//------------------------------//
// A Honeylune Wedding 
// Story: We Present To You A New Quest 
// by Split Scimitar 
//------------------------------//

This is the day, this is the day!

Ready and dressed in my full pilot uniform, all covered by a very large trench coat, I conceal my hat, instead opting for a beret for the outerwear’s sake. I’ll switch once we get to the moon.

Only Applejack and Rosalina are awake before me, the latter prepping the observatory and making company with the former.

“Mornin’ sugar cube!” AJ greets. “You look awful handsome.” She finishes dryly.

“You know me with my work duds.” I say as I pull the pilot hat out and set both it and the beret on one of the chairs. “It’s more than a symbol. It’s who I am.”

“I like it.”

“This isn’t the first time you’ve seen me wear it, you know.”

“Still looks good on you!”

“Thank you.”

When the others come aboard, everyone laughs, except for Pinkie, who grabs my beret and puts on a glasses-mustache disguise, laughing in French. Now we all start laughing.

“Whose is this?”

“Mine.” I respond.

“You brought two hats?”

“When you’re wearing a trench coat like this one, it works.”

“And you said you didn’t have any sense of fashion, darling!” Rarity beams almost proudly.

“Any word on the others?” I ask Rosalina.

“Mario and Peach are traveling with the bride in the Odyssey. We’ll meet them there. I want to make sure Lubba is ready.”

“How about the Koopa?”

“No word. I imagine we’ll meet them on the way.”

“Maybe meeting time means Bowser in the Sky.”

“Maybe. We’ll maintain low orbit until we know they’re airborne.”

“Do you have Bowser’s contact information?”

“I don’t think he has any, since his staff do all that for him.”

“Alrighty.”

Once everyone is here and aboard, Rosalina fires up the observatory and lifts off, catching the contrails and very faint train whistle from the Odyssey, which likely means that they just reached escape velocity.

At a height of about 3,000 m, Rosalina stops the climb to look for Koopa ships. sure enough, a fleet of airships slowly appears over the horizon. The front ship then fires three blank shots from a mounted cannon, to which Rosalina waves her wand and engulfs the observatory in a rocket-shaped forcefield, punching forward to instantaneously reach escape velocity.

When Rosalina relaxes the acceleration, I stand at the bridge looking more like the captain than Rosalina, to which Rarity comes in and asks to take a picture of us looking like a crew attempting to navigate the cosmos.

Soon, we come in to land on the moon. The Odyssey is already parked by the gift shop, so we park next to it. Noting the Koopa fleet a few klicks behind us, I make sure Fluttershy is okay on her feet, but today, she welcomes the reduced gravity, giving me a hug of thanks as she waits for Rosalina to secure the Observatory.

All dressed in our formalwear and a timer set until we start, we make our way to the chapel.

The Koopa fleet park closer to the chapel, since their airships are lower impact, meaning much less noisy and displace much less air. They park by where we walk, and with a smile and a buzz of excitement, each member greets me with a handshake.

When I greet Lord Bowser himself, he proudly shows his fleet off. “Thought it’d be appropriate to showcase an evolution of the Koopa fleet.”

“I approve.” I say almost immediately.

“Of course you do. I know your affinity for things that fly.”

“Is it that obvious?”

We both chuckle.

“How exciting is this? Are the kingdoms going to merge?”

“We won’t have a final decision for a while, but at the least, our armed forces will operate jointly.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“It’s finally time I put my past actions exactly there and move forward with my efforts directed at a greater good.”

“Your excellency, if it means anything, this wedding and coronation have spoken volumes about where your heart is. I know not everybody shares my view, but know that I am moved at your display of such a change of heart, and know that you’re doing this for the posterior.”

“Of course. Thank you, even though I’ve heard that speech many times already.”

“I understand, but I want you to know that your efforts are recognized and appreciated, if you don’t hear that enough.”

He only nods as we follow Jr in. Just then, Princess Peach comes out.

“Hello, are you here to make sure we don’t see the bride?” I ask with an air of formal professionalism.

“Yes, and to show you to the groom suite.” Mario adds.

“T-minus 2 1/2 hours!” Sunset calls as she puts on her headset. “How’re you feeling, your highness?”

“Not an unhealthy amount, thank you.” The Koopa King replies.

“Cap?” Louise asks me, “do you have the remote for the bells?”

“I do. We’ll test them at T-minus 1 hour.”

“Let’s do one at T-minus 2.” Sunset adds. “Two single chimes since it’ll be the top of the hour. Same at one.”

“Even better.”

“Thank you for taking the technical reigns, Miss…”

“Sunset. Sunset Shimmer.”

“Sunset Shimmer. It’s a very pretty name.” He smiles.

“Thank you, your majesty.” She half-blushes.

“Is everyone else ready?” I ask.

“Daisy, Luigi and Benito are changing right now. Peter, Marc, and Laura are prepping the chapel, and of course, Pinkie Pie is getting her desserts on.”

“Cool. I guess that gives us plenty of time then.”

“I’m going to see Jr. One last father-son talk.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll show you to his room.” Peach says.

“Alright.” He grumbles, mostly out of nervousness.

Peach takes her former captor to her soon-to-be son-in-law’s room while the rest of us head to the wedding hall itself. The girls are doing another sound check running through some of their songs top to bottom.

Allowing myself to be surprised by their set, I head outside for another cigarette. Knowing that I’m the only one not inside the chapel, I take my sweet time going through this stick, since I’m currently checking my feeds on social media, completely immune to the fact that I have cell service not only in the Mushroom World, but on their moon!

My loneliness is shattered by Cappy floating in.

“Hi Cap!”

“Sounds a little weird to call me by a name so similar to yours.”

“Hahaha.”

“Just call me Max. It’ll be easier for me if we both respond to Cap.”

“Okay!”

A handful of puffs later, Cappy leaves. Setting a timer for about 25 minutes, I time check and activate the wedding bells via remote.

Nothing.

Another press of the button yields the same result. Next logical step: cycle the batteries. No cigar.

After a few tries aiming at the bells direct line of sight, I can only assume that because the remote illuminates when I press the button, that something must be wrong on the receiver end.

“Cap!” Mario calls from the entry doors. “Why aren’t the bells ringing?”

I answer him when I get closer.

“I don’t know. I can’t get it to work. The remote works, so I can only assume something in the belfry is broken.”

“Oh great.”

“Can you access the belfry?”

“Yes.”

When we propel ourselves into the belfry, after coughing up some moon dust and getting over the smell that is ever-present in structures of its type, we reach the bell tower.

When we locate the receiver for the electronic ringer, I trace the wiring to see where it’s plugged in. That leads me to a breaker box with breakers conveniently not labeled.

“Okay, well, nothing’s labeled, so I have to flip breakers and hazard a guess as to which one controls the mechanism.”

“But we don’t know what else could be on that circuit.”

“Exactly. I guess there’s only one choice we have.”

“What?”

🎶“This day is going to be perfect.
That kind of day of which they’ve dreamed since they were small.
But while they all have their cake,
With all their friends to celebrate,
The wedding bells: they may not
Ring for them at all.”🎶

“What are you talking about? NO ONE IS WALKING OUT OF THIS!” Bowser bellows angrily from below.

“Oh, no no no, of course not! I mean that the mechanism to ring the bells is broken.”

“This is an absolute disaster.”

“Not to worry, your highness. Can we not ring them by hand?”

“We can, but it’s not going to be an easy task.”

“I can be a quasi-modo.”

“Ok then. I guess you’ll have to stay in the belfry.”

“I’m okay with that. I just might sign the belfry to commemorate the occasion.”





With ten minutes until we go live, Sunset makes sure everything is good. Rosalina is then alerted to the bell situation, who relays it to Sunset.

“You up for it, Max?”

“If I throw out my back doing it, I’ll be honored,” is all I say.

“Should I head up there now?”

“Sure. You can ring us in when we go live.” She says handing me a earpiece.

“Mic check, one two.”

“Loud and clear.”

With that, I climb back up into the belfry and have Rosalina shut the entry door so no one sees it.

“T-Minus Five Minutes.” Sunset calls.

“Alright, let’s check for slack in the rope.”

After I give a heave to make sure that the bell will ring, I wait for the next time cue.

“This is… the 2-Minute Warning! Bells ring on my mark. Go live on two!”

I don’t have a mic, so I can’t reply. Nevertheless, I wait fervently for my cue.

“Bells in 5, 4, 3, 2…”

With the force of my body weight and gravity on my side, I take a leap to a lower level and wait for the first few chimes to ring loudly. One more pull at top dead center for good measure is met with,

“Live in 3, 2, 1…”

As I keep the bells chiming, I wait for my next cue.

“Doors open, bells out. Cue the organ.”

I then arrest the inertia with the rope, sustaining a slight burn before the bell body stops and one light clang emanates.

“Doors open.”

Ludwig then begins his original composition that he promised. Sad I get to miss it.



“Doors close, finish out the prelude. Octavia and Vinyl, ready with bridal piece.”

When the doors close, I adjust my position and return to the top of the belfry to increase my potential energy for when the bells ring.

After the echoes of his beautiful performance precede a few seconds of silence, he opens “Here Comes the Bride.”

“Doors open, the bride is on the way.”

“She’s getting married and I’m getting divorced. The universe is in balance.” I chuckle to myself.

“Would you stop making this about you? Would you stop making everything about you?” My inner voice says to me.

I only chuckle. “The more you say shit like that to me, you know I’ll have a breakdown.”

“I guess you’ll have to settle. Just like you did in your life.”

“Yeah, because I lost seniority bids for all of my dream positions to colleagues who stabbed me in the back.”

“That’s all you, dude. You built up the hope for it. You were the wishful thinker. You were the one who put those dreams and aspirations on such a huge pedestal. You were the one who made your life’s mission to only see those dreams and aspirations as the only thing worthwhile in your life. I did nothing. That was all you.”

“You’re right. Having goals made me sad. Having goals set me up for failure. Having goals got my hopes up so high that I never would’ve expected the fall to hurt so much.”

“It’s not my fault that you’re so all-or-nothing. You said you were done after you didn’t get what you wanted.”

“Look, I’ll address this later. I’ll get back to you, I promise, but now’s really not the time. Can we please talk about this later?”

“Fine. Your heart attack.”

“For god’s sake.” I say out loud.

Knowing I need a sharp ear for my final cue, I listen fervently through my earpiece as Mario begins speaking.

“To all who join us for this extra special day, welcome!”

“We are honored that you are joining us from wherever you are this day,” Bowser continues. “They say love is patient and kind,”

“More like flagrant and blind.” My inner voice quips.

I stifle laughter at my own joke as Bowser ends with, “the union of Bowser Koopa, Jr,”

Mario picks up, “and Princess Annabelle Maurizia Toadstool.”

The two of them then both say, “is an example to us all.”

“No matter the lineage or the circumstances that prevailed in the course of their relationship,” Mario begins again.

“Their love for one another persevered. When tragedy and adversity became the defining factor on the surface, the resolve and grit of both bride and groom outlasted the many trials and tribulations that faced them.” Bowser follows.

“And to this day,” Mario takes over, “that same spirit, one of honesty with one another, optimism in the face of adversity, generosity in their service to their subjects, loyalty to one another and to those they love, and love for not only one another, but once again, to everyone they know and meet.”

“One built first and foremost on love and understanding.” Bowser continues. “The story that these two wonderful people present here today serves as an inspiration to all of us here in attendance, and ought to serve as an example for everyone.”

The King then pauses.

“The history these two families have shared in the past is one rife with divisiveness, disloyalty, deceit, greed, lies, and hatred. While we acknowledge that that is how the past was written,”

Mario then picks up where he leaves off, “let today serve as another reminder and a point of clarification for the future. We acknowledge that the past is and is in the past, and that while we may not forget what happened, that we may take such events and learn from them, so that we can move forward without the crippling fear of offense but also not repeating the past, lest we forget why we acknowledge the past in the first place.”

“As these two should join together in matrimony in the presence of all who join us, let us never forget the past and move forward to the future. One guided by what guides the bride and groom, and one that most importantly, continuously strives to improve upon its past for the sake of ourselves, our posterity, and our future.” Bowser finishes, ending the homily.

Mario then calls upon Rosalina to present the rings.

When Rosalina presents Jr with his ring for Annabelle, he says,

“Annabelle, when we first met, I didn’t know if you would like me because I was so different from you. I would have never imagined that my life would turn out the way it did. Now, as we stand here today, ready to spend the rest of our lives together, I can’t say enough how much I love you. Your love for those around you is clear. The duels we shared on our sand planet for many years were just a small sampling of what I have to look forward to now that we’ll spend it together. With this ring, I thee wed.”

Rosalina then presents the ring for Jr to Annabelle.

“Junior, when we first met, I always knew that despite your rough and tough exterior, that deep down there was a pure heart. One who didn’t let the views of those around him sway his beliefs. You always stood for what you held near and dear to you. That is an admirable quality that anyone would be incredibly lucky to have. You could always hold your own in our duels, and even when you taught me how to duel properly, you never stopped to let me learn on my own. Today, you show me that I can do the same today, as the future stands before us; you and I will continue to grow with each other, side by side, defending what we hold near and dear to us, together. With this ring, I thee wed.”

“Bowser Koopa, Jr.” Mario begins majestically, “do you take Princess Annabelle to be thy lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better for worse, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, always and forever, ‘till death do you part?”

“I do.”

“Princess Annabelle,” Bowser continues in kind, “do you take Bowser Koopa, Jr. to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, through thick and through thin, in sickness and in health, forever and always, ‘till death do you part?”

“I do.”

“Those who have witnessed the commitment to each other in the bonds of matrimonial wedlock are also here to witness the unity of the armed forces of the Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopa Kingdom.” Mario begins.

“Across the seas, up in the air, and on the ground. In celebration of the creation of our joint armed forces and the unification of our bride and groom, I am pleased to pronounce you husband and wife!”

“You may kiss the bride!” Mario exclaims.

The two of them then lock lips and share their first kiss as husband and wife.

“Ladies, gentlemen, Toad, Koopa, Beanish, Jewelers, friends, family, one, and all, I am pleased to announce Prince Bowser Koopa Jr. and Princess Annabelle Maurizia Toadstool!”

“Bells on, they’re hitched!” Sunset calls. “Bells on, they’re hitched!”

“This one’s for you, Notre Dame!” I exclaim to myself, and with a death grip on the rope, I jump from the belfry and ring the bells once again.





When the bells stop ringing, I exit the belfry once I know everyone’s outside.

I remove my earpiece and ask Sunset where to return it. She takes it and runs back in before I receive the newlywed soon-to-be ex adoptive daughter-in-law.

“Congratulations Annabelle.” I whisper to her.

“Thank you dad!” She whispers back.

“I’m honored you’d call me that.” I half-whisper.

“Congratulations Jr!” I say offering the groom a hug.

“Thanks man.” He responds gripping me tightly.

“I hope you find everything you’ve been looking for.” I say with an air of mystery.

I then head back to the observatory so I can return my iPad to my bag. Taking my sweet time to get to the ship, I have another cigarette to deplete my stash. Gently strolling over the surface of the moon, I foolishly have a second stick, as when I reach the observatory, who but Fluttershy should catch up to me.

“Hi Max. What are you doing?”

“Just returning my iPad. I needed it to get an idea of cues for ringing the bells.”

“Oh. Okay. Why are you still smoking? You know it’s very bad for you.”

“I know. These are e-cigarettes. All the dragon’s breath without any of the harsh chemicals and additives that cause the cancers.”

“That’s still no excuse to keep doing it.”

“I know. I have a few boxes’ worth of them that I need to finish, so once those go, then that’ll be it.”

“I hate seeing you smoke. If you enjoy it though, I don’t want you to think I’m being mean.”

“Of course not. The only people that seem to be okay with it are you and Sunset.”

“It’s not my place to tell you what or what not to do, but just know that I care for you. Smoking is one of the worst things you can do to yourself.”

“I know. That’s why I e-smoke.”

She ends up walking with me to the ship, maintaining a very slight grip on my arm in the lower gravity.

When we return to the chapel, all the chairs are now arranged with tables and the only thing in the hall is Vinyl’s turntables along with a stage and all the girls’ instruments.

Fluttershy then grabs her tambourine and starts to shake it around, probably as a warmup.

I claim a table and look for the water. Pinkie and the Toads then roll out the drinks and hors d’oeuvres. I grab a cup and have a drink.

Rosalina sits down next to me as I sigh in relief.

“I know this is the worst place to talk about this,” I hesitantly begin, “but now that all the paperwork is done, all we have to do is appear in court. When should we schedule that?”

“Let’s wait until the end of summer. Less happening.”

“Agreed. I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.”

“It doesn’t. I will always love you, but marriage wasn’t the answer for us.”

“Those views sound about as corrupt as me.”

“I know, but I guess I understand why now.”

“Why what?”

“Two of the best of friends decide to start dating and it blossom into something beautiful. That’s kind of what happened with us.”

I smile as she adds, “and then, it didn’t.”

“That’s where I have to ask what went wrong.” I say as my face drops.

“From my view,” she responds almost immediately, “nothing. Do you remember when we first got intimate, we said that we were perfect as really close platonic friends?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, turns out that’s exactly where we needed to stay after all.”

“Then that’s exactly where it went wrong. It was my idea to start dating, it was my idea to consider marriage, and I’m the one who said “we should just get married.”

“But I was the one who proposed.”

“Still, I can’t help but feel this whole mess is my fault.”

“But it isn’t a mess, and it isn’t your fault. The only one who feels bad about this is you.”

“And I think I have a right.”

“Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. My point is, I don’t feel bad about this divorce, and neither should you.”

“In that case, can I have this dance?” I ask as one of our favorite songs comes on.

“Let’s get this party started!!”