//------------------------------// // VI - Just Enough Love // Story: Not Enough Love // by B_25 //------------------------------// ~ VI ~ Just Enough Love I stood in the streets and, although the rain stopped, it didn't feel like it. “Now that's a mare able to make a mountain out of a molehill.” The voice floated from my left, but I was too gone to look down, gazing up into the night sky. Space swallowed me. Only a vessel left on those streets. “And it appears my plan worked after all. Now you don't have to pick!” I blinked without moving my head. “Plan?” “Well... this mare might have played dirty to win your affection.” Starlight brushed against my side. The softness of her fur and the warmth of her coat... they were lost to me. “Saw your little date with Twilight. Thought for a moment I'd lost for good.” I blinked. This time, however, differently. “I saw you crying.” “That you did. Don't you love how much I went through to win you over?” Her voice seemed sweet in a horrible way. I'd never felt so repulsed in my life. “One last little game for you and I to play. Now with Twilight out of the way, we can be together!” I head fell left but kept upright, my eyes sliding to Starlight, tired malice about me. “So... all of this was one of your schemes?” “O-Only because I didn't want to lose you!” Starlight cried, but took a step away, feeling the hate pulsating from me. I couldn't will myself to care for her growing look of terror. Her desperate need for comfort. “You'd just left me for her! What else was I supposed to do? I wasn't just going to give up!” “So, you concocted all that?” I spoke with subtle venom. “Before I'd even talk to you? Not even a chance to work it out? Even... even after I said... that the only thing I loved more than your games... was you?” “A-After you k-kissed her—what was I supposed to do? Believe you truly loved me that deeply after what you did with her? Were you not coming to end things then and there?” I shook my head. “No. I wouldn't have done you like that.” “How could you be so sure what you would have done!” “I'm not sure what I would have done,” I said as my eyes lifted back to the sky. The last iota of hope within my soul was gone. Nothing but a husk, a dead dragon walking, was what remained of me. “But I know what I wouldn't have done. Something like that isn't it. If I... if I became so sick with myself after seeing you... crying or fake crying... if I went through so much turmoil in not wanting to hurt you... how... how could you ever think I'd leave you like that.” Starlight was silent. I doubted my words phased through the dense barrier she'd risen—but I couldn't care anymore. Only a ghost was here now. Speaking for the dragon that was here before. Experiencing these last few seconds of life before fading. “Then you can be with me now!” Starlight said in a desperate voice, the kind that laughed after every other word, exposing how close they were to being screams. What little soul lingered pained for her hurt. But I couldn't will myself to do a thing. “Twilight's gone. It doesn't matter where we go. So long as we can be together.” “We'll never be together.” I shook my head. “Don't you get it? My greatest fear in all the world was being sent away from her.” Slowly I stopped. “Of becoming useless. Not wanted around anymore. All of this... I... can't take it anymore.” Tears came from my eyes once more but, unlike before, they didn't burn. “So I'm gone. Done tomorrow.” I looked down at Starlight for the last time. Her eyes shined and reflected the wobbly world around her. Everything compelled me to hug the tearful mare, caresses the back of her head and soothe her woes away. But I couldn't will myself to do it. “I wish you well, Starlight, but I'm done with ponies. If I can't even get love right here... then maybe I don't belong after all.” I cast my gaze away to the distance, tracks sprawling out to distant lands, the fields becoming untamed the further it went across. “Greedy dragons should live with greedy dragons. You and Twilight are fantastic mares. The right stallion will show up eventually.” I heard a voice come through her sob. “And what if the right stallion left me too?” “Then you were a fool to expect anything more from a dragon.” And then I went on my way. Rarity had let me stay at her place. She heard my story once more but, this time, seeing from my expression... she knew her words became powerless. Of course, she told me Twilight would come around. That Starlight was only foul because of a horrible time once before. But all that understanding I once had. I didn't care for it anymore. The next day came, and when it did, I slept through the morning. Rarity continued work despite the dragon passed out on her couch. But the growing hum of her sewing machine drove my eyelids apart over time. Despite the bonus sleep, I didn't feel any more awake. It took an hour of enduring the white mare's pleas for me to be with her for at least a few days. I'd kept one more. But knew nothing would change after two. Here was the mare of my dreams allowing me to stay at her home for an extended period of time... and I was turning her down. How we slowly change. But then came the evening where I found myself standing on the platform, waiting for the Canterlot train, thinking of how it would take me east. As far that way as it could. It'd take another day to reach the Badlands. From there, I'd be free. Rarity knew I would write. Soon the rest of the girls would get some letters explaining everything. But I could hardly think that far ahead. For now, I needed to be gone, from here and myself, no more guessing or feeling, only working and moving. It was the best kind of life a dragon like me could ask for. “Don't suppose you're taking the same train as me?” The voice floated from behind, softly. Like fragile glass attempting to speak. “The one going home?” “Home? Don't think I have a place like that.” I shook my head. The drop to the tracks filled my gaze, the metal bars atop wood, spreading off into the distance. “At least, not anymore.” “You really think Twilight is going to kick you out like that? For good?” “Even if she doesn't... I don't want to be there in either case.” Starlight appeared to the side of me, but, this time, she didn't press her body against mine. Her perfect form a few feet away. Even now I still wanted to be with it. Hold it against my chest, her softness weighing down all around me, the perfect feeling, the perfect sensation of being close with another. “Spike... before you go, there's something I have to say.” She looked forward as well, staring at the face of the cliff in the distance. Both of us were lost to the splendour. Trying to escape our current bodies. “You don't have to say anything. Don't listen if you don't want to. But please let me speak.” I didn't say or do anything; she could do whatever she liked with that. “I'm... sorry for what I did.” Starlight breathed out hard. “All those little games we played. Some of them were fun; some of them were for real. But all of them were done... simply because I wanted to be with you.” She swallowed. “You're the first real guy I've been around in my life. Besides Sunburst. And... you already know what happened with that.” I breathed out as well. “Having your best friend leave you for good... I know the feeling.” “How empty it makes you feel? I know, but I never felt that way around you.” Starlight cleared her throat, failing once but succeeding on the second try. It was cute in a fragile way. My heart tore upon hearing its sound. “You were always there for me even when all I did was play games. All the pettiness you went through... just to make sure I wasn't alone.” Finally, she turned to me, gazing up at the side of my face. “You're a good guy, Spike. Much more than you could ever realize. Life always seems more full with you around. And from your cute frills to sharp little muzzle... I've always truly loved you.” Starlight's eyes dropped to the ground. “But the last stallion I felt that way for, well, I wasn't good enough for. Ponies didn't seem to like me for me. I always needed to play something, anything, to keep others around.” She fiddled with her hooves. “Except for you. You were okay no matter what I was. Playing games with you was always a choice rather than a condition. But I was too scared of getting hurt to see it that way.” She then laughed at herself. “Hard to trust in something too good to be true... and because that, because I didn't believe in you, everything did turn out that way in the end.” Her foreleg raised and fell onto her snout, genuine laughter filled with substantial pain. “What a silly mare I've been all this time.” I closed my eyes, tucked my lips inward, and allowed myself to be. “You're not the one at fault here, Starlight. Everyone messed up along the way.” I opened my eyes. “Makes sense since we've never done this before.” I laughed as well. “I guess we all have to be inexperienced at something.” “Spike... I know we can't go back to what we were.” Starlight stepped to my side, only a foot away. She kept that way. “But do you think we can still be friends? Twilight and the rest of the girls... I love them like sisters. Though if I lost you, then I'm not sure what I'd do.” I turned my head, not knowing it, but feeling my lips pull into a smile. “We never stopped being friends, even if it felt that way. But I'm off to the Badlands—“ “I know,” Starlight said. It only took a second to realize how. I didn't bother to give a fuss. It didn't matter anymore. “But I would much rather follow you into the land of dragons than to live peacefully back in Ponyville. Not that I don't love it here, but... I love you a little more.” I smiled even harder, loving and hating it, something just so perfect about it all. “Love me a little more? Now isn't that funny.” Starlight didn't follow after my joke. “And what about you? When you said you loved us both equally?” “I was telling the truth.” That fact fueled my continued smile. “I loved the both of you for different reasons. I could never think of one better than the other. The loves were just different. True and genuine and overflowing. Just different directions.” Starlight laughed no doubt at my wording—but the blush on her cheeks showed she must have been touched by something. “Just so full of love, aren't you? Seeing why everypony else is so perfect.” “But leaving little for myself? It's less-deserved.” “That's what you think.” Starlight dared a step closer, the brush of her coat against my scales, but not pressing hardly about it. Touching but not pressing. The kind of connection I've always wanted with her. “And that's why you need a nice mare to love you back. Make sure you don't dry out underneath those polished scales.” “Once upon a time, maybe.” “Hmm.” Starlight's body warmed while a droplet of sweat raced across her face. Her blush crossed over her snout. Those eyes flicking around. “S-Spike? I know after everything you've been through... you've given up on everything.” I exhaled. Even I knew I wasn't speaking the truth when I'd said that. “Something like that.” “Do you think you could indulge this mare just this once?” Starlight gazed up at me with glossy eyes, doing her best to smile. An incredible weight was on her shoulder, emotional turmoil my acts tacked on. She bore through it all to look up to me. “A final scheme to try and make everything right?” “This a good kind of scheme?” “Even if it's not... it's my final one.” She smiled with quivering lips. “Please?” I sighed. Distance cracks of a pipe roared in the distance. The train was coming, the one I planned on riding no matter what—but where I got off would be the ultimate question. Lowering to my knee, I came face to face with Starlight, her breath on my snout. “I can't give you an answer now. But I can promise to think about it.” “That's all I needed to hear.” Starlight nodded with the drop allowing her to come back up with lost confidence. Our snouts brushed together, then keeping that way, spreading warmth across them from within. “Go back home one final time. The last plan will be there.” And before either of us could think better of it—she leaned in. Starlight's eyes went close as passion stole her body. The first slow, genuine movement I'd seen of her. Her lips pressed against mine. Softness mounting upon them. In her kiss, her strands of fur brushed my scales, drawing me to kiss back. My arm dropped around her neck to keep her close, to have her touched, ensuring our closeness. Subtle warmth blossomed from lips as I sought to claim more of them. Their delicious flavour and delicate form urging me to collect them more and more. “Mmhmmm...” Starlight drew back from the kiss with a little giggle. “That settles it then, Spikey. You truly weren't lying after all.” She covered her face with a hoof, keeping only inches away. “An inexperienced kisser can't do something like that twice. Unless you truly loved the mare on the other side.” I was still speechless. “But... it's time for me to let you go now.” The tip of Starlight's horn glowed as her eyes closed once more. She smiled. Widely and proudly. The first time I'd seen her genuinely elated in a while. And without a doubt—I'd felt the same way as well. “I'll always be there for you, Spike. No matter what you may do.” And in the seconds before a flash consumed me, Starlight decided to be selfish one last time—selfish to have more of me around. “But please... come home to us, Spike.” Even though she sizzled out of existence in those next few seconds, I kept there, down on my knee, wondering if wanting someone else around made you selfish at all. The train ride was long despite the short distance. Even longer was the walk through Ponyville. It was night when I arrived without a store open. So much for killing time before the climax. I didn't want to go home too quickly. A part of me didn't want to go home at all. I suppose that was something to be thankful for. Even as I came to a pause before the towering castle of crystal, I breathed in deeply, feeling as if I'd been gone for a year. What had once been normal became new again. At least there was a weight to the place. I laughed. How'd did a dragon like me go from lonely, passing days to being surrounded by two lovely mares, unable to count how much had now been stuffed within twenty-four hours. But as I laid my claw on the door—my forehead did the same. I closed my eyes. This was it. The fate of everything was behind these doors. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen. My stomach swore with the beatings of my heart. I'd rather be on the end of a sword than to face what came next. But I pushed open the door anyway. And the castle had been empty. The lights were off, and there were zero signs of life. Closing the door behind me, it took a second for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, not seeing anything being used. Was I alone? No, Starlight wouldn't lie. She had to be here at the very least. “Or maybe I'll escape dealing with this for another day.” I came to the end of the hall and placed my claw on the handle to my door. I pulled it back to see the lights left on from the other side. That, and two mares standing at the foot of my bed, waiting for me. “Or maybe that's not the case at all.” I blinked as I stopped in the archway, slowly darting my gaze between the two, not sure what to say. My heart thumped in my best while my mouth dried. It was hard to speak. The two only looked at me, hopefully. “W-What is this?” “My last con.” Starlight stepped forward with a trace of a smile. “Didn't feel right to end them on a bad note.” She glanced over at Twilight, who, still wearing her crown, stood slumped in place. We made eye contact for a second—before we both turned to look away. Starlight must have noticed something, for she laughed when we shyly kept that way. “Though I wouldn't quite call Twilight a victim in her. Getting through her guards was easily enough. Easier than getting through to her at least.” When I turned my head back—she was shaking hers. “But I think I'd better leave this to you two.” I looked to Twilight, and she did the same to me. Our faces blushed and are eyes struggled to keep on the other. Her gaze quickened my heart. I was worried about spilling my guts. What was I supposed to do? “Spike... I'm... sorry for everything that happened.” Twilight exhaled sharply. “I am so, so so sorry I sent you away like that. I swore to never do something like that to you but, w-when everything was happening... I.... I...” “You were in so much pain when I left you,” the words left my mouth before I thought them through, “that you wanted me to feel the same? D-Don't worry about it. Had our roles been reversed... I might have done the same.” Twilight shook her head with intensity. “I'm still sorry even after that. Even if I wanted you to feel what I did... I should have been better than that. You're my best friend, Spike.” Her head stilled, eyes settling up on me. “And that's something I can't lose, ever. I wasn't lying to you that night.” I lowered onto my knee. “And neither did I, Twilight.” Twilight smiled with a laugh. She charged at me at once, barrelling into my chest with wide forelegs, crossing them over my shoulders and against my back. I hugged her back. Holding her close, pressing my face against the side of her neck, I felt my soul, my life, filling the space beneath my scales. “I love you, Twilight.” I caressed the back of her head, stroking the streaks of mane collected between my digits. The sensation I relished the most. “Even if it can't be that way. I love you, Twilight. Forever and always.” “You too, Spike,” tears choked Twilight's voice. “I love you more than you will ever know.” We would have fallen in that moment longer, that was if it weren't for the clopping of hooves next to us. Our heads slowly raised out from the embrace, quickly missing resting upon the other. Twilight's thick body draped over mine, a kind of blanket I'd missed. “Now if this isn't a cute sight?” Both of us kept inches apart, loving our closeness once more, but drawn to look to our side. Starlight stood there, looking amused. Some of her old character fading back in. “Best friends together again. Not going to lie. There's something cute about you two that I can't deny.” Her next step toward us was slow and deliberate. “But let us not forget the reason why we're all here.” I backed away from Twilight. Returning to my feet, I stepped back, shaking my head. “I already told you girls that I can't choose. And I won't. No matter what happens.” I glanced at hem both. “I'm sorry. But it has to be that way. Doing anything else would hurt more than it does now.” “...except... for once option.” I was surprised to find Twilight had said that. “How... do you mean?” “W-Well, if I'm not mistaken... you said that you loved us both equally, right?” Twilight glanced over at the other mare, each of them sharing a lock. Fires rose between them, but as the seconds passed, the flame diminished. The two nodded in a strange agreement. “I-I suppose if that were true... if you really did love us both the same... then maybe...” “Then maybe we wouldn't mind sharing you between us,” Starlight added in. “Obviously there's more than enough of you to go around. And you do more than enough to make me feel loved before we were even dating. In a way, we're only going to get more, right?” I blinked. This wasn't leading to where I thought it was, right? But Twilight gazing down told me everything. Her hot blush wasn't there without reason. I “Getting the best of both worlds, aren't you?” Starlight continued upon coming to Twilight's side, throwing a foreleg over her shoulders. Hugging her side, her muzzle went and lifted her chin. “Twilight here is thick and pudgy and romantic; I'm firm and taut and sexy.” Starlight licked her lips. “And you're everything both of us would ever need.” I blinked. “I'm... not sure what to say.” “D-Don't... think... it'll be that easy.” Twilight lifted her eyes from beneath the veil of her mane, barely able to look at me. The same was true in reverse. Everything had been so strange as of late. “I know everything you said that night was true. And I also know you love Starlight like how you love me. But... I need proof.” She stepped forward and out from Starlight's hold. “Something I can latch onto for sure.” Starlight winked at me. “And I'm sure you know the kind of proof we're asking for, don't you, Spike?” I understood. It was hard to enact on such a thing—but it had to be done. Stepping toward the mares, I dropped onto a knew, my face drawing close to theirs. I'd never expected to be so intimate with a mare. Much less two at the same time. Something felt wrong about it. And something so right that felt far too good for a dragon like me. Without another prompt, I leaned in close, placing a claw on each of their cheeks, taking Twilight's lips against my own. Plush and broad giving me something more to fight upon. I lost myself within seconds. Our kiss filling me, filling her, causing us to moan. When we broke away, a bridge of saliva connecting us both, we panted harder than we should of. Both of us were still so inexperienced. But we craved the embrace we at the cost of slight shame. But in gazing into her turned away eyes, in which only their corners captured me... the same love of the night sparked through once more. I truly loved this mare. Then a hoof came and turned my face, right into the lips slender and small, making it easier to claim them. Where the previous ones were passive, these were more active, working against me, making me work against it, losing ourselves to the battle of passion where both sides always won. And when we broke away, it was to her giggling, my chuckling, and the growing heat of our bodies. The entire room was getting hot. Starlight's scent strong in my snout. Driving my nose to be buried into her neck. I truly loved this mare. “Looks like we have an answer to our problem, don't we, Twilight?” Starlight said. “I suppose we do,” Twilight replied with a smile. “But... there is one last thing all three have to do,” Starlight continued. I leaned my head back to gaze at them both, well aware of my luck, having the two greatest mares before me, wanting to be with me. Two lovely creatures accepting of my overflowing love—something that repressed me for the majority of my life. “What's the matter?” I said with a nervous cough. “Did I do something wrong?” “No,” Twilight said before she blinked. Something caused her eyes to exploded as she looked down—but not at the ground. The blush on her snout reached underneath her eyes. “B-But I suppose it's something we did right?” The tension in my stomach released. Only it did so through my crotch, a sensation I wasn't sure was really there. Starlight was already looking down as well. Both mares looking at the same place in my body. “So we managed to get them both up, huh?” Starlight said with a giggle as Twilight then joined her. Both mares looking at my pride and joy, two things I'd never shown anyone else, much less expecting to use them so soon. “You know, I was jealous of Twilight stealing your first kiss.” Twilight then laughed. “B-But this way... it looks like we can share his first time.” I sighed and glanced at the bed in fear. I supposed I was able to share them in equal love after all.