Learning To Live Again

by Speedy Quill


The Room

The first thing I needed was information. Cadance was more than happy to show me the Empire’s library.

I gawked are the sheer number of books housed within the walls. It had to be double the amount of Canterlot’s library!

“This could take some time.”

“I understand. I can’t reasonably ask you to look through every book-“

“On the contrary. That’s the only way I’m going to be able to get the full picture. I need to have every piece of information in regards to this kingdom, it’s magic, and most importantly anything you have about...him.”

We hadn’t dared to speak his name. We didn’t want to cause a panic. But it also felt like bad luck honestly. Saying Sombra’s name somehow breathed new life into him. I didn’t want that and neither did Cadance or Shining Armor.

Cadance escorted me to a private room.

“This can be your study so that you have easy access to whatever you need. Every book is right in this main hall. But books on...the last subject have all been locked away.”

She held up a key.

“You must promise me that you won’t lose this key or any of the books you find.”

I nodded as I accepted the key.

“You have my word.”

She nodded and turned to leave.

“I’ll let you get to work. But if you have any questions, I’ve asked for an assistant to join you. He should be here soon.”

“I’ll keep an eye out. And I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

Cadance left the room and I took a deep breath.

“Sorry Rarity. It looks like I’ll be gone more than a few days.”

A knock at the door startled me.

“Uh...come in?”

The door swung inward to reveal a stallion in a robe. He had disheveled hair and a crooked pair of glasses.

“My apologies for being late. I came as soon as Princess Cadance called for me.”

He held out a hoof.

“Sunburst, at your service.”

I smiled and shook his hoof.

“So you’re Sunburst! Starlight mentioned you before I came up north.”

He seemed surprised.

“You know Starlight?”

“Of course! I consider her a good friend.”

“Huh. I didn’t know she knew the Right Hoof.”

“Either way it’s nice to meet you. You can call me Shade.”

“Shade. It’s nice to meet you.”

I think he finally registered my appearance, because he began blinking more.

“Uh...not to be rude...”

I smiled.

“Short version; I’m a former changeling. But that’s the least of our worries right now.”

Sunburst’s eyes lit up.

“Right! I’m sorry. We have much more urgent matters at hoof. How can I help?”

I walked out of the room into the main hall of the library.

“I’ll need every book regarding the history of the Empire. Also any pertaining to crystals. And I mean every book. Even if it fills that room.”

Sunburst nodded.

“I can handle that.”

“Good. I’m going to go take a look at these restricted books Cadance mentioned.”

Sunburst looked visibly disturbed.

“A word of caution Shade. There’s a reason those were locked away.”

I arched my brow.

“You’ve read them?”

He shook his head.

“I’ve never even seen them. I asked once, but Cadance said they should never see the light of day.”

“Are they that bad?”

He began walking toward the nearest shelf.

“That’s as much as I know I’m afraid. Bottom floor. Last door on the right.”

He disappeared into the stacks and I took a deep breath.

“Well that’s not concerning at all.”

I turned to the stairs and began to descend. Bottom floor? Surely there wasn’t more than one floor below?

I got to the bottom and looked around. It looked like a hall of records. It seemed the library had more to it than I knew. I began walking along the main aisle. About halfway down I discovered a smaller set of stairs going down.

“Okay then.”

I descended the stairs and found myself in a hall of doors. I began walking along, keeping an eye out for more stairs. The doors were labeled for various things; older records, supplies, furniture, etc. I came to the end of the hall and found the last door on the right. It looked older than the others. And there was a single symbol on the door. It was Old Ponish.

Danger. That’s just great.”

I put the key in the door and turned it. The sound of rusty lock pins scratched against my eardrums. I pulled the door open and-

“Oh come on!!”

My shout echoed through the hall. It was more stairs, descending into darkness.

“Fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

I summoned a ball of light and sent it ahead of me by a few paces. I began descending what was hopefully the final flight. The staircase curved in a downward spiral. Just how deep was I going? The light had drifted further ahead, always just out of sight. As I continued my trip down, it came into view suddenly. It had stopped in front of an ancient door. This door had Old Ponish inscribed on it too.

Do not release this evil.”

Cadance has said they were books....right?

I looked down at the door handle. This one didn’t have a lock. Why did that scare me more?

“Because nopony would be stupid enough to open this.”

I took a deep breath and pushed against the door. It swung inward and was consumed by the darkness. I sent my light orb ahead. It could barely illuminate anything. I began summoning more until I had a dozen orbs floating in the room. It still wasn’t fully lit, but it was enough to see the dusty contents. The room was small. There was a desk and chair, both unused for centuries I’d imagine. Opposite them was a bookshelf. It contained two books.

“Only two?”

I looked around the room. The only other item inside was a stand with a candle. I sent a spark to the candle and it erupted.

I fell to the floor as the candle settled, it’s flame casting an eerie glow on the room. Somehow this old candle was producing more light than my orbs were. I extinguished them without a thought. The room was cast in a red light from the candle’s flame. It felt unnatural. A shiver ran down my spine.

“Okay. Just grab the books and go.”

I turned towards the bookshelf. As I did, I caught the door in the corner of my eye.

Do not release this evil.

That gave me pause. Was it wise to take these books out of here? Surely they weren’t...

I locked my eyes on the books. One looked like an average book. The other one looked...odd. It’s cover seemed to have somehow mutated with age. I’d never seen that happen to a book before.

“We’ll start with the more normal one.”

I levitated the book over to the desk, a cloud of dust rising as I set it down. I cracked open the cover, curious to see the contents. I found myself reading the words aloud as they came into view.

An Account of the Dark Times, By Emerald Dawn.”

It was a journal! An actual hoofwritten account of Sombra’s reign! I didn’t even think. I began reading.

I got through five pages before everything properly connected in my brain. As soon as I processed what I’d read, I dropped the book and vomited on the floor. My whole body shook from the shock. I looked at the book, horrified that the first few pages could contain such heinous detail. How could I keep reading?

I found myself thinking of all the ponies above. Cadance, Shining Armor, Flurry Heart... I had to keep going for them. For everypony. I got to my feet and approached the book again. I paced myself so that I didn’t have another spewing episode.

Pacing didn’t help much...

I threw up three more times as I read the journal. The only reason I stopped finally was because the journal abruptly ended. I could imagine why that was. I sat in silence for several minutes, letting everything wash over me. I knew more than I wanted to know. I felt weak and ill. Could I really look at another book like that?

I looked back at the shelf, summoning the other book. I set it down in front of me. I’d never seen a book like it. The leather was a sickly shade of green almost. I didn’t dare touch it honestly. I opened the cover with my horn and stared at the first page.

That’s when I felt the temperature drop. And I felt an unwelcome, familiar aura of magic. My breathing became rapid as I realized that Sombra had made this book. My eyes followed the first few lines of text. The words looked red in the candlelight.

I am the Lord of Shadows. All who oppose me will fall to darkness. And those who don’t, will submit to me.

The candlelight flickered as though a breeze had passed through. I took a deep breath and turned the page.

The pages contained a combination of spells and journal entries. The spells were sadistic creations for his own devices. The journal entries showed his madness. Every word only proved just how evil he’d been. He tortured, enslaved, and ended countless lives all in the pursuit of power. And he didn’t give any of it a second thought. It was his nature. And it was plain to see he enjoyed every drop of blood he spilt.

Too easily I was reminded of Chrysalis for the shear cruelty behind these actions. But even Chrysalis hadn't done the things this monster had. How could he justify these heinous acts? Every other page talked about his hunt for infinite power and prolonging his life. What was the end goal though?

Every page made my stomach turn. I would have been sick again if I had had anything left in my stomach. So instead my stomach clenched up tight and my head began to pound with the imagery that I was forcing into it. I arrived at the last page and froze. Only my eyes moved as they followed the last line.

My reign shall never end. The flesh and blood of all who challenge me will continue to be proof of my power, just as this tome is.

I felt my body begin to tremble. I summoned a light orb directly over the book. The writing was red. The dark red shade of blood. As I slowly moved my hoof away from the page, I brushed against the rough stitching of the leather. It scratched against me and sent a shiver down my spine.

I jumped from the chair and backed away. I used my magic to close the book, determined to put it out of my mind. That’s when I saw the cover more clearly. The orb highlighted the mangled surface. I couldn’t look away as my eyes contemplated what I was seeing.

And then I began to scream. I hadn’t screamed this loud since Everfree. Since being torn to shreds by the timberwolves. And yet somehow, this was worse.

My mind was filled with the memories of the dead. I would forever be haunted by what I’d read. But nothing would haunt me more than the sight of Sombra’s tome; the book wrapped in skin.