Chapter 4: Going the Distance
"Is it working yet?!"
The Timelord glared at his former mate. "I'm doing the best that I can, Twilight, but if the TARDIS is down, there's not much to be done about it!"
Twilight's eye twitched again as her mane started to become disheveled and wild. "We're all gonna die..."
"Mum! This is no time for a nervous breakdown! This is the time to pull some sort of miracle out of our flanks!"
"Ah have an idea." Royal commented. Nopony seemed to hear him over the panic, though.
Pinkie Pie, meanwhiled, glared at her filly and mate. "Did you two mess with the fabric of reality and not invite me again?"
"Of course not, my dear! Not after the ice queen act last time..." Discord stated, muttering the last part under his breath.
She hardened her gaze. "Do you swear?"
"Yup!" Swirl said, bouncing up and down.
"Of course."
"Do you... Pinkie Pie Swear?!"
Discorde sighed. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." He recited with his daughter, doing the promise's well-known motions.
Immediately Pinkie went back to her normal self. "Okey dokey Lokie! Now let's figure out how to fix this big 'ol mess before the princess has to swoop in and save the day!"
"Yes, because I need even more humiliation thanks to that stick in the mud." Discord deadpanned, following his mate.
"Uh, y'know, Ah think Ah've got an-"
Suddenly, Rarity screamed. "GAH! OH MY CELESTIA!"
Braeburn raced over to her side. "Dumplin'? What is it? What's wrong?"
"D-Darling, I-I don't wish to- ngh- alarm you, b-but I- oh sweet mercy- do believe that I've gone into labor!"
The cowpony's eyes widened comically. "What?! Are ya sure?!"
"Braeburn, we have a child currently, correct? I think I know what labor feels like!"
"Huh... buh... whuh... ohhh..."
"Mother, I believe that it would be wise to take Daddy to a doctor. A medical doctor, I mean, not the weird pony with the box."
"Hey! This 'weird pony with the box' is trying to keep your home from being completely destroyed!"
"Ugh! Standing around and panicking isn't gonna fix anything! C'mon, boys, let's kick some robot flank!" Rainbow Dash yelled, starting for the door. Soarin' grabbed her tail.
"Baby, I really don't think that's a great idea."
"I'm gonna have to go with Dad on this one, Mom. Those things aren't exactly clouds." Astro commented. Sonic nodded in agreement.
Royal sighed and surveyed the library, their current hiding place. At the moment, his mother was simultaneously attempting to get Rarity through labor, bark orders to Stardust, and keep Braeburn from losing it. The Doctor was cursing while trying to reboot the TARDIS while Twilight was having a minor nervous breakdown and Andy was trying to help both of them. Soarin', Astro and Sonic were holding down Rainbow Dash to keep her from doing something that would most likely get her killed. His uncle and youngest (for an unknown amount of time) cousin were attempting to coax a shivering mass he guessed was Noteworthy and Fluttershy out from under a blanket. And he had no idea what Pinkie, Swirl and Discord were trying to do.
That was it. "EVERYPONY SHUT UP!!!!!" The unicorn bellowed, slamming his hooves on the hardwood floor.
Immediately silence fell upon the room.
"Thanks. Listen tah me! Panickin' and hollerin' ain't gonna fix this! We need a plan, and Ah got one!"
First he turned to the Time and Magic trio. "Twilight! Calm yer hooves! You and Andy need tah make a magic barrier that'll keep the robots and the pests in Ponyville! Doctor, keep workin' on that time travel thingamajig."
Then he turned to the Labor group. "Braeburn! Deep breaths! Stardust! Run upstairs and git some blankets and hot water! Rarity! Push! Mama! Git yer rope!"
Next, Royal turned to the Blue Pegasi. "Rainbow! You, Soarin' and Sonic fly as fast as ya can tah get the robots and the bugs in one place with Mama! Astro, go find Nurse Tenderheart!"
"Aw, why do I-"
"NO WHININ'!"
Astro quickly shut up.
Finally, Royal turned to the remaining Apples. "Uncle Mac! You best git a rope too! Auntie Shy and Noteworthy! Git yer flanks out from under the blanket and help Rarity!"
"What can I do, cuz?" Apple Heart inquired, eyes shining with excitement.
"Apple Heart! You... go play with some toys or somethin'."
The filly's face dropped and turned to an expression of annoyance. "Meanie."
"Hey! What about us, Royal?" Pinkie Pie asked, both her and her child bouncing up and down.
"Uh... do whatever you think will make this not worse or somethin'."
"Okie Dokie Lokie! Does anypony know where a trombone is?"
Royal smiled as everypony got down to business. "Alright, let's do this!"
Royal's plan worked perfectly. Thanks to his leadership, Team Herders (The Blue Pegasi and Elder Apple Siblings) were able to rope up all the daleks and the parasprites together under the magic barrier Twilight and Andy created, just as the Doctor fixed the TARDIS and got the daleks back to where they came from and the Chaos trio used an assortment of instruments to get the bugs out of the town and into the forest. Meanwhile, Astro brought in the nurse and, with the help of her, Fluttershy, Noteworthy, and Stardust, Rarity delivered a healthy white colt with a golden mane, and Braeburn avoided a nasty panic attack.
"It's all thanks tah you, sugarcube. Ah'm real proud of ya, Royal." Applejack said, nuzzling her child.
"We all are." Twilight amended. Everypony nodded in agreement.
Royal blushed, though it was hard to tell with his coat coloring. "Ah, shucks, everypony, it wasn't that big of a-"
Suddenly, Apple Heart gasped. "Royal! Lookit yer flank!"
"Wha- OH MAH LUNA!"
A golden crown with a green-apple shaped gem adorned the stallion's previously unmarked flanks.
"Dude! Your Cutie Mark! You've finally got it!"
"Wait, what does it mean? You ain't got no crown or nuthin'."
"Well, traditionally, a crown symbolizes sovereignty, or command of a kingdom. I think in this case, it symbolizes a talent for leading ponies."
"So mah special talent... is leadership?" Royal blinked. Then, all of a sudden, the air about him changed. "Why, that's simply marvelous! I mean, I've always been rather adept at making plans, but I could never have predicted it would be my talent! How grand!"
Everypony blinked. "Um, is it just me, or did his accent just change?" The Doctor asked, pointing to the stallion in question.
Royal tilted his head in confusion. "Whatever do you mean, Doctor? This is the same manner in which I've always spoken, is it not?"
Apple Heart, with green eyes wide, slowly shook her head. "Nuh-uh, Royal. Ya don't sound like ya normally do. Yer voice is all funny. Ya kinda sound like those fashion ponies from Canterlot that came 'round here once."
Royal's eyes widened. "But... I've never even been to Canterlot, so..." He cleared his throat. "It ain't possible that Ah can talk like that."
"Well, I think you sound extremely well-mannered when you speak in that manner, darling." Rarity commented, still laying down with her newborn son, Autumn Gold.
Nervously, Royal turned to his mother. "Mama, what's goin' on? How come Ah can talk all fancy-like?"
Applejack swallowed, something like pain in her eyes. "Ah... Ah gotta git home."
And with that, the mare ran off.
Later, near Sweet Apple Acres...
Royal sighed, staring out into the distance. After that little spectacle at the library, his mother had refused to exit her room, even for food or companionship.
And that wasn't all. When he had spoken like that... It had reminded him of a recurring dream. In it, he'd been standing in a grand hall, ponies cheering and celebrating. And next to him, a pony he didn't know had smiled welcomingly. He couldn't make out his face, but something told him that he was important, and this place... it was where he was supposed to go.
As the sun set, Royal remembered an old melody he'd heard long ago, and began to sing.
"I have often dreamed,
Of a far off place,
Where a great, warm welcome,
Will be waitin' for me.
Where the crowd will cheer,
When they see my face,
And a voice keeps sayin',
'This is where I'm meant to be'..."
Royal stood up, the light of day fading as the stars appeared one by one and Luna's domain came into power.
"I will find my way,
I can got the distance,
I'll be there, someday,
If I can be strong.
I know every mile,
Will be worth my while.
I would go most anywhere
To feel like I belong."
Again, the stallion sighed, his head dropping. "Like that'll ever happen."
"And why can't it?"
Royal jumped, fully prepared to attack whoever was there.
"Whoa! Calm down, it's just me, just the Doctor!"
The younger stallion dropped his attack stance as the Time Lord came out of the shadows. "Wha... How long have you been standin' there?"
"Long enough. You're a fantastic singer, by the way. In any case, there's no reason your dream can't come true, now is there?" The Doctor handed Royal a map. "This is a map to Canterlot, printed around next Thursday. A pony like you is made for bigger things than apple farming, Mr. Royal Red, and trust me, I know a bit about great ponies." With that, he disappeared back into the shadows.
Royal looked down at the map, then back at the farm, then back at the map again. A look of determination spread across his features.
"Ah'm no apple farmer."
After gathering a few things, Royal quietly made his way out of the farmhouse, making sure to leave a note about why he wasn't there anymore.
As he left the bridge to Ponyville behind him, the melody of that song came back to him and he started to sing again.
"I am on my way,
I can go the distance!
I don't care how far!
Somehow I'll be strong!
I know every mile,
Will be worth my while.
I would go most anywhere
To find where I belong."
As the gates of Canterlot came into his view, the weary young stallion visibly brightened. All the ponies, all the tall buildings! He'd never seen anything like it! He... had no clue where he was supposed to go now.
Hopelessness washed over him as he groaned and sat down, burying his face in his hooves.
"Ah shoulda known this was a terrible idea."
"PARDON US STRANGE MALE PONY!" A booming voice bellowed at him, nearly blowing him over.
"Celestia, ain't ya heard of-" He stopped, his jaw dropping at the sight of the dark blue Princess of the night, who looked a bit sheepish.
"Oh, my most sincere apologies! Old habits die hard, I suppose. Um, if thee does not mind my asking, why doth thee look so despondent?"
Royal stared for a moment, then swallowed. "Uh... Well, Yer Highness, Ah came tah Canterlot 'cuz, well, Ah was hopin' tah find out where Ah belong, but... Ah don't know how Ah'm s'posed to go about that."
"How troubling! Hm... I pray thee tell, wouldst thy name by any chance be that of a Royal Red Apple?"
Royal cocked his head in confusion. "How the hay did ya know mah name?"
A grin lit up the dark princess's face. "Huzzah! I was just about to make for Ponyville to fetch thee! Come, my sister hath requested thy presence in the Royal Court!"
"Wha- WHOA! H-Hey, slow down, Princess!"
At Canterlot Castle
"I am the mother of this child, not this imposter!"
"Lies! The colt is mine, you thieving wench!"
Celestia sighed. "You do realize that there's such a thing as a maternity test, right?"
The two mares looked at each other, then sheepishly backed out of the castle.
"What did they expect me to do, suggest we cut the colt in half?"
The doors blew open. "SISTER, WE GREET THEE!" Luna boomed, nearly deafening all in earshot.
"Indoor voice, little sis."
Luna blushed a bit. "Sorry. I have brought to thee the young stallion who's presence thou hath requested." At that, she pulled in the awestruck (and exhausted) Royal.
Celestia smiled. "Great job, Lulu! Come in, my young subject."
Royal stood at the entrance, frozen in a sea of emotion.
Celestia sighed once more, walking over to the pony. "Okay, I know this is probably all really overwhelming, but I just want to speak with you. Actually, there's somepony I want you to-"
Suddenly, a guard blew a trumpet. "Presenting his Royalness, Prince Blueblood!"
A tall, pompous looking white stallion with a golden mane the same shade as Royal's trotted into the Royal Throne Room, a look of annoyance on his face.
"Alright, Aunt Celestia, what have you called me here for? I'll have you know that I canceled an important meeting for this!"
"Doth thee refer to thy appoitment with thine hairstylist?" Luna deadpanned.
The prince scowled at her, then turned his attention to Royal. "And just who would this filthy commoner be?"
Royal glared at him. "Hey! Listen, ya spoiled brat of a stallion! Ah don't care who ya are or what yer title is, Ah'm every bit as good as you are!"
Blueblood's eyes widened. "Y-You... what you said... How did you-"
Celestia snickered. "My dear nephew, do you remember that mare you once had a romantic link to? I believe it was the Element of Honesty, Miss Applejack."
Blueblood recoiled in shock. "H-How did you know that?!"
"Pfft. Everypony knew that! It was quite obvious, what with all the trips to Ponyville, thy improved mood, the fact that thee went over a fortnight without firing a single servant or guard..."
The Prince blushed a bit. "W-Well, what does that have to with this kid here?"
Celestia grinned wickedly. "Soon after you and Applejack broke off the relationship, she found out she was with foal."
Blueblood's eyes widened even more. "Y-You don't mean... Th-This is..."
"Indeed I do. Nephew, this is your son, Royal Red Apple."
With that statement, both father and son passed out.
"Yep, definitely related."