A Tale of Two Ponies

by Silicas

Prelude: Celery and Crossed Eyes

The voice of the younger recruit pulled Streamrider’s train of thought back to reality. Not entirely sure of what he had said, the elder guard asked his comrade to repeat himself.

“Oh. I was just wondering when this shift ended,” the pegasus beside him answered. “My hooves are quite worn-out, and I think I could use a good rest.”

Russet’s tone annoyed the more experienced soldier, but he responded as kindly as he could. “Er… The clock tower should signal the end of the seventh hour any minute n–”

Before he could finish, the first stroke of the clock resounded through the stone hallways of Canterlot Castle. The younger recruit wasted no time in rushing to the guard barracks. His partner trailed him at a more leisurely pace.

As soon as the two were out of their golden armor, Russet wandered outside of the barracks to a small garden nestled beside one of the castle’s interior walls. As he watched the night sky, he barely noticed Streamrider trot up alongside him.

The elder guard’s voice echoed in the small exterior space. “You okay?”

He was greatly enjoying the night’s ambiance. The crisp air, the gently oscillating chirps of crickets, a muted breeze accompanied by the rustling leaves of a few trees, all filled his mind with an almost forceful calmness.

Streamrider glanced to his side, looking at his new companion. Despite the peaceful environment, Russet still seemed to hold an air of deep-seated discontent which puzzled him.

In a detached voice Russet mumbled, “Yah. There’s just so much to be done. When it’s all finally finished, though, I know this will have been worth it.”

Before Streamrider had a chance to respond, a horrid retching sound shot through the cold night air.

Luna galloped in the direction of a castle balcony, flinging doors open ahead of her and slamming them after she passed through. Her vision was a blur as she sped past the pictures and cloth hangings which decorated the castle walls. Luna hardly knew where she was going; something subconscious was directing as she made her way through the winding castle halls in search of some outdoor area. The night air, she hoped, would calm her upset stomach.

The princess burst through a pair of low-set double doors and skidded to a halt just before the railing of a small exterior balcony. Luna took a deep breath, but even the crisp night air could not prevent the inevitable. With an ear-splitting retch, Luna spewed her uncompleted meal over the edge of the parapet. The fine mist of partially digested celery and stomach acid fell a full eleven stories before sprinkling a pair of pegasus guard recruits that were lounging in the small garden below the balcony.

Each raised his head just in time to glimpse a dark figure retreating over the edge of the railing far above them.

“Did somepony just…?”

“I – I think so.”

“Just as soon as you thought you’d seen it all,” quipped the elder guard.

Turning and motioning for Russet to do the same, Streamrider reentered the castle halls. When he sensed that the younger recruit had yet to follow him, he directed his gaze backwards. The pegasus recruit was attempting, in vain, to remove a thin fiber of celery from his left wing.

“Euhhgh. This had better turn out to be worth it all.”

Luna meandered towards her quarters. As she passed by the evenly spaced dark blue wall hangings that identified her portion of the castle she was lost in thought. Even after losing her dinner, she was still not feeling well. This was the third time this week that she had become so suddenly sick. That, coupled with a nearly insatiable hunger, made for a very unhappy co-ruler of Equestria.

The alicorn’s thoughts were interrupted as gray pegasus pony collided with her. A sizable stack of packages hit the ground and scattered as they bounced of the thin rug that covered the floor. The carrier of the packages followed her cargo, landing face-down among the small golden starbursts that were delicately sewn into the fabric underneath her.

“Now look what you’ve done, Derpy!” the mailmare muttered to herself. “It’s bad enough that you’re lost in this place.” The pegasus looked up, words cut short as her misaligned amber eyes recognized her ruler. The pony stuttered as she rose to her feet. “Oh, Princess Luna! I– I– Lemme just get out of…”

One hoof sticking out behind her, Ditzy Doo struggled to push the packages towards the outer edge of the hallway. Head held precariously close to the castle floor, she tripped over her own hooves and tumbled to the cold castle floor once again. Ditzy began to tear up.

Stepping closer to watery bubble-flanked mare, Luna leaned in and reassured, “No. No. Do not cry. I was not looking where I was going. It is not your fault.” Extending a foreleg to lift the lowered chin of the pegasus, she continued softly, “Now. What’s your name, and where were you trying to go?”

“D– D– Ditzy Doo, your highness,” the mare replied through restrained sobs, “But most ponies just call me Derpy. I’m looking for the guard barracks; I have these packages to deliver.”

“My,” Luna answered, “you are quite lost.” Looking to the side, and speaking in a brighter tone, Luna offered, “Let me help you with those.”

Summoning some magic, the princess levitated the strewn packages from the castle floor and arranged them neatly in a stack beside Ditzy Doo. Luna smiled, remembering Twilight Sparkle’s lessons.

Crooked eyes still averted, Ditzy responded in a volume just barely audible, “Thank you, Princess.”

Collecting the boxes in her forelegs and balancing them precariously on her back, the mailmare turned to continue her search – this time floorbound.

“Why don’t you let me show you?” Luna asked as the pegasus continued down the hall away from her. “There are not any guards in this part of the castle to help you, and you are more likely to be arrested by a patrol than to receive their help at this hour.”

Turning once again to face her princess, Ditzy, head still lowered, said, “I couldn’t possibly ask you... I’m sure I can find my way on my own.”

“You need not worry. I would quite enjoy a simple conversation on the way.”