//------------------------------// // Episode 67: I Want A Refund! // Story: Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 4: At Luck's End (Comment Driven Story) // by BrownDog77 //------------------------------// You trot down the main street of Ponyville, eager for the stress relieving goodness of a spa treatment. If it wasn’t for the constant shenanigans, you’d have welcomed Ember and Greta along, but after roleplaying as your dad, fighting your dad, and yourself and then witnessing yourself being turned into your mom who then kissed your dad…yeah, your brain hurts. I just need some me time right now. No friends or family, just me, you think as the stress of the last few weeks scratches at the back of your mind. Whatever Grandbuggy and the Outcasts do for the next few hours is not your concern you conclude, as you finally reach your destination. Puzzling Frost’s Comment “Finally! Time for pampering!” you chirp as you trot into the spa to see it only slightly crowded. You walk up to the front desk to Lotus manning it. “Oh, Nightshade! It’s good to see you! How have you been?” she asks with a smile. “I’m tired but good overall. Can I have a mud bath, deep tissue massage, steam room, and whatever else I got last time please?” You say placing bits on the counter. “Oh had a rough day?” Lotus she inquires as she takes the bits. “You have no idea,” you groan at the memory of the magic comic book. “Um, how’s Aloe?” “She’s….coping,” she says with a bite of her lip. From down the hall, you hear a cry of pain as a mare limps towards the exit. “Thank you for stopping by! Come visit again! NEXT!” Aloe says with a strained voice as you see her poking her head out from a door. Her hair is messy in places, and her eyes are red from tears, and the twitching eyelids don’t help. “Yikes, guess she took the news worse than I thought,” you cringe as the injured pony limps out the door. “She’s been like this for days, I’m worried about her,” Lotus sighs and shakes her head as a very nervous whimpering mare enters her room and the door slams. “…Should she be working?” you ask apprehensively and Lotus sighs again. “Probably not, but we only have so many employees,” she admits and looks at you with concern. “But you know, despite everything, it’s no surprise as she really did like your father…obsessively at times. But still, at this rate we’ll need to hire extra help.” “No, no NO! AGH! It’s not supposed to bend like that!” the customer screams from inside. “Who is the expert here?!” Aloe growls back, followed by a crack and another whimper. “…So, about that treatment?” you chuckle nervously and she smiles all business like. “Here sweetie take this card. When your number’s called head down to room three.” “I’m not Sweetie, I’m Nightshade, but thank you,” you say as you take the card and find yourself a chair in the waiting room. “My mistake,” she says good naturedly, before going into the room of the whimpering mare, and an argument in some other language breaks out. Some of the older mares and stallions hear the commotion and arguing, and many of them find they have other plans they just forgot about and exit the building. “Well, guess that just means quicker service for me,” you shrug as you sit and twiddle your hooves on the chair. Your fellow customers who were brave enough to stay, are all either reading magazines, or watching the tiny wall TV which has some Mexicoltan Soap Opera playing. “Hmmm,” you briefly consider plugging in one of the many consoles in your Inventory and passing the time with a good game…but you don’t want to risk your precious hardware falling and breaking. You then hear a subdued sob from inside the massage room, which didn’t come from the customer and you wince. Dang, I actually feel bad for her, you think with maybe a tad bit of guilt. I mean I knew she liked Daddy, but I didn’t know she liked him that much. Still, the news would have come out sooner or later. With a ‘what can you do?’ you grab a newspaper off of the side table and flip through some articles. New Sapphire Shores tour, boring. Trender Hoof coming to town, who is that and who cares? Hey? What’s this? “Strange weather phenomenon decimates Misty Lake Forest, hundreds of animals forced to relocate,” you read aloud the article that caught your eye. A picture of a forest accompanies the headline with burnt trees and a sad looking bunny. Why does my chest feel itchy looking at this? You wonder briefly as the hairs on the back of your neck also stand on end. Shivering you continue to read. “A large chunk of Misty Lake Forest was set ablaze in what experts claim is not natural. ‘Place looks like a battlefield more than anything,’ Forest Ranger Pine Nut claimed. ‘I mean, it was obviously arson, no doubt about it, but just as quickly as it came, it just snuffed out. And then there’s the reports from the first responder pegasi fire brigade, that reported that near the lake itself, the temperature had dropped unnaturally to below zero, and that there were ice chunks floating in the water.’ Oh no, I made the news again, you think with dread and guilt as you look at the pictures of burned trees. ‘Now normally you’d think the ice put out the flames, but that isn’t the case,’ claims unicorn scientist Neighkola Tesla. ‘It’s as if the two incidents are coincidental, because the residue amongst the trees where the flames were snuffed, shows signs of Dark Magic, not ice magic. And we all know who’s been slinging that for the last four years. Oh for Buck’s sake! You think, gritting your teeth. ‘That’s right, Nightmare Moon herself is the lead suspect in this strange act. It’s no surprise as countless acts of arson have been committed by the Boogey Mare in the last four years, but this one is especially strange as no one knows the motive. A few witnesses have come forth, but their testimonies only provide more questions than answers. ‘There I was taking a hike in the woods when I heard the sound of roaring thunder overhead. The storm came out of nowhere, lightning striking the ground left and right. Never seen anything like it.’ ~ Hiker. ‘I was flying nearby trying to cut across over the forest when swear I thought I saw this big black and white wolf pack running just beneath me spreading the forest fire! ~ Nearby Pegasi. ‘I was out camping when I heard a scream and the sound of terrifying laughter. I ran faster than I ever did that day. My hooves felt like they were gonna fall out from underneath me.’ ~ Scared Camper. ‘I was just roasting some marshmallows when this stallion leapt out and put out my campfire! Then a bunch of these weird creatures trampled all over me for no good reason! I was very upset.’ ~ Sweet Little Filly. ‘Whatever Nightmare Moon’s game is, many animals have lost their habitat and volunteers have come in droves to find them shelter before winter hits.’ ‘Like, this isn’t cool man. You can’t just disrupt the ecosystem like that. Countless critters now are out of stored food. For all we know, this could affect the Breezie migration as well.’ ~Tree Hugger, Activist. ‘Once more Nightmare Moon’s machinations hurt only the innocent in her quest for power. This coming off the heels of the incident at Rainbow Falls, leaves us dreading what she has planned next.’ You heart aches as you finish reading the article, and your hooves start to crumple the paper subconsciously. I destroyed those poor animals’ homes, I didn’t even think about them! I could’ve hurt someling! You think in guilt before a scream of pain and a terrified expression flash through your mind as your shards glow beneath your scarf. No… I did hurt somebody. Very badly. The memory of hurting the stallion who had turned into a wendigo-pony colt, stabs at your insides and you shut your eyes to keep the tears back. The worst part was that I was laughing, you think with a shudder. I’d enjoyed what I was doing…and that’s the scariest part. You then open your eyes and stare back at the article hollowly. This article author, DWC, whoever they are I can’t blame them for thinking like that. I acted more like the Nightmare Moon legends than Mommy ever has… “Hey kid you okay?” a deep voice calls out as you are shaken from your stupor. You look up to see overly large stallion with muscles for days sitting across from you. “Bulk Biceps?” you ask in surprise. While you never really got to get to know the stallion you’d never forget the only one who survived your signature nard shot. “Yeah! That’s me! Hey, aren’t you Nightshade?” he asks as he notices your features. You nod dumbly and he smiles. “I heard you were back in town but I didn’t believe it because they said your dad wasn’t here.” “Uh…he’s not,” you say plainly as you get your emotions back under control. “Huh, so I guess the gossip about him tying the knot are true then,” he ponders aloud before shrugging. “Well, good for him. So how you been? Last time I really talked to ya, you gave me a heck of a farewell.” And with that he starts to laugh, and it’s very contagious as you chuckle too, albeit more softly. “Yeah, I did, sorry about that…and sorry for not apologizing sooner,” you say sheepishly. “Eh, no hard feelings, didn’t even hurt he brags and your pride gets hurt a bit. “So at the spa all by yourself?” he asks as he readjusts himself, his huge body causing the chair to creak and groan under his muscle weight. “Yeah all my friends are at school, and I needed to unwind,” you explain with a sigh. “I feel that. My food cart business hasn’t been doing well lately, figured a trip to the spa would help,” He chuckles. “You run a food cart?” “Yeah, just a little thing nothing too major. I just sell mostly travel nuts and stuff. Although maybe I haven’t been hitting the quota because I’ve been training so much for the Equestria Games,” he says with realization. “Wait, you’re going to the games?” you ask in astonishment. “YEAH!” he cheers enthusiastically, pumping his muscles. “It’s gonna be awesome! Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and I have been giving it our all, and we know we’re gonna do good because the Cloudsdale team tried to poach Dash, even though they’re made up of Wonderbolts!” You realize you’re probably missing a lot of context for that story, but one thing stands out to you more than the rest. “Fluttershy’s on the team too?” you ask incredulously. “YEAH! We have matching uniforms and everything!” he cheers once more and you quirk an eyebrow. Okay…between this guy’s wings and Fluttershy’s gentle flying, the Filly Fooler’s got her work cut out for her to make up time on…whatever the event they’re a part of, you theorize before a ding knocks you out of your thoughts. Both you and Bulk look up to the serving number card as it changes, and lo and behold, it’s your card number. “Well, good luck with the stand and competing in international sporting events,” you say as you walk towards the back. “And good luck with…being you,” he says goofily, though you feel somewhat of a twinge at that. Easier said than done these days, you think in melancholy as Lotus opens the door for you. “Ahh, Nightshade! Your mud bath is ready,” she smiles at you. “Thanks Lotus,” you say as you start to follow her back. As you do, Aloe passes by both of you without noticing and calls out. “NEXT!” “YEAH! That’s me!” Bulk cries from the lobby and you hear an intake of breath. Looking behind you you see Aloe’s eyes bulging a little and her tongue hanging out a bit. “Oooohhh, six pack…that could help ease my pain…” she whispers in a sensual voice that Bulk doesn’t hear. “...Ms. Lotus, I’m worried about Bulk,” you say to the other sister as you round the corner. “Don’t worry dear, I will take care of it,” she reassures you, though you can see her eye twitching in annoyance. “Okay good, because she was staring at him like I stare at a triple decker ice cream sundae…she’s not going to eat him is she?” you ask in worry and Lotus actually snorts. “Not if I can help it,” she giggles before opening a door revealing a tub of mud. “Now, here is your bath little madam.” “Oh sweet,” you think as you set your inventory in one of the cubbies…and then you realize something kind of important. BUCK! I forgot about the shards! You think in panic as your hoof grasps your scarf. If they see them, they’ll run and tell Twilight! The Pony Spartan’s Comment "Now... Let's take that scarf off shall we?" the spa pony says as she reaches towards you. CRAP! You mentally shout as you jump back with a empowering stance and your scarf starts to whirl around, except there's no wind to make that possible so Lotus stands there in confusion. "Uh..." you start, "I gotta use the bathroom, be right back!" And with that, you run towards the little filly’s room. “Oh, uh…okay?” Lotus mutters in bewilderment. Upon entering the bathroom, you shut and lock the door in front of you and look at your reflection in the mirror. Reluctantly, you lift the scarf and your shards are on full display. “Grrr, stupid bucking things! Why must you continue to mess with me?!” you growl as the shards thrum with soft light. Gritting your teeth, you begin to ponder your situation. “Okay, so I can’t disguise these away, and wearing a scarf into a bath is suspicious. I just need something to cover it up that doesn’t look out of the ordinary…wait a second!” A light bulb goes off in your head and you look to the shadows under the sink. “Hey! Hey Jackie! Er…Bob! Bee Zul Bub!” “Are you calling for me mistress?” your imp asks as he melts out of the shadows. “Yup! I couldn’t really decide between the two names, so I figured I’ll call you either or,” you explain and he raises a brow. “Very well then. What do you seek?” “Okay, so as you know, these pieces of jewelry in my skin don’t exactly go away, but I kind of want to get pampered without clothes on…so can you help?” you plead. “Hmm, I believe I can mistress. Brace yourself, this might feel funny,” he warns. “Huh?” you ask, but he is already in motion as he latches onto your neck, and begins to melt into you. “BWAH!” you stumble back as a combination itch and tickling sensation washes over you as you seemingly absorb his arms, legs, head and chest. Just as quickly as it happens though, he stops with his back partially sticking out of your chest. There you go mistress. Amulet pieces thoroughly blocked from view, he says within your mind as his head is inside your body. You shudder at the strange sensation, and wonder how Daddy got so used to it with Mommy. “Alrighty then…thanks Jackie,” you say as you pat the clump of darkness that is his spine and look into the mirror. It looks a bit strange, like maybe you had a scar that healed funny, but the shards are no longer visible. “…Good enough.” And with that, you exit the bathroom and go back to Lotus. “Hello again Nightshade, are you now ready for-“ “Yup! Here you go,” you say tossing your scarf to her before canonballing into the mud, splashing quite a bit here and there. Lotus wipes some mud from her cheek and just rolls her eyes good naturedly as she begins to walk off. “Enjoy your bath, and ring the bell when you’re ready for your next treatment.” “Will do,” you call back as you ease yourself into the wet earth and let out a content sigh. “Aaahhhh, that hits the spot.” After awhile in the warm, sloppy mud, your muscles begin to relax, and you feel the stress melting off of you. I may have made some mistakes, and sure things haven’t been going well for me lately, but there are still a lot of good things that have happened, you think optimistically as you sink further into the mud. My family is bigger now, I got lots of new friends who haven’t abandoned me, and I’ve come so far in bringing out the truth with Mommy and Daddy. All in all, I’ve made huge steps, and I’ll atone for the bad stuff. I’m sure I’ll see that Wendigo-Colt again and give him back his locket…though I probably should fix it first. Unbeknownst to you, under Bob, the shards become still as you are able to get your emotions under control. Ello Calebero’s Comment After a bit more time relaxing, you open your eyes…and see a colt with red eyes standing in the corner, staring at you unblinkingly. “AH! What the buck?!” you declare as you leap out of the mud angrily. As you get your bearings and wipe some stray mud from your face, you see he isn’t in the corner anymore. “…Okay you little pervert, where are you?” you growl looking around…and see him in the opposite corner, still staring. “Get out of here or I’ll kick your nads into your throat!” you order, but the creepy colt doesn’t budge. “You asked for it! Falcon Kick!” Your hoof kicks out, right where the sun don’t shine, and the whole time he doesn’t move or flinch. When you make contact… *POOF* He disappears into a cloud of confetti and the sound of a party popper. “…What?!” you bark as your brain suddenly hurts, and you are now covered in glitter and confetti which sticks to the mud. “I guess…I guess I spent too much time in the mud?” you guess as you ring the bell for Lotus. After the very perplexed spa pony sees you covered in party favors, you are hosed down with a much stronger jet of water to ensure everything comes off…and it’s not very pleasant. And just like that, the relaxing mood you built up vanishes. “Stupid Gorramned Confetti Ghost!” The Pony Spartan’s Comment Down With Chrysalis’s Comment After essentially being sprayed down by a cold fire hose, Lotus takes you to another room and puts that weird green goop on your face. I still don’t get how this stuff is supposed to help my face, you think as you eat the cucumbers that are supposed to go over your eyes. After eating a few more, she stops putting them on and leaves you to sit. “Oh my gosh! Nightshade!” A bubbly and excited voice squees. Turning to the source, you see a familiar pegasus mare with crooked eyes, wearing a matching grey robe as yours. "Derpy!" you shout happily and you would stand up to hug her, but they told you to stay still so the stuff on your face wouldn't be ruined. "How have you been?" "Everything's been great!" she says, before looking around and whispering, "Your dad still isn't back from his adventure to the other dimension I see." "Ah, so Jack told you huh?" you half ask while nodding your head. "But yeah no, he still isn't back." "They'll be back, it's your dad and mom we're talking about here. They've always pulled through no matter how much lady luck tries to throw them off," she encourages as she walks to the chair next to you. "Yeah I know…but still," you shrug and she nods. She then takes the empty long chair next to you and rests. "Ahhh…" she sighs as she puts her hooves up. “I love having a me day once in awhile. Working at the post office, raising Dinky, and now being married to the Doc can be quite a hoofful sometime.” “Oh…is that bad?” you ask hesitantly and she smirks at you. “Not at all, I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she giggles. “Being a part of a family is tiring work, but it’s well rewarding.” “I bet,” you think as you look at her smile. Will I be that happy when Mom has a body and we can stop running and just live? You wonder enviously. “So, Nightshade, I heard you’re the Old Bug is causing mischief and mayhem as he usually does?” she asks and you roll your eyes. “Tell me about it,” you huff and she giggles. “What have you heard?” “Oh just some odds and ends about how BST’s Grandfather is in town, already courting the head of the Apple Family and has a posse of varied creatures at his beck and call,” she lists. “Yeah, well, it’s not exactly lies,” you shrug. “Although I wouldn’t say the others are at his beck and call, more like…they just kind of started hanging out with us and aren’t leaving. Except for Ember that is, I guess we do technically own her and stuff…but it’s complicated.” “Oh Shade, I traveled with your Grandbuggy for awhile, I know exactly how complicated things could get,” she laughs, which infects you and you join in. “Still, after all these years, I can’t believe he and Granny Smith found each other again.” “That’s been one of the best things,” you admit. “I mean, one of my best friends is now my best cousin, Applejack, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie are willing to give Mom and Dad a chance, and it’s just…it’s great. I just hope Dad gets back soon so he can enjoy it too.” “He will honey, he will,” she encourages and pats your foreleg. “And who knows, maybe when Jack finishes his weird science with them, we could be neighbors.” “…I’d like that,” you nod. “I mean, Daddy really loves Appleloosa, and I do too…but I’ve got more here that I’m attached to.” “Well, you are his precious little filly, I’m sure you’d be able to persuade him to change his mind,” she smirks conspiratorially and you grin. “Heh heh, yeah I guess I could. Though I wonder, would we be the whacky neighbors, or would that be you? I mean, he still is The Doctor isn’t he?” "Well…yes and no. He’s not a Timelord anymore, and he goes by Time Turner now, but he still does respond to Doctor. He thinks that’s my little nickname for him." She adds with a giggle. “Oh…so he’s not as goofy?” you ask. "Oh no, in the end he's still the same as always," she corrects. “It’s just that now he’s here to stay. His big blue box will be waiting for him when…our times come, but that won’t be for many decades.” “Ah, so there goes my next question,” you say thinking about the TARDIS. “Yeah, he’s not touching that thing till he wears another face,” she says with determination. “Besides, the only two people on this whole planet that could get it running beside him are your Grandbuggy and Jack, and they’d have to convince me pretty darn hard to borrow it.” “I don’t doubt it,” you nod as you see the steely resolve on her face. “But still, if The Doctor isn’t a traveler anymore, but he’s still kind of the same…can he still fix things?” “Heh heh,” she giggles. “Funny you should say that, he’s become somewhat of a Tinkerer and Scientist now that he’s a regular pony. He’s advancing our tech little by little without even realizing it.” “So…do you think he might be able to fix something like this?” you ask as you lift the broken locket from out of your inventory in the corner and hand it to Derpy. “Oh wow, this thing had a number done on it,” she says as she inspects it. “Who’s the mare in the picture?” “I don’t know…I kind of broke it and it belonged to someone that didn’t deserve it,” you say as you flash back to the lake. “So I’d like to at least mend it as an apology.” “Hmm, I’ll see what I can do,” she nods as she puts Frost’s broken locket into her robes. REMOVED FROM THE INVENTORY Frost’s Locket (Broken) “Thanks Derpy, I really appreciate it,” you say in relief and she gives you another sweet smile. “Don’t worry about it. How about as payment, you and the Old Bug drop on by sometime for a visit? I’ve heard the news reports like everypony else in the country, and I’d like to know the real story.” Your eyes subconsciously dart to where Bee Zul Bub is covering the Alicorn Amulet pieces and a bit of sweat trickles past the green stuff. “…Yeah, we’ll get on that when we have time,” you promise. “I can’t wait,” she chirps before lying back next to you. “So, what’s a gal got to do to get a moisture mask?” “I think you have to ring the bell,” you say pointing to the instrument resting on the coffee table between you. “Oh, duh!” she bops her forehead before giving the bell a ring. “There we go.” “So Derpy? I’ve been meaning to ask. What exactly does this face cream stuff do?” Before she can answer though, there is a flash of light in front of you two and a familiar grating voice speaks up. “I believe it’s so that older mares who are desperate to avoid wrinkles like the plague, but luckily for you, you won’t have to worry about that for centuries, if Tia and Lulu are any measure.” “Discord!” you growl, but are taken aback by his appearance. "Now now, I know what you're thinking, 'Buck him up! He screwed you and your daddy and even though he claims to be your friend he won't even lift a talon to fix your mess!' Am I right?” “Well…yeah,” you nod sincerely. “But also, why are you covered in yellow feathers and honey?” He looks down at himself and frowns. “Oh drat, I knew there was something I intentionally forgot to fix. Hold that thought,” he says as he snaps his fingers and a large barrel labeled “Vanilla Cream” appears, to which he cannonballs into. He then immediately rises up, wearing a shower cap and scrubbing his back with a brush and Derpy sighs. “And here I thought I would have some relaxation time.” “You can say that again,” you grumble as the God of Chaos looks over at you, now de-feathered and covered in goop. “Oh come now, there could be worst company to spend your time with,” he points out, before suddenly in a flash, the barrel and all the cream filling is gone and he looks shiny and radiant. “Ah there we go, so refreshing.” “Again, why were you covered in all of that Discord?” Derpy repeats. “Oh, just some fallout from dealing with cracks in dimensional reality,” he handwaves and Derpy’s eyes widen. “WHAT?!” “Oh yes, I’ve had to patch up a few cracks here and there, but lately they’ve been increasing and I have no idea why,” he shrugs. “But they’re a fun distraction.” “Whatever, what do you want Discord!” you demand, while crossing your hooves. “Hmmph, why does it have to be something that I want? Maybe I just dropped in to say hello, did you ever consider that?” “No,” you say plainly and he smirks. “Good answer. But anyway, I didn’t come to fight or anything, so please no nard shattering, or they’ll be more confetti,” he warns. “You son of a-You’re the one who made that creepy thing?” “Of course! I couldn’t resist playing a little joke on you beforehand,” he chuckles. “I had to get hosed down and it ruffled my fur you jerk!” you pout and look away from him. “Exactly! Everyone had fun,” he laughs and you roll your eyes. “Now look, I don’t want to fight, and I know you don’t want to go on a tantrum and explode this lovely establishment, so why don’t we just have a civilized discussion?” "About what?" You spit with a glare. "I just thought that since I'm free we could have a friendly chat! Or just say hello! Your father disappeared without a trace and I've been so bored lately. Sure I've been watching you and your group of misfits, but that's absolutely nothing compared to what your dear old dad is capable of. By any chance, do you know where he is?" "Buck off..." You say, your glare not faltering. "Oh dear, sorry for striking the wrong chord. Anyways, I thought since you were close by to home I could come over and visit you. Although until now you've always been with Twilight, a different Element of Harmony, your friends, or lover!" "You live near here- Wait. Lover?" you gasp with a blush. "But now you're in a quiet setting with Derpy here. So how has life been my cute little Nightmare Moon?" "That’s not my name and I don't want to talk to you right now!" You say, closing your eyes once more. "Oh, but you will! And soon at that! You see, a certain cousin will be coming over to play in the next few days, and I'm sure you would love to join in." Cousin? Who’s he talking about? What cousins would be visiting? Babs? Braeburn? Nah, Discord wouldn’t care about them… I think he’s talking about someone even bigger Mistress, Bob responds and your eyes widen in understanding. "Cadence?" You ask, opening your eyes and staring at him once more. "Correct!" He says, holding up a sign with a star. “Although you only get half the points because that little monster clinging to you helped.” "Why is she coming here? And what do you mean play? What are you planning Discord?" you demand and he just shrugs and gives you a spit eating grin. "You'll just have to come to our playdate and find out for yourself," he says cryptically. "Why do you even want me there? Can't you just leave me alone?" you huff. "Well, let's just say that three alicorns are better than two. And are you really going to pass up this chance to see a long-time friend just because of me?" "Maybe!" you pout pettily. "Well don't. Anyway, just be sure to come to Twilight's house around..." He checks three watches on his tail before shrugging. "Eh, your lady luck will bring you there. You’ll know the time is right when dear sweet Flutteshy goes out of town.” You frown at that. “What are you planning that you don’t want her to see?” you insinuate and his face awashes with false hurt. “Oh, Nightshade, you wound me! I’m not doing anything nefarious that would tarnish Fluttershy’s opinion of me!” “Oh Bullspit!” you disregard. “If you really cared about her, you would actually help me out instead of being a troll. I swear, she may be a pain in some ways, but if you hurt her I’ll-” His mock hurt turns to genuine anger as he leans over you “For your information, little miss potty mouth, it’s because of her that I restored all of the correct memories from that day we first met,” he growls. “Wait, you did?” you ask taken aback. “Yes! After your little Illuminati meetings, she asked me politely and I didn’t even hesitate,” he harrumphs and with his hands on his hips. “What?! Then how come no one’s shouting that on the streets or anything?” “Because like I told your dad last year, it didn’t matter. Most ponies are stubborn and won’t change their mind, even while drug kicking and screaming through the trurth. So yes, they know your Dad helped against me way back when, but the skittish equines all push it that Nightmare Moon had a vendetta against me.” “But…but that’s…” “Stupid yes,” he nods with a frown. “And you wonder why I usually only hang out with Fluttershy. She’s one of the only ones willing to give a chance…” You pick up some notes of resentment and even hurt in that statement, and you are thrown off a bit, but just as quickly, his mood shifts again. “So come along and play when the time comes, it could be fun,” he says while mini-fireworks go off around his head. You open your mouth to say something but he raises a claw to stop you. “And before you ask, no, I can’t help with your new bling. I’ve already tried.” “You did? When?” you cough in surprise. “You were out in that delightful Merchant’s trailer for awhile, so I had a chance to sneak in and try to help. I mean, I created the Plunderseeds centuries ago, but the last thing I wanted was something like this.” “But…you’re a god. Why can’t you-“ “Umbrum magic and Chaos Magic go together like oil and water kiddo. I know you won’t believe it, but sorry,” he then leans down again and whispers. “But a certain cousin who runs an Empire made of crystal might have some clues.” He then leans back winks and snaps his claws. “Tata for now.” And with a flash of light, he is gone. “Well…that was unexpected,” you say before you feel something tickling your nose. Bringing a hoof to your cheek, you feel more confetti and glitter sticking to you. "Oh for-GRRR! You say you're my friend but you still buck with me!" "He'll come around," Derpy says a bit absently. "The Elements are gone so he has no reason to comply with the princesses other than his friendship with them. So far he's been doing great…” “Yeah, but he’s still a troll,” you complain as you start smearing the stuff off of your face. “True…but anyway, I have to cut this short,” she says as she stands up. “What? Really? Why?” you ask a bit crestfallen. “Discord mentioned something about dimensional cracks…I’ve got to get in contact with Jack, because in my experience, those aren’t a good sign,” she says with a shudder. “Really? Cause it looked like it just covered Discord in gunk,” you point out and she shakes her head. “That’s the least of our worries…” she says under her breath. “Take care for now Nightshade, I’ll see you later!” And with that she rushes out the door, leaving you alone. “Huh, guess all that traveling made her paranoid,” you shrug as Lotus walks in. “Wha-? How in the world did you get more confetti and glitter on you?!” she demands. “Because Discord!” you harrumph, before you yet again have to be hosed down. The Pony Spartan’s Comment Some Time Later “Uuugggghhhh,” you groan as you sit in the steam room, not even remotely relaxed after another decontamination shower. “I paid good money for this, and so far it’s been a disaster!” "Hey there madam! I'm here with my family on a trip and I just have to say you look absolutely divine!” a snooty rich accented voice breaks your melancholy and you see a blonde unicorn colt walk into the room. “How would you like to grab a treat after your visit here?" Now any other filly in your position would perhaps blush and politely decline his offer. But your dad raised you. "Buck off pervert! I'm busy!" The colt looks shocked for a second before glaring and walking away with his nose up like Prince Blueblood. “Hmmph, see if I ever try to be a gentleman in a small town again!” “Uggghhh,” you groan as you rub your temples. “This sweat box isn’t helping!” “I know what you mean, you should try the jelly baths…” a creepy voice says from next to you. Entirely done with the day, you are not at all surprised to see that weirdo that likes dunking himself in large vats of jelly sitting next you. “They don’t have those here,” you deadpan. “I know…you have to bring your own,” he says as he gets out a jar of jelly and starts pouring it on himself. “Falcon Kick!” you cry as you kick him in the nards, and his greased up carcass slides out of the room. “What the-I thought I told you to stop bringing food in here!” you hear Aloe chide him as you stomp out the door. “Creeps and Perverts Are Everywhere! Just give me a dang massage!” you demand to her as your shards begin glowing again. Roker12’s Comment Down with Chrysalis’s Comment WARGAMES’s Comment Even More Time Later Of course it would end up like this! Buck You Lady Luck! You mentally shout as Aloe gives you a back massage. Since you stormed out of the steam room, and Lotus had other customers, the only one who could service you was one of your Dad’s stalker crowd. Now all things considered, it isn’t too bad. She is working out the kinks in your shoulders, especially the joints where your wings come out when they’re not hidden…but the air is clearly awkward…also it is kind of smells in here. “Hey Aloe?” you venture. “Yes Ma’am?” she asks distantly. “You think you could light some candles or something? It’s kind of smells stinky in here.” “Oh yes, my apologies…” she says as she does just that. “That would be thanks to Mr. Biceps. His “massage” uh, got kind of intense,” she says with an awkward cough. “…Okay,” you say, a bit creeped out at the way she phrased it. “Um…listen Aloe, can I just say something to you?” She stiffens at that and stops moving her hooves. “Oh? Uh, what is it you-“ “It’s about my Dad,” you cut to it and she goes stock still. “Listen, I know you liked him a lot, a lot of mares did, but that doesn’t mean you have to be so down in the dumps and everything.” “I…I just…” she stammers out, but you continue. “I know I’m just a kid and stuff, but a lot of grownups hang onto the silliest things. Just because my Dad is happy with my Mom, doesn’t mean he’d want you to be sad.” “Oh…you’re already calling her mom…” she says hollowly and you facehoof in frustration. “Look, Aloe, a pretty mare like you could get any guy she wanted. I know you might be jealous because of how much my Mom and Dad love and care for each other. Anypony would want how honest and open they are with each other in their relationship. So don’t stop trying, because there’s bound to be a guy who-“ “Open relationship you say?!” she gasps, suddenly bending down to look in you the eye with a horrifying expression. “EEP!” you shudder back as she leans in. “Did I hear that right? Open Relationship?!” she demands and you start to sweat. “Uh…yeah? They tell each other every-“ “Oh Splendid! So Splendid! They’re one of those couples! Ha ha ha hahahahahahahaa!!!” she laughs maniacally and suddenly all that hard work loosening your muscles has been for naught as you tense up. What the buck…? You mouth as she suddenly starts pacing back and forth. “This is good, this is good. Though I can’t make myself look so desperate. I’d have to adhere to their tastes after all! Perhaps it’d be more mature to go the swinging route! Bulk can help with that! In fact we should start the trend so that it’s common place when they get here. Are Lyra and Bon Bon a couple? Eh, semantics, semantics.” She then leaves the room, leaving you alone and very, very confused. “…What just happened here?” you gape. After a minute, you realize she isn’t coming back, so sighing, you trod out and head towards the Hot Tub without any assistance. “I feel like I just pulled a Daddy back there.” And as you flop into the warm bubbly water, you swear you hear Bulk somewhere in the distance scream an enthusiastic, “YEAH!!!” You sit with only your nose above the water, absentmindedly blowing bubbles as you try and fail to relax. I’m starting to feel like this whole thing was a waste of time and money, you think in melancholy. Kichi’s Comment “Ah, some pampering sounds amazing right now, you have no idea the morning I’ve had darling,” an annoying voice sounds from the hallway and you nearly inhale water with your gasp. Oh for crying out loud! Really?! “No problem Ms. Rarity, we’re always happy to have you. Thank you for waiting so patiently, it seems my sister has left work early for some reason” a very tired Lotus answers in the hallway and you just groan. Of course McStabFlank would show up! Why the buck not! Thanks Lady Luck, for the dingleberry topper on this crap sundae! Unbeknownst to you, the water temperature actually increases as you stew in anger and frustration and the glowing shards even start to discomfort Jackie, but he still serves dutifully. “That’s a shame, though I’m not in the market for a massage today, so I think I’ll go soak in the hot tub first,” Rarity says which brings you even more anguish. Gorramnit! Was the comic book and confetti not enough?! Now I gotta share a tub with that anorexic whorse! AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!! You mentally roar as you start to thrash about in the water. “Oh dear, is somepony in there?” Rarity asks and you cast your glare towards her, barely visible above the water and she gasps. “Oh Ms. Nightshade, so that’s where you’ve gotten off too,” Lotus says in relief as she recognizes you. “Oh, Nightshade! How lovely to run into you darling,” Rarity says enthusiastically as she slides into the tub with you. “Meh!” you blow a bubble and try not to look at her directly. “Um, Ms. Nightshade, sorry to ask, but did Aloe finish her session with you before leaving?” Lotus asks nervously. “No! She got all creepy and started talking about swinging with Bulk Biceps and Lyra and Bon Bon, so go check a playground or something,” you bark, fed up with the hornedous service you’ve endured. Both Rarity and Lotus’s eyes widen for some reason though at your words and they look at each other. “Oh my…” Rarity says with a blush as Lotus’s eye twitches even more rapidly. “…Excuse me for a moment ladies,” she apologizes, before she steps into the hall, closes the door, and you hear her shout, “ALOE!!!” And as her hooves echo down the hallway, you are left with McStabFlank. Down With Chrysalis’s Comment “Ohoho, I can’t wait to tell Applejack about this one,” she giggles and you just roll your eyes. “Whatever,” you grumble and she looks at you with a smile. “So Nightshade darling, you absolutely, positively must tell me what is new with you!” “…Nothing’s new,” you grunt, but she doesn’t take the hint. “Nonsense darling, I mean, your father has gotten married and you’ve come to visit with your Grandfather, who I heard was an old fling of Granny Smith!” she pushes. “Yeah, well…that’s the gist of it,” you say stiltedly, hoping to end the conversation. “EEE, I knew it! Applejack was so tight lipped, but I think she was just embarrassed that her Grandmother is dating again and she’s still single,” she giggles and you look at her blankly. “I mean, even Twilight is moving further along in her companionship with Flash Sentry than Applejack’s stilted love life. Perhaps she’s still miffed too about your father’s new situation.” You flash back to her drunken state and Grandbuggy’s description of her face when the truth came out. “…Something like that.” “Well I’m sure some stallion will fall for her sooner or later, but I doubt that’s happening anytime soon. But anyway, Nightshade, I know we haven’t seen you in some time, but I would love to work on an ensemble for you. Sweetie Belle said that she was going to try and get you in on the Flag Bearing ceremony for the games, and you definitely need to look your best.” “Oh, uh, I don’t really have any money…” “Oh that’s of no concern, you’re a friend after all, not only to Sweetie Belle and Spikey Wikey, but to all of us,” she says flashing a very earnest smile and you are taken aback by the generosity. Wha…Friend? You? I’ve only ever disliked you lady. Why is my love rival treating me so nicely? You think in confusion. Love rival? Jackie questions and your eyes widen. “I DIDN’T SAY THAT! I DIDN’T EVEN THINK THAT!” you yell out loud, startling Rarity. “Say what darling?” she inquires. “Nothing! I didn’t say anything about Spike!” you deny as your eyes dart around and she smirks. “Ohhh, thinking about Spikey Wikey are we?” she insinuates and your face flushes. “No!” “Really now?” she says in a non-believing tone. “Yup! Not thinking of him whatsoever!” She pauses for a moment before smirking trollishly. “Oh I suppose you’re right. I mean, I guess there’s not much to him to even remember…” “…What?” You growl. “Oh sure, I suppose a dragon amongst ponies is a novelty at first, but after awhile you realize there’s nothing great that he contributes and-“ “YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!” you shout in her face. “Spike has more to offer this world than you and your gallons of runny make up and-WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!” “Ahahahaha, oh, forgive me darling, I was merely teasing you,” she laughs and wipes at her eye. “Of course I would never demean my Spikey Wikey like that. He is a perfect gentleman after all. I just wanted to see if he truly wasn’t on your mind.” And with that she smiles at you playfully and your face flushes. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! You clever bimbo! Stop making me feel embarrassed! You mentally cry as you lower your face into the water, so that you have an excuse for being red in the face. “I suppose you’re right though, I have started cutting back on the amount of eyeliner I implement,” she says conversationally with a chuckle and you raise your head, refusing to look at her. “Yeah, that’s great, so great…So, uh…what’s new with you? I heard you won a contest or something!” She takes the bait to change the conversation and goes all in, hook line and sinker. “That is absolutely correct Nightshade. My theme was chosen above the rest, and Trenderhoof himself is coming soon,” she says with a swoon. “Trenderhoof?” you repeat, remembering seeing that name in the paper earlier. “Who dat?” “Why, only the most handsome and brilliant stallion with an eye for what’s hot and what’s not,” she says dreamily and you raise an eyebrow. “Do…do you like this guy?” “Like this guy? Darling I ADORE Him!” she insists. “His perfectly flowing mane, to his stylish glasses, and that perfectly hewn face…Ooooohhhhh.” “Uh, Rarity? If this guy’s a celebrity or something, maybe you shouldn’t put so much stock into him, it could be disappointing,” you point out, remembering the bad experience Daddy had with Sapphire Shores. “Oh, psh!” Rarity dismisses. “I know that he’ll know true beauty when he sees it. And once I’ve caught his eye, this sky’s the limit.” Wait…if she’s going after this Trenderhoof guy, then she won’t string along Spike anymore! You think in realization and you smile cruelly. “You know what Rarity? I think you’re right. This Trenderhoof sounds like a great guy.” “He’s more than great, but thank you darling,” she smiles. “In fact, if there’s anything I can do to help out, let me know, I will make sure everything runs smoothly!” you say enthusiastically and her eyes light up. “You will?!” “Of course!” “So does that mean you will let me take your measurements, create you an ensemble, and have you model some fashionable children’s clothing I’ve created?” “Yup!” you say immediately and your eyes widen. “No wait, I mean-“ “Ohhhhh, terrific! Thank you Nightshade, you don’t know how much this means to me!” she says as she hugs you and you pale. …What did I just get myself into? And Why?! Because you want the dragon to yourself? Shut up! In The Human World Bugze whips his head around and frowns. “For some reason I feel the need to start practicing dragon hunting…” he says ominously. “Yeah?! No Crap!” B2 snaps as a dragonfied Fluttershy picks Humbra up and flies him above the carnival. “Oh right,” he nods as the Dragonfied humies bear down on him and Midnight Sparkle. “But seriously how’d you even manage this?!” “I don’t know! I was trying to summon hell hounds or something with Spike’s fur! I didn’t think THIS would happen!” Back To You You now find yourself grumbling as you walk back towards the Apple Farm. Somehow, you’ve gone and volunteered to be one of Rarity’s fashion dummy’s, and will try to get her with some fashion dweeb in the near future. I just wanted to relax…just once! You whimper as the rest of your time in the hot tub was spent listening to gossip and Rarity’s plans for you. You did get a refund thankfully, but even now, as the sun begins to set, you feel like you’ve had enough for one day. How does dad live with the madness day in and day out? You wonder as you pass through the market. Lots of practice I would assume, Bob says in your head and your frown. Hey! I got the scarf on again, get out of my chest cavity and go home to the darkness! You order. Yes Mistress! He says and if he could salute, he would have. There is that tickling itching sensation once more, and his presence leaves you. Looking under the scarf, you see the dormant shards once more. That’s better, you nod as you pass by Lyra and Bon Bon. “Seriously, what’s that mare’s problem?” asks Bon Bon. “Who just asks something like that so casually?” “Ah, don’t be too hard on Aloe, she’s going through some hard times what with Tennant and everything,” Lyra placates. “Yeah I know, but I think I preferred her moping to this,” Bon Bon says with a shudder. “Well I don’t know…I mean, aren’t you at least a bit cur-“ “Do not finish that thought Lyra or I will lose all respect for you,” Bon Bon grunts and the unicorn mare stops midsentence. Rolling your eyes at whatever drama they’re dealing with, you keep walking past all the food stalls… Kersey475’s Comment “Hey there little filly. Care for any pears or pear accessories?” asks an older stallion. Looking up at him, you see a very elderly stallion with an amber coat and brown mane, giving you a kindly smile. “Sorry mister, not in the mood right now,” you tell him plainly. “Oh, well alright then,” he says in understanding. “Besides, I think that I’m no legally obligated to not eat any now that I’ve found out who’s part of my family,” you say as you keep walking. “Huh?” he questions, but you don’t stop walking. When you arrive at the farmhouse, you see Grandbuggy sitting on a rocking chair with Mangle in his lap, next to Granny Smith who are both smiling. “And so the prodigal Great Granddaughter returns. How was your spa?” he questions. “Sucked,” you grunt. “Mhmm,” he nods. “Get a refund?” “Of course,” you roll your eyes and give him his bits back. “Good girl,” he nods and rubs your mane and you sigh. “Go on dearie, we saved you some supper,” Granny tells you with a smile. “And it’s dang good too,” Grandbuggy encourages. “I mean, even the prissy lizard felt happier and jovial after eating some.” Your eye twitches at that, as everyone else got into a better mood while you prolonged the suffering. “Sounds good…” you spout as you walk through the front door and see Ahuizotl talking to Big Mac. “And then this strange mare with this overly muscled pegasus stopped me and Daring and proposed that we-Oh Hi Nightshade,” Ahzi waves at you. “Hey,” you nod. “How’d things go with Daring?” “She’s…understanding a bit,” he says rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, we did discuss payment for past and future novels involving me so…it’s a start?” “Well good luck with that,” you wish as you enter the kitchen and Garble arguing with Ember and Greta. “Can’t we just go back to that tree and see if it’ll change me back?” “I’m not going back there,” Ember dismisses. “And that’s a dumb plan anyway. Who knows if the tree will make you even younger for laughs,” Greta points out and he holds his head in misery. “You just gotta eat good and grow up again,” Ember snarks. “Buck That!” “Language!” Applebloom yells from the other room. …Yeah, definitely should have just stuck with the group, you think in regret as you grab your saved plate of dinner. The Next Day After venting your frustrations to Applebloom late into the night, you finally did get some rest…but you are awoken early in the morning by a very frustrated Applejack who’s yell echoes across the whole farm. “What in tarnation was that?” Applebloom asks as she blinks her eyes blearily. “Ugh, probably something dumb,” you moan as you go to the window and look out to see Applejack stamping on her hat in the distance. “Gorramned, Motherbucking BATS!!!” “Bats?” you question as you look from her to the rest of the farm, and see countless Apples that are shriveled and rotten looking. “Huh? Wonder what that’s all about?” WHAT DO YOU DO?