//------------------------------// // Chapter 75 - Surf And Turf // Story: Off The Mark // by Goldfur //------------------------------// I have yet to understand changeling queens. From Chrysalis to Carpacia and now Apicula, they all confused me as to their reasoning and desires. I had found out earlier that day that, as her liberator, the Southern Wastes Hive queen now felt she had an obligation to me. And yes, that included Apicula trying to appoint herself to serve as my advisor, despite the fact that the position was already filled. When she told me her intentions, we were in the privacy of my office. After recovering from my surprise, I told her that she could best serve Equestria by rebuilding her hive and allying it with Equestria under our authority. “You would be our ruler?” she had asked, looking at me intently. “Only if you wish. One option is for Equestria to annex the Southern Wastes territory and that would automatically make you citizens entitled to our royal support and protection.” She nodded. “I expected that might be your response. You are always concerned foremost with the welfare of your little ponies and now for my changelings under your guardianship. You will make a fine mate.” I had a coughing fit. “I… wait… what?” She tilted her head and gave me a puzzled frown. “Did you not know that changeling queens mate with pony stallions?” “Yes, but you already have three princesses.” “They are my sisters; I need heirs. And did you know that almost all of my hive’s warriors were killed in its defense? Besides, a mating is required to stimulate egg-laying for the drones needed to replace those lost to the Storm King.” That was something that Chryssy had neglected to tell me, and I realized that I had just virtually offered myself as a stud for Apicula because I misunderstood her. “I already have a wife and herd-mate!” I protested. “Why does that matter? You pony stallions protest a lot but you still service your mares whenever you are asked.” She had a point. By Equestrian custom, she had a right to ask, and she certainly had the social rank. The fact that she was a changeling rather than a pony was only a minor sticking point compared to how Trixie might feel about the matter. Not that this was completely without precedent. I had, after all, acceded to the pleading of the Plague-Dimension Trixie to be a surrogate for her deceased husband. Then again, I hadn’t been married at the time. “I’ll think about it,” I promised. “I need to talk to my wife about this.” Apicula nodded. “I will expect your answer soon. Meanwhile, my eldest sister, Diadem, seeks experience working with ponies. I had been training her before we were invaded and I believe she could fit in well at the Royal Court.” While I suspected that the changeling queen had mentioned her sister at this moment because I was flustered, nevertheless, I was happy to grasp the offered straw. “Sure, I reckon we can find a place for her. Just one proviso though.” “And what is that?” “She has to work in her natural form. No disguises. After all, we are trying to normalize the presence of changelings in our society. And don’t bother telling me that you’ve always been among us – I know. Logic does not play a part in that argument.” Apicula smirked. “Yes, I noticed that tendency among you ponies.” “And used it against us on many occasions, no doubt,” I replied. She said nothing but her smile seemed smugger than ever. As I had promised Twilight, Trixie and I took care of the majority of the royal duties while the alicorn concentrated on running the school. Our co-regent spent the first few weeks fine-tuning the classes after the E.E.A. had their authority to meddle taken away. Actually, that’s not quite right. The E.E.A. had their entire everything taken away. Their building got repurposed as a community fine arts center. Twilight’s duties at school and creating the new E.B.E. (Equestrian Board of Education) were certainly keeping the mare very busy. Therefore, when the weekends rolled around, my wife and I took it upon ourselves to ensure that Twilight relaxed for a couple of days. While our co-ruler was a workaholic, there was no point in letting her grind herself into the ground. And so, as was our wont, we dragged her to our favorite relaxing place – the Ponyville Spa. Of course, that did not stop Twilight from languidly nagging me for Starlight Glimmer’s services. That the mare in question was also soaking in the big tub with us made no difference. My advisor seemed amused but I knew that she had been intrigued by the idea of becoming headmare of the School of Friendship ever since I had passed on Twilight’s intentions. “Look, Twi,” I began, “I still haven’t found a replacement for Glimmy—” “Not quite true,” Penny interrupted with a grin. For once, she was out of uniform and in the tub with us while Crimson Boulder had guard duty. Let it be known that, even in my Marklestia form, I could no longer match my bodyguard for the sheer volume of water thrown up by my wings. Regrettably, Aloe and Lotus showed no tolerance for our attempts to submerge each other one sheet of water at a time. I frowned at Penumbra. “No matter how competent Queen Apicula might be or how much she wants the position, she’s not the right mare for the job.” Both Trixie and Penny snorted in laughter and shared a knowing look. My wife said, “Trixie believes that is not the only position she wants from you.” The batpony showed me all her fangs. “Let’s see… there’s reverse cowpony, eastern-facing weathervane, the hydra…” Trixie added, “Diamond doggy, the hot seat…” I dunked my head under the water so I wouldn’t have to listen to their overactive imaginations. Fortunately, they seemed to have run out of options by the time I had to resurface. “What I want to know is what is it about changeling queens? Cady reckons Chrysalis is flirting with me despite her rabid denials, Postgena also insists that it’s true, and now Apicula wants me to be her stud! What’s next – Carpacia coming over for a little nookie? Stop laughing! I’m serious!” Every mare in the tub was chuckling over my discomfiture and I thought I could hear Aloe and Lotus giggling too. I suppose I had to be a little grateful though. Trixie had originally been a little terse about her response to the news. ‘It is your choice, Park Smells.’ Now, she was laughing along with the others. My dilemma might not be solved, but at least I wouldn’t be sleeping on the proverbial couch later. As none of the mares offered a way out for me, I was forced to assume that they were all making it my own problem to solve. Sheesh! See if I help them out of a jam next time! I was going to have a good sulk when a familiar voice put that thought out of my head for the moment. “COWABUNGA!” Everyone with a horn threw up a shield to save themselves from the mighty splash as an exuberant black alicorn filly plunged into the middle of the tub. No matter how often she was scolded, Nyx still kept doing it. I blamed the Crusaders for teaching her how much she could get away with, and Twilight was way too lenient. Probably just as lenient as I would be if Gemini followed suit, admittedly. I looked forward to that day. As the giggling filly surfaced, Twilight said, “Nyx, you know you don’t need to drench us to get my attention. Why do you keep doing it?” “Because it’s fun to see your faces,” she replied with a grin. The alicorn sighed. “You have a point. Anyway, what do you want that couldn’t wait until later?” “I want to go to the School of Friendship.” Twilight blinked. “Why? I thought you liked being in Cheerilee’s school with your Crusader friends.” “I do, but they want to go to your school too.” “Ah, I see. However, they don’t need to go to my school. They’re already ready and willing to make friends with any creature. After the lesson that they learned with Zecora, they’ve always been open to novel experiences, and that includes getting to know some of the species that are new to Equestria.” “Yeah, but we hardly get the chance to talk to any of your students. They’re always holed up in the school and involved with some sort of friendship exercise,” Nyx said with a pout. “Even on the weekends?” I queried. Twilight replied, “The school provides a wide range of activities for the students so that they can indulge in and further the bonds of friendship. I suppose that they’ve been having too much fun to get out and about much as yet.” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Hmmm. Maybe that’s a little counterproductive. We want the foreign students to also get acquainted with the citizens of Ponyville and vice versa. The townsponies are pretty adept at adjusting to sudden changes, both big and small.” “It’s early days yet,” my wife said. “The novelty will wear off and the students will start exploring new options. No matter how Great and Marvelous one of Trixie’s shows was, the audience members rarely came back for a fifth performance and she had to move on.” Twilight blinked and then nodded. “You have a point, but maybe we can adjust things to encourage the students to go out and interact with the Ponyville citizens. Perhaps I could arrange a field trip with Cheerilee for her students to meet ours.” “That’d be awesome, mom!” The alicorn mare nuzzled her daughter and then raised her voice slightly. “Did you hear that, girls?” “Yes, Twilight,” chorused a trio of young voices from out of view just beyond the edge of the hot tub. We all chuckled. No one was surprised that the Crusaders had sent Nyx ahead to butter up her mother. Trixie asked, “So how is your new colt faring?” Twilight beamed. “Regis Novellus is the most curious foal I’ve ever seen or known! I turn around and he’s gotten into something else. I’ve had to foalproof the entire castle and he still gets into places he has no reason to be. Now I know to look for drawers pulled out to be used as stairs or a ladder. Plus I listen for his snores coming from every cabinet or box that was locked or sealed just the day before. On a couple of occasions, he’s gotten out of his crib, through locked doors, and even around some of the more benign wards I’ve set up. Given the construction of the Castle of Friendship, I’m beginning to suspect he’s a latent crystalmancer!” She waved a hoof. “His latest obsession is Moon Dancer, or more specifically, the crystallized honeycomb that she keeps as a snack. Ever since she gave him a piece to sample, Regis has been tracking her down late at night during her study sessions. It doesn’t matter if she’s in the library, her room, or the kitchen; Moon Dancer is sure to find his expectant and cheerful face looking up at her.” Twilight continued with a bit of a frown. “I thought about discouraging both of them, but at least this way, I always know where to find my foal around 1 AM: curled up on Moon Dancer’s back and snoring peacefully.” I chuckled along with the other listeners. Trixie and I shared a look of understanding and a nod. While Gemini hadn’t been that much of a hoofful yet, we knew it was just a matter of time. Nopony saw this coming. Twilight, Trixie, and I stared at the map table and the four cutie marks hovering over Ponyville. I already suspected that my plans for the coming week were going to have to be changed in spite of the fact that none of the floating symbols was mine. “How soon do you think it’ll take them to get here?” I asked. “Trixie wonders why they aren’t here already.” Twilight said, “If they were at their clubhouse, which is where they typically are at this time on Saturday, then they’ll probably arrive right about—” “TWILIGHT!” chorused four filly voices as their owners burst into the map room. “—now,” Twilight concluded. Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Nyx, and Apple Bloom crowded around the table, pointing excitedly at their symbols above the map and the pulsating cutie marks on their flanks. “It’s true!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “We’ve been summoned by the cutie map!” Scootaloo crowed. “The Crusaders have a mission!” Apple Bloom said proudly. “Where do we have to go, mom?” Nyx asked. “Let’s see,” Twilight replied, focusing on the map. It zoomed in until it was over the School of Friendship, specifically the courtyard. The alicorn raised her eyebrows. “Does one of the students have a friendship problem? That doesn’t make sense! The whole point of the school is to teach ways of dealing with them.” I said, “Obviously, there’s something we’re missing. No point in speculating though – let’s go there and see if we can help narrow it down for our junior Friendship Problem solvers.” Twilight said, “The students are my responsibility so I have to go, but you don’t, Mark.” I shrugged. “I’m an honorary Crusader, so why not?” My wife lounged on Twilight’s crystal throne and put her rear hooves on the table. “Trixie will monitor the situation from here, Earmark Clamshells.” She tilted her sun hat over her eyes and yawned. Scootaloo grabbed one of my forelegs and started dragging me toward the door. “Right! Now, let’s stop wasting time and get on with it.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Alright, girls, I know you’re excited to get your first Friendship Mission, but try to curb your normal overabundance of energy. This is a serious task.” “We know, Twilight,” Sweetie Belle replied, “but the map table didn’t summon any adult pony for the job, just us!” I smirked at the alicorn. “She’s got you there, Sparkles.” My co-ruler did not dignify my comment with an answer as we exited the castle and made a left turn towards the School of Friendship. It has been my experience that it’s seldom obvious what the friendship problem could be. Even in Our Town, although the problem was pretty blatant, it had still taken the Elements and me some time to identify the root cause. However, I think the Crusaders got a lucky break this time. While most students were elsewhere engaged with one of Twilight’s many activities, a somber male hippogriff was sitting in the central courtyard staring at some papers held in one of his talons. The foals obviously had the same thought as me because they took one glance at each other, nodded, and then charged over to talk to the student. “Hi!” Nyx said. “We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” Apple Bloom added with a smile. Scootaloo said, “You look like you have a problem.” Sweetie Belle held out a hoof. “Can we help?” The hippogriff looked at the four and then up at Twilight and me. He shook his head. “Thanks, but I don’t think you can.” “You can at least talk about it,” Apple Bloom encouraged. “Mah big sister always says it’s best to get yer troubles off’n yer chest. What’s yer name?” The hippogriff sighed. “I suppose it can’t hurt. I’m Terramar. Me and my sister, Silverstream, were sent here as students. She loves it at school but I get a little homesick. So our parents send me letters to keep me up to date with the news back home.” “Are those the letters?” Nyx asked, pointing to the papers with a wing. Terramar nodded. “I got them both in today’s mail.” “That’s good though, isn’t it?” Scootaloo asked. “Yeah, but they both want me to come home next holiday to stay with them.” “Why is that a problem?” Sweetie asked. “Because I can’t decide which one to stay with.” Oops! It looked like his parents were separated. This sounded more like a counselor’s job than the Crusaders’, but I didn’t even get a chance to open my mouth before Apple Bloom spoke up. “Okay, girls – seems like we done found ourselves our mission.” She held a hoof up in the air and the other three joins theirs to hers. “Cutie Mark Crusaders Friendship Problem Solvers!” they chorused. Terramar looked a little bewildered. “What’s going on?” Scootaloo said, “We’re going to help you figure out your problems. Don’t worry because we’ve been summoned for this so you know it’s going to work out.” “How are you going to do that?” “Well, obviously we have to go there and see the situation for ourselves,” Sweetie replied. “But the holidays don’t start until next fortnight and it takes a day by train just to get there.” Nyx turned to Twilight and gave her the puppy-dog eyes. “Please, mom, can we go to Terramar’s home?” Twilight put a hoof to her forehead and groaned. “You four really shouldn’t because you’ll miss out on school for at least two days.” “Pleeeeaaase, Twilight!” the four fillies pleaded. “Even if I said yes, you can’t travel there by yourselves, and I can’t go because I have too many responsibilities here at the school,” Twilight objected. I said, “I’m already going to be headed down that way with Queen Apicula to pick up her sister, Diadem. We could leave sooner and do that on the way back. It’ll give me an excuse to touch base with Queen Novo and introduce her to Apicula too.” Twilight glared at me for pulling the rug from under her. “Sorry, not sorry, Sparkles. I’m curious to see how this is going to work out.” The alicorn groaned. “If this wasn’t an official Friendship Problem from the Cutie Map, I would say no—” “We’re going!” Scootaloo crowed. “—But… Mark’s in charge of looking after you so, while it’s not his mission, you will pay attention to what he tells you.” “Okay, mom.” Nyx gave Twilight a hug. The other three also hugged the alicorn and thanked her. Twilight said, “You three, let your families know what’s going to happen. I’ll make some arrangements in the meantime and will let Cheerilee know that you’ll be absent for at least Monday and Tuesday. Expect her to give you homework to do on the train.” Coincidentally, each of the fillies developed a horrible toothache right then. That’s the only explanation I could come up with for their piteous moaning. The purple alicorn then turned to the confused hippogriff. “Terramar, you’re excused from classes until you return. Since the map table believes it to be so important, I suggest you focus on this family problem. I’ll talk to your teachers. You can catch up on your homework when you return. Don’t dawdle though.” “Yes, Headmare. I don’t know what these fillies can do to help, but it’ll be nice to go home, even if it’s just for a little while.” Twilight then gave me a sly smile. “And since you won’t be needing your advisor for a few days, Starlight can spend that time getting to know how the school runs.” My ears drooped. Suckered again. When the train from Canterlot stopped at Ponyville station, Queen Apicula greeted me regally as I entered the Royal Carriage. I settled down on a couch and the changeling queen sat by my side. The placement was not lost on me but I chose to ignore it. She was accompanied by a contingent of Royal Guards who had escorted her to Canterlot station. They had been there more to prevent some skittish ponies from panicking at seeing a changeling queen waiting for the train than to protect her. I dismissed them, leaving just Penny and Crimson Boulder. Apicula eyed Terramar and the fillies who had followed me into the carriage. “Are these younglings lost?” I grinned and shook my head. “Nope. They’re the reason for our change in plans. Don’t worry – they have their own sleeping compartments but, for now, they’ll be traveling with us.” “You are a strange royal, Prince Mark Wells.” “Comes from rising from the peasantry, Your Majesty.” She rolled her eyes but said nothing more, so I introduced the “younglings” to her with the exception of Nyx whom she had already met. This was reinforced when they greeted each other with a complicated series of hoof clops done so quickly that I could barely follow their movements. I then filled her in on the nature of map table missions and the CMC’s in particular. I had left those details out of the message sent to Canterlot warning Apicula about the altered itinerary. After I was done, she made two surprise announcements. “I have learned much during my talks with the Triarchy, in particular, Princess Twilight Sparkle’s research teams. You have already benefitted from my hive’s advanced magitek,” she said as she indicated my crown. “It seems to me that you would find uses for many of our other inventions. So, in gratitude for saving me and my hive, I am gifting the Equestrian Crown with all of the Southern Wastes Hive’s most sophisticated devices. They will be accompanied by our most brilliant scientist and inventor.” “That is most generous of you. I’m sure that Equestria will be better for them.” I chuckled. “Not to mention sending Twilight into a tizzy with delight.” “No doubt,” Apicula barely cracked a smile. She really needed to lighten up a bit. She continued, “On another subject, as you are aware, I have been insisting on convening an emergency session of the Council of Queens because of the recent rapid changes to society. I have been coordinating with the other changeling hives across Equestria and Hivemother Twilight Sparkle jumped at the opportunity. She has given me her full support and offered to host the meeting at Friendship Castle. However, she has insisted that her husband be allowed to attend. Queen Carpacia agreed to Twilight Sparkle’s proposed meeting without comment. Queens Polistae and Sanguine Dreams objected but nevertheless agreed once we acceded to their demand that King Thorax not be allowed to vote.” That gave me the impression that the two queens I had yet to meet, Polistae and Sanguine Dreams, would rather pretend the existence of a changeling king was something to be ignored. Knowing Carpacia’s dry sense of humor, I suspected she intended to further obliterate a thousand years of tradition that guided the changeling queens. If Carpacia had to swim without a life vest, why not force the other hives to do the same? “Sounds promising. If we are going to successfully integrate changelings into the new society, it’s important that every hive is part of the discussion.” “If it was that simple, we would be halfway there. However, while the queens will represent all changelings, it’s equally important that ponies and other Equestrian citizens be represented. Therefore, I insisted that you and Princess Trixie be allowed to attend. That’s where the proposed council nearly fell apart but I persisted. With Twilight Sparkle and Carpacia’s support, the vote was three to two in favor of the proposal. However, there is no way to force Queens Sanguine Dreams or Polistae to attend. In the end, after I pointed out that the precedent of non-voting attendees had been their idea, they agreed, but only on the condition that Queen Chrysalis be included.” “Which one suggested that?” “Sanguine Dreams.” I grimaced, my ears lowering. “Sounds like she thinks that we’ll refuse, giving them both an excuse not to come.” “You or Princess Trixie certainly can veto the Council on that basis if you so choose.” I shook my head. Once again, the mares around me had made all the relevant decisions. However, I certainly wasn’t going to miss this opportunity to normalize relations with two more changeling hives. “If that’s what it takes to get them all together, then Chrysalis can attend. Trixie might not like it but I think she’ll support my decision.” Apicula nodded. “Good.” She hesitated for a moment before continuing diffidently. “With respect, may I suggest that you attend in your mare form?” I could see the sense in that idea even if I’d prefer that they dealt with my normal gender. “Anything to appease the Queens. A minor concession like that won’t make any difference to our goals.” “Then it’s settled. Once Princess Trixie is informed and gives her formal consent, I will coordinate with everyling to set the date for the Council of Queens.” Terramar was the only one amongst the children to have made this long journey before but it hardly made a difference to him. Along with the four fillies, he spent much of the journey watching the passing scenery before night fell. However, that didn’t stop the Crusaders from talking with him in the hope of getting more information to solve the Friendship Problem. They quickly found out that while his father was a hippogriff, his mother was a seapony. “I don’t get it,” Scootaloo said. “If your mom’s a seapony then you obviously can’t stay with her.” She frowned in puzzlement. “Actually, how can she even be your mother?” It still was not common knowledge that the two races were actually different aspects of a single one. I spoke up, giving Terramar a wink. “Wait and see, girls. I think you’ll be surprised.” The young hippogriff caught on and grinned back. It would let him have some fun showing off their ability to swap between species. Maybe the fillies would get the chance to see what it was like to be a seapony too as Trixie and I had done on our honeymoon. After dinner was served up to us by the royal chef who had accompanied Apicula from Canterlot, I let the foals play a few games before chasing them off to bed. If I had timed it right, they wouldn’t wake until after sunrise. That would give them a chance to freshen up and have breakfast before we arrived at the Mount Aris station. Apicula was a little surprised at the casual chat that I enjoyed with Penny, Crimson, and Chef Brandy Flambé over a delightful white chocolate fondue and a glass of ice wine. Despite all she had learned about me, the changeling queen still had difficulty comprehending my preference for informal relationships with my underlings when I was “off the clock”. True, I was the bane of the Royal Guard and EUP officers who needed to maintain discipline amongst their troops, but nothing instills loyalty and camaraderie like being one of them. Penny had not hesitated for an instant to protect me from the petrifying spell, I think in part because of our personal bond. Her bravery earned her a promotion to lieutenant. Perhaps none of my other guardsponies would ever need to do so, but I knew they would if they had to. Besides, I’d rather have a drink and a laugh with them than put up with being treated deferentially all the time. That wore thin on me very quickly, hence why I reserved that mostly for when I was on duty. By now, all the regular guards knew when and where they could put aside their helmet and call me by name rather than title. I think the good humor and a couple of glasses of wine managed to loosen up Apicula a bit eventually, but she was still scandalized when we finished the evening with a game of Cards Against Ponanity. When I retired to my sleeping compartment, I did not expect a knock on my door shortly afterward. Answering it, I saw Penumbra standing there with a frown on her face. “What’s wrong, Penny?” Her eyes shifted to the side and I noticed Apicula waiting to the side in the corridor. “Her Highness insists on talking to you alone.” “I see.” I had a suspicion about what she wanted but I reckoned I’d better deal with it now. “Okay, let her in.” Penny stepped aside to let the changeling enter and then closed the door behind her. “What can I do for you, Apicula?” “Now would be a perfect time for us to mate.” Blunt and to the point. Also not unexpected. With Trixie being absent, the changeling queen would see this as the ideal time to do the deed and she would be right except for one thing. “I regret that I cannot agree to us mating.” Apicula frowned. “Why not? You would be an ideal sire and it would strengthen ties between us politically.” “Because I don’t use my offspring as political pawns. Nor do I wish to be an absentee parent. Your child would be a changeling princess and, although I believe we could raise her in Canterlot to be a happy and healthy individual, your stated intention is to produce an heir who would need to grow up in the hive and learn how to rule one day. I could not be there for her and I am not the kind of pony who can sire a foal and not have a relationship with her.” The changeling queen pursed her lips. “I believe you are making a mistake if your goal is to make closer ties between ponies and changelings.” “There are other ways to do that than conceiving children together. You changeling queens have been doing that for centuries without furthering that cause, so it’s time you began considering alternatives. For one, you can stop regarding your hive as being totally apart from all others. As far as I can determine, each hive has as little interaction with the others as you can possibly get away with. That should change. This coming Queens’ Council is your golden opportunity to start working together towards that goal. And one more thing – there’s already one hive that is making the transition.” “You are talking about King Thorax’s hive,” Apicula said. “Correct. And if you want to have a suitable sire, may I suggest that Thorax might be qualified?” The queen looked shocked. “But he’s not a pony stallion!” “So what? As far as I can see, the only reason queens don’t mate with changeling princes is that there have never been any. Now one has evolved and, to be honest, he’s superior to you.” “Because he and his colorful drones are more appealing to pony sensibilities?” Apicula scoffed. “Well, there is that, but the real reason is that he and all the evolved changelings of his hive can generate their own love. They are no longer dependent on harvesting it from other species.” The changeling queen stared at me intensely, her mouth slightly open and tongue licking her lips. I recognized this behavior as tasting my emotions and she quickly confirmed it. “I cannot detect any deception from you and yet I find it hard to credit that this is possible.” I shrugged. “What you choose to believe is irrelevant. If you had spent more time studying Thorax and the evolved changelings instead of me and the castle’s security, you might have found that out for yourself. For now, though, you’ll just have to take my word for it. That changeling king probably represents the best hope for your kind in the future.” “He has not impressed me as a strong ruler in the few brief meetings that I have had with him.” “I admit that he’s not who I would have chosen as a leader, but he did wrestle control of his hive away from Chrysalis. He also achieved something that no other of his kind had done – independence from ponies for the sustenance of his hive. That’s a precious commodity in the midst of sameness. You need someone to stir things up, look at things a different way, and bring life into a stagnant society. If you’re not careful, Thorax’s hive is going to leave yours and every other hive in the dust of history. Adapt or die.” I used my horn to open the compartment door. “Think hard about what I have said, Queen Apicula. For now, I bid you good night.” Thankfully, she took the hint and departed. Penumbra raised a questioning eyebrow and I shook my head. “I doubt that she’ll come back but if she does, the answer is still ‘no’. I’m going to bed now, so I don’t want any more disturbances barring emergencies. Have an uneventful evening, Penny.” The batpony smirked. “Pleasant dreams, Your Hardness… I mean Highness.” My face must have been burning as I swiftly closed the door. After breakfast the next morning, the fillies were back to watching the ever-changing scenery and discussing things known only to themselves. While the train had stopped at Klugetown, that happened after they were asleep so the children had not been tempted to get out and have a look around. It was not the safest city to be in even after Tempest had established a garrison there. I would have to keep a closer eye on the Crusaders on the way back though because it would be daytime when we passed through. It wasn’t long before Mount Aris hove into sight. Pegasi, and apparently hippogriffs, have superior eyesight, so Scootaloo and I were soon able to make out details. Terramar started pointing out the features to Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom as they became clearer. I was relieved to see that it looked unchanged from my previous visit. There had not been any reports of destruction when the Storm King’s forces invaded on the same day that he attacked Canterlot. We hadn’t been sure if it was because there was little or no damage, or because the hippogriffs were too proud to say anything about it. Sweetie turned to me, practically vibrating with excitement. “Can we go visit Harmonizing Heights as soon as we get to Mount Aris? Terramar makes it sound so amazing!” I grinned. “We’ll get there soon enough, but first I have to pay a visit to Queen Novo.” “But that’s got nothing to do with the Friendship Problem,” the unicorn filly whined. “Maybe not, but as a ruler of Equestria, it would be gravely insulting of me not to pay a formal visit to Her Majesty, even for a minor occasion such as this. Don’t worry – it shouldn’t take long.” “Perhaps Terramar can show us around while you’re doing that?” I gave her a flat look. “Young lady, you know as well as I do that you’re only able to do this because I am here to chaperone you. While this may be Terramar’s home, this is unknown territory for you. Just be patient. You have plenty of time to see the sights and, of course, work on your Friendship Problem.” The unicorn filly pouted but nodded. With a sigh, she turned back to the window. When we pulled into the station at the end of the line, a small contingent of hippogriff guards was waiting on the platform for us. Or more particularly, for one of the rulers of Equestria. Word had been sent ahead to expect me and my group, so the honor guard was not a surprise. I saw a familiar face among them as I disembarked. “Captain Stratus Skyranger! Good to see you again.” He gave me a tight smile. “And you too, Your Highness. Queen Novo is expecting you and will see you immediately.” He looked at the four fillies. “And these are the foals who are on some kind of quest, I believe?” I nodded. “Yes, along with Terramar who is apparently at the center of whatever the problem might be.” Stratus raised an eyebrow. “Indeed? I was not aware that we had any problems large enough to warrant a visit from one of the Equestrian Triarchs.” “While I’ll be touching base with Her Majesty to see how everything has been going since the Storm King’s defeat, I’m mostly here as just the fillies’ foalsitter.” “I see. I think. The fillies must be important if they rate a royal chaperone.” I chuckled. “They’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and I’m an honorary one too.” Stratus looked more confused than ever. After a few blinks, the Captain apparently decided to quit while he was still behind. He gave a shrug and said, “Please follow me. We must not keep Queen Novo waiting.” He led us to a carriage which we all boarded before being taken to the palace. Judging by the expressions on the faces of the four Crusaders, I think they were sufficiently distracted by the sights for the moment. Hopefully, the queen would not drag out the visit. Last time I had been here though, she tended to be short and to the point, so I was optimistic. We were led straight to the great hall and into the throne room. I came to a halt at the base of the dais and gave Queen Novo a short but respectful bow. “A pleasure to see you once more, Your Majesty.” She smiled and replied, “The pleasure’s mine, Prince Mark Wells. How is your wife? I’ve heard that you have been blessed with a foal?” “Princess Trixie is doing well, thank you for asking. She is currently looking after Gemini, our little one, while I am engaged on this trip.” “Did you have a filly or a colt? Reports were unclear on that for some reason.” “We had both.” “Both? Twins? I thought you said you had one foal?” “We did. Apparently, Gemini inherited my form-changing ability. They can be either a unicorn filly or a pegasus colt, depending on their mood.” Novo stared at me for a long moment before she started to chuckle. “You were always an unusual stallion, Prince Mark Wells. I can see that your family is going to be equally interesting.” “I certainly hope so, Your Majesty.” The hippogriff queen then looked at Apicula. “And this is a changeling queen, I believe?” I replied, “Yes. Let me introduce Queen Apicula of the Southern Wastes Hive. She is currently making arrangements with the Triarchy for an alliance between her hive and Equestria.” “I see. As Prince Mark Wells vouches for you, I welcome you to my kingdom.” Apicula stepped forward and inclined her head in modest acknowledgment of the queen. “Thank you, Your Majesty. If it pleases you, I would like to have some initial discussions about mutually beneficial services while I am here. Perhaps while Prince Mark Wells is otherwise occupied?” Novo raised an eyebrow. “How curious. You are unlike what I have heard about changelings, King Thorax’s hive notwithstanding.” “Times change and so must we to survive and progress.” “Wise words.” Novo then turned back to me. “So, what brings you to Mount Aris and Seaquestria, Your Highness? Your missive spoke of some kind of quest?” “Specifically, a Friendship Problem that the map table in the Castle of Friendship assigned to these four fillies.” I beckoned for the fillies to come forward. “You may already know of Princess Nyx, Twilight Sparkle’s adopted daughter. These are Nyx’s best friends and fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders – Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo.” Each of the fillies curtsied and didn’t speak out of turn. I mentally gave them a tick of approval. I continued, gesturing towards the last of our party. “These four will be helping Terramar resolve his problem.” Novo frowned a little. “Terramar… Aren’t you one of the youngsters that I sent to Twilight Sparkle’s School of Friendship?” “I am, Your Majesty.” “I hope that the school is not the cause of your problem this time?” “Oh, no! School’s great. It’s something a lot more… personal.” Novo seemed to weigh his words for a moment before smiling. “Then I wish you all good fortune. Prince Wells, I will assign Captain Skyranger to accompany you and your charges. You are free to visit wherever you wish, but I hope you will return to the palace in time for dinner. I have ordered a banquet to be prepared. You and I can talk at leisure then about other matters.” “You are too kind, Your Majesty.” Novo said, “And before I forget, the secret of the hippogriffs is no longer such. Enough beings became aware during our flight from the grasp of the Storm King that it is no longer practical to expect the knowledge to remain hidden any longer.” I nodded. I certainly knew how that felt. “Just like what happened with too many sightings of ‘Celestia’ some months back. Very well. I will inform my wife that you are releasing us from our oath.” I glanced behind me to see the fillies looking between each other with furrowed brows. Likewise, Crimson Boulder stole a glance at Penumbra, who smirked and gave a slight shaking of her head. I smiled and turned back to Novo. “With your permission, we will depart now so that the fillies may begin their quest.” “Very well – we will await your return. Enjoy your visit. Queen Apicula, let us converse in my private sunroom.” I bowed and turned. As we walked away from the throne, I said, “Okay, girls – now for the fun part. Told you it wouldn’t take us long, Sweetie.” “Can we go to Harmonizing Heights now?” “Don’t look at me; Terramar is your guide from this point forward. This is your quest. You four and he call the shots.” “Yay!” The four fillies began one of their famous cries. “Cutie Mark Crusader Friendship Problem Solvers!” They clopped hooves and charged out the throne room. Terramar seemed to be fully on board as evidenced by his taking wing to keep pace. So much for palace decorum. I looked at Stratus and said, “I suppose we had better catch up before we lose sight of them.” He nodded and broke into a canter along with me. “At least we know where they are headed.” Fortunately, there was much to grab the attention of the Crusaders along the way and, despite Sweetie’s rush to see Harmonizing Heights, the other three were prepared to stop and observe a lot more, usually with Terramar explaining points of significance. Some kind of ceremony and aerial display particularly caught their attention. I think that was new since my previous visit. It was obvious that the hippogriffs took great pride in their home and culture. I wondered how it would stack up against the seapony way of life. It turned out that Terramar’s father was one of those taking part in the ceremony. Sky Beak was a little surprised to see his son but pleased that he could visit for a while. I promised him that we would all come back and see him later that day, but for now, we had to move on. Even I was surprised at the sheer exuberance Sweetie manifested when we got to Harmonizing Heights. The beautiful foliage and enchanting notes created by wind blowing through the rock formations made the area just as wonderful and captivating as when Trixie and I had strolled through here, but I reckon the unicorn filly was totally entranced by it. Apple Bloom was almost as bad. It took some effort to drag them away so that they could investigate the lifestyle of Terramar’s mother next. All the fillies were surprised when the young hippogriff not only led them to the beach but also began wading into the water. Penny glared at the fillies and me from the sand, knowing what was going to happen but refusing to be part of it this time. “I call Senior Bodyguard privilege – it’s Crimson’s turn,” she insisted. “Leave your armor but take your sword and belt.” Crimson Boulder had no idea what she was talking about but shrugged and followed me into the sea after heeding Penny’s instructions. “Are we supposed to swim somewhere to see your mom?” Scootaloo asked. “Wouldn’t it be easier in a boat?” “Not to where we’re going,” Terramar replied. He turned to look at the large hippogriff guard. “Captain, would you help me, please? There are too many for me.” “No problem, young one. The queen has put me at your party’s disposal, so long as Prince Mark Wells is part of your group.” “What’s going on?” Nyx asked. “Wait and see,” I replied. I nodded at Stratus and he and Terramar reached for the pearls on their necklaces. Moments later, we were all seaponies and slipped beneath the surface. As expected, I assumed my Marklestia seapony form as had happened previously, so I was completely prepared for this. The fillies were all reacting to the change though, but none more so than Scootaloo. “This is awesome!” She zoomed off and swam circles around us. Unlike me, she took to her new form like a fish to water. Okay, that was a silly comparison even if appropriate. She was whooping and hollering as she cavorted through the sea and leaped through the waves. “This is what it must feel like to fly!” the filly yelled. The others had found their fins and started trying to match the exuberant filly. Nyx was soon gamboling with Scootaloo just as enthusiastically. As for me, my attention was on Crimson Boulder as he struggled to cope with his seapony body. I chuckled at his efforts even as I recalled that I was probably just as bad the first time. I did a roll around him and tickled him with my tail fin. “Take it slow and easy, Crimson. You’ll get the hang of it if you stop fighting your instincts.” “You knew this was going to happen?” he growled. “Yep. Trixie and I honeymooned here, remember?” “You could have warned me.” “Where’s the fun in that?” “How can I be a proper bodyguard for you when I’m like this?” “Consider it a training session.” I flicked his nose with a fin. “Or payback for all the humiliations in the arena.” “Arrgh!” He lunged for me but I slipped out of his reach with ease. Stratus was watching with some amusement and I gave him a wink. “Better keep an eye on Crimson. I think he’s going to need more help than any of the foals.” He chuckled and said, “I’ll do that, Your Highness.” Meanwhile, Terramar was trying to rein in the fillies. “Come on! If you’re going to meet my mom, we need to go now.” The young seapony led the way, closely followed by the girls. Stratus and I brought up the rear, helping Crimson along by distracting him from thinking too much about what his body was doing. The group slowed up a bit as the fillies took in the wonders of the undersea city of Seaquestria but, eventually, Terramar led us to one of the unusual structures that the seaponies called home. Opening a side panel, he yelled, “Mom! I’m home!” An adult seapony mare turned to see who was there and her eyes widened in surprised delight. “Terramar!” She swam up to give her son a hug. “What are you doing here? School holidays aren’t for weeks yet.” “I know. Something came up and the Cutie Mark Crusaders are here to help. Fillies, this is my mom, Ocean Flow.” “Pleased to meetcha!” Apple Bloom said while the others nodded enthusiastically. Ocean Flow then noticed me hanging back. “Oh! You’re Princess… uh… Prince? You’re Mark Wells, aren’t you? To what do I owe the honor of this visit?” I shook my head with a smile. “Don’t mind me, ma’am. I’m just chaperoning the foals at the moment as a favor to Princess Twilight Sparkle. Enjoy your son’s visit.” She turned back to the others. “Well, since you’re here in time for lunch, let me treat you to some delicious Seaquestrian food. Terramar – I have some of your favorite squid in the pantry.” “Oh boy! Guys – you gotta try this!” “You’re invited too, Your Highness,” Ocean Flow said to me. “Thanks, but Queen Novo is throwing a banquet for me later. I’ll wait until then to eat. I think you’ll have your hooves… er, fins full with these foals.” I did end up trying a sample of the squid at Terramar’s insistence. Who knew you could marinate seafood underwater? He was right – it tasted great! Our return to the beach was slowed up by Scootaloo who was a bundle of boundless energy and kept having to be herded back to the group, usually by Sweetie Belle who appeared to have had enough of the sea. The pegasus filly didn’t want to change back but I levitated her out of the water and Terramar transformed her with the others. She pouted as the Crusaders gathered on the beach. Terramar’s mother had accompanied us to the shore and she gave her son a parting hug just as a flock of hippogriffs came in for a landing nearby. “There you are, Terramar,” Sky Beak said. “We were about to begin some games and I thought you and your friends might like to join in. I see you’ve introduced them to your mother though.” He gave the seapony a fond smile. Ocean Flow said, “We chatted over lunch. Terramar has been enjoying his time at the School of Friendship.” Sky Beak nodded. “Our decision to send him and Silverstream there was a good one then.” They continued chatting while Terramar joined the Crusaders. “Now you see why I can’t choose between mom and dad to stay with one of them,” he said with a sigh. “They’re both great parents.” “Are you kidding me?” Sweetie Belle cried. “You have the most beautiful mountain in the world and the music of Harmonizing Heights is wonderful! Mount Aris is the obvious choice.” “Not so fast, Sweetie,” Scootaloo protested. “Seaquestria is just as amazing and it has such a bunch of fantastic fish and animals too!” “But it’s got dark and gloomy caves and creepy creatures,” the unicorn filly objected. “Mount Aris is open and bright, and the hippogriffs can fly around as much as they like.” “Swimming is just as good as flying! I’ve never felt so free!” Scootaloo replied enthusiastically. “What do you think, Nyx?” The little alicorn nodded. “I liked Seaquestria a lot too, but Sweetie was right when she says Harmonizing Heights is amazing. I know you also liked that, Apple Bloom.” The earth pony filly said, “It’s gorgeous, but Ah got to feel what it’s like to fly like a pegasus while in Seaquestria.” “See, Sweetie?” Scootaloo asked. “Terramar staying with his mom is the better idea.” “No way! Terramar belongs with his dad and the hippogriffs.” Scootaloo scowled. “No! Seaquestria!” “Mount Aris!” retorted Sweetie. “Guys! You’re not helping at all!” Terramar interrupted. “How can I choose if you can’t even agree among yourselves?” I facehoofed. The girls were too focused on what they liked rather than what was best for him. They clearly weren’t thinking this through. However, the map table had assigned them to this problem and I couldn’t solve it for them. I looked over to where Ocean Flow and Sky Beak were still chatting amiably. Hmm. Maybe I could give them a hint though. “Terramar,” I said, catching the colt’s attention. “I know that Seaquestria was created as a safe haven for the hippogriffs and that’s how you avoided the conflict with the Storm King, but your parents obviously must have met before then. I find it unlikely that a seapony and a hippogriff found the opportunity for a relationship.” “Oh, yeah. Mom was a hippogriff back then but, after Seaquestria was created, she found that she preferred life in the water and moved there permanently. My sister and I were old enough by then that it didn’t matter that dad and mom lived in different places.” “And it seems they are still quite fond of each other.” I inclined my head towards the couple. “Uh-huh. Dad was surprised that mom wanted to stay a seapony but he’s an understanding guy. He and mom live the way they want to and are happy.” “Wait!” Apple Bloom said, a puzzled look on her face. “If they both love you and you love them, and they’re still in love despite their different lifestyles, why do you even need to make a choice?” I tried to hide a satisfied grin. Trust the ever-practical filly to make the logical leap. Nyx chimed in next. “Yeah. My mom’s a princess and so am I, but I get to hang out with you guys all the time. I’m not stuck in Canterlot Castle with the noble foals. I don’t have to go to Celestia’s School with them either.” Scootaloo shrugged. “If your parents think it’s okay for you to come and go between them as you like, what’s the problem?” Sweetie Belle said, “And I suppose Harmonizing Heights will always be there when you want it, so why choose between them?” “Because they’re together so few times!” Terramar groaned. Apple Bloom’s eyes widened. “Oh! Girls – I think we’ve been getting this all wrong. We’re not supposed to be helping Terramar choose between his parents. The Friendship Problem is getting the seapony and the hippogriff friends and families back together again!” “Oh!” the others chorused. “Well, we know what to do about that, don’t we, Crusaders?” Scootaloo said with the determined grin. The four clopped their hooves together. “Cutie Mark Crusader Family Togetherness Planners!” How they could spontaneously and unanimously come up with those titles, I’ll never know. I suppose that’s why I’ll only ever be an honorary Crusader. At least I did my bit to help point them in the right direction. “Terramar – we’ve got a job for your parents,” Apple Bloom said. Less than an hour later, the beach was filled with hippogriffs on the sand and seaponies in the waves. Several of each were on pontoons sharing the water and the sky. Some of them were changing back and forth between forms, especially the children. I watched from afar as Terramar conversed with his parents and noticed his joy as he splashed in the ocean as a seapony and then leaped back into the air as a hippogriff and then into the water again. He had worked things out to split time with both his parents and when the Crusaders’ cutie marks started flashing, I knew that they had accomplished their task. It was time for me to butt out and let them enjoy their success. “Crimson, I want you to keep an eye on the girls but otherwise allow them to have fun. I have an appointment to keep with Queen Novo. When this winds up, bring the Crusaders up to the castle. I’m sure there will be accommodations ready for them and you.” “What about Terramar?” the stallion asked. “I reckon he’ll be staying with one of his parents tonight. Just remind him that we’ll all be catching the train back to Equestria early tomorrow morning.” “Okay, will do, sir.” “Thanks.” I turned to Penny as Stratus Skyranger and I started heading to the castle. “Do you think there will be seafood at the banquet? I have a sudden craving for raw, marinated squid.” The batpony gave me a horrified look. I smirked. I was going to make her try it. The next morning as we made our way to the station, my attention was caught by some bellowing from a nearby ship at the dock. “That voice sounds awfully familiar,” I commented. “That would be Lord Rock Hoof, Your Highness,” Stratus told me. “Rock Hoof? What’s he doing here?” “The Pillar of Equestria has been seeking his place in this world, I am told. He’s currently trying a career with the Seaquestrian Navy.” “Oh? How’s he doing?” I heard the distinctive sound of wood shattering followed by a burst of very colorful swear words from the ship. “He’s… trying, sir. It’s an honor to have him join us. He has a lot of experience to share with Seaquestria.” “And not a few choice nautical curses too,” I said with a grin. Stratus sighed. “Actually, those are from the captain. She has been exercising her vocabulary quite a bit since her ship came into port.” I chuckled in sympathy. While I wished the best for the powerful earth pony, somehow I could not envision him as a sailor. Only time would tell, I suppose. I had more important things to worry about, such as Twilight trying to poach my advisor. The train pulled up at what I would have called a one-horse town if this was Earth and not a world occupied by sapient equines. The only reasons for this tiny community’s existence situated on the edges of the Bone Dry Desert were to provide water sourced from the local spring for the steam engine and as a train station to service the widely scattered ranches. However, unknown to the few ponies who lived in this rather remote region, it was also the main connection to the Southern Wastes Hive. No one, not even the Equestrian Crown, had known that the town had been built by changelings in the first place until after the war with the Storm King. A group of ponies was waiting in the shade of the station’s roof – two mares and two stallions. None of them looked out of place in their garb, but I would have been surprised if they had. Apicula assured me that these were Princess Diadem and her retinue. I directed the Royal Guards to escort them to my carriage and ordered the blinds to be drawn. When they were all aboard and the door closed, all four flared with magic fire, revealing a changeling princess, a burly guard, and two other drones. They all bowed to Apicula. “Greetings, sister,” Diadem said. “Welcome, sister,” Apicula replied, giving her a hug. Then the queen turned to me. “Prince Mark Wells, may I introduce Princess Diadem.” “A pleasure to meet you, Princess,” I said. “The pleasure is mine, Your Highness. I understand that I will get to work with you in the Royal Court.” “Yes, I promised your sister to give you the opportunity to learn how Equestria is governed and perhaps teach us a thing or two of your own realm.” “I hope so, Prince Mark Wells.” “The first thing you need to know is that, outside of business hours and in private times like these, I prefer informality. Just call me Mark, please.” Diadem shuffled on her hooves. “If you say so, sir.” Seems like that was the best that I could expect so soon. Time would tell if she would loosen up into someone that knew how to work with me properly. As for the others… “I’m guessing that this strapping fellow is your bodyguard, but who are these two other ’lings?” I asked. The drone on the left shifted form into a pale teal unicorn mare with a silvery mane and tail. As she dropped into a textbook-perfect curtsey, I realized I had seen this mare before. Apicula said, “Silver Dreams is our hive’s premier love gatherer. She will be rejoining Canterlot high society after… let’s see…” She looked up and pulled her lips to the side. The now unicorn mare supplied, “… after being called out of town to care for my poor, sick mother who thankfully is well on her way to recovery from a nasty case of Sleeping Sickness.” My smile was a bit forced. I recognized her now. She had been part of Lady Opulent Affair’s retinue when a group of nobles tried to exert their influence on Trixie after her Alicorn Challenge victory. “Silver Dreams, I am trying to normalize pony relations with all changeling hives as quickly as possible. I would strongly prefer that you retain your true form in Equestria.” The mare shook her head and her gentle smile did not change. “I’m afraid I must decline, Your Highness. Until my queen’s hive obtains a sufficient amount of love from alternate sources, we will be dependent upon love gatherers like myself performing our duties. Now that all the Storm King’s prisoners have been released, our survival is more dependent than ever upon a constant love supply. Also, I believe the Triarchy committed to not search out changelings throughout Equestria to minimize disruption to changelings as a whole. I hope that this privilege extends to our hive as well.” Well, damn. Put in place by my own orders. “Of course. I look forward to the day when such deception is no longer required.” Silver Dreams curtseyed again. “As do we all, Your Highness.” I brought my attention back to Apicula who nodded toward the drone on her right. “May I introduce Crispberry. He is the hive’s preeminent researcher that I mentioned earlier.” At the sound of his name, the gray-barreled drone with lime-green wings flicked an ear but did not raise his head from the book in front of his nose. After a brief pause, Apicula said, “Crispberry. Please say ‘hello’ to Prince Mark Wells.” Without changing his gaze, the drone’s hoof rose and moved back and forth fractionally. “Hi.” As he lowered his hoof again, I read the book title: Orthogonal Vectors and Their Analogs in Social Relationships. Yep. He’d get along with Twilight famously. Apicula frowned at the drone then sighed. “They… well… primarily Silver will be continuing her observations of Canterlot society. Crispberry will be available to give lectures on our hive’s magitek. They are both very interested in the School of Friendship and hope to exchange ideas there with Princess Twilight Sparkle.” “I’m sure that she will appreciate that. Right now though, we have a long journey ahead of us. I suggest that you all stow your baggage in your compartments and then make yourselves comfortable in the lounge. We can chat over food and refreshments then.” Diadem smiled. “That sounds good. And perhaps we can also discuss how to get some suitable mates for me and my sisters?” Sheesh! Do all royal changelings have one-track minds? # # # # # # # # #