Twilight Sparkle pondered on her conversation with the pegasus while she slowly arranged her reading desk back into a semblance of order. It was not like the winged mare to keep things so close to her chest as she was doing with her current paramour, and the alicorn was certain that Rainbow Dash must have let something slip during one of her visits.
In spite of her regular teasing - such as naming the castle library "Nerdsville" and insistence on calling Twilight Sparkle an egghead for spending most of her free time in the library - the blue pony was by far the most frequent visitor of all her friends. The alicorn suspected that Rainbow Dash had a genuine concern that her friend's wings would atrophy to stumps if she didn't drag her outside at least a couple of times a week. Twilight Sparkle admitted that the other pony had a point; given the option of nesting with her books or going for a fly through the country, she would pick the books every time if not for her persistent friend.
The pony mentally replayed as many of her recent visits with various friends as she could, trying to recall if any of them had made a mention of Rainbow Dash having a new boyfriend. She paused as she realized she had been ineffectually shuffling the same stack of papers for over a minute while her mind raced over her friend's revelation.
"I think I'm as excited about this as she is," the alicorn thought. "Who is he?" It was almost too much for one mare to bear. She wanted to rush off to Rarity or Pinkie Pie and babble at them about it. "Rainbow Dash has a boyfriend! Yes, Rainbow Dash! Yes, a boyfriend!" Twilight Sparkle blushed slightly as she recalled how her friend had accused her of being terrible with secrets. Perhaps the other pony had a point.
She picked up the sheaf of papers to begin shuffling it again when there was another furious knock at the door.
"Who is it this time?" muttered Twilight Sparkle as a twitch of a frown flickered on her muzzle. She had not been expecting any visitors at this time of day, let alone two. The princess had also been hoping for a bit more alone time to spend with her thoughts, but duty came first.
"Come..." she started to call, but before Twilight Sparkle could compete the sentence, the door burst open and Rainbow Dash swept into the room like a tempest.
"OK, so I ain't got this," wailed the blue pony. She flew a tight, frantic circle near the front entrance. "The book made it all sound really easy, but I keep getting the order all mixed up in my head and I'm just going to make the wrong move at the wrong time and then I'm going to lose a friend and it's all going to go wrong..."
"Calm down, Rainbow Dash," said Twilight Sparkle. "We can go over the instructions a few more times until you get it." That is, she tried to say that, but her friend was caught in a full-on panic and kept talking over the princess.
"...and now I sound like Rarity because this whole thing is turning me into a basket case..."
"CALM DOWN RAINBOW DASH!"
Silence fell over the library with a palpable "thud," and for a couple of moments the scene became a tableau of a hovering pegasus with her mouth hanging agape and a stunned alicorn with both hooves clamped over her own mouth.
"Did ... did you just use the Royal Canterlot Voice on me?" said Rainbow Dash, recovering her composure and landing a few steps in front of her friend.
"Did I?" squeaked Twilight Sparkle. "I didn't mean to. I didn't even know I knew how."
"Well that was awesome," gushed the other pony. "You totally looked bigger when you used it. Do it again!" she implored. "Say something else in that voice. Order me to go defend the realm or something because I'd totally do it if you told me to in that voice!"
"I'm not sure how I even did it," said Twilight Sparkle. "I don't know if I could do it again if I tried." She squinted at her friend, and a coquettish grin slowly crept into the corner of her mouth. "Wait, you said that you would go do things if I told you to in that voice?"
"Well," hedged Rainbow Dash, nervously backing up a step as she saw the princess's chest expand with a deep breath.
"RAINBOW DASH, GO TALK TO YOUR FRIEND!"
The pegasus winced and rubbed her ear with a hoof. "Now you're just yelling," she said. "And I can't go talk to my friend because I can't remember the instructions."
"That's okay," said Twilight Sparkle. "I still have the book out, and we can just go over them a couple more times until you get it."
The other pony shook her head emphatically. "Twilight, you know me - I can't learn that way. You can try and book train me all you want, but as soon as I step out the door it all gets jumbled again," lamented the pegasus.
"I can give you numbered notes!"
"Yeah," said Rainbow Dash flatly. "That wouldn't be weird at all."
Twilight Sparkle started to respond, and then she stopped again and a thoughtful look settled over her visage. "Rainbow Dash," she said, "you know how you practise combat manoeuvres in the Wonderbolts? You have those straw ponies you drop rocks on, and do fly-by kicks and the like."
"The target dummies," said the other pony with a snort. "They simulate an enemy so that we can practise fighting without hurting anypony."
"Exactly," said Twilight Sparkle with a big grin. "I'll be your target dummy. You can practise on me until you get it right. I'll pretend to be your friend."
Rainbow Dash blinked. "Twilight, you are my friend," she said, but the alicorn was shaking her head emphatically.
"I mean I'll pretend to be the friend you want to become more awesome friends with," said the princess. "That way you can practise your moves a few times, and if you get it wrong I will just steer you straight until you get it right. You can learn without the risk of getting hurt."
Rainbow Dash stared at her friend mutely for a moment while the words sunk in. "That's brilliant!"
The two ponies spent the next half hour arranging the scene for the practise run. The preparations mostly consisted of Twilight Sparkle doing the heavy, telekinetic lifting while Rainbow Dash fussed over the exact layout and positioning of every prop. Both of their tempers flared a bit when Twilight Sparkle insisted that the love seat was the better choice than the sofa because the latter was too wide, while Rainbow Dash got hooked up on the name of it. The pegasus finally relented when the frustrated alicorn agreed to call it a chaise lounge instead.
"But they're the same thing," the princess had muttered darkly under her breath while ignoring the rude wing gesture from her friend. The final arrangement ended up being a remarkably simple one; the two-seater was fronted by a low table with the awful friendship treatise centred on it. When the stage was finally set, Twilight Sparkle sat herself on one end of the love sea... uh, chaise lounge and nodded for her friend to begin the scenario.
Rainbow Dash trotted over to the front door, turned, coughed into her hoof, stretched her muscles a few times, and then cantered casually in the direction of the seated princess.
"Why hello, Twilight Sparkle," said the pegasus woodenly as she approached. "What a surprise to find you here."
The seated pony rolled her eyes. "You found me in the library," she said sarcastically. "What are the odds of that?"
"Hey," snorted the pegasus, stomping angrily while her nostrils flared with irritation. "What's with the attitude? Are you trying to help me or what?"
"Rainbow Dash," implored the other pony, "just because you are acting doesn't mean you have to act like you're acting. You sound like a foal reading off a cue card at a school pageant. Just be yourself, and I'll give you hints as we go." Twilight Sparkle reached over and patted the other cushion. "You guys became friends by being yourself. If you want to become a more awesome level friend, you still have to be yourself."
"I guess that makes sense," said the mollified pegasus. "OK, let's take it again from the top." Before she could turn, the princess shook her head and patted the other cushion again. Rainbow Dash shrugged, cantered over and seated herself at the other end of the chaise lounge. "OK, so I remember this part. What do I do next?"
"You could ask me what I'm doing," said Twilight Sparkle. She flipped open the book on the low table and hunched forward as if she were reading.
"So what'cha reading now, Twilight," said Rainbow Dash casually.
"Nothing terribly interesting, I'm afraid," replied Twilight Sparkle. "It's a treatise on friendship by an author who fancies herself an expert on the matter. She lives in Manehattan, and based on how unfriendly ponies can be in that city, she has come up with a flawed theory that friendship is a fixed resource, and that there is not always enough to go around." The mare lowered her voice to a stage whisper. "This is the part where you move in closer." Even as she said it, she realized that the other pony had already done so, and she became aware of the warmth of the other's flank pressed to hers.
"I've been to Manehattan," said Rainbow Dash, "and she kinda has a point."
"That's what is so dangerous about crack theories like these," said Twilight Sparkle with undeniable passion in her voice. "Outwardly it seems reasonable, but you can't just formulate a treatise based on untested, circumstantial evidence and expect it to stand up to scrutiny. She treats friendship like it's some form of energy that can be exothermic or endothermic, but the truth is more nuanced! Friendship comes from within, and it is created from the hearts of all living creatures whenever it's needed. It... uh, Rainbow Dash?"
The blue pony had her hooves pressed to the sides of her head and she was weaving slightly in her seat.
"Twilight, do I have to try and pretend that I am the least bit interested in this?" she said with a tremor of despair in her voice. "I don't think I'm a good enough actor for that."
"No," said Twilight Sparkle with an equal mix of disappointment and relief. "I guess we can skip ahead a bit."
"Phew," said Rainbow Dash. She flopped over against her friend and chuckled. "I like you Twilight, but as Pinkie's sisters would say, you could bore the bedrocks to sleep once you get started. I don't know how much more of that I could've taken."
"OK, now you move on to the next step..." began Twilight Sparkle.
"Already ahead of you, sister," said Rainbow Dash. She stretched her wings and cupped a hoof over her mouth to stifle a yawn. When she was done, she tucked her right wing back into place, but she kept her left one casually extended around the alicorn's shoulders.
"Very smooth," said Twilight Sparkle with a nod of approval. "You seem to be going through all the moves in the right order. Are you sure you need a practise dummy for this?"
"That's because I'm comfortable around you," said Rainbow Dash. "It's way easier to remember what to do when I'm not nervous about doing it wrong," she explained. "If I make a mistake, I know you won't make me feel stupid, and I can just do it again."
"Well, you're doing great," said Twilight Sparkle, giving her friend an approving pat on the flank. "Remember everything you're learning here and you'll knock this out of the park with your friend."
"That's because I've got a good teacher," said the pegasus. She gave the other pony a quick squeeze with her wing, and sat up quickly, jostling the startled alicorn. "Wait, I've got it," said the pegasus suddenly. "You can come with me. I'd be more comfortable with you there, and we could set up some hoof signals so that you could guide me though it!"
"Having me there while you make the move on your friend wouldn't be weird at all," said Twilight Sparkle dryly.
"Says the pony who was going to send me there with a hoof full of flash cards," retorted Rainbow Dash accusingly as she gave her friend another squeeze. "I'd be all like, 'hold that thought, I forgot what card I was on'."
"Well..." said her friend as a hint of a blush crept into her cheeks, "I use reminder cards all the time, so it seemed like a perfectly logical solution."
"Yeah, you should totally come with me," said Rainbow Dash with growing enthusiasm. "You could even bring your cards. We make a great team, and with you there, this would be a cinch."
"We would have team colours and uniforms?" asked the princess, stifling a giggle. "We could call ourselves Team Mares Do Well."
"Oof," said Rainbow Dash, wincing slightly. "Come on Twilight, I'm serious; I think we work really well together, and we're good for each other. I keep you from turning into some kind of hermit weirdo who only emerges from her book fort to eat and get more books, and you keep me on a straight path. I probably wouldn't be a Wonderbolt without your help."
"Oh, you'd have made it in on your own eventually," said Twilight Sparkle, blushing again. "You are too smart and talented to let anything get in your way. Aren't you the one who stopped winter so that her turtle wouldn't go into hibernation?"
This earned a nervous laugh from Rainbow Dash. "That wasn't one of my more awesome moments," she confided, then she leaned in close and whispered loudly, "but I'd totally do it again if I had to." The blue pony rubbed her chin in thought and then gave Twilight Sparkle another squeeze with her wing. "But that's what I meant when I said that we make an amazing team. I need you around to talk me out of crazy stuff like that. So what do you say?"
"About what," asked Twilight Sparkle, squirming slightly. Rainbow Dash was holding her so close now that she could smell the other mare's sweat and feel the pegasus's heart pounding in her chest.
"About making us an official team," said Rainbow Dash. "I think we're both better ponies when the other is around, and I kind of want to keep it that way. So what do you think?"
"Rainbow Dash, what are you trying to say?"
"Are you dense?" Rainbow Dash pulled back and turned to her friend and planted both hooves on her hips in frustration. "Twilight Sparkle, I am asking if you would be my special somepony!"
"Um.... yes?" squeaked the princess tentatively.
The blue pony blinked.
"Really? Wow, I thought it would be way harder than that!" She pumped a hoof and then hopped down from the love seat. "So meet up, ask questions, move in, move in more, talk about yourselves, and then pop the question. You were right Twilight - it was way easier than it sounded on paper when I had somepony to practise with."
"Yes, just so," said Twilight Sparkle, who was fanning herself under the chin with the tip of her right wing. "Do the same thing with him that you just did with me and he'll be all yours, Rainbow Dash."
"I've totally got this," said the pegasus. She extended her left wing and waggled its tip. "I made up that wing trick on the spot. Totally smooth how I pretended to yawn and then wrapped it around you there. That should work, right?"
"Very smooth, indeed," said Twilight Sparkle. "It worked for me." She hopped down from the seat and made shooing motions at the other pony. "Now you should go put that in practise before you forget what to do," she said. "Do that thing with the wing and I promise you he'll melt in your embrace."
"OK. I'm totally going to go do this now," said Rainbow Dash. She held her head high, pawed the ground with her hoof and gave a whicker of determination. "I am ready to take this on." The pegasus trotted toward the door with her head still held high as the taller alicorn cantered along encouragingly beside her. "I meant everything I said there, Twilight," she said. "You're the best. I can do this."
"I think."
"Rainbow Dash?"
"It's fine. Everything went perfect in practise, so what could go wrong?" The mare's head wasn't quite as high, and her pace was slowing from a trot to more of a walk. "I mean, I just do all the moves, say all the things, and everything works, right?" The nearer they drew to the door, the slower her pace became, and the lower her head drooped. The princess watched with growing concern as her friend's walk became a few last, hoof-dragging paces before she stopped just shy of the door with head and tail hanging low.
"Rainbow Dash, it's okay. You'll do great. Everything will be fine." she said, moving up and placing a hoof gently on her friend's shoulder.
The blue pony drew a long, sad sigh and glanced up at her friend out of the corner of her eye.
"Twilight," she said in a soft, cracking voice, "Everything won't be fine. He is a she."