Have you ever stretched so much, that you fell into another plane of existence? No? Me neither, until now.
I had just finished the last of my work, on my computer at home, and started my usual series of stretches, when, with a loud bang, I lost consciousness. Next thing I know, I'm in some kind of jungle and hurting all over.
"FUCK! God fucking dammit, fucking piece of shit, that hurts!"
In my defense, it did in fact really hurt. Anyway, after my tantrum, full of all kinds of profanities, that would make even a sailor blush, ended, I started to actually look around. From my masterful observations, it would appear, that I was in a forest, not a jungle as I first assumed. I may not be a biology expert, since I am a physics and chemistry graduate, but I am pretty sure, that there are no oak trees in a jungle. The real problem posed the next thing I looked at, namely my body, after all, I had to find out why my body was aching.
My discovery shocked me into silence. I was small. I was too small.
I had to check my body thoroughly, so I touched the most important part first. It wasn't there! In fact, everything that made me an adult male was taken away and replaced with signs of me being a young girl. I just couldn't accept it. I noticed a bit of the morning dew left on the grass near me. It was gigantic and I could use it as a mirror. So I hoped for the best and looked in it. For a second I was left speechless.
Afterwards... "AHHHHHHH!" My screams echoed through the forest.
'This could not be happening, ultimately this was impossible, how could I have possibly turned into a girl?! NO, this had to be a dream, there was no other explanation.'
So I tried pinching myself, headbutting a tree, closing my eyes and wishing to wake up, but nothing worked. I was desperate, but can you really blame me? I had suddenly turned into an 8 year old girl, with blood red eyes and black hair, that reached to my hips, and was currently stained with mud and ... Was that ... blood? I had only just now noticed the clothes I was wearing. It would appear I had forgotten to check them in my existential crisis. But they certainly did not help me feel better, since I was wearing a white dress with no underwear and with a big hole in the belly portion. It was also generously stained with blood. And now that I looked more closely, I was lying in a pool of blood, which was weird, since I didn't find any injuries on myself, just signs of slight malnutrition.
'OK, I am perfectly calm, now let's look through all possibilities. Number one, I am asleep, but can't wake up. Impossible, I shouldn't be able to feel pain and at the moment i would feel pain I should wake up, that is the way the human brain functions. Possibility number two, I was kidnapped and my brain was transplanted into a little girl. But then, why would I be in a forest? And what is with all the blood? Hmm. Then there is the possibility number three, my consciousness was somehow teleported into this little girl at the moment she died and the excess energy from the transportation healed the body. From what I have observed the plants around me aren't exactly the same as on Earth and the blood must be mine, since most animals would die of blood loss, and I also don't see any bloody footprints going away from here.'
I had more or less calmed down at this point and was just looking at the facts. But the facts revealed a horrifying truth. There were things in this forest that could make a huge hole in my belly. I had to get out of this forest as quickly and as quietly as I could.
Thus I looked for moss on the trees and deduced the four cardinal directions. Next was the question, which was quite problematic, where do I actually go? I wasn't completely confident in my decision, since I could just be heading further into the forest. So I decided, by just choosing north and hoping that I would land upon civilization soon.
Lucky me, after walking through the forest for a few hours, being careful around suspicious plants, the most prominent between them the bright blue and the bright red ones, I finally saw the edge of the forest.
At that point in time, I was thinking I was so lucky, to have found an exit, but in reality, I was lucky for a whole another reason.
I finally broke the treeline and looked upon the beautiful green meadows, the distant mountains with one having a city near the peak, and the village not 100 meters from the forest. And at that point I understood the impossibility of the situation.
Humans would never just leave huge patches of space, like those meadows, empty, we would fill them up with fields and houses.
Next, the city on the mountain was completely impossible, from the way it stood, it should have fallen into the valley bellow already, and do I even have to talk about the logistics of supplying a city on a mountain? It just couldn't exist, yet I saw it with my own eyes.
And than the village, the houses were made similar to the ones in the middle ages, just with a lot more color. But that wasn't it, there was a house, maybe a bakery, that looked like it was made from candy, there was a huge tree in the middle of the village, that had a balcony, windows and a door, thus classifying as a house, and there was even a house, that looked like a carousel. It was pure madness, an impossibility after an impossibility. I would say I was sleeping, but I have already confirmed, that I am in fact not.
And than I saw them, the object that confirmed one of two things. Either I had gone completely crazy, or I was transported to another world. Neither possibility was really appealing, as I watched a group of multicolored ponies make their way out of town and seemingly towards the forest.