//------------------------------// // Smooth Coffee, Bitter Memories // Story: Traveling A New Road // by Longhaul //------------------------------// 3. Smooth Coffee, Bitter Memories It was with a bit of trepidation that I knocked on the door to the crystal tree palace. Upon finishing my visit with Fluttershy, who proved to be an excellent conversationalist, I immediately went home and changed out of my usual work clothes. Sure, they were clean, but this was royalty I was meeting with. Add the fact that this was my first time meeting with Princess Twilight Sparkle, and my colossal case of nerves, and you can see why I felt it was important to make the best impression I possibly could. I opted for a ‘business casual’ look, consisting of a nice dress shirt, dress slacks, and a tie. The ponies in town told me that the princess doesn’t always stand on formality, so I figured I could get away with not going totally formal in dress. Rarity was nice enough to make me a set of dress shirts after I did those emergency repairs at her shop in lieu of actual bits, but the cost of these shirts alone probably exceeded what I set as the charge for unclogging the drain line after her sister decided to dispose of a failed science experiment. Rarity, to her credit, waved me off when I suggested that I should pay for such fine craftsponyship, stating that it was indeed her honor to create clothing for an entirely new and different species. In Sweetie Belle’s defense, I guess she didn’t know that her formula for quintuple-expanding foam resulted in a delayed reaction. I was even more amazed to learn that it wasn’t a science experiment at all — she was trying to make whipped cream for the dessert that evening. The door opened and I smiled, seeing a familiar and friendly face. “Hey, Spike,” I said, “I have an appointment with Princess Twilight. Is she in?” “Oh, so you’re the one that’s had her in a tizzy all morning. She’s here, dude, let me take you to the meeting room.” Spike stepped aside until I entered, and closed the door behind me. “Down this way,” he said, taking the lead and escorting me along the highly-polished corridor. I was grateful I was wearing soft-soled shoes or the racket would have been deafening. I had met Spike on my excursions through town, and usually saw him hanging around Rarity’s place quite frequently. Every now and then we’d sit and talk at Sugar Cube Corner, where I’d get him a gemstone-sprinkled cupcake and we’d discuss the goings-on around town and latest gossip from Canterlot. It made me feel better knowing that he was the princess’s personal assistant – “Number One Assistant,” he’d inform me – and I figured if she had asked, he’d put in a good word for me. “It’s been weird, dude,” Spike said as we walked. “I mean, she knew you were in town and she wanted to meet you, and everything seemed fine. Then, she gets this scroll from Princess Celestia and she’s been Twilighting all morning.” “ … I’m sorry, what-lighting?” I asked, confused by this strange term. “Twilighting. It’s what we call it when Twilight has one of her panic attacks over something trivial. I mean, I know what was in the scroll and it doesn’t seem like a big deal to me, but Twi seems to think it’s a potential disaster just waiting to happen.” We entered an enormous room, with eight chairs arranged around a circular table. The top of seven of the chairs was engraved with a cutie mark. I recognized six of them. It then dawned on me just how important many of these ponies, that I had come to call my friends, truly were, and how they could have had me kicked out of town on a whim if they so desired. This thought made me worry a bit. Hearing that the princess has sent down a scroll, which could mean that there was trouble brewing regarding my status in this world, and … I started to hyperventilate a little bit, and tried to calm myself down, which involved taking a deep breath and holding it. In my defense, I usually don’t hold it until my lips and face start to turn blue, but darn it, this was an extraordinary circumstance and maybe if I passed out they’d possibly take pity on me. After all, hadn’t I suffered enough? I was unconscious, for goodness sake. Spike saw this, and said softly, “Oh great, now he’s starting to do it too.” He gave my forearm a gentle pat. “Relax, dude, I know for a fact you’re not in trouble. Twilight just wants to get to meet you, and I think Princess Celestia was worried about how you were doing. Just be yourself, and I know Twilight will treat you good,” he reassured me. I let out the breath I had been holding, normal color returning to my face. “Thanks, Spike.” I managed a smile, trying to internalize my panic. “Any seat but Twilight’s is fine, just make yourself comfortable. I’ll let her know you’re here.” He turned and walked out of the room. I took a seat in Pinkie’s chair. I figured if anypony would mind the least, it would be her. I looked at the table closely. It wasn’t so much a table, but a map of Equestria, in 3-D. I studied the mountain ranges and looked at the towns on the map. I had traced a route to a town called Appleloosa with my eyes when Princess Twilight entered. I rose and bowed deeply. “Your Highness, it’s a great pleasure to finally meet you,” I said, my voice shaking with nervousness. She chuckled. “You don’t have to bow to me,” she said, “and you can just call me Twilight. Please, take a seat,” she said, sitting in the chair with her cutie mark on it. I returned to Pinkie’s chair. She indicated a chair next to her, which was marked with an eight- pointed star in purple and white, with blue-green curlicues rising from it. “Come and sit up here, so this way we don’t have to yell to each other across the table,” she suggested. Moving closer, I sat down in the chair she indicated. “Forgive me, but I’m a bit nervous about being here,” I said. Twilight looked concerned, and a bit surprised. “Why would meeting me make you nervous?” I took a calming breath. “The best way I could describe it is being called into your supervisor’s office for a performance review. You don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, but you’re never quite sure if this is the time you’re going to be released from your employment for some unknown transgression.” I looked down at the table. “There have been times, in previous employment back on my home world, that I was called for one of these reviews and, despite thinking everything was going great because no one had said anything negative to me, I found out that there were bigger problems than I could have suspected. That’s why I’m so nervous, and I guess I’m afraid that, at worst, you’d be telling me I have to leave here and return to my home world.” Twilight smiled and touched a hoof to my hand. “I can assure you that what you just described is not going to happen. The ponies I’ve spoken to around town speak very highly of you, Spike thinks you’re super, and I was actually quite nervous about meeting you, with all of the incidents that have been taking place recently.” I relaxed, and smiled. “Twilight, I’m quite happy here, so now you have nothing to worry about.” “I know Princess Celestia will be glad to know that, especially with two more human families leaving,” Twilight said with a touch of sadness. “Wait, two more? As of when?” I asked, stunned. “As of two days ago,” Twilight sighed. “The princesses aren’t sure if it was new, or related to that meet-up they held. You were there, weren’t you?” Twilight asked. I nodded slowly. “Yeah, I was there.” It seemed like a good idea, on paper. Invite the new human residents to the palace in Canterlot and let them mingle with the ponies of Canterlot. Similar parties worked well in Appleloosa, and like mine in Ponyville, so why wouldn’t it work in Canterlot? What actually took place was something even the princesses could not foresee happening, and it shocked them to the very core. Admittedly, at the onset, the gathering started out nice, and I was able to speak to some of the other humans that had accepted the invitation. Some of the nobility had already arrived, and for the most part, they were friendly enough. The tide turned during the course of the evening, as more of the nouveau riche nobles started showing up and treating all of the humans, myself included, as beneath them, and existing solely for their own entertainment. If capital punishment had existed, and if Princess Luna could have had her way, many heads would have rolled the next morning. Saying the experience left a sour taste in many of the humans’ mouths, mine included, would be an understatement. Spike entered, carrying a tray with a pot of coffee, two cups, a creamer, and a sugar bowl. I nodded a quick ‘thank you’ and waited for Twilight to fix her coffee before preparing mine. As I took a sip, Twilight asked, “So, what do you think went wrong? Princess Celestia knew I was meeting with you, and asked me to try to get your take on the evening.” I swallowed my coffee. “May I speak bluntly, Twilight?” I asked. Twilight nodded. “You may, if you don’t object to what you say being sent to the princesses. They’re the ones that really want to know your opinion about that night, I’m more curious than anything.” “One thing we all noticed was that many of the Canterlot nobles treated us not as equals, but as animals in a traveling circus. They wanted us to perform on command, do little tricks for their amusement. It offended one couple so bad that they left for our home world that night, just left it all behind and took off. Many others just stomped off and went back to their homes. Can’t say I blamed them actually.” “But you stayed the entire night,” Twilight interjected. “Indeed I did. And I had a blast exposing those mental midgets for what they were – mindless trendoids that were only concerned with their status and social ranking.” I sipped my coffee and continued. “It’s possible I had more experience dealing with those types of idiots than some of the other humans, but one thing I refused to let happen was for them to make me feel inferior to them in any way. I even came out on top during many of those mental jousts.” “And your party here went a lot smoother,” remarked Twilight. “I talked to Pinkie about it when I got back into town. What do you think was the reason?” “Because the ponies here are more grounded than those hoi-polloi airheads in Canterlot. Granted, I’m basing it on only the ponies I’ve met, and I’ve never really explored Canterlot all that much. I’m sure there are some nice ponies living there, and I did meet a few before the evening took its turn for the worse. The ponies here in Ponyville don’t hide their feelings. If they like you, you’ll know. Same if they hate your guts. But first and foremost, they treated me like an equal. Just another regular Joe, not as an inferior species. There was no pretense, no putting on airs … anything they said or did felt genuine.” Twilight thought about all of this. “I’m inclined to agree with you. When I first came to town, they accepted me as me, not as Princess Celestia’s protege.” With her magic, she floated over a piece of parchment and rolled it tight. “I’ll have Spike send this to the princesses in a little while. Now then, since the official business is out of the way, how about we sit and get to know each other a bit?” Twilight asked. I smiled. “That’s a delightful idea, Twilight.” She smiled in return. *~*~*~*~* It was a beautifully cool night. I sat outside in the backyard, watching the pegasi move the clouds into position for the big storm scheduled to occur in the morning. With a glass of sweet tea sitting on the table next to me, I laid back and thought about how far I had come in my life, and everything that I had done up to arriving here in Equestria. Twilight was a gracious hostess, with a seemingly boundless source of curiosity. She peppered me with questions about my past, what life on my home planet was like, what I missed most, what I liked about living here. I did my best to answer everything as completely as I could. She seemed quite sad to have to end our chat, but “royal duty calls,” she said, and we made arrangements to talk again very soon. The night sky here was different from the one I knew. The biggest difference being that the royal sisters controlled the rising and setting of the sun and moon. I was also amazed to see so much night sky, without the effects of light pollution. It got pretty dark out here, but the natural light of the moon and some of the brighter stars more than made up for that. A soft, almost imperceptible beating of large wings and a soft thump on the ground behind me alerted me that I had a visitor. Only one pony took the time to stop in at this time of night. I turned and smiled at Princess Luna as she folded in her wings. “Hello, Luna,” I said, “the cushions are all there for you.” Luna smiled as she approached. “Wast thou alerted to our arrival, or dost thou always keep cushions ready for unexpected guests?” “Mostly the latter,” I chuckled. “Given that I only know one pony that prefers the lounge chairs.” Luna set up the cushions and settled in. “We are most pleased that thou art making friends in town. Even Twilight Sparkle is impressed with thee.” I nodded. “High praise indeed.” I poured Luna a glass of tea. “So, is this social or business?” Luna took the glass with her magic and took a long drink. “Business, mostly. Three more families have departed for the human world today, we weren’t sure if ‘t be true thou had heard.” “Three?” I asked, surprised. “Twilight told me of two earlier today. Who was the third?” “The family we placed in Manehattan,” Luna said with a sigh. “They sent their notice to Tia and were gone within the hour.” “Oh yes, I remember them,” I said, searching my memory. “I spoke to them at the get-together at the castle. Lovely people.” I looked over at Luna. “Can you tell me the reason they gave? If not, I understand...” “Nay, privacy prevents us from speaking such,” Luna said apologetically. “But, it upset Tia to the point that she’s considering canceling the project.” I remained silent for a few minutes, draining my glass, before turning to Luna. “So … is that a subtle hint that I should begin packing my things because I’m about to be sent back?” I asked quietly. “What? Oh, nay, nay! All humans that are still here are allowed to stay indefinitely,” Luna explained quickly. “We refer to accepting new applicants. Tia thinks we should devote our time and energy to watching over those that remain and making sure that any concerns are addressed as quick as possible.” I released the breath I had been holding. “Well, that’s good news. I’ve actually grown to like it here, and I’ve met some wonderful ponies that I now call friends. I’d hate to have to leave that behind.” I thought for a moment. “I also think I know why the Manehattan family left.” “Oh?” Luna asked, intrigued. “Wouldst thou care to share thy hypothesis?” “Certainly,” I said, pouring myself another glass of tea and topping off Luna’s. “When I spoke to them, they told me that they were originally from a small town in the middle of the country. And I mean small. Appleloosa would have dwarfed them in population alone.” I took a sip. “All they knew were small-town ways, where neighbors all knew and got to know each other, they lived at a more relaxed pace … and they were set into a major metropolis, very busy, noisy, crowded, no one got to know anyone and no one really cared. They told me they wanted to transfer, but their application was rejected.” Luna looked shocked. “So, if ‘t be true they had been allowed to move to, say, Appleloosa or Dodge Junction...” “They might still be here,” I finished. “It wasn’t a failure of the program, but a simple miscalculation of living arrangements.” “But, it is from a large city from whence thou came, and thou hast adapted to life in this small town rather quickly,” Luna queried. “I also spent a good portion of my life in small towns and farming communities,” I answered, “and didn’t move to the bigger cities until I was much older. So, it was easier for me to adjust downward than it would be for someone to adjust upward, if that makes sense.” “Surprisingly, that maketh perfect sense.” Luna smiled a little. “We shall speak with our sister and arrange for a more careful screening of the people we talk to and learn more about how and whither those people lived. ” I took another sip of tea. “Glad I could be of help.” “There is one other thing we wanted to ask of thee,” Luna said hesitantly, “and thou art free to decline, of course.” “You don’t want to use me for medical research, do you?” I asked, half-jokingly. Luna chuckled and shook her head. “Nay, we were wondering if ‘t be true thou would be willing to come to Canterlot for a few weeks and perform thy handyman service thither. Word of your prowess has spread amongst the nobles and they clamor for thee to come and work for them.” I remained expressionless. “Frankly, I’d rather be the medical experiment.” Luna rolled her eyes. “Oh, comest on, thou knowest all of them are not wicked in their ways.” “Forgive me, but what party were you at that night?” I replied. “All I seem to remember is being introduced by Celestia, and being treated like the opening act of the freak show. They were told we were reasonably intelligent beings, yes?” Luna raised a hoof. “Okay, we admit that mayhap some of the nobility got a little out of hoof--” I snorted. “More than ‘a little.’” “But our point is thus,” Luna continued, “that there are good nobles out thither, many of whom attended not that gathering that night, who would like a chance to interact with thee. They have stated their willingness to pay any price for thy services, simply for a chance to see thee at work. We can even put thee up at the castle, to save the expense of a hostel. Shall thou at least consider our proposal?” Images of instant wealth began to dance through my head before I was able to finally subdue them and place them in a tight-fitting cage. Luna had no reason to lie to me; in fact, Luna has been the most open of the royal sisters since my arrival. Could it have been possible that I didn’t get a full sampling of the nobility in Canterlot, instead seeing perhaps the most boorish of the lot? I sighed, and took out my calendar book. “Okay, I’ll do it. I can leave the day after tomorrow, which should give me enough time to let my regulars know and spread word around town that I’ll be gone for--” I looked ahead on the calendar-- “about a week. If it goes well, I can make myself available for special calls.” I closed the book after making my notations. “I will have to adjust the rate schedule a bit, owing to travel costs and such, but it will be reasonable.” Luna smiled. “We are sure that shan’t be a major issue. And we are joyful that thou hast decided to reconsider thy stance.” “Well, if I encounter the type of behavior I encountered at the gathering, the deal’s off and I come back here. I’m hopeful that I shouldn’t have to invoke that condition.” Luna nods. “Fair enough.” I smile, and go into the house quickly. Luna watches me curiously as I return with a small tray of snack cakes. Round in shape, they are covered with a chocolate coating. “I managed to successfully recreate a dessert treat from my home world. It’s a thin vanilla cake with marshmallow filling, covered with a chocolate ganache. Would you like to try one?” I offered. Luna levitated one close to her muzzle, giving it a few sniffs, before taking a bite. Her expression changed to one of curiosity to one of delight. “Mm, these are quite tasty,” she said after swallowing her sample. “I’m glad you like them,” I said. “They’re called, ‘moon pies.’”