If You Can't Say Something Nice...

by Devious Dazzle

Don't Say Anything At All.

“So you want a cookie?” Marble Pie spoke in a polite playful little voice.

The grey filly had somehow climbed atop the kitchen counter through pure determination. Her tail swaying excitedly side to side, both tiny hooves wrapped firmly around an oversized pink cookie jar.

Her oldest sister Limestone looked upward in pure awe. Nopony had ever gotten up that high and better yet she found the cookies. The possibilities of what they both could achieve were now absolutely endless, Limestone secretly jealous of how brave her little sister was.

“Um, ye...yes?” Limestone stammered nervously, she was always a bit shy.

“Just remember you're my favorite sister!” Marble held a buttery chocolate chip cookie in her hoof, extending the treat downward for her sister to enjoy.

Limestone blushed a bright pink as she lifted up on her hind legs. Tiny hooves reaching for the heavens in a feeble attempt at tasting victory. Though before she could grasp the lovely treat it was yanked away, the filly toppling over on the floor with a loud thud.

“Heehee, dummy!” Marble stuffed the whole cookie in her mouth deviously.

Limestone let a tiny meep escape her lips in complete shock. “But...I... favorite…”

“Om-nom-nom! You want a cookie then take it dummy head!” Marble scrunched her muzzle chomping down on cookie after cookie, the crumbs spraying over Limestone traumatically.

“But being polite?” The lid of the jar popped Limestone across the head hard, leaving a burning sting behind.

“Limey, Limey so weak and whiny!” Marble giggled triumphantly before blowing her sister a large raspberry.

Watching her sister run out of the kitchen in tears was beyond hilarious. Marble grinned licking the savory butter taste off her hoof, with a loud burp and her tummy full of cookies she pounced off the counter. The filly galloping happily into the cozy living room with a look of mischief.

Her sister Maud was looking over a few books from the school library in curiosity. She had reached the honor roll in school recently, their parents nudging her to take an extra credit class after school.

Marble came to a soft canter in front of the blazing orange fireplace. Both hooves lifted towards the flames to get nice and toasty, ideas on how to torture Limestone later flowing through her little mind.

“Marble, I'm thinking of taking Drama as my extracurricular activity.” Maud pushed the large meaty books away from her in uncertainty.

“Drama?” Marble spun around in faux excitement, both hooves placed atop her cheeks sarcastically.

“Mm-hmm. I'm not sure, but I think practicing comedy might be fun.” Maud slowly tried to flash the weakest of smiles to her little sister.

“Nah! Comedy is dumb, I think you're so smart when talking about…” Marble darted her eyes around the room frantically, spotting her father out in the fields breaking stones.

“Rocks.” Marble snickered behind a tiny hoof.

“Rocks? Are you sure that's not too boring?” Maud tilted her head to the side in utmost surprise.

“Nope! You always keep my attention…” Marble struggled to hold back giggles.

“I can give it a good old fashioned try.” Maud chirped in a happy melodic tune.

“Nice, but you should practice trying to be a bit more professional.” Marble flaunted her tiny grey hoof to her confused sister femininely.

“Oh, you're right.” She smiled with a giggle.

“Nuh-uh! Tone it back.” Marble shook her head.

Her older sister quickly stopped giggling.

“Like this!?” Maud spoke excitedly still smiling.

“Nope!” Marble rolled her eyes.

Maud let her smile fade away before gaining a stone-faced expression across her muzzle. “Now?” Her voice was still too full of laughter from the world around her.

“You sound way too excited.” Marble pursed her lips, shaking her head side to side.

“Oh, I see.” Her voice slipped into a monotone fashion.

“Perfect!” Marble lunged forward to wrap her sister in a hug, kicking a nearby Comedy Camp pamphlet into the roaring fire behind her.

“Thank you, your input is invaluable.” Maud blinked her eyes slowly with a flat expression.

“Of course!” Marble galloped outside laughing in a high-pitch melody.

It was amazing that Maud bought that load of bologna. She'd probably come to her senses in a couple of days, but it was still funny to bust her chops. Wiping away a few tears of joy from her vibrant violet eyes, she spotted Pinkie happily mixing pudding on the front porch.

“What's up Cow-pie!?” Marble walked up behind her sister, pushing Pinkie's muzzle deep into the chocolate treat with a laugh.

“Ow! I was just…” Pinkie felt as her little sister yanked the bowl out of her hooves.

Marble dunked both hooves into the cold sweet mixture. “Mmm, tastes pretty good!” She smeared chocolate around her muzzle, quickly stuffing her face with the sugary goodness. Pinkie whimpered wanting her bowl back, but within a few moments, it was completely empty.

“That was for everypony!” Pinkie let her lower lip quiver.

“Well, now it's mine!” Marble giggled licking the bottom of the bowl spotless.

“But…” Pinkie folded her ears back.

“No buts, Cow-pie!” Marble tossed the bowl off the porch into a pile of dirt.

“I'm going to tell Mommy, that you're bullying me again!” Pinkie puffed her chest out trying to take a defensive stance.

“Ooh, I'm really scared of dust butt!” Marble pushed her sister on the chest hard.

“Marble…” Pinkie plopped down on her back in a puff of dust.

“I own this farm! I can do whatever and nopony can stop me!!” Marble beamed in a devilishly wicked grin.

“Marble!” Pinkie squealed nearly crying.

“Cow-pie! Cow-pie! All she does is cry!” Marble lifted on both hooves laughing maniacally.

“Ahem, are thou making a mockery of thy sisters!?” Cloudy Quartz calmly walked out of the homestead with a quirked brow towards her youngest daughter.

“Holy bucking shi…” Marble squealed in a horrified scream, Cloudy yanking the child off the porch in fiery anger.

“Thou shalt not curse!” The mare pulled the nightmare child down the wooden steps of the house.

Marble helplessly begged her sisters for help, the other two walking out onto the porch in curiosity of all the loud noise. Both taking a seat beside Pinkie, watching Marble soon vanish into the nearby shed, forced to face her incoming fate.

The air filled with the sharp sounds of hoof across the rump. Each lashing echoing louder than the last, Limestone slowly let a wicked smile form across her muzzle. Two more lashings followed by a loud squeal, Maud shrugged indifferently.

A few more loud pops danced across the wind, Pinkie simply held back her own giggle.

After a few moments, Marble stepped out of the shed in tears. Walking up the porch to take a seat beside her sisters, her whole body shivering in an unspoken sense of fear and newfound respect towards her family.

Her rump a bright red color.

The girl's mother calmly trotting out of the darkness within the shed. Walking over to her daughter's, glancing down to them with a truly unamused expression.

“If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all! ~ Understood!?” Cloudy spoke in a stern voice.

“Totally, Ma!” Limestone spoke deviously.

“Yes, Ma'am,” Maud replied monotonically.

“Yeppers, Mommy!!” Pinkie giggled.

“Mm-hmm.” Marble gazed down at her hooves.

She had nothing to say at all.