To Sleep, Perchance to Dream Chapter 7
--Georg (Editing by AlicornPriest)
I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space,
Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth
Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;
Morn came and went—and came, and brought no day,
Darkness by George Gordon Byron
“We are not sure of this.” Princess Luna sat solidly as an anvil on her balcony window, looking down into the torchlit gardens as the very first Gala invitees began to filter in. Somehow Pumpernickel had been dragged into acting as a combination romance councilor and last-minute beautician, winding up sitting beside her on the dark balcony looking much more like a sleep-deprived liquid than a solid. He was unable to keep from looking at the majestic gown Laminia had created for the Princess without becoming ever more worried. In retrospect it had become quite evident, to him at least, that a dress with ripples of color where it sensed movement was most probably not the best choice for a nervous princess. Although Luna appeared calm and very regal on the moonlit balcony, every little twitch and nervous quiver showed up through the night in glorious technicolor, like a battle of fireflies.
“Relax please, My Princess. You look fine, the Gala is going well, and I have made arrangements for an escort as you requested. Nothing can go wrong.”
Luna turned on him so quickly her entire neck lit up. “Don’t say that!” She turned back to her aerial view of the party and fussed. “I should just take one of the guards for an escort. Nopony could object to that.”
Pumpernickel cleared his throat. “The Day Guard has a long-standing rule against attending the Gala as guests ever since—”
“We can change that. We’re a Princess, aren’t we? Besides, I don’t have to restrict myself to one of Celestia’s guards. It would be perfectly acceptable to take one of our Night Guard as a companion for the evening.”
“Oh, no! We are not well-received even among the common Canterlot ponies! Can you imagine if one of us were down there? All dragon-eyed and bat-winged in the middle of Canterlot royals? There would be a stampede at the very least.”
“Things change. We do not see why the glory of our creation would be a reason why you—” Luna caught Pumpernickel’s terrified look out of the corner of her eye and changed subjects. “Who did you select to receive the honor of my company at the Gala tonight?”
Pumpernickel relaxed. “Oh, that was easy. I just looked for somepony with impeccable bloodlines who is a relative of some sort. That should keep all the Canterlot non-nobility from spending the night jumping to stupid conclusions about you selecting a mate. The gossip will be thick after the event, so I’ve been told so there is no reason to add to it unnecessarily. If you had made your plans known earlier, the list might have been a bit longer, but really there was only one stallion that stood out in my judgement as a proper companion. Prince Blueblood.”
The temperature on the balcony seemed to drop twenty degrees. “Prince Blueblood?”
“Oh yes. He’s Princess Celestia’s nephew, so that puts him off limits for you for the mating scene, which should make for much less gossip. He’s tall, he’s handsome, he has a magnificent mane and good teeth—”
“Prince Blueblood?” Frost began forming on the balcony rail as Pumpernickel suddenly realized that ‘Prince Blueblood’ was starting to sound a lot like ‘with bunnies’.
“Um. Is there something wrong with my selection, My Princess?” asked the guardpony, in what could only be called a majestic understatement of epic proportion.
In the middle of the Royal Garden, Fancy Pants looked up in the cloudless sky with a concerned expression. “That is most certainly strange. I did not think there was a storm scheduled for this evening, but that was most definitely lightning.”
“...and has the rutting instinct of a pack of crazed hyenas.” Pumpernickel had assumed what he had begun to think of as The Position when Luna had begun her epic rant. She was being amazingly well controlled, remarked one tiny portion of his mind that was not busy trying to figure out how best to melt into the stone and vanish. The Royal Canterlot Voice had not emerged even once, but instead she used a low steel-like tone that was a lot like being verbally flayed in a bath of salt. She had even avoided profanity except to describe the ancestors of Blueblood and to imply none too subtly that his family tree did not fork.
For safety’s sake, he waited a few minutes after the tirade had completed before peeking out from under his hooves. And then a few minutes more to ask the now-silent Princess, “Shall I go inform the Prince that his services are no longer required?”
“No.”
“No?” asked Pumpernickel with his leathery wings half-unfurled, his hopes for an escape dashed, while remaining unaware just how close he had come to dying when he uttered the word ‘services’ in combination with Blueblood.
Luna threw her ethereal mane back and struck a regal pose gazing off into the stars, with only a few nervous twitches visible in her gown as bursts of light. “We shall endure the worst of torture for Our Equestria, bear the greatest burden, et cetera, et cetera. A night with Blueblood in the Royal Gardens will show society that I have regained my composure, and that I am fully ready to step back into the....whatever.” The multitude of flashes from the dress showed just how badly the Princess was lying.
“Right.” Pumpernickel was noticing something else about the Princess also, and it just itched to be said, but having his hoof resoundingly slapped so many times in the day made him—
“What is it? You’ve got that look again, the one you normally get right before you say something stupid. Out with it.”
He swallowed, and managed to ask “Did yelling at me make you feel better about your...sister?”
“Yes. No.” Luna looked off at her stars. “Yes. Yes I think it did.”
“So...would it help if I said something stupid again so you could yell at me more?” Getting nothing but cold silence in return, he shuffled his hooves.
“I-I don’t understand. You are angry at your sister because she is not angry at you, and only wants to forgive you and...I’m saying something stupid again, aren’t I?”
The blinking Aurora Borealis that surrounded Luna had almost died out, leaving her perfectly camouflaged in silhouette against her stars. “No. You are right. Maybe if she would shout at me, or scream...but we did so much of that before Nightmare Moon drove us apart. I want her to....I don’t know. I bear the guilt of my actions, and have no desire to release it.” She made a movement to wave a darkened hoof across the city. “The voice in my dreams did little but bring to the surface that which already clawed at my soul. All my errors, all my sins. I was the one who let the Nightmare into my heart, I let her build the resentment and hate against my sister. And when the Elements tore her away, transforming her back into me...there was a tiny portion of me that missed it. If I let myself become close to my sister again, if I released my hold on my guilt, would I eventually turn on her again the same way?”
Pumpernickel shook his head. “My Princess, you have compared yourself with your sister for a very long time; with hatred and resentment that created Nightmare Moon, and now with guilt and regret that are creating...somepony else. The Queen of the Night that we have been told of in Tradition is perhaps as much a myth as the image that Princess Celestia wishes you to fit into. You should not be concerned you do not fit into an existing mold any more, but should go forth and create your own self. Luna.”
“How can I do that when everything I do here feels like my sister? It’s her castle, they’re her servants, they serve her favorite foods, and when they refer to me at all it is ‘The Princess...and her sister.’ Everywhere I go here, everything I do, it always feels like I’m going to step in a big steaming pile of Tia.”
Pumpernickel snorted despite himself. “Perhaps if you ran off with Prince Blueblood. Raised a few foals.”
He got a snicker in return, and several lights rippled across the horizon, showing where Luna was silhouetted on the balcony. “Oh, truly my sister despises him greatly, for his flaws are without number. It would certainly curtail her efforts to chase after me. But no, that is...excessive. Although perhaps a little peck on his cheek if she happens to pass by in the garden.” The Princess had a really nasty chuckle, thought Pumpernickel. And it was good that she stopped it before it became an evil laugh.
* * *
“There he is.” The handsome white unicorn stallion with the blonde mane stood at the end of what was called the “Cricket Path”, a short stretch of cobblestoned walkway that ended in a small romantic bench surrounded by flowers and normally a number of very vocal crickets. From the lack of noise, the crickets seemed to have taken the night off, and Pumpernickel suspected some of Luna’s Royal Cheating was involved. Fortunately Prince Blueblood did not seem to notice the two dark figures flying above him in small circles, but continued practicing his dazzling smile and deciding which hoof to rest on the bench to look his best to anypony coming down the path.
“Shh. He’ll hear you,” whispered Luna as she and Pumpernickel flew in tight formation in a silent spiral down towards the bench.
“I don’t understand why you don’t just land in the middle of the walkway there and walk up to him.”
“Style.”
“You mean you want to scare the bejeebers out of him, right? I wouldn't use that tongue thing on him. Ponies will hear the scream for miles.”
“Maybe.” Luna’s dress gave little flickers of light in the pitch darkness as the two of them circled one more time and landed silently in the stone overhang above the bench where the Royal Prince was waiting for the Princess. And as it turns out, he was not waiting alone.
“Shhh.”
“No, you shh.”
“I said shhh first!”
“You made more noise than I did.”
Blueblood looked back into the bushes behind the bench and whispered, “Will you two fillies shush. I mean, really. Could you be any more annoying? She’s going to be here soon.”
“Oh, but Blueblood,” said the first female voice in a dark and sultry tone. “We wanted you all to ourselves tonight. Now we have to share with her.” Pumpernickel tried not to twitch at the utter contempt put into that last word, and looked nervously at a patch of dress on Luna’s flank that started to flash in synchronization with her heartbeat.
“Oh, I heard she’s not even the Princess’ real sister,” whispered the soft and passionate voice of the other hidden mare. “Just some poor farm pony Celestia dresses up and prances around. You can tell by that frightened bunny rabbit look she gets when any real nobility is in the area.”
flash...flash...flash...
“Oh, I’ve heard she’s some sort of shape-changing pony who has the Princess in a mind-controlling spell, so she can steal her magic.”
flash.flash.flash.flash
“Oh, I know. She’s really a ghost that was killed by Nightmare Moon, and Celly is leaving around the castle so she can reminisce about her long-dead sister. I mean, you’ve never seen her eat, right and she’s always in the shadows? That’s why she brought the Elements of Harmony, so they can zap her and turn her into a real live pony.”
flashflashflashflash
“Oh ladies,” sighed Blueblood. “You are both so wrong.”
flash...flash...flash
“She really is Aunt Celly’s sister, but all that time in the moon drove her looney. She’s just a vegetable waiting for some dip. I’ll take her for a stroll through the garden, walk past a few of the nobles so they can see how she isn’t drooling, keep her from eating the flowers off old wrinkled grey mares’ hats, and turn her back over to her keepers so they can feed her and put her to bed. And then I’ll be back for you two lovely— What was that noise? Was it a bat? I hate bats, they get in my mane! Shoo! Shoo!”
The blinking patch of darkness that betrayed Luna’s location had vanished from Pumpernickel’s sight, but he caught a glimpse of it shooting straight up, and a drop of salty water fell in his face as he watched. Darn, he thought. And she was doing so well.
A sudden demonic urge came over him and he gave a grim smile of revenge in the darkness. He never would have done this a week ago, and if he thought about it any longer he probably was not going to do it now. Heck, he never would have done this as a mischievous colt either, but after this week he was probably going to wind up counting penguins anyway, so what the hay. He gripped the upper part of the flower trellis with his rear hooves and leaned out while extending his wings, winding upside down to Prince Blueblood with his mouth not more than a foot from the Prince’s face.
“Good Evening,” said Pumpernickel in a low voice, making sure to show his shiny razor-sharp teeth. Ah, this was the best part of the program. A Short Vocal Symphony for Three Voices, entitled ‘Startled Scream of Terror’, starring Prince Blueblood and an anonymous two mare duet. The mares bolted off into the distance without regard to openings in the hedges (of which there were now a few more) while Blueblood remained frozen in terror and hardly breathing. The dark winged monstrosity hanging upside down in front of him looked at him with glowing golden eyes and gave a toothy smile.
“Princess Luna regrets to inform you that she will be unable to attend the Gala due to official duties. Thank you, Prince Blueblood, for your care and attention to the Royal House.” He pushed off with his hind hooves for a half-flip, and flapped up into the night air, deeply appreciative of being able to still fly while trying so hard not to laugh, and grateful that he did not finish off the prank with a face-plant right in the middle of the garden walkway.
* * *
“Please, Princess Luna. It was only Blueblood. You said even your sister finds him contemptible.” Pumpernickel found himself in the uncomfortable position of standing in the Princess’s darkened bedchamber, talking to a semi-mobile lump of coverings in the Royal Bed, not sure if he was talking to the front or the back end of the Princess.
“Your Highness, a number of the high society ponies go for a walk out into the gardens during the event to get a bit of air during the Gala. Perhaps you could just stand near the ballroom door and greet them as they pass.”
“There will be Guards there, correct?”
“Well, of course. It is a security checkpoint so there is always a Guard at the—”
“No!”
“But you’re all dressed up already! How about just standing somewhere else and nodding mysteriously at guests as they pass, you wouldn’t even have to—” A whole galaxy of stars seemed to strike Pumpernickel in the face, knocking him back on his hooves as the fluorescing dress fell to the floor in a cascade of Aurora Borealis. “Ow.”
“Do you still want me to come out of this bed and go to the Gala?” Pumpernickel took a panicked look at the accoutrement rack where her tunic was displayed.
“Um. You’re not wearing—”
“Nothing! I’m stark naked! Not even....oh wait. There were five jingling noises as shoes and a tiara came popping out from under the covers and landed on the floor. “Ok, now I’m naked. You still want me out there?”
There was a very long pause before Pumpernickel dared to make a sound. “Let me just hang these clothes back up so they don’t get wrinkled. And put your accoutrements away. And... I’m sorry, Princess, for trying to force you to go back to the Gala.”
There was a snuffling noise from under the covers. “You have our forgiveness for your impertinent acts. We understand you only wish our best.” She remained quiet for a while, and Pumpernickel was just about to try slipping back out to the balcony when she suddenly asked, “What happened to Blueblood? I heard a scream as I was leaving. Several of them in fact.”
He sighed and related the story to the delight of Princess Luna, who could not quit giggling. “You should have licked his ear.”
“Oh! By the stars, no! What if he liked it?”
Even more giggles and snorts emerged from under the covers. “We are a bad influence on you, are we not?”
He sighed. “We live to serve you, Your Highness.”
The giggling stopped abruptly. “Yes, and that is the problem.” Luna peeked out from under the covers, her turquoise eyes shimmering in the moonlight that shone through the open balcony.
“Every time I look at your kind, I remember what Nightmare Moon did to me. What she did to everypony, and it makes me feel guilty, and angry at Tia, and the whole cycle starts over again. I feel as if I just need to go...somewhere, I don’t know where. Somewhere I can be...myself for a few days. And I don’t want anypony from Canterlot going with me.”
“If it would assist with your recovery, Your Highness, I’m certain the Day Guard would be willing to take over your protection detail instead. I could understand why you would not want any of the Night Pegasi to remind you—”
“No!” The Princess of the Night’s eyes flashed and her brows narrowed. “You and your families are my creations, and I will not have you hidden away from the world as some defective clay pot. Nightmare Moon may have given me the power, but the desire and the idea were mine and mine alone. You and your kin have served the Royal Throne loyally for generations despite the conditions of your creation. To cast you aside simply because of my frailty is...not worthy of us. I am as proud of who you are as I am ashamed of what I attempted to make of you. You should be proud, even if all in the city despise you.”
“Well, not everypony,” he mumbled with a smile, casting a thoughtful glance out the open window.
tap - tap - tap - tap - tap Pumpernickel’s eyes tracked back to where the Princess was holding him in her baleful gaze while tapping one hoof on the bedroom floor. “What was that, my trusted and loyal Royal Guard?”
“Oh. Um. Well.” He blushed furiously and tried unsuccessfully to look away from Luna. “It’s not really despise, more like...politely tolerate. Plus some of the older guards have been telling me stories. Um. Probably not safe for Princess’ ears.”
tap - tap - tap - tap “Continue.”
“Well. They say. Um. There are some ponies who like...to date...” He swallowed nervously. “Bad ponies.”
A faint electric charge seemed to build in the room as Luna continued to stare. “They think my creations are...bad?”
“Naughty? Exotic? Some mares really do like the...wings. And the eyes. Some of them are just weird, but some are...nice.” Pumpernickel tore his gaze away before he blushed himself to death, only to hear the Princess snicker.
“Oh! Oh my. That’s not...quite what I had in mind.” The Princess covered her mouth with one hoof to hide her smile. “I had no intention of creating a...Royal Bordello. But it explains why my creations are still around after a thousand years. How— I mean...How many are left?”
“Families? A few dozen in Canterlot, plus some in most of the larger cities, mostly working with the various city guards for night patrol. A few hundred across Equestria.”
“I shall have to look them up when I leave.” Luna looked out the open window where the sounds of the Gala filtered in. “Not now. We do not wish to disturb our sister with my departure in this hour of her revelry. But soon.”
Luna sighed and retreated under the covers again. “Oh well. Pumpernickel, come here. Right there. There. No, there! And give me your hoof.” The Princess of the Night wrapped herself around his hoof and curled up. “Ahh, that is much better.”
“You know, if you like that hoof so much, I could have my mother make you a stuffed one. Please?”
“Nope.” She snuggled down in her bed, his hoof firmly held. “We can think of no more ghastly thought than to awaken to find myself clinging to some disembodied limb.”
“How about a...stuffed animal of some sort? She makes one for every new Night Pegasus that is adopted in this city.”
“So what did you have?”
“Um. Well. Um. I’d rather not say.”
“What if I order you to?” Luna’s voice was soft and sleepy.
“Please don’t.”
“But I want to know. I promise I won’t tell.”
“....”
“What?” Luna’s eyes snapped opened and she looked at Pumpernickel, who had slumped down to the floor into The Position. “You had a doll of my sister? You slept with Celestia? Oh, this is....” The Royal Princess giggled and almost let go of Pumpernickel’s hoof. “This is just so...Oooo, and I promised I wouldn’t tell. Can I tell just one pony?”
“No.”
“Just one? Please?”
“No!”
“Do you still sleep with her?”
“No!!”
The Princess settled back down into bed with her unwilling captive limb, little bursts of giggles breaking out sporadically. Just before she began snoring, she murmured, “You know, this makes you the first pony in over a thousand years to sleep with both Royal Princesses.” And then she giggled right into a snore, not even waking when the cry of “YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE ME” echoed through the Royal Gardens, indicating the premature end of the Gala for this year.
* * *
The night seemed filled with feathers, all hues and colors, large and small that floated by Pumpernickel’s face. One landed on the nape of his neck, tickling and tickling until he rolled over and looked up into the face of Princess Luna. To his credit, and also probably crediting a significant lack of adrenaline, he did little more than look up blearily and ask, “Now what. I mean now what, My Princess?”
“I’m leaving now.”
“Wha?” Pumpernickel stumbled to his hooves and looked out the window. From the angle of the moon, it was only an hour or so before dawn, and the sounds of activity out in the garden had all but ceased. The Princess was standing by the balcony fully dressed in her full Royal Accoutrements, which suspiciously bulged in front as if quite a number of bits were stuffed in the tunic.
“I don’t suppose I can talk you out of this? I mean, it was my idea at one time, that must mean something horrible will happen.” A sliver of self-preservation from his Guard training kicked in suddenly. “You are taking a bodyguard, correct?”
The Princess nodded. “I have made arrangements with a veteran Royal Courier. We are to meet at the Southside Road in a few minutes, and I will be traveling in disguise.” Her horn glowed, and her appearance slowly changed to match Pumpernickel. It felt itchy and strange to be looking at himself without a mirror.
“Will you be able to sleep... I mean I could go get you my Celestia doll if that would....no, you’re trying to get away from her.” He looked at the floor of the bedchambers in resignation. “How long do I wait before telling Princess Celestia?”
“Give us an hour. We will send word to my sister as we travel so that we do not unduly raise her concerns over our well-being.” She paused to look out the window at the long shadows created by the waning moon and continued more slowly. “We do not know how long it will take until we are ready to accept our sister’s forgiveness. We have not yet left, and already...I miss her. “
Pumpernickel promptly filed that under ‘Weird things mares do - Missing somebody before they even leave. Subcategory: Royalty’ He straightened, and bowed formally to Princess Luna.
“Fly well, My Princess. And return soon.”
Luna nodded in return, which still felt a little weird for Pumpernickel to see himself in this way. “I shall. Oh, and one thing.” The disguised Luna gave him a predatory grin. “Don’t tell Tia about the doll. I want to see her face when I tell her myself, and someday you’ll give us permission.” She gave a youthful giggle as she flung herself out the balcony, swooping down into the deserted gardens before rising up into the night sky on strong wings.
“Goodbye, My Princess. Hurry back.” He turned to the bedroom, and began to tidy up. It was at least something to do until he had the most difficult task of his short and soon to be ended career: informing Princess Celestia of her sister’s departure an hour after the fact.
“And no way am I ever going to let you tell anypony that I used to sleep with a Celestia doll. Ever!”
Out in the corridor, Princess Celestia smiled and nodded, then returned to her own bedchambers to await the dawn.
To be Concluded: Epilogue: Luna’s Children