//------------------------------// // 8 - The Pony of Chaos, Part 1 - The Light of Your Cutie Mark // Story: Anarchy: Pony of Chaos // by Ninjadeadbeard //------------------------------// “Alright, alright… Ann!” Little Cheese pointed out his bestest best friend with one hoof and a malicious grin, “Truth or Dare!?” She stuck her head out of her sleeping bag, her eyes up in thought while her tongue hung loose from her muzzle. “Hmmm… dawe!” Pearl Rose sighed, “Honestly? It’s not fair for somepony who can do anything to just do a dare.” Six little creatures, the current batch of Cutie Mark Crusaders, sat around a roaring campfire, enjoying a night out under the stars, deep in the White Tail Woods, roasting marshmallows on an open campfire. Well, they would… if the night sky weren’t filled with celestial sheep and spiders in place of stars. And if the moon weren't a half-eaten cheese wheel. It would also help if the pine trees weren’t cardboard cutouts with gummy treats in place of leaves, and if the roaring campfire weren’t a tiny, flickering lightbulb wherein a tinier, dancing Princess Celestia dwelled, providing some light, but little heat. The marshmallows were real, however. As were the s’mores. The yummy, yummy s’mores! And even though the Little Celestia didn’t generate much in the way of heat, Shady was more than happy to reach out with his flaming Nirik-ized hoof to help make the wonderful, wonderful treats. “I mean, look at your room, dear!” Pearl waved one hoof about to indicate the space they currently occupied, “Where did your bed go?” Ann shrugged, “I didn’t want a bed if all of you had to sleep without one, and it had a lot of paid time off built up.” Moon’s chuckle could be heard high up above, where he hung from one of the fake tree branches. Goldie swallowed her latest s’more, and giggled as well, “Well, I at least appreciate it. This is soooo cozy!” The downy griffon nestled down deep into her own sleeping bag, purring as she went. Cheese shook his head at her, then returned a malevolent smile back to the Ponequus he’d called on. “Dare, huh? Hmmm…” he tapped his hooves together as he thought. Shady held up another set of marshmallows in his magic, and with a slight grunt of effort he set the top of his mane alight to allow them to cook just above him. “Well, whatever you dare her to do,” he smiled, adjusting his glasses with an upward flick of his head, “Don’t do anything involving water. It takes me forever to dry off and make fire again, so I won’t be able to make more s’mores in the meantime.” “Turn me into a bowling ball!” Cheese suddenly cried out, eyes blindingly bright. Ann scrunched up her nose and narrowed her eyes to focus on something at the end of her nose, “I… what?” Pearl just rolled her eyes. “Where do you get these ideas, Cheese?” “Mom said to never tell,” the little colt briefly shifted from a manic grin to a shadowed, haunted glare… and right back to smiling gayly as he decided to egg his friend on with, “Come on! Ya gotta do it!” “You suwe?” Ann frowned, “I’m getting bettew at duplication, and twansma… twansmogr… uh, changin’ things. But I don’t know if I could change you back.” “Huh?” Cheese scratched at one ear, “But you turned your Grandpa and the Princesses to stone the first time we hanged out…” Pearl shrieked, “YOU WHAT!?” “… and they’re fine! What’s different now?” “I didn’t put them back,” Ann crossed her forelegs and rubbed them together in slight embarrassment, “That was Dad. Chaos… at least, the Chaos I can do, can’t fix stuff. I can only change things…” Her eyes went out of focus for an instant, before another lightbulb (this one without a tiny Celestia) popped into existence right above her head, sending a wild look across her face. With quick, jerky movements, she pulled one of her blue wings out of the sleeping bag, and after a few experimental stretches, she snapped with the wing’s ‘fingers’. In a flash, Cheese stood in the center of a pony-sized plastic sphere, which lay at one end of a bowling lane set into the forest floor. The other Crusaders stood around, still with marshmallows and s’mores at hoof, all looking excitedly down to the end of the lane… Where a set of white bowling pins, each topped with Angel Bunny’s face and ears, stood. Ann locked eyes with each of the creatures around her room, before giving Cheese back the same wicked grin as he’d started with. He was practically prancing in place as she looked to their friends and said: “Who’s going fiwst?” Such was the fun, the shrill squealing and shrieks of delight that followed, that none of the Crusaders noticed a single stain-glass window high up on Ann’s quantumly locatable wall. The stain-glass, which last week held an unflattering depiction of Ann’s Dad, and just this week had been shifted to a dramatic reenactment of the Crusader’s Buckball game against Flawless Gem, currently depicted a simple, purple coated filly with a purple mane and a small, propeller-topped hat on her head. The stain-glass filly smiled, then left the window for parts unknown… … or at least a few stories down, in Discord’s parlor room. The simple space had wood-paneled walls and a shag rug so fluffy it growled at mailponies and begged for treats. There was a small snooker table in the center, surrounded by chairs of every type and style imaginable and unimaginable. And while a small group of tiny dogs seemed content to play poker on a folding-table set up in the center of the snooker one, the seats around the larger table were occupied by only two creatures. Discord sat agitatedly in his tall, ornate throne, while Fluttershy sipped hot chocolate in her cushioned wicker chair. Technically, after a few moments more, three creatures occupied the chairs in the room, if one counted the purple filly as she rematerialized back into her seat, which was shaped precisely like a whoopee cushion atop a Styrofoam pool-noodle. “Wow!” she said, the swirling madness that was her eyes latching onto the drink she’d left behind on her little spying mission. As she took a swig of the silly-putty and castor oil concoction, she smiled, “That’s a sweet little kid you got there, Dad… uh… sorry, Discord.” The Draconequus smiled himself, though a touch sadly. “It’s alright, Screwball. I’m used to being called that here.” “Right,” the filly’s cheeks burned red for a second, “Sorry, it slips out whenever I switch backstories… Um… my compliments to the chef, M- oh, Fluttershy… sorry…” Fluttershy just smiled back at her… huh. She wasn’t entirely sure what Screwball was to her. Alternate Dimension Daughter? Bit of a muzzle-full. “Thank you, Screwball. I hope your actual mother is doing well.” The purple filly smiled and nodded, then turned an inquisitive look towards her Not!Dad-equus. “So, what’s the problem? The Me of this universe seems pretty sweet and kind, all things considered,” Screwball listened to the thunderous boom up above, “But she’s still clearly Spirit of Chaos material. Hey, you think after this I could stop by and join…?” Discord daintily sipped at a mug full of pinecones painted in silver and azure before turning his attention towards his guest. “Oh, I know she can handle it. She’s got Fluttershy for a mother.” “Aw!” Fluttershy blushed and looked away, just to hide her little smile. Screwball made a ‘blech’ face in turn. Parents, no matter what dimension they came from, were disgustingly schmaltzy. “But…?” she leaned over the table, nearly planting her elbow on the poker-playing St Bernard, who was on a winning streak that the Terrier found suspicious. This had been a weird request for a meet-up, even by Chaos standards, so Screwball was giving Discord her best swirly-eyed Stare. The swirling eye trick was usually enough to unnerve other creatures, but Discord took it in stride. He gritted his teeth, and took a deep, deep breath. The truth, he often thought to himself, is so much worse when you have to say it out loud. “I… I’m worried,” he finally managed, “She’s getting better at using her powers. She can duplicate and change things around… she can even see Chaos, unfiltered!” “Okay…?” Screwball took another sip of her drink. Fluttershy reached out one hoof, and laid it down on Discord’s claw, which rested on the table, just behind the Chihuahua. She then turned her large, painfully blue eyes back towards their guest, and said, “Um… I know I don’t understand some of these things as much as you or Discord can, but, uh, I think what he’s trying to say is that Ann doesn’t seem to have noticed the Fourth Wall.” She looked up at Discord, “Was that right?” A gentle claw cupped her face in response, a little scratch behind her ears and along her muzzle. She giggled, quietly. “Quite right, my dear,” Discord sighed. His eyebrows knitted together in a frown. “Ann can’t see the readers. She doesn’t understand cross-medial references or meta-narrative concepts. And while that’s not entirely necessary for something like us…” He left the end of his sentence unsaid. Screwball allowed her shoulders to sag as she heard her Alt-Dad’s speech slowly lose its volume and its energy. She knew what he meant. “You’re lonely,” she said in a half-whisper, “Even with Fluttershy… you can’t share everything.” A silence fell onto the room, broken only by the sound of the poker dogs bidding, and a Formula One car racing somewhere up in Ann’s room. Seriously, Screwball’s propeller spun as her swirly eyes took on a hungry look, that sounds like an awesome party! “This… Fourth Wall stuff,” Fluttershy patted her husband’s claw again, “I don’t understand it. Not really. I think I did when I spent a month as a Draconequus… but as a Pony, I know I lack some of your special powers to do so. It honestly makes me a little sick if I think too much about it… “But it’s important to Discord,” her eyes turned to steel as she met Screwball’s gaze, “And so it’s important to us both. It’s something Ann deserves to experience with her father. It’s something he deserves to experience with some other creature. Somecreature who’ll be here, even after I’m… after I’m…” “I get it,” Screwball raised a hoof quickly to forestall any tears. She knew all too well how this conversation went, and once was more than enough. “You want my help? Or, advice?” “If you could help, please, and thank you,” Fluttershy smiled again, brighter and more grateful than before. The purple pony of perplexing permutations pondered her predicament for a picosecond before her propeller spun about and picked up a possible pickle she’d been punk’d into propagating. “Who’d you ask already?” she frowned. Fluttershy, despite not being Applejack by any margin, was quite similar to her old friend in how she couldn’t lie to save her hide. She winced, noticeably, which caused Discord to cover his face. When he pulled back his paw, Discord sighed and said, “Several of our peers.” “Yeah? Who? And what’d they say?” Discord folded his arms, petulantly, and began to name names. “Out of the fourteen Me’s I talked to, most just said to let things run their course, with three still being evil and not caring. Pinkpool said to feed Ann more cherry-changas…” Screwball flinched at hearing the name of another Not!Pinkie-Pie out in the multiverse, “Eugh… did that work?” Fluttershy sighed, “No,” then added sadly, “… it just made a mess of my cushions…” “Chaos-Twilight stopped returning my calls,” Discord continued unabated, “Kept complaining about my dimension’s Rot… weirdo. Isekai Sunset, as it turns out, doesn’t actually know what the Fourth Wall is, and I’ve been banned for a month until Gandalf’s beard grows back. And all Dalek-Cord said was EX-TERM-IN-ATE over and over again…!” Screwball took another long sip of her drink. Then, noticing it was dry, she added some sand, lima beans, and a whole electric fan for taste. Thirst-quenching! “… Fluttercord just… freaks even me out, so no dice there. And Sheogorath also said I had to just let it go. And after I helped that jerk out when he and Bill Cipher had their falling out…” “Alright,” Screwball tossed her drink over her shoulder where it exploded into tiny paper mâché Princess Lunas, “I think I see the problem here.” “Oh?” Fluttershy managed to blink away the nauseous feeling that had been building as Discord’s multiversal and cross-contextual rant went on, “You do?” “Well don’t just sit there!” Discord himself half-growled and half-pleaded, “Tell me! What should I do? What can I do!?” Screwball sighed, and fixed them both with a stare. “You can’t fix this.” She’d said it so sedately, so quietly that for a moment, Fluttershy thought she was talking to a completely… well, sane pony. Discord’s eyes flashed. “You wanna run that by me again? I… can’t!? What does that mean!? I am…!” “Discord…” Fluttershy warned, this time tightening her grip on his arm. By the look he gave her, she knew he’d just been working himself back up into a mood. The sort where he started making declarations and threats. The kind that usually presaged a lot of collateral damage. The kind their therapist and couple’s counselor had warned him about. He deflated. “So… she’ll…?” “Maybe,” Screwball shrugged, “Or maybe not. It’s not up to us. And if you mess with your own universe’s Meta-Narrative Constructs, you run into problems. “That’s how you get Fluttercords,” she jabbed at her Not!Parents for emphasis, “How’d that work out for that universe? A Discord and Fluttershy… fused like that?” “Oh, I thought it was Discord in a mask…” Fluttershy tilted her head questioningly. “Or, maybe that Fluttershy just had Discord’s memories…?” “Stop thinking about that, it’ll melt your brain,” Discord calmly, gently cooed while patting his beloved Flutterbutter’s head. “It’ll happen, or it won’t,” Screwball was at Discord’s other side now, patting his back, “We just have to… let it happen.” Ann sighed. “It’ll happen… or it won’t…” She pulled her head up and out of the pink clouds that had replaced her floor, and then shook off her frown. Couldn’t let anyone else see it. She didn’t want to bring down the mood by thinking about the conversation she’d just ‘accidentally’ peeked in on. She hopped and bounded across the gummy clouds towards where her friends were, and noted happily that Shade had whipped up another set of s’mores for everycreature. “Alright ladies!” Pearl cried as her green magic aura took over one of the treats from Shady’s arctic blue, “One more s’more, and then I think it’s time we got our beauty rest!” Moon Wane snarled, and hit Pearl with a glare, his cat-slit Batpony eyes on full display, “Okay, enough! We’re not all ladies here!” A crackling flash of light followed… and Moon suddenly found himself dressed in an entirely too-pink Sunday morning dress, complete with ruffles and bows. He said nothing, instead closing his mouth, and turning his glare back around to Cheese and the just-arrived Ann, who snickered behind him. “You’re despicable,” he growled. Moon immediately started ripping at the dress with his fangs. Pearl tittered daintily. “I do apologize, Moon. I suppose it’s just a habit from watching too many of those Sports Plays. You know?” her voice picked up a dramatic flourish, “The ones where the downtrodden underdogs come together as friends and beat their uptown rivals? Admittedly, Papa always rooted for the rich, antagonist teams in those stories… and even paid off a production company to have the underdogs lose… on more than one occasion… oh dear, I think I have some apologizing to do one day…” “I hear those movie film things are going to start using sound!” Goldie popped into the conversation, “Wouldn’t it be neato to see a Sports Movie!?” “It would!” Pearl laughed, “Flawless was telling me that the humans from the Mirror World already have things like that, being far more technologically advanced that our fair Equestria. Cheese? Your Mama makes regular trips there, does she not?” Cheese nodded, “She’s over there right now, actually.” Moon, scraps of pink cloth in his teeth, frowned at that. “Uh…? Didn’t she drop you off here? And… didn’t she say something about heading off to Canterlot?” “Different Pinkie,” Cheese shrugged, “She’s nice though. Got me a video game for my birthday last year…” “You wewe talking to Flawless?” Ann started digging down deep into her sleeping bag, clearly choosing to ignore whatever it was Cheese had said. Pearl nearly inhaled her s’more, and after a less-than-dainty gulp, said, “Why, yes. After we got our Cutie Marks together, I’ve found that filly’s attitude rather endearing… in a strange way.” She used her magic to pull a small, stuffed ‘Tirek’ doll from her backpack and began snuggling down. “I think she just needed more friends, to be quite honest. In fact, I’m joining her, Dib, and Beau for some Buckball practice. Apparently, there’s interest in getting a foal-league going!” Ann’s nose scrunched up as she listened, a tight feeling in her stomach growing… but she remembered how that felt from before. And telling some other pony what to do or who to hang out with was so… so… so similar to her Dad’s freakout last week… So, she made sure to keep a smile on her face. “Well… that sounds like fun! I guess it’ll just be the five of us this weekend…” “Um, Ann?” Cheese piped up, “My Mom and Dad are taking me out to visit family this weekend. My cousin Petra Pie just got her Cutie Mark too, and Aunt Maud and Uncle Mudbriar wanted everypie there for the celebration. Sorry…” “Ah that’s fine!” said Ann in her very best ‘that’s-fine-I’m-fine’ voice. “I bet me, Goldie, Shady, and Moon will get up to all kinds of shenanigans. Maybe even some chicanewy!” Moon, back upside down in a tree made from popsicle sticks, coughed. “Uh, I got a martial arts tournament to go to, actually.” “You… you do mawtial awts?” Ann glanced up at the Batpony currently using the shredded remnants of his dress as a blanket. “My guardian, Penny Worth? She got me into it after my…” Moon looked away from his friends, “Anyway… I want to be a Royal Guard one day. Or a detective. So, I need the practice.” Ann nodded slowly, her smile getting more and more… Not!smile as she went. “Goldie? Shady?” Goldie at least looked a little guilty. “Sorry… my folks are taking me to Mount Aris. There was a big storm, and we’re distributing food donations. Sorry… sorry…” “My, uh…” Shady preferred to watch his own forehooves, “My dad’s coming to visit… I guess I could reschedule for next… four years from now…” “No!” Ann nearly landed on the mini-Celestia as she jumped. “No, no! Don’t do that! I’m fine! Weally! I’ll be just fine! It’s just one weekend, and then I’ll have you all back in time for the field twip, wight? Wight!” Everycreature took a moment to look at their friend, the desperate, sleeping-bag-bound Ponequus with a mile-wide plastic smile bolted onto her face. But, predictably, before any of them could poke or prod her with a piercing question to see what was wrong, which might have led to a night of dramatic tension, laughter, tears, and the sort of reconciliation that lasting bonds of love and fellowship are forged from… Screwball popped into existence. “HEY KIDS WANNA PARTY!?” Once they were done screaming, and crying in Moon’s case, the colts and fillies did indeed party another twenty minutes before Fluttershy kicked Screwball out for noise violations and they all collapsed from exhaustion. No questions asked, sadly… Weekends. Weekends, at least for a teacher, made the weekdays bearable. And for the Headmare of an entire school, who also taught at the school? Weekends made weekdays survivable. Starlight Glimmer sighed contentedly as she finished her paperwork for the day. She’d started at sun-up… or nearly so. Sunburst had some trouble getting the human-built coffee maker working, so Starlight had to take a quick detour to the human world across Starswirl’s mirror, wake up fellow Principal Sunset Shimmer, who was also in dire need of morning coffee before writing up her own paperwork for Canterlot High School, travel to the mall to pick up more coffee makers for both of them, and then swing past the human Pinkie Pie’s place for a mug of ludicrously caffeinated and sugar-saturated coffee before she could return to Equestria. The paperwork itself didn’t stand a chance, despite Starlight now being so jittery she could hardly see straight and despite her only getting started on it at half-past ten. But now, it was just about noon, all the work for the day was completed, her family were waiting for her back at the Castle of Friendship for quality time, and there was a scrumptious egg and daffodil sandwich waiting in the fridge with her name on it. So, with a merry tune in her heart, Starlight locked up the school and cantered towards home. The walk was short, but bracing, as an unexpected cold front had blown in the night before. Apparently, Appleloosa had ordered a delay on their rainshowers, and the cold air had to go somewhere, so Ponyville was the natural dumping ground for bad weather this month. “Stinkin’ weather teams…” Starlight’s best friend and School Counselor, the Great and Powerful Trixie, groaned audibly as they made the short crossing from the school to their home in Twilight’s old castle, “Can’t you make a spell to fix the weather, Starlight? Even I’m not this blue all the time…” “I did, once,” the lavender unicorn shrugged and pulled her scarf tighter about her neck, “But Twilight said I’d put Cloudsdale out of work, and the other princesses guilted me into erasing it from my memory.” Trixie paused, briefly in shock before a cold gust convinced her to continue on. “R-really?” she asked, stuttering more out of the cold than curiosity. Starlight snorted, “No! Of course not! That would be totally ridiculous... “I only told them I erased it,” she tossed a light, wicked laugh over her shoulder, like a bad parody of the villainess she once was so very long ago. Trixie joined in on the good laugh as the two entered the far, far warmer confines of the Castle of Friendship. While the lower levels of the castle interior hadn’t changed since Twilight’s ascension, it still being a public library by royal decree, Starlight had outfitted the whole structure with suites of spells to make it feel homier than its somewhat cold, crystalline appearance would indicate. The most noticeable of these were the Climate Control Matrices, which even now kept the library entrances and living spaces (the first-floor kitchens and the upper floor rooms) pleasantly warm while maintaining a cool, book-preserving chill in the library-proper. None of the servants were on-duty today, and the library’s four permanent guards remained in the front hall as their charges walked in from the chilly outdoors. This suited Starlight just fine, as it meant more or less some level of privacy. She could see through the large, open doors that Sunburst and Luster were already sitting at their respective favorite seats in the library main room. “Aw,” she bemoaned in dramatic fashion, “You’ve started without me?” “Oh, Starlight! Don’t worry, we didn’t start the real book,” Sunburst’s smile beamed brightly, even as he never tore his gaze away from A Guide to Perytonia: Separate, But Equal. Luster’s own tome, I Am Equestria, And So Can You! by Step-In Coltbert, lifted up in her magical grip, revealing her own excited face. “C’mon Mom! Once you grab lunch, we can get started on Indeedy Do and the Alicorn Amulet! “And once we get started on reading it,” she shook herself with a gleeful chuckle, “We can write our literary analyses and cross-examine our findings! Ooooh! I’m so excited! I bet it’s secretly a deconstruction of the adventuring genre… oh! Or perhaps a subtle political satire…?” Trixie rolled her eyes. “First, I can’t believe I live with so many neeeerrrrrds,” she dragged out the word until both Starlight and Luster started giggling. “Second,” she sniffed and made her way towards the kitchen, “Since I’m in that one… and the little twerp left in all the embarrassing bits I told her not to… those books lost all their magic for me.” Starlight, following her friend with a wry grin on her face, said, “You can’t still be mad at Indy. It wasn’t like she meant to lead the cultists to that Alicorn Amulet…” “Meh neh,” Trixie mocked, “She didn’t mean to! That little runt caused me nothing but trouble, and I still got blamed by Sparkle for it afterward! I swear, she never lets me slide on anything. I knew she was still sore about me and Starswirl…” “Uh, Trixie? I think she was more upset, at least for a few minutes, by the way you collapsed an archeological site on top of her when she came to rescue us.” She added with a wince, “That pyramid looked heavy…” “Details!” Trixie cried as they reached the castle kitchen, “I thought she was Sombra, returned from the shadow realm to attack us...” “No, you didn’t.” “Nah,” Trixie snickered, “I didn’t.” The two unicorns shared another laugh. Besties for life. “Anyway,” Trixie trotted over to the fridge, “You pour some cider for everypony, and I’ll grab the…” She swung the fridge door open, and stopped dead. There was something in the fridge. It looked like… “Hi! Nice to meet you! I’m…” The door slammed with all the force Trixie could throw behind her magic. She spun around to brace the door and hold it shut. “STARLIGHT!” she gasped, eyes bulging in their sockets, “Discord’s possessed Fluttershy! And he’s hiding in the fri-i-i-idge!!!” Starlight frowned, her eyes narrowing as her jaw worked. “What…? Discord possessed… oh! No! Trixie, I think that’s…” Before she could say more, the sound of groaning pipes picked up. The cabinet doors shook, and the pots and pans rattled. A clanking, banging sound ran through the crystalline walls from the refrigerator all the way to the sink, Trixie and Starlight following along with their eyes. The sink gurgled for a moment, and then began to pour out bright yellow water. Well, for a moment. Then, a few splotches of dark blue passed through the stream… followed by black and pink. But as Starlight watched, more curious that Trixie’s wide-eyed terror, the clashing mixture instantly began to reform, until… “Ow!” Ann gripped her head with both hooves, “That weally huwt… I hope you didn’t bweak anything.” Trixie tried to shake her surprise away, yet only managing to work it down to a mild panic. “W-what are you doing to Fluttershy, you creep?” “Trixie,” Starlight chided her friend, “That’s not Discord. It’s his and Fluttershy’s foal.” She turned back towards the Ponequus currently squeezing ice cubes out of her hair by wringing it out in between her hooves. “Anarchy?” “Pwesent!” the filly hopped down from the counter before shooting Starlight a wide grin. “My weputation pwecedes me. I’m Anawchy! Nice to meet you.” Starlight giggled, in spite of herself. “Indeed! And… aren’t you a cute little thing?” “Weird, to be more accurate,” Trixie said without even trying to hide the fact she was staring at the little filly. “Aw, gee!” Ann scuffed the floor with one forehoof, her mane falling down across her face in a way that instantly reminded Starlight of Fluttershy, no doubt hiding the same sort of embarrassed smile as her old friend. Before she could say anything else, Ann felt a weird, tickling sensation pass over her. It made her stomach squirm and her hackles raise, and she couldn’t help but feel like a cat getting a face full of a spray bottle. She grit her teeth against the feeling, but it just kept going, on and on. “Eugh,” she groaned, and pressed a hoof to her temple to try and make it stop. Starlight’s horn stopped glowing, cutting short her scanning spell, and Ann’s obvious discomfort. “Oh, whoops,” the older mare lowered her head, chagrined, “Sorry! I… might have gotten excited there. I’ve never gotten to examine Chaos magic like this up close…” Trixie rolled her eyes, “Starlight, I’m uncomfortable being the responsible one of us, but you can’t go around magically scanning fillies without their permission.” “I’m sorry!” Starlight whined, “But… she’s gorgeous!” Having shaken loose the last of that skin-crawling feeling, Ann gazed up at the purple unicorn. “Weally?” she asked, her face agog. Starlight nodded vigorously, her voice pitching up in excitement, “Absolutely! Your thaumic constitution is spectacular! Your cohesion matrix is… well, I never knew Discord could work regular magic, never mind something as complicated as an autonomous animus and personality core overlay…! “Trixie!” she spun around to face her friend, “Take a look at her ontological strings. Did you see how he parsed them with a tensile arc and a multi-pillory case?” “You know I barely understand that nerd stuff. I’m a practical mage, not…” Trixie managed to say before Starlight cast a quick spell that sent a white light snapping between their horns. Trixie blinked rapidly for several seconds afterward, seemingly lost in her own head. Then, the showpony glared, “Starlight! I don’t appreciate getting spellbooks dumped in my… brain…” Her eyes went wide as saucers. Trixie’s mouth worked wordlessly for a few moments, adjusting to the new information, and then she turned her eyes towards Ann, who was still staring back at the adults with a mixture of confusion and annoyance. “Huh… that is clever…” Ann frowned, “What is? Is it… bad?” Starlight’s gaze held on the Ponequus for another second… before her old counselor instincts finally kicked in, causing her to shake herself free of her awe and excitement over a new magic puzzle to solve. “Oh… I’m sorry, Ann,” she tried speaking slowly, hoping to calm herself as she spoke, “It’s good. Very good. Your dad did… frankly, an amazing job making you. Are you aware he…?” She scrunched her face up in thought, wondering briefly how to simplify what she was trying to ask. Ann was, at least mentally, still a child, after all. “Are you aware of things you can’t do? Even with Chaos magic?” Trixie snorted, “That sounds like the essay Scootaloo assigned for her Philosophy class…” “Um,” Ann looked to her hooves, as if examining them. “I guess… I can’t fix things,” she said slowly, expecting this to be a trick question of some sort, “and… I can’t transform all that well…” “Why not, do you think?” Starlight’s forehooves tapped erratically, trying to purge her system of that nervous, obsessive energy that started her scanning the poor thing instead of making proper introductions. Ann tilted her head, and looked up again. “Safety Featuwes?” Starlight smiled, “Exactly! It’s quite remarkable seeing something like that combined with Chaos magic. I’d almost believe it was impossible, but here you are.” Trixie waved one hoof in Ann’s direction, “So? What do they do, and why would Discord of all creatures want there to be ‘safety features’ on his little pet?” “Hey!” Ann scowled. Even Trixie, Great and Powerful though she was, had the good graces blush in slight embarrassment at that. “M’sorry,” she muttered. Starlight sighed, but clearly wanted to press on. “Well… I suppose it’s because he didn’t want another Discord.” She pointed one hoof at Ann. “See, Chaos is Chaos, right?” “Yeah?” Ann nodded, following along so far. “Well, Discord is the Spirit of Chaos. So, making a new Chaos being is just going to wind up being Discord, eventually.” Trixie winced and shivered at the thought. “But,” Starlight’s eyes briefly sparkled as she contemplated everything that she’d seen with her brief scan, “Discord put in rules when he made you. Like… you’ve been locked out of being able to change your physical body, right?” Ann frowned again, though this time at something neither of the two mares could see. “My wandewing lithp…” “And there’s rules in you that stop you from changing that,” Starlight felt herself falling into a teaching groove, and decided to just go along with it for now, “or, for example, turning your lungs into cheese. Which would be bad if you didn’t know how to breath without lungs, which I also assume you don’t know about yet. “But more,” she continued after a quick breath, “Discord made sure you couldn’t change parts of your mind or personality, or the minds of others.” “Messing with minds? Sounds like somepony I know…” Trixie whispered, though it didn’t appear Starlight heard the slight. “Wait…” Ann sat back on her haunches, “So, did Dad… plan on me being… me?” Starlight paused for a moment, then glanced up to her horn, and then back down to the filly before her. “May I?” she asked, her turquoise aura burning bright. Ann considered it, then nodded slowly. She braced herself for that weird, nauseous feeling again. When it swept over her, it didn’t feel nearly as bad as before, and for that she was thankful. Once Starlight’s scan was done, she smiled warmly at Ann, and said, “Oh, don’t worry about that, Ann. It looks like your Dad just… made sure you could develop a personality. One different than his own. I’m… shocked to say this, but Discord actually seems to have thought this through.” The sound of hoofsteps clopping on the crystal floors outside the kitchen was heard moments before Luster Dawn’s head poked around the doorway. “Hey, Mom? Trixie? We’re gonna start without you if… oh, uh, what’s this? Ann?” Ann, already smiling lightly at what the Headmare had said, perked her ears up and gave a little wave. “Hello Lustew! How awe you?” “Good so far. I was hoping to have some family time today, since all my friends are busy,” she gave her mother and aunt a look, “But it looks like you needed something?” “Oh,” Ann sagged a little, “Youw fwiends are busy too?” Starlight took a step closer to Ann, just enough to establish a warm, comfortable presence for the filly. “Is that why you’re here today? Are you… worried about your friends?” Ann’s eyes lit up for a moment, remembering her reason for dropping in today. “Actually… I came to ask you something,” she drifted up to Starlight’s eye level, seemingly without flapping her wings once, and met the older mare’s gaze with her own. Starlight, despite her years as a counsellor, Headmare of the School of Friendship, and in general a long life of accepting other creatures as they were… couldn’t help but feel a cold, animalistic sense of dread as she met those yellow and crimson eyes. “Um, alright? Shoot. I’m always willing to hear you out.” Ann swept her eyes about, settling briefly on Trixie, and then Luster. “In pwivate?” Luster was already nodding at the request and slowly backed from the room, while Trixie glanced between Ann and Starlight with a raised brow. “Ah, Trixie?” “Alright, alright,” she sighed, “Just let me get my lunch and I’ll go…” Ann’s tail, however, seemed to have a different idea, as it lifted up on its own accord and began forming what looked like a rudimentary claw. “Nah,” Ann smirked, “I got this…” Teleportation was and is one of the trickiest forms of pony magic. The Alicorn Princesses were capable of using it effectively, with Twilight Sparkle being the undisputed grandmaster of teleportation magic… as well as magic in general, for that matter. Starlight Glimmer considered herself nearly as adept in the art, though that was more due to her brute-force approach to magic as opposed to skill, finesse, or training. She knew the shortcuts, and how to mercilessly abuse the loopholes the system gave her. Chaos Magic though… was different. Its loopholes had loopholes, and trying to sort out its calculations was like trying to translate the legalspeak of an entire team of crooked lawyers. If Discord could be trusted to have ever spoke the truth on the matter, it even seemed like Chaos changed how it worked, just to keep prying unicorn eyes away from dabbling in it. All this just meant that no matter how many times she’d been transported by Chaos Magic, be it measured in hoofs, miles, or anything even remotely metric, Starlight could never get used to Chaos’ own peculiarities when it came to moving between A and B. Which was why, while Ann landed perfectly where she intended, sitting in the guest chair across from Starlight’s desk, the Headmare herself dropped ten feet out of the sky, and smashed headlong into a bookcase. Ann drew in a breath through closed teeth at the sight. “Ooooh,” she cringed, “Sowwy about that. I don’t know what happened…” Starlight groaned as she stood, her magic instantly snapping up fallen books and returning them to their proper place. “It’s fine. Chaos probably just… doesn’t like me. Me being The Mare, and all.” Once Starlight had a moment to look around, she groaned in a very different way. “I thought I was done with this office for the day…” “I’m sowwy,” Ann said quickly, her wings reflexively taking up another ‘snapping’ position, “You wanna hit the beach? A fancy café? Maybe the moon… yeah! Auntie Luna took me and Cheese thewe once! It was nice… except thewe wasn’t actual cheese…” “It’s alright, Ann,” Starlight tittered as she trotted back to her desk chair and took a seat, “I’m not mad at all. It isn’t like I don’t live a minute away, right? Just relax. “Tell me,” she placed her hooves up on the desk itself and gave the little filly her best ‘listening’ face, “What’s bothering you?” The room was quiet, this fall day. Wind gently shook the windows in their frame, just enough to remind Starlight that it was there, and the sound of a ticking clock could be heard high up on one of the nearby shelves. As soon as the two creatures had appeared in the school, Starlight’s heating spells had kicked in, taking the chill out of the room. Ann hesitated. Now that she was here, it was only a matter of time until she had her answers… and for some reason, that terrified her as much as not knowing… “I…” she took a deep breath, held it, and waited til her heart slowed down to continue. “I heawd you knew evewything thewe was to know about… Cutie Marks,” she smiled, just faintly, as her lisp allowed her a brief reprieve, “Is that twue?” Starlight’s face hadn’t moved when she heard the question. In fact, the amount of movement, either conscious or unconscious, that didn’t happen was quite noticeable to anyone who wasn’t Ann at that very moment. The Headmare blinked once, after about half a minute, and with a simple flash of her magic, she summoned a glass of water. Hydration completed, Starlight looked back at Ann. “I suppose you could say that, yes. Is there any particular reason you were interested in them?” “Well…” Ann stood up in her chair and half-turned to present her flank, blank, to Starlight. The Ponequus’ face flushed with just a hint of embarrassment. “Ah,” Starlight’s eyes widened, and a knowing smile brightened her countenance, “I see. Every young filly worries about not getting her Cutie Mark before any of her friends. But everypony develops differently, and I’m sure you’ll not be the last…” “I am the last,” Ann frowned. “… Oh.” Ann sat back down, her forehooves draped over one arm of her chair. Her voice came out quietly, “Flawless and Pearl got theiws togethew at the Buckball game… and Cheese alweady had his. Even Beau got his two days ago…” “Hmmm…” Starlight mused, quietly herself. Now, logically, most ponies in her position would probably assume that Ann was worried about the typical fillyhood fears of being left behind or shunned by her friends. Starlight knew, intimately, that sense of loss and broken-heartedness. But Starlight had also, long ago, learned to follow her gut when tried to tell her something. And right now, it was screaming at her. “You’re not worried about your friends abandoning you.” It was, in no way, a question. Ann locked eyes with the Headmare. Except for the colors, it looked just like a look Fluttershy often made, one that could instantly communicate her feelings of queasy anxiety to her closest friends. To this, she added her own twist; a slow, soft shake of her head. “Nevew,” she said. “Good,” Starlight nodded, “So you’re worried about… what? Not being a pony?” The filly shrugged. Then, with enough hesitation in her voice to make Starlight think she were listening to Fluttershy herself, Ann said, “D-dad said… he said that you wewe a wizard at Cutie Mark stuff, so I t-thought… maybe you w-wouldn’t mind… “Could you give me a Cutie Mark?” For a moment, just a moment, Ann thought the clock had stopped. Time seemed to hang in the air like a black cloud that hadn’t yet let loose a drop of its rain. If it hadn’t been for Ann’s innate sense of Entropy, the constant breakdown of the universe that lay at the heart of Chaos, she might have believed it. Starlight just stared. This time, not even a muscle twitched. Her purple eyes just locked with Ann’s… and stared. Seconds slowly became minutes as the two sat and met one another’s gaze. Finally, Starlight exhaled loudly through her nose and closed her eyes, reminding Ann that she hadn’t let go of her own breath either since she’d asked her question. The clock chimed, quarter past the hour. “No,” Starlight said with finality. Ann lowered her head, and sighed. “I… I undewstand…” she blinked away the itch in her eye before it could bloom into full tears, and hopped out of her seat. But as Ann turned towards the door, Starlight coughed. “I said ‘no’, Ann… but not why I said it.” Ann paused, halfway towards the doorway, and looked back around. Starlight closed her eyes, silently composing herself. When she opened them again and spoke, she tried to hit that point somewhere between Teacher and Friend that she knew Ann needed to hear now. “First,” she said, slowly, “Cutie Marks happen when they happen. They’re not foalscout badges. Any spells I know wouldn’t make one appear before its time. I could look into the future to see what Cutie Mark you may get one day… but Time Travel’s even more reckless and stupid than Cutie Mark Magic, and I’ve messed with both too often already.” Ann tilted her head to one side, still listening, but perhaps not quite grasping what Starlight was getting at entirely. So, Starlight continued. “And second… Cutie Marks are more than a representation of a pony’s talent or skill. It’s more than even a reflection of our souls. It’s Destiny.” Fully turned back around, Ann gasped, “But… Destiny is the opposite of Chaos!” “Right!” Starlight pointed to Ann like a student who’d caught on to a tricky question, “So what might happen if I tried to force a bunch of Destiny all at once into your system? You’re still mostly Chaos…” Ann’s eyes drifted slightly apart as she boggled over the thought. “Anathema…” she whispered. Starlight opened her mouth to speak… and had to pause for several long, awkward seconds as she pondered how the filly before her had learned that word. Probably hanging around Pinkie’s son too long, she decided. “You would either explode,” she said, shaking her head to clear her other thoughts, “Or fade away… again.” “You… you heawd about that?” Ann cringed. “We’re all part of a grand circle of gossip, your folks and me,” the Headmare nodded solemnly, “Your mother and Cheese’s told Rarity, Rarity told Twilight, Twilight told Luster, and Luster…” “Told you?” Starlight smirked, “No. She told Celeste, who told me. Want a tip? If you ever have foals of your own one day, bribe the foalsitter…” Finally, Ann blinked. And for a moment, Starlight’s heart felt like it was breaking in her chest as she watched the little filly’s eyes shimmer and glisten with tears. Ann sniffed, and looked back down to her hooves. “I… I’ll nevew…” “Not necessarily,” Starlight half-whispered, her eyes fixed on the poor filly before her, “Sure… brute force won’t help you here in this specific case. Ann? Have you ever heard the saying, ‘There’s always a small amount of Chaos in every ordered system?’” Ann nodded, looking back up at the lavender mare, “Dad has it fwamed in his study.” “Well,” a gleam came into Starlight’s gaze, a spark of mischief alight, “The opposite is also true… that there’s always a pattern to even a completely chaotic scenario…” Not for the first time today, Discord shivered. Despite the room he was in being quite warm from the roaring fireplace, it felt like… “Discord? Ya’ll okay?” The Draconequus tried to put it out of his mind, “Just felt like someone walked over my grave. A far more common occurrence than you’d think. “In any case,” he returned to the contract laid out before him, “I don’t suppose you want a particular gender or tribe association for Zap Apple?” Fluttershy, sitting besides her husband in the Apple living room, cooed, “Ooooh! Is that the name you’re going with? It’s so cuuute!” “It’s not cute!” Rainbow slammed her hoof on the table, shaking everycreature’s drink, “It’s awesome! I don’t do cute…!” “Landsakes,” Applejack pulled her hat down over her eyes irritably, “I don’t care so long as she or ‘e’s healthy an’ looks like me n’ Dash.” Rainbow leaned forward, and stage-whispered, “But… rainbow mane, got it? I got family traditions too…” Caught back up in a wonderful bit of Chaos, Discord, with pen in claw, completely forgot about the odd feeling that had threatened his good time… “If you give it time,” Starlight continued, “I’m sure that Destiny will pull through, and you’ll get your Cutie Mark. You just… have to be patient.” Ann sighed. It made sense, what Starlight was saying. And to some degree, it did make her feel better. Still… “I just hate the part whewe I have to wait,” she said as she returned to the desk and got back up into her seat, “It’s like, not knowing is wowse than if I knew one way ow anothew.” And just like that, that spark in Starlight’s eye blazed to life. With a smirk, and the knowing gaze of somepony who just remembered how to spit in the world’s eye, she said, “What if I told you that you didn’t have to wait to find out if you’ll get one or not?” Ann’s interest was back, if her own glinting expression could be believed. “What do you mean? I thought you said…?” “I can’t make your Cutie Mark appear out of thin air,” Starlight’s magic aura drew up a quill, ink, and paper, and she began to rapidly scribble out something across one whole side of a page, “But I can help you find out for certain if you can have one at all!” With a little pop, Ann appeared atop Starlight’s chairback, staring over the accomplished wizard’s shoulder at the arcane runes and circles and calculations taking shape. Anathema or not, such spellcraft was beautiful to behold, like a wondrously dangerous bit of Order disguised as Chaos. “How?” Ann growled in excitement. “This spell is… well, a bit of a shortcut,” Starlight explained as she worked, “I’m stitching together three or so spells together. Starswirl’s Destiny was the spell Twilight used… well, ‘fixed’ is more like it, to ascend and become an Alicorn. I’m tying its core component to a couple of mods, altered spell bits that usually don’t do much on their own. “This one,” she pointed at one mass of numbers and symbols that made Ann’s eyes water to look at, “was actually something Rarity and I came up with. It translates gut-feelings and intuition into a virtual dowsing rod, and then plaenshifts the signals through a chronolock, which…” Starlight finally looked back up at Ann behind her… and noted the glassy stare she was getting in return. “Ahem,” she cleared her throat, equally embarrassed and annoyed at the lack of appreciation for her work, “Anyway… it basically takes a look into the future and returns a simple Yes-No result. All I have to do is key the spell off the question of you getting a Cutie Mark one day.” Ann was quiet, at first. Then, a low, low giggling sound escaped from her throat. After a few more seconds, it graduated into an excited, squealing laugh. “Well, why didn’t you say so!? Let’s get going!” A snap of her wing-fingers was all it took for Ann to appear in the center of the room, Starlight’s written spell plastered in black ink on the rug, writ large. Ann pranced in place, giggling as she stared at the magical markings. She was so excited she might… she might… Starlight began to worry, slightly. She’d never seen anypony trigger one of Pinkie Pie’s surprise party cannons before, outside of the party planner pony herself, but now she had. And now she had a great big mess to clean up later. Happily, she also had a spell to remove the confetti which descended en-masse onto the room. She cast it, casually, and moved over towards Ann, only slightly scowling as she stepped over the ink soaking into her new carpets. “Alright, calm down there, my little pony,” she managed to smile through all of the above, “Give me a moment. I forgot to add Trixie’s mod.” “Twixie added something too?” Ann paused, “Shady said she was a gweat and powewful magician. She used to do shows all the time in the Kiwin Gwove. “What did she add?” Ann could hardly contain her excitement. She hadn’t seen the Great and Powerful Trixie’s shows firsthoof, but Shady had when he was little, and Cheese seemed to really, really like them, so whatever she added to such an amazing spell was sure to be, well… Great and Powerful. Starlight suppressed a little groan, and then said, “She made the Indicator component. If my horn turns Green, the answer to our question is a ‘Yes’, and Red if it’s ‘No’.” By way of demonstration, Starlight’s horn flashed green. And then, with a soft click-click sound, it became red. Click-click, Green. Click-click, Red. Then, off. “That’s…” Ann wasn’t sure what to say to that. She actually wasn’t sure if there was anything that could be said outside of a long, exasperated sigh. “Underwhelming, I know,” said Starlight, laughing at the memory of watching Trixie nearly burn herself out coming up with the spell, “But, it really is impressive. For some reason I’ve never understood, flashing lights and Mane magic are usually considered near-impossible schools to master, and yet Trixie practically specializes in them… “But enough about that. Are you ready?” “Weady!” Ann puffed out her chest, as if in challenge. Starlight pointed her horn directly at her target, and a wave of bright blue light began to build around her. Magical energies surged all around the room, fluttering loose paper and rattling books and picture frames. Starlight’s face was stuck in a determined grimace, sweat immediately forming on her brow. And it wasn’t easier for Ann. The Ponequus stood still as stone as a light ticklish feeling started at her hooves and began to work its way up her legs, her torso, her tail and her muzzle, even passing to the tips of her ears. But as the tingling sensation continued, it shifted from slightly funny to uncomfortable, like her whole body was falling asleep and contracting all at once. But the discomfort passed as well. Ann had clenched her eyes shut against it when it touched her nose, and though her lids still felt heavy and sluggish, she was able to open them without much trouble. The room looked like a whirlwind had passed through, leaving paper and books strewn about, but Ann and Starlight appeared completely fine. Starlight’s horn shimmered… Click-click, Green. Ann gasped, a smile breaking out instantly across her… Click-click, Red. Her breath caught in her throat. Ann felt the smile slide right off… Click-click, Green. … What? Click-click, Red. Click-click, Green. Red. Green. Click-click. Click-click. Click-click. Click-click. “Miss Stawlight…?” “Give it time,” the Headmare smiled gently while looking up at her horn, “The spell’s working through the data.” Click-click. Click-click. For almost a minute, Ann watched Starlight’s horn flicker from red, to green, to red, and back to green. Her eyes never wavered, never wandered. This was her Destiny… or, Not!Destiny. Either, or. Whichever it was though… all she wanted was to know what it was. And, finally, she had an answer. Click-click. Green. Starlight sighed, “Well, there you go. Just give it time, and…” Somepony’s lips planted squarely onto the bridge of her nose. Starlight let out an awkward squawk and took a step backward, though far, far too late. Ann’s little hooves were around her neck, and the little thing was nuzzling her like a favorite aunt. “Oh, thank you!” she cried, tears of happiness (you could tell by the way they cheered) instantly flowing down Ann’s cheeks, “Thank you!” At first, Starlight did nothing. But after a few seconds, she allowed herself the chance to hug Ann back. “There, there,” she said, remembering how Luster was at that age with a little pang in her heart, “It’s okay.” “I…” Ann pulled back, drifting through the air under the power of Chaos alone, “I hafta go! I hafta see Dad and Mom! I gotta tell them!!!” Starlight watched with some wonder as the space around her office door suddenly ripped itself asunder. It was like watching a blanket tear apart in front of her, revealing a swirling, broiling mass of light and shadow that was the Chaos Realm. A fire hydrant drifted by. The sound of ducks bellowed from a vacuum cleaner. A modest little house appeared atop a little patch of grass. Discord’s name was quite prominently displayed on its mailbox. “Thanks again!” Ann laughed as she neared the portal. “But…” Starlight gaped, “But you haven’t gotten your Cutie Mark yet…?” Anarchy, the future Pony of Chaos, spun around with a manic grin. “But I will! I will!!!” And with a flourish, she nosedived back into the realm of Chaos. With a literal splash. The portal followed suit, vanishing into the ether like it hadn’t been there at all. Starlight sighed. With a flick of her mind, she cast the reorganization spell she’d prepared for the room. Her magic instantly returned every book, paper, and loose pen back to its proper location. It even cleaned the floor, which was always a must for magic of this nature. She trudged back towards the desk, and heavily sat back down into her chair. Her magic was spent. She’d have to send a message to Luster to come get her. Maybe after a nap. A nap sounded good right now. But first… Starlight looked back up to her glowing green horn. With another sigh, she released the illusion spell she’d cast on it. The blinking lights continued, unabated. Click-click, Green. Click-click, Red. “Oh Ann…” a tear emerged as Starlight set her head down on the desk. Click-click, Green. Click-click, Red. Click-click, Green. Click-click, Red. Click-click.