//------------------------------// // Five // Story: Tired and Emotional // by Cackling Moron //------------------------------// A day or two later Rarity popped over again. In the intervening time she had actually seen Rhys around and about while she’d been around and about herself and they’d waved but she had been content to let him do his own thing while she got on with hers. Now though, with a little spare time and also something to pose, she meandered over, wrinkled her muzzle again at his garden (which remained very, very dead) and trotted up to knock on his front door which, after a moment, swung right open. “Rarity!” Rhys said, actually genuinely pleased to see her, much to his surprise. Rarity had own reasons to be pleased. “Rhys! You’re wearing clothes today!” She said. He was indeed and he twisted about as though in surprise and as though double-checking that he actually was. And he was. “Well someone pretty sophisticated and very capable made them, I heard, so it seemed a waste not to,” he said, tugging on the shirt. Rarity giggled and waved him away with a hoof. “Oh you! Flattery will get you everywhere.” Rhys loved that cliche. Stepping back to clear the doorway he jerked a thumb back inside and asked: “You want to come in?” “Ooh, inviting me in today are you?” Rarity asked in turn, eyebrow raised. “Could always slam the door in your face instead?” Rarity’s eyebrow lowered right back down. “My, aren’t you the charmer, Rhys,” she said, eyes narrow. She then sighed, hamming it up for all she was worth and having a whale of a time doing it. “A tough choice I’ll admit but I think on balance I’d prefer to come inside. I can slam a door in my own face at home.” Odd image but Rhys rolled with it. “Fine choice,” he said. Rarity entered, albeit tentatively, knowing what a state the place had been in last time. This time though was an entirely different story. She even gasped. “You cleaned and tidied!” “I did! Figured it’d be a good idea. You know, if you came back. And, uh, just - just generally too, I guess. Good for the brain, you know?” “I have heard that, yes. Well done you!” This she said while giving his leg a bump with her hip, something he didn’t expect and which nearly toppled him, much to Rarity’s giggling amusement. She then wandered about a bit to get the full experience and to see what a complete job he’d done. The place was still far too empty for her liking but the tidiness remained a definite step in the right direction. “You fixed the chair, too!” She said on reaching the two chairs, both of which were now sitting proudly the way they should have been. Rhys, who’d been following her on her little circuit of his house, waggled a hand of doubt. “Yeah. Not sure I’d trust it though if I were you. It’s mostly decorative.” “Points for effort, darling,” she said, giving him a pat on the leg. “Have you considered taking it to Mortis Gage in town? One imagines she’d be more than happy to help.” “She’s the, uh, kind of scary one, isn’t she?” In Rhys’s mind most of the ponies were kind of scary, in that he found them all intimidating in a tiny, colourful, overly-friendly sort of a way. He thought he’d heard of Mortis though. Something to do with furniture? He thought she’d been the one to donate his bed. Nice of her, if so. “Oh she’s perhaps a little gruff sometimes but she’s hardly scary! Just go and talk to her sometime.” “I’ll, uh, yeah. I’ll pencil that in,” Rhys said with absolutely no intention of ever actually doing it. Rarity saw through this immediately but felt that pressing the issue wouldn’t get her anywhere, and decided it best to move on. “Still, this is all quite wonderful. These little things do make a difference, don’t they?” She asked brightly, beaming. Rhys found himself trying not to smile as well. “As much as I want to say that’s cobblers they really do, in some way. Can’t really put my finger on it but I do feel better now than I did. For whatever reason. And the great thing is that while you’re tidying up you’re not worrying or thinking about anything else. So that was good, too.” In Rarity’s mind this was a rather unnecessary way of saying that tidying up, like anything else you could focus on, was good for clearing the head, something which she agreed with in principle so couldn’t really argue with. His tone left a lot to be desired, however, but that was a quibble at most. “Quite,” she said. “Come look at the kitchen though,” he said, making to grab her hand to pull her along there only to remember that, well, she didn’t have any. In the event he settled for just beckoning her along and leading her that way as she followed. “Oh my,” she said approvingly on arrival. Bottles? All gone. Everything nauseating? All gone. The things that had been moving that shouldn’t have been moving? All gone. It actually looked like a kitchen. Rhys wasn’t proud of a lot of things in life - or anything, really - but had to admit to himself that if there was one thing he might be allowed to feel the merest glimmer of pride over it was his job on that kitchen. “Even got food this time, can make you lunch. Got some, uh, flowers? Not sure which ones. Got a bunch. They told me they were good,” he said, fetching the flowers in question from where they’d been stashed and laying them out on the counter so Rarity could pass judgement on his selection. He did still find the eating of the flowers a little strange, but it was hardly the strangest thing going on around Ponyville. For her part Rarity was nigh-on squeeing with delight. “You went out and got these? Just for me?” She asked, giddy. Rhys hadn’t thought about it that way until she’d said it just then, and while technically he supposed it might be said to be maybe true that he’d go them for her in that she’d been the one he’d had in mind at the time, it wasn’t quite like that. It was just that she was kind of the only pony he really knew.  He had the horrible impression he might be sending the wrong signals now. Bit too late though. “Well, you know, n-not just for you but just in case I had, uh, company. Thought it’d be a good idea,” he said. “I’d say it was. Wonderful! Um, you don’t mind if I just...sample one…?” She asked, inching towards the flowers. “Be my guest, Rarity,” Rhys said and no sooner had the words left his mouth then she’d swiped some. More than one, at that. “Whoopsh,” she said, chewing. Rhys tutted. “Talking with your mouth full indeed, tsch,” he said with a sad shake of the head. Rarity - cheeks just touched with the blush of the ill-mannered - swallowed hastily and gave him a sheepish grin. “Our secret,” she said and Rhys obligingly drew his fingers across his lips, which were now sealed. At least as far as talking about Rarity’s appalling table manners were concerned. For everything else he could still talk. And did: “So - you want lunch or a sandwich or anything? Or just...what?” He asked, but Rarity demurred. She’d had breakfast already - the flowers had just been too tempting to pass up. “No I’m quite alright, dear, but thank you for the offer. I simply popped around to see if you were well,” she said, and now it was Rhy’s turn to raise an eyebrow, leaning against the kitchen counter as he did so. Or sitting on it, really. It was made for ponies after all. “Checking up on me?” “That would be one, uncharitable, way of looking at it, I suppose, but it would miss the friendliness with which I am doing the checking. I merely wished to see if you were having a nicer time than you have been lately! Is that a crime?” Rarity asked, a hoof pressed to her forward, hair flouncing. Rhys was glad she’d done that. He’d kind of hoped she would. There was something in the overacting he just enjoyed. Couldn’t put a name to it, he just did. “Heh, no. Just pulling your leg. I - it’s nice to see you, actually. Heh, never thought I’d say that…” “Must admit I’m rather surprised myself…” They had a quiet moment, but not an awkward one. A pleasant one. Then Rarity remembered something else. The other reason why she’d come. “There was something else, actually, now I think about it,” she said. “Oh?” “Yes, just a small thing. Now Rhys, I know that you’re not the fondest of, ah, ‘social gatherings’ but I was thinking that maybe a little more interaction might do well to convince you of how you’re not such a bad fit here as you think-” “Not sure where you’re going with this, Rarity…” “-and there is a party coming up later, you see, and so I was wondering whether I might be able to convince you to attend?”  Rarity was all sweetness as she said this, though Rhys was less than convinced. “Party?” He asked, wary.  He’d hoped that his dislike of parties would have become widespread knowledge at this point and in this he would be satisfied to learn that it had indeed become widespread knowledge. Everypony by now had learnt that he did not like them and that inviting him was a bad idea, generally. Rarity was just ignoring this. “Just a small thing, just a small thing! I just felt it would be good to get out of the house for a bit, hmm? You wouldn’t even have to talk to anyone if you didn’t want to,” she said. “Then what’s the point in being there?” Rhys asked. After all he could brood silently and suck up oxygen in the comfort of his own home and wouldn’t have to put a coat on to do it. Or be around anyone else. Or have to talk to anyone else. “Because it’d be good for you to try?” Rarity ventured and, with fluttering eyelashes, adding: “It would make me happy to have you there.” Rhys set his jaw. “...that’s a pretty cheap trick,” he said. There was more fluttering and Rarity leaned in towards him. “Did it work?” She asked. Rhys was quiet a moment and had to look away. “...yes,” he said. “Then I’d say it was cheap at twice the price, wouldn’t you?” Rhys actually, openly laughed at that one, making Rarity jump. It wasn’t something she’d heard before. Once she’d worked out that it was laughter - and not just him making odd noises for no obvious reason - she found herself smiling. Always nice to make someone laugh. “I like that line,” he said, turning back to look down at her, smiling himself albeit lopsidedly. He then sighed, shook his head. “Came at me quite short notice with this, didn’t you?” “That was so you wouldn’t have time to come up with an excuse,” Rarity said bluntly but still with overwhelming sweetness. “Could just make one up right now?” “You could, but then I’d know you were lying and I know you wouldn’t do that to me. Would you?” She asked, the fluttering of lashes now combined with a lip-wobbling pout that forced Rhys to look away again. “That’s just unfair...Fine, fine. I’ll come. Just because you’ve emotionally blackmailed me you tiny, adorable, manipulative so-and-so, you,” he grumbled. “Please don’t call me adorable, Rhys,” Rarity said, primly, straightening herself up and swishing back her mane. “Luxuriant and elegant?” Rhys ventured. She had to admit she did prefer the sound of that... “Better, but perhaps you should quit while you’re ahead,” she said. “Good idea.” “Wonderful. In which case I shall return later and we can go together, yes?” “Alright,” Rhys said, glumly enough to get Rarity to roll her eyes. “Oh don’t look so downcast, Rhys, you’re hardly being marched out for execution. I’m not going to abandon you there anyway. Not going to be joined to your hip, either. I’ll give you some space but also make sure you’re feeling comfortable and if you’re not then you’re under no obligation to stay longer than you want to, okay?” That’d be the saleswoman in Rarity, Rhys reckoned. Could sell water to the drowning with a patter like that. Or at the least she’d convinced him. She almost made it sound not awful. “Sounds good,” he said, still quietly dreading it but feeling the tiniest sliver of security in knowing that she’d be there. Revelling in her success Rarity hummed happily and gave a small nod. “Glad to hear it, dear,” she said. - She came back later. They got going. Rhys had briefly wondered whether dressing up more nicely would be an idea before dismissing it on two grounds. First, he didn’t want to. Second, he couldn’t, as he literally only owned the clothes he’d arrived in (which were knackered) and the ones Rarity had made (which he thought were nice, but they weren’t ‘nice’ nice). Rarity looked like she always did, which was to say her own particular brand of nice. So there was that.  “What’s this thing for anyway?” Rhys asked as they strolled along, other ponies in the distance visible heading in the same direction, distant music growing in volume the more they walked. “The party? You know, I’m not sure. All Pinkie said to me and anyone else was that it served a direct narrative function. But I’m not entirely clear on what that means and she, ah, bounced away before she could clarify.” “That’s kind of ominous.” “Oh I wouldn’t worry about it too much if I were you, dear. She says things like that a lot.” How that was meant to make him worry less was unclear, but Rhys did his best anyway. As quickly became apparent on their arrival it wasn’t the biggest party but it was still big and pretty well populated. From the sound of things - catching snippets of conversation as he continued to follow Rarity - everyone had received a different explanation for what was going on.  Someone’s birthday, someone said. A moving day for someone else. A business opening party? Someone winning an award? Mandated party to fill some new Canterlot-instated monthly quota? None of it matched up. Rhys did his best to just not think about it. After all that’s what Rarity had said he should do, and had she steered him wrong so far? No, no she had not. So, trusting Rarity’s judgement over his own, Rhys just let events roll over him. Sure there were more people around than he might normally feel comfortable and sure it might be a little on the louder side than he might like, but so what? He could take it. Rarity certainly seemed to think so, and was he going to disappoint her? No, no he was not. So he scoped out and picked out a likely looking seat in a likely looking spot and sat right down, planting himself. Technically still in the party but tucked enough away to feel a little better protected from all the everything going on around him. There were balloons and all sorts. A lot of laughing. He felt immersed. “This isn’t too much, is it?” Rarity asked, mild concern forming at seeing him settle down, but he waved it off. “Nope, this is fine. Just going to sit for a bit, I think. You go do something else if you want. You’ll probably be able to pick me out of the crowd.” “There is something about you that sticks out, now you say it, but I can’t quite put my hoof on it…” She said, peering at him intently and getting in closer and closer until Rhys, smirking, pushed her away. Gently-like, mind. She’d giggled at that. “Har. Go on, go, you have people to talk to I expect,” he said. She did, so off she went to natter, leaving Rhys behind to just be. To his great consternation the whole thing wasn’t...actually...that bad… This annoyed him greatly. He’d hoped - in that strange way that one hopes for the worst to be the case so that your low, low, bleak expectations are proved right and your grim image of the world is shown to be the proper one that you were clever in having - that the party would be nothing but being isolated and given odd looks while he lurked and brooded in a corner. Instead, people were giving him space while also keeping him kind of in the loop of things, making sure he had a drink or what have you, passing some light chatter his way and actually making him feel… ...nggh… ...included… He liked it and he hated that he liked it. He could have been doing this already! Why hadn’t he? And why didn’t he know why he hadn’t? The whole thing was a mess. But he had a drink that someone had been nice enough to get him and that last guy he’d talked to had had a pretty good dad joke about hummus, so it was a mess that was balancing out somehow. He was very confused. Someone then latched onto him from behind and he flinched until he saw that the hooves and legs that had folded over his shoulders and about his neck were white and that this was just Rarity, at which point he relaxed. He didn’t even particularly care that she nuzzled against the side of his head. After all, she meant well. “Having fun?” She asked “Doing my best.” “The most anypony could ask of you, darling.” By definition, really. Pinkie, the orchestrator behind all this and who had been passing at a comfortable strolling pace somehow managed to come to screeching, smoke-billowing halt before (again, somehow) sliding back so she was standing more fully in front of Rhys, whereupon she eyed him and eyed Rarity wrapped around him. The two of them had no idea what to make of this. She continued eyeing them up and down for a few seconds more before gasping in shock. “Hey!” She said, pointing an accusing hoof right at Rhys. “How come Rarity can touch you?” “What?” Rhys asked, entirely blindsided. “When I try to hug you you go all stiff until I let go!” Pinkie said, affronted. This was true, too. True of all the various ponies who had hugged Rhys across his time in Ponyville (ponies were a touchy-feely sort). It was just that Pinkie had tended to do it with a vim, vigour and vitality that had so utterly overwhelmed Rhys every time she’d done it that he had gone entirely ramrod stiff. As a result Pinkie had stopped doing it, because it wasn’t fun and clearly no-one was enjoying them, much to her chagrin and frustration. And now this! This! She was leaning in to give the sight her full scrutiny, and while earlier Rarity had also leant in she’d done it in a restrained way, staying on all four hooves. Pinkie had no such reservations, leaning way, way over while somehow remaining balanced on only the single hoof, one eye screwed shut while the other did all the work. It was more intense then it had any right to be. Then, as soon as it had started it stopped. “Well! Everything appears in order here. Carry on!” Pinkie chirruped, snapping back to her starting position so quickly Rhys literally blinked and missed it. And off she hopped. Stunned silence followed, during which time Rhys noticed that he’d started gripping Rarity’s hoof for security. Having noticed this, he stopped doing it and swallowed. “This is another of those things I should just accept and move on from, isn’t it?” He asked, puncturing the tension of the moment nicely. “I’d say so, yes,” she said, adding: “Pinkie raises a good point though.” Rhys looked at her sideways, as that was where her face still was relative to his. “She does?” He asked and she nodded. “Why is it that you don’t seem to mind me entering your personal space? When anypony else does it you do go all stiff, like she said. Not that I’m objecting, I’m just curious as to why.” Rhys honestly had no idea. He hadn’t thought about it and, indeed, hadn’t actually really overly noticed it until just then. Even being suddenly, incredibly aware of the weight and warmth of Rarity just resting across his shoulders and her face right next to his, he still didn’t find himself feeling the normal sense of needing to get away that all other hugging attempts had generated. He took a stab in the dark: “Arbitrary double-standard?” Unsatisfying. Rarity wrinkled her muzzle but there wasn’t a lot else she could do about it. “...I suppose that’s as good a reason as any. As long as you’re happy, darling,” she  said, finally disentangling herself from around him and just coming to stand by his leg.  “I am. Oh, heh, fancy that - I actually am! This is alright. I’m having - and don’t go telling anyone else this, now, you hear? - I’m having a pretty good time. So thanks for dragging me out. You remain the wind beneath my wings,” he said, raising his more-than-half-full glass to Rarity’s health. “You know you can be quite colourful when you want to be, Rhys,” she said, the tiniest bit of colour in her cheeks. Rhys shrugged. “Not with everyone,” he said. This was true. “You do know how to make a mare feel special,” Rarity said in tones of the utmost sultriness, rearing up to rest her forehooves on his knee and moving in closer. Rhys saw this coming a mile off and, again, gently nudged her away. “Oh give over, you,” he grumbled. She got a fit of the giggles. “Sorry darling, I couldn’t resist! Parties often have a way of bringing out the worst in me and - Ah! There’s Twilight! I must go and have a word, excuse me.” Off she went, and Rhys watched the two of them start chattering. And as he watched, an idea occurred. It felt like an important idea, though one he didn’t really want to act upon. Though having planted itself in his head it refused to go away and the more he watched the two of them the more the roots of it spread until he could ignore it no more. He reached a decision. TIme to put on the big-boy trousers! Getting up, he went on over to them. Twilight spotted him coming and, eyes widening, nudged Rarity to get her attention as well. They’d stopped talking about whatever it was they had been talking about by the time Rhys arrived. But this wasn’t a surprise. “Hello Rhys,” said Twilight and he returned it with a nod. “Something wrong, darling? Do you want to go?” Rarity asked and to this he shook his head. “I, uh, wanted to talk to Twilight,” he said, eyes either on the floor or on Rarity, not really on Twilight. He tried though. “Oh?” Twilight asked and again he nodded, girding his loins to push on through. “I don’t - I don’t think I ever said thank you. You know. F-for what you did. For me. With trying to get me home. So thank you,” he said. Whatever ease Rhys might have had when talking with Rarity he had not have with Twilight, this much was obvious, but it was equally obvious that he was trying and also meant what he said. “It didn’t work though, Rhys. Sorry,” Twilight said and this time he managed to keep his eyes on her when he spoke to her. “I know. But that’s fine. That’s not the point. Point is - the point is that you tried.  No one made you and I wasn’t really ever nice to you while you did but you did it anyway. You did your best. That’s what matters. Thank you, Twilight.” Rarity looked absolutely beside herself with delight at this unprompted action of Rhys’s part - boy done good! This sort of thing would have been unthinkable not long ago! Such progress. She was quite proud of him. “Oh, Rhys-” she started, but commotion disrupted anything further, and the commotion was caused by the sudden appearance (as in, out of thing air sudden appearance) of… Something. Something that was not a pony but rather looked as though someone had diced a dozen mythical creatures, thrown the parts into a bag, shaken the bag and then made a new friend out of whatever fell out first when the bag (the shaken bag) was tipped up. On top of which the thing was also wearing bright yellow shorts with what appeared to be palm trees on them, a luridly-coloured striped shirt, a red hat and also sunglasses, to complete the look. It was so garish that everyone else felt they could have benefited from sunglasses of their own. “A party? Ah! It must be for my return. And what with my return being an unplanned surprise this certainly must have taken some planning! Well done, well done!” The something said loudly in a voice that immediately started to dig into Rhys’s brain because it was just so bloody familiar. The thing then rounded on and spotted Twilight and made an immediate beeline over to her, and thus also to Rhys and Rarity by proxy as they happened to be standing in the splash zone, as it were. “Twilight! Fancy seeing you here. Did you miss me? Ah! No need to say a word I can tell you did! It’s written all over your face!” Said the interloper, squeezing Twilight’s cheeks as one might with a friend’s baby. It really was written all over her face, actually. Twilight peered down her muzzle and grunted in irritation, wiping herself clean and knocking away the thing’s hands. Or claws. Or whatever they were. One looked like a paw? “Hello, Discord,” Twilight said through gritted teeth, aiming for politely but clearly struggling to get there. “Would have thought you’d go to see Fluttershy first. If you’re coming back. Which you say you are.” Fluttershy being one well-known member of the local community who was conspicuous in her absence. Duty called, she’d said, with vague promises that she might appear later. So far, she hadn’t. The continued call of duty, one supposed. “Oh I did, I did! First port of call, of course - had to tell her about my holiday, after all - but I apparently arrived during naptime and Flutters informed me in those hushed, commanding tones of hers that my outfit was too loud for the poor, sensitive, dozing animals. Can you imagine such a thing? This outfit! My holiday outfit! Loud! I ask you.” As he spoke the outfit got brighter and brighter until it almost got painful to look at. Discord’s attention then transferred to Rhys and the brightness returned to normal. “Ooh, another one of these! When did you get one? I could have brought you back another if you’re starting a collection - Bermuda was lousy with the things! Couldn’t move for them,” he said, circling around Rhys and tapping him on the head. Rhys - being entirely unaware of who or what Discord was - just assumed that things like him doing stuff like what he was doing was something that happened sometimes and weren’t of particular note. After all, Pinkie could do sort of the same thing so why be concerned? And if ponies and griffons and bugbears (oh my), why not...whatever the hell this was? Not that he enjoyed being tapped on the head, but he could survive it. “This is Rhys,” Twilight said as Rarity quietly but firmly bit the back of Rhys’s shirt and dragged him back and just further out of Discord’s reach. “He’s a human. He’s been here two years. How did you never see him?” “Scheduling conflicts, I expect. I can’t pay attention to everyone, Twilight! I’m very busy.” “You went on holiday for, like, a year.” “Yes! Because I deserved it! Because I’d been so busy! Honestly it’s like we’re speaking different languages. Still doesn’t answer my question though, where did you get one from? They’re really not from around here, I can tell you!” “He’s not, he’s from a different dimension,” Twilight said. By this point it should be made clear that everyone was watching this because they would have been mad not to. The residual scrutiny was making Rhys extremely uncomfortable, though having Rarity’s tail inexplicably wrapped around his leg as she stood resolute beside him did help a lot. “I’m aware, I was there. Ooh, rhyme!” Discord chuckled, he hadn’t meant to do that. “He got here by accident. Nopony knows how and we tried to get him back but it…” Twilight winced and looked at Rhys apologetically. He mouthed ‘It’s okay’ at her. “...it didn’t work,” Twilight concluded. “It was the time thing, wasn’t it?” Discord said, sighing, as though this sort of issue cropped up all the time. Twilight goggled at him. “How did you know?!” He tapped his nose. Or snout. Or whatever it was. “Couldn’t possibly say! That is a shame though, isn’t it? To expect to go home only to find there’s no home to go back to? Tsch, I mean I cou-” “She’s working on a solution to that!” Rarity blurted, interrupting, clamping her hooves over her mouth the instant after she’d spoken and getting a very severe looking from Twilight for her troubles. Rhys just blinked, having to go back in his head to make sure he’d heard that. “She is?” He asked, looking to Rarity who, in turn, looked to Twilight, who sighed. Cat out of the bag now. “Yes. But it’s early. Haven’t really got anywhere with it yet.” “I’m sorry, darling, I shouldn’t have said that,” Rarity said tentatively, lowering her hooves. Rhys remained confused. “Why didn’t - was this a secret thing?” He asked. Rarity waved her hooves quickly and leapt to counter this. “No no, not secret! Just, well, we didn’t want it to be for...for nothing…” She said, again wincing. It didn’t sound so great out loud, not any part of it, not really. Did sound rather like keeping secrets. Or coddling. Certainly nothing good. “Ah. Like last time. I guess I can see that,” Rhys said. He kind of could. He was still trying to wrap his head around the idea. He thought it had been all done. He’d just started heading towards getting used to the idea of being around ponies for the rest of things. Only now maybe not? He was being pulled every which way, he was, and he really didn’t know what to make of it. Discord though had his own ideas. “Why didn’t you ask me?” He asked, pouting. An odd look for something with a face like his. “Ask you what?” Twilight asked. “To send it back, of course!” Discord said, pointing to Rhys. “Because you were on holiday?” Twilight pointed out and Discord, standing proud and haughty a moment ago, was momentarily lost for words. He blinked and it came complete with a sound effect. Rhys found this quietly alarming. “Oh yes, of course, silly me. Well, I’m not on holiday now - why not ask me now?” Discord asked, again striking a haughty pose, undercut somewhat by his holiday outfit which had remained in place this whole time, though the hat did appear to have grown slightly along the way. “Ask what?” “To send you home? Twilight’s working on a solution, you say? Probably some sort of portal, hmm? We all love a portal around these parts,” he said nudging Rhys in the ribs. “And I don’t doubt it - inventive scallywag that she is! - but I could perhaps speed the process up. Or sidestep it entirely. Portals are easy!” He said, snapping the fingers on one hand, summoning up a svelte slash through the fabric of space time, sticking the other arm through it and out the other end - directly into Rhys’s pocket. They rummaged for a second and then withdrew, pulling back through the portal again and holding up something that jangled. Keys. Discord looked at them in puzzlement and let them dangle a moment before looking at Rhys again. “Are these yours?” He asked. Given that Rhys knew for a fact that he’d left those keys at home - ‘home’ home - this was no mean feat. Not that he was going to let anything show. And on the plus side he could actually enter his house now without breaking in. “Yes,” he said, refusing to let this party trick ruffle him. “Would explain why they were in your pocket. Here,” Discord said, tossing the keys to Rhys who - to his immense relief given the watching crowd - caught them. “‘Portals are easy’ he says…just snaps his fingers...everything’s a joke...” Twilight groused, grinding her teeth. “Shove a rainbow up your jacksie again, see if you’re still cracking jokes then you mix-and-match tosspot…” “Did you say something, Twilight?” Discord asked. “Me? No, nothing. Just happy to be here. So you go to other dimensions all the time then?” She asked. She was so tired. “Only on holiday. But I could make an exception, I suppose,” Discord said, exaiming his nails (or talons or etcetera). “Charitable and reformed soul that I now am.” He then looked over to Rhys who had been, in defiance of his usual behaviour, keeping a surprisingly close eye on him. Discord narrowed his eyes. “You do keep staring at me. Is it my devilish handsomeness? Or do I remind you of someone?” He asked. “You do, actually. It’s the voice. Can’t quite put my finger on it…” Rhys said. It was coming to him though. The fog was clearing.  “Oh this should be good. Come on, spit it out, I know what comes next.” And then Rhys had it. Clear as day. “Discord, have you forgotten the face of your father?” He said, pointing, as though he was being moved by an outside force. Discord sighed. “Oh that was good, that was very good. Are you going to quote Shakespeare at me next? Defend humanity’s right to exist while I preside as a judge over some kind of space-trial?” He said, flapping what was definitely a paw.  “I was thinking more a mid-nineties Johnny Quest reference,” Rhys said and Discord let out a whistle. “That’s a deep pull, we’re all very impressed, yes.” Rarity and Twilight exchanged looks, both of them equally lost. “...what is happening?” Twilight muttered and Rarity just shrugged and shook her head. “Enough of this gay banter!” Discord then snapped, his holiday outfit vanishing into nothingness, the outburst making all those present jump about half a foot in the air. A lot of the party guests made a lot of effort then to make it look as though they weren’t listening in. Discord then turned to Rhys and took a steadying breath. “As I was saying, if you want me to send it - that is to say, you - back to where you belong then all you have to do is ask. I am fairly certain that I can probably get you back to when and where you came from, probably in one piece, probably without any unfortunate side-effects of accidents.” Twilight cleared her throat and Discord turned and flinched when he saw that by now all the others had shown up and formed up, Rarity leaving Rhys’s side to form part of the squad so it had the full intimidation factor. Fluttershy though was the one really selling it. It was like the temperature had dropped. “Or we could cut out the maybes and the probabilities and just send you back without incident. If you’d like?” Discord asked, all sweetness and light now. And now all attention was on Rhys. Rhys felt that this was one of those rare, pivotal moments in life where the answer would only be obvious afterwards. One of those moments where there didn’t seem any right ways to go even though there were, and everyone else could see them. He swallowed. “I think…” he said, playing for time. “I think that, uh, it’d be rude of me to have Twilight go to all this trouble and have her waste her time. If she - if she thinks she even has the slightest chance of d-doing it then I trust that she can. So if it’s all the same to you I’ll, uh - I’ll wait until she’s done. Thank you. Sorry.” A veritable Oscar acceptance speech by Rhys’s standards. He glanced about nervously and much of that nervousness vanished when his eyes alighted on Rarity, who was beaming at him. “Besides, there are worse places to have to wait in. Right?” He added. All of which neatly skipping over the issue of how, when and if he did manage to get home, he was going to explain to people why it was he suddenly looked at least two years older. Rhys was banking on being generic-looking enough that no-one would notice.  Given how generic Rhys was this was a pretty safe bet, all-told. Discord sighed. “Very well, very well. Ridiculous decision but then you are a ridiculous bunch. If there’s one thing my holiday taught me it was that! Oh well! At least there’s a party, hmm? Where’s Nibbles?” There came a comically loud gnashing sound of teeth and Discord gave a quiet yelp, turning and revealing a small, two-legged ball of anger and teeth clamped onto his scaly behind. “There’s Nibbles,” he said. No-one laughed. Discord looked appalled. “Come on! I’m suffering for my art here! The least I could get is a pity chuckle!” Still nothing. Not even the cricket deigned to chime in.  Wrenching Nibbles from his buttocks Discord, muttering about what he was going to do to the canapes, stalked off. Fluttershy peeled off from the group to give chase and console and, in dribs and drabs, the flow of the party resumed, ponies peeling off to continue what it was they’d been doing before, Twilight peeling off to go and get herself a drink. Rarity came back to to Rhys, who was feeling a bit numbed by everything that had happened and all he’d learned. “I might go home?” He asked her and she hissed to herself, still feeling bad for having let that slip. It had just been burning a hole in her ever since she’d known she couldn’t say it! “Yes...the idea was to tell you when it looked more certain but now…” She said. “No, no it’s okay. This is fine. Just have to wait and hope, right? Hope for the best and roll with whatever comes anyway,” Rhys said and Rarity’s face cracked into another smile. “An excellent way of looking at it, dear!” She said. Rhys glanced back to Discord, clearly visible above the crowd of ponies. Odd, having something else broadly the same height, though with Discord it seemed a little different every time Rhys looked. The canapes were indeed having awful things done to them, but even at a distance it was clear that his mood was improved by the presence of Fluttershy. Or at least, Rhys could see this.  “I think I didn’t have the context to fully appreciate that. Is he a friend or something?” He said, nodding in Discord’s direction. Rarity made a ‘long story’ noise. A fine noise. “I’ll explain it to you later, darling. Or tomorrow. Over breakfast?” She suggested, eyebrow arching.  “Heh, smooth. Yours or mine?” Rhys asked and she boffed him in the leg. “So forward!” She said, scolding. Then, following a giggle. “Mine. You don’t have a table.” He had to think about that for a second. “Oh yeah.”