Valey landed in front of Generosity Two, knocking sharply and letting herself in without waiting for a response. "Ironflanks?" she called, stepping inside. "Your kiddo needs you."
Maple looked up from the sofa, quickly realizing Starlight was in a state of distress. "Starlight? What happened?" She got up and quickly trotted over.
Slowly, Starlight climbed down from Valey's back, standing and glancing around the house. Everyone else seemed to be gone... save for Meltdown, but the sound of the shower would give them their privacy. It didn't really matter, though. She needed to talk, and she was going to do it no matter what.
"I found out how my real parents died," Starlight said, standing on her own. "My birth parents. They died in a climbing accident trying to find some moon glass after it fell."
Maple's ears instantly went back, and she stepped closer, holding Starlight against her good shoulder. "Oh."
Valey shuffled in place. "You want me to stay or bail? I don't wanna do the talking for you if it's something you need to say."
"Stay," Starlight commanded, exhausted from her near-panic attack. "...Valey also knows my real name."
"Bwuh?" Valey blinked. "Wait, is that why you were all... What?"
Maple blinked too. "Your real name?"
"Maybe you forgot." Starlight pulled out of the embrace and stepped over to the couch, where she sprawled out, beckoning with her tail for the other two to join her. "It's Starlight Glimmer. I told you when we first met and you thought it meant I was a Sosan because it sounded like it was from faraway. I never use it and didn't want anyone else to know... especially Valey."
Valey blinked harder as Maple went to join her on the couch. "Wait, what? Why me?"
"Because in those visions I told you about," Starlight mumbled into Maple's shoulder, "you knew my full name. So I thought if I never told you..."
Valey was all out of blinks, and just stared. "Oh." A silence passed. "Would it help if I said I forgot? I mean, with all the other stuff that happened..."
"I just said it again," Starlight sighed. "And you'll remember someday anyway. But it's not like it even matters."
"Starlight... Visions?" Maple gently interrupted.
"I think I told you about them, a long time ago," Starlight mumbled. "They happen whenever I'm at a Tree of Harmony and touch the flame for the first time. I've had two so far, and everything is dark and gray and full of the ash batponies turn into when they die with my sword. They feel like the end of the world. And in one of them, an older Valey was there, and she knew my full name."
Valey gave her a look, then sat down and sighed. "Pretty sure you never mentioned that when you were telling me about these visions at the hospital. So, like... you think me knowing that is another step along the way for them to become true."
Starlight nodded.
"So they're visions of the future?" Maple whispered. "And it's a bad one? Doesn't that mean we have to do something to change it?"
Valey raised an eyebrow. "You're just gonna sit there and not even question that your kid has visions of the future?"
Starlight sighed. "With everything else I can do, how much of a surprise even is it?"
Maple bit her lip and nodded.
"Either way." Starlight slumped. "I'm not going to do anything because the other me... who I called Glimmer, now that it doesn't need to be secret anymore... is probably from that future and she says it's my fault. My fault that the world gets so messed up. Because I wasn't happy with the way the world was, and kept trying so hard to fix it that I gave up and stopped caring or... I don't know! She was never specific! All I know is she kept saying the only way to stop it was to stop caring and let go of everything I'm trying to protect."
Maple's face suddenly shadowed, and she glanced back at her cutie mark. "That doesn't sound good..."
"And she never told anyone else any of this?" Valey frowned. "Hey, Ironflanks... are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"That it sounds like she's been causing a lot of emotional distress to Starlight and I'm wondering why I'm acting as her life support anymore?" Maple's ears were down. "I don't know what that logic is, but laying down and doing nothing because you could mess something up if you didn't is a horrible state of mind and you should never encourage it in anyone, no matter the consequences."
Starlight slumped. "But she's right, though. Have you seen how strong I am?"
"Have you seen how strong I am?" Maple countered. "I could end someone's life in an instant by deciding I don't want to keep them alive anymore." She glanced again at her cutie mark. "I could take advantage of the trust any of you put in me as a friend and say mean things and hurt you badly. I make food for everyone, and if I really wanted to, I could poison it. But I don't and I never will, because that's abhorrent! Anyone can break things and be hurtful if they set their minds to it, Starlight. And the worst I've ever been hurt is by a stallion who just didn't care either way! So as long as you have a shred of care in your heart, you would never try to end the world or anything that you're talking about. And you're so strong that if it was an accident and you still did care, you could do something to fix it again. So never say that it's best to just not care about something and that's the best way to keep it safe, okay!?"
Starlight winced.
"What I was going to say..." Valey gently poked Maple. "Is that this Glimmer sounds like a fraud and a nutjob, and I kind of want to interrogate her and get some real answers. If this is actually a future that Starlight causes and she's seen it and been there, there's gotta be a more specific reason than just 'you cared'."
"And how do we do that?" Maple asked, looking worriedly at Starlight. "I'd like to too, but we don't have a harmonic flame to bring her back like we did in Ironridge."
"Actually, about that..." Valey grinned darkly. "We kind of do. Or, at least, we have some scientist friends with a submarine who found a crystal palace at the bottom of the sea a ways away from here, and would probably do anything to get inside."
Maple blinked.
"Is that a good idea?" Starlight sat up. "I'd like to know a better way to keep the visions from coming true too, but if there was one, why wouldn't she have told me? It seems like stopping them is her biggest goal." She frowned. "Certainly bigger than making me happy. I trust her, but I don't like her!"
"Well, you shouldn't like her," Maple insisted, "because it doesn't matter what someone's reasons are, apathy doesn't protect things. You remember Wallace Whitewing? You think he ever thought the best way to protect the Griffon Empire was to care less about it?"
Valey made a face. "That dude literally got stronger by caring more. It was how his Night Mother wish worked. But hey, maybe we're jumping to conclusions. Starlight, you knew this Glimmer better than any of us. What do you think?"
"About what?" Starlight's ears fell. "I don't care about Glimmer. She's gone. I care about the fact that my parents were killed by moon glass. And I don't think going to a crystal palace and bringing Glimmer back will fix that."
"Right." Valey sagged. "You've got bigger things on your mind..."
"Sorry," Maple whispered. "Starlight, I'm... I'm just worried about you. It seems like you have so many things hurting you from so many directions, and I don't even know where to help first. But if you'd like to talk about your parents..."
Starlight looked down. "That's what Glimmer said, too. She didn't say I'll destroy the world by caring about it. She said I'll care too hard and keep getting hurt and break and stop caring, and that's when I'll do whatever it is. She probably thinks if she told me whatever it was I actually did, that would just make it easier for me if it happens again. I don't want to ever hurt the world or any of you."
"Yeah, because making you afraid of yourself is the best way to reduce pressure and keep you from snapping," Valey agreed. "Totally. Absolute best case, you'll become like me and outwardly embrace being a villain, but make sure to keep yourself small-time so you never do anything really, truly bad. And I can speak to that being a lousy scenario."
"Well, I am afraid of myself," Starlight admitted with a huff of finality. "...I'm scared."
Valey shrugged. "I really think we should try to get this Glimmer punk back and see if she can't make herself helpful for a change. But whatever." She glanced away. "...By the way, I'm real sorry you can't, like... try to learn more about yourself or your past without something horrible happening. I really feel for that. Reminds me of when I was learning about Nightmare Modules in the Empire and all about how bad of news I was. But even if there's not a lot of good news in your past, kiddo, the real good news is that's all behind you. And that means there's a chance for stuff to go better."
"But what I'm worried about is the future..."
"Maybe it would be a good idea to try to bring Glimmer back," Maple murmured. "She's the only one who really knows about the future, and even if she thinks it wouldn't help Starlight to know what actually happens, it sure would help me help her."
Valey nodded. "Yeah... I know you kinda just need to lay here, kiddo, but you were the one who knew her best. We're trying to do the best we can to help you, but I think you'd have the best opinion at the end of the day on whether she's worth interrogating or not. Purely wondering about whether we'd get anything out of her."
Starlight sighed, and didn't answer.
She was too fixated on something Valey had said earlier. Every time she learned something, especially recently, it did nothing but hurt. Maybe that was a coincidence. Maybe it was a problem she could solve. "Why do I keep not liking what I learn when I learn something about me?" she asked, not really expecting either of her friends to know.
"Bad luck." Valey shrugged. "Or maybe we're asking the wrong ponies. Chauncey and Dorable might not have been the best dudes for me to go to about eldritch moon lore, in hindsight."
Starlight thought on that. If Glimmer and Caballeron were wrong... what was the difference? Was it that they didn't care? Glimmer cared more about the world than her, and Caballeron about... something else? But then again, there weren't really ways to spin 'your parents died because they were chasing moon glass' that were pleasant to hear...
In fact, the only things she had ever talked to that both knew a lot about her and undeniably cared were the Trees of Harmony. And Valey and Maple were trying to go there.
"Maybe we should go to the crystal palace," Starlight murmured.
Maple's ears perked. "What changed your mind?"
"I don't know," Starlight sighed. She did know why, she just didn't know how to articulate it. Eylista was far from her mind, and her ability to care even about the bad future was being stretched thinner and thinner. Her friends were making such a fuss about Glimmer's logic, but maybe not caring about it really was the best way to protect her sanity. It almost sounded appealing next to what she went through every time a day like this one happened... A day like pretty much every day ever. Since they had arrived at Kinmari, first there was the archives, Gazelle, two panic attacks, her magic, the underground lab, now this...
She wanted it to be over. And yet she still had that tiny spark, and knew if she clung onto it, she could keep going forever, and maybe there would be a light on the other side.
"...I think I'm going to make soup," Maple decided, getting up. "It's not quite lunchtime, but comfort food is at least something I know I'm good at. And if I have any ideas at all on what to do, I'll let you know immediately."
"Yeah." Valey stood up as well. "I'm gonna go harass some scientists. Not commit to anything, but maybe fish around a little to see what it would be like if we tried to hitch a ride to that crystal palace of theirs. I'll be back in the evening. Good luck, girls."