//------------------------------//
// Prison Break (Starlight,Trixie;Comedy 
// Story: Anthology of Graybles 
// by Str8aura 
//------------------------------//

"Stick your hoof out, you're pulling me in."

"If I lean out any further, they'll pull me down when they come in- the chain needs to be taut!"

If there was any proof in Equestria that Starlight Glimmer and Trixie Lulamoon would bicker and fight through Ragnarok's apex it was the scene currently unfolding in a remote prison cell near the Zebrica-Equestria boundary. Never has the relationship between mom friend and feral gremlin been better captured than the relationship between the two pseudo-national heroes, and never had said relationship waned more forcefully than on the day they failed to successfully hide a body while on a cross-country friendship mission going exactly how you'd expect a quest to solve a dysfunctional friendship hosted by two ponies with a dysfunctional friendship to go.

Which is why, after a series of further screw ups regarding a foreign legal system and several impressive feats of moronics, our two heroines currently find themselves in a high security prison, having learned nothing and achieved no personal growth one tends to find in such a situation. And so, without this important revelation of character present, the only logical solution for Horse Harold and Kumar was to escape and await inevitable forgiveness, after a lengthy discussion about why murder is wrong Trixie had already heard a great many times.

"Can you reach the bed? I still can't use telekinesis with this magic suppressor." Starlight nodded at the metal bedframe at the corner of their room, precariously propped against the wall in such a way carefully calculated to make a metric fuckton of noise.

"Don't worry; Trixie will gladly pick up the slack." Trixie smugly replied, taking aim and bucking as hard as she could. The frame fell like a redwood with a fourth of the grace, tossing soundwaves like the Molotovs held by their current neighbor in a strategically useless location on his own body.

Sure enough, the sound of rapid clopping and hastily shaking keys were soon heard, and a presumably tattooed Zebra guard pulled the door open to the hallways and immediately tripped over the chain spread across the doorway, chin hitting the bedframe with an audible crack.

The newly elected fugitives broke into an awkward seven-legged race out the door, shocking a nearby guard long enough for Trixie to snag his outfit on her horn and toss him over the rails to the cells below with a "Heilige fokken kak!" fading out as they ran.

Starlight made a sharp turn towards a metal staircase, yanking Trixie along as she turned to stick her tongue out at other cellmates, bursting onto the catwalk with the style and grace of Lanky Kong. Trixie's struggle to keep up was suddenly kicked down a notch on her list of priorities as she tripped, falling off the poorly built catwalk and slamming Starlight into the guardrails as she struggled to keep running from the guards slowly gaining behind her, aided by the lack of Unicorn Butt serving as a ball and chain. Finally reaching an open door, Starlight reached over the rails, pulling Trixie up by her tail and dropping her chest-up in front of the closest guard, prompting her to instinctually buck out and catch him in the jaw before being dragged off along the ground.

A metal desk was shoved in front of the door, and Trixie took her precious moment of peace to catch her breath before once again being yoinked towards Starlight as she rifled through several lockers.

"Trixie, help me find our stuff. Do you still have those lockpicks?"

"This lock on this is too small for those ascended paperclips, and besides, Trixie is kind of digging it."

"Well, Starlight is not digging her magic suppressor, so we still need it." Starlight suddenly ceased conversation until she found her goal; a literal purple paperclip, bent into a fashionably prisonpunk lockpick. She yanked Trixie towards her again, and quickly undid her suppressor before tossing it to her. The door was burst open just as one last piece of metal hit the ground for that day. Before a baton could be drawn, the room was filled with smoke, several blasts of light filled the room, and by the time the room was clear again, two guards were unconscious, one was a teacup, one had suddenly appeared in between the ribcage and lungs of an unpleasantly surprised Manticore several miles away, and one had unexpectedly switched brains with a Minotaur wheat farmer working in a foreign field.

As Starlight and Trixie continued their speedrun shortcut through prison, Trixie began to notice her partner's horn flickering multiple times, producing sparks.

"Something wrong you'd like to tell Trixie, dearest friend?"

"Something's stopping me from teleporting myself, even though I had no problem teleporting that guard. I didn't know they even used magic."

"Just teleport me, and I'll teleport you."

"I do not trust your teleportation at that range. If I was under a little less stress I could probably think up a loophole, but we're almost at the door anyway, so I've got a better idea. Trixie?"

"Yes?"

"Spread your legs out."

"Is this really the time-"

She was cut off by her sudden introduction to the back of a tower guard's head, suddenly becoming his face as it whipped away from his gun and towards her with wide eyes. She obediently spread her legs, successfully knocking him over and into the soft snow below before space was folded yet again to drop her back into her previous position, tripping from the sudden setting change and being dragged through the snow as Starlight kept running without breaking a sweat, leaving the gates behind as several alarms sluggishly went off.