dearie." She carefully let him down. Behind them, the Mechbeth crashed and slid off the top of the train.
"Please stand clear of the do-Please stand clear of the do-Please stand clear of the do-Please stand clear of the do-"
The doors to leave the train malfunctioned and sparked. A gash ran through the top of it and had likely severed something sensitive. One side of the door tried to move while the other did nothing.
"Door's not working," Phoenix stated the obvious. (Really hope they don't bill us for all of this. Or try to sue us when we don't pay.)
"Nicky, Stevie, boost me up. We'll climb out through the sunroof."
"Dan, this train doesn't have a sunroof." And even as Cap said that, Dan was dragging one of the spears to widen the hole in the ceiling.
"It does no-" Dan was about to say, then was immediately cut off.
"Please stand clear of the do-Please stand clear of the doerzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt*"
A pink beam of light stabbed its way through the door. Slowly, it began to cut upward, severing the door from its hinges before disappearing again. And in through stepped a familiar face.
"Well well well," an equally-familiar voice said. "I do hope we enjoyed the ride."
"Sammy!" Dan exclaimed. Arms thrown wide, he rushed right over to embrace his donkey friend. "I was wondering when you were going to-GRRRGH!"
Samule L. Jackson smiled widely at Dan. While choking his windpipe. "It's nice to see you too, Dan. You know, I was just thinking I should stop by for a visit. To Equestria. Remember?"
Dan did remember, but was having trouble speaking with Samule's hoof clamped around his throat and was more preoccupied by trying to flail and claw at it for breath.
"There's just one little problem I encountered, Dan. It seems Equestria... isn't there any more. Why isn't it there, Dan?"
"We blew it up-
"I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GODDAMN THING," Samule shouted at the incredibly talented Phil LaMarr. I mean Phoenix Wright.
"Excuse me, kind sir-" Captain America said, approaching Samule. And those were two things he shouldn't have done: approach Samule L. Jackson and try to speak to him.
"I'm sorry- do I look like a 'kind sir'? Does this- what I'm doing to your friend look like something a 'kind sir' would do to you?"
"N-no-"
"NO, no it does not. Get the fuck back, blue beetle. Now Dan, I asked you a question," Samule said, "Do you remember... Equestria?"
Dan nodded.
"Oh good! I'm so glad you do. Do you remember who was in charge of train security in Equestria?"
"Excuse me," Doctor Whooves interrupted, which everybody thought was a bad idea. "I see you're getting acquainted with our friend's voice box, but perhaps I could facilitate a more beneficial arrange-"
"Who the fuck said you could talk? Limey motherfucker- oh wait," he dropped Dan. And pulled out his lightsaber. "You're the one he just wrecked our new security device."
"O-oh dear," Whooves said. "I believe I can explain."
"Explain? What does Princess Luna look like?"
"Wh-what?"
Samule ripped the sofa off the floor, flipping it over in one single, violent move. "What country are you from?"
"What?"
"WHAT?" Samule repeated, ""What" ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak english in What?"
Doctor Whooves tripped and wound up with his back to the wall. He could only ask, "What?"
"ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?"
He nodded. "Y-yes!"
"Then you know what I'm saying. DESCRIBE what Princess Luna LOOKS LIKE."
But the Doctor didn't understand. "What?!"
Samule L. Jackson stabbed the wall an inch from his neck. "Say what again- I dare you, I DOUBLE-dare you, motherfucker- Say WHAT one more goddamn time."
"Sammy!" Dan exclaimed again, and patted him on the shoulder. "How ya been, buddy? Great to see you!"
And everyone else was shocked at Dan's bizarre gesture towards the enraged donkey. But Dan kept doing it, patting his back repeatedly as if he didn't know he was patting an unstable brick of TNT.
Samule slowly turned to Dan. "Stop. Touching. Me."
"Sammy, why are you acting so grumpy? Put the toy down," Dan said, and grabbed his other hoof and gently encouraged him to lower his lightsaber. "See? That's better?"
"Th-thank you, D-Dan."
"Chin up, Doco, get off the floor. This is my good friend Mr. Samule L. Jackson."
"Good friend. Right," Samule rolled his eyes.
"At least you stopped him before he started quoting the Bible," Chris said.
"Shhhh. That's done now. Right Sammy?" Dan grinned while the bald donkey just glared back at him. "Still? Seriously, what's gotten up your jackass?"
"Dan," he began, "do you happen to recall what I told you the last time you were on one of my trains?"
"Uhhhhhhh..."
"Remain. Seated," Samule stated in a way that could be only described as Samuel L. Jackson. Yes, you read that right. He turned and began making his way out of the train car.
"Well, c'mon, that was a long time ago. It's not like you even knew we were in Donquestria," Dan said.
"I did," Samule casually countered. "Who do you think sent this train to get you in the first place?"
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," went everybody else.
"Exactly. But you didn't remain in the passenger car and crossed cabins WITHOUT waiting for a designated safe transit period and armed the security system WHILE it was updating!" Samule yelled.
"Y-yeah," Phoenix said, rubbing his neck again. "We're sorry about that."
"Yeah, I'm sure you are. Not only that, you destroyed your country's rail lines, completely wrecking what passes for the power system here and threw everything else out of whack," Samule said.
"So, wait," Phoenix said, "You KNEW we were in Donquestria?"
"Mm-hmm," he said, leading them all out of the train and onto the platform. "Moment you left Appleloosa, as a matter of fact. My job as chief of security is to know who's coming and who's going in my kingdom."
"Then why didn't you send the train earlier?"
"As I said," he stopped to adjust his boots. It was just then Phoenix and Dan realized he was wearing body armor. He picked up a helmet that had been one by one of the benches on the platform. "The power system is currently out of whack. Our two nations have shared a power grid, which runs along the railroad lines, so by destroying your country, you also took ours down a few notches, too."
"Ohhh... crap," Phoenix said.
"Hey, Sammy, we're sorry about that," Dan said. "To be fair, that was mostly me."
"Mm-hmm. And who tore up my train?"
"Mostly me."
"And who's going to be paying me back?"
"Mostly... well, all of us," Dan said.
"You're goddamn right," he said, slapping his helmet on. "Speaking of which, you all might want to stop by the armory before we head into the prison, get the right accessories. Toys, as you say. There's a riot in progress."
"C-can I move now?" Doctor Whooves asked.
"Yes, Doctor," everybody else said.
"That lasted long. You still owe me ten bits, Nicky."
"No."