//------------------------------//
// Chapter 6: Hope 
// Story: Fallout Equestria: Our Will (rewrite) 
// by AngryPenguin 
//------------------------------//


"Sometimes, all we can do is wait and hope for the best."


Fear. Everypony has it at some time or another. Some may show it, others refuse to acknowledge it. It doesn't matter if you're a filly hiding from the monster under your bed, or if you're a full grown stallion about to fight a battle. Fear is fear. It can be a daily struggle for ponies like me. Being scared of your own shadow sounds farfetched, but it is something I have to live with. Can it make you? Yes. Can it break you? Absolutely. That's why the strongest of ponies can fail. Bravery may be important, but even if you don't have it, it makes you no less of a pony. Besides, didn't Pinkie Pie teach us to laugh at what frightens us?

I slowly regained consciousness. I don't know how long I was out. It felt like only minutes, though. Dreariness settled in my mind as I rolled my head to my shoulder. I realized I was sitting up. I also noticed something was covering my eyes. My stomach turned and my head still hurt. 

Where am I? That cloaked pony! She must have kidnapped me! Oh, Celestia, she was a raider or slaver, or... or just plain evil!

Panicking, my stomach couldn't take anymore. I leaned over and vomited. I started shivering as the bile left a horrible taste in my mouth.

"Welcome, Sienna." A mare's voice came from somewhere in the room. She sounded like she was middle aged.

"Wh-who are you? How do you know my name?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"You may call me Hope. I can assure you, I'm no enemy. As for how I know you? Well, I've known you for years." She was calm and... oddly soothing?

I coughed. My chest was really hurting. "Y-you will regret holding hostage an officer of the Enclave! I-I will..."

"Yes. First Lieutenant, correct? Your parents must be so proud." Her voice echoed in the room, through my ears.

I stayed silent for a second, before I dropped my head down. "My parents are dead." I said quietly.

"Are they?" I could hear her hoofsteps. She was circling the chair I was restrained in. The straps were on too tight. "Is that what those liars told you?" Her voice was full of venom, now

"Do not insult my place of order!" I barked. I could feel my anger rising.

She chuckled. "You poor, poor dear. You really have been there your entire life." Her laugh suddenly stopped. "They do nothing but tell lies. Their selfishness has gotten them targeted by almost everyone. Their behavior will not go unpunished. That's why you're here." If she was waiting for a response, she didn't get it. Whatever she needed me for, I wasn't about to take part in it. "The necklace your... ghoul friend gave you. Do you know what it is?"

I stayed silent.

"It contains an emerald that will show us the way to a very powerful magic." She informed.

Before she continued, I blurted, "She's my friend! You won't get your hooves on it!"

She tisked. "As much as I'd love to take it, it would be of no use to me, anymore." She jammed her hoof in my chest. "Because you put it on, you are now the only one who can use it. Therefore, I need you to find the rainbow pearls and bring them to me."

"R-rainbow...pearls?" I questioned.

"Indeed. A very powerful magic lies in them. No one knows much about them or where they came from. Only that the Princess had them locked away somewhere. The jewel is the only way to locate them. Something inside of it knows where they are."

"Why am I the only one who can use it?" I asked.

Her hoof slammed on wood. "Because the jewel is now connected to your soul!" She calmed. "Thanks to your friend, it was taken from its hiding place before I was ready for my plans." Everything went still. The only sound came from my rugged breathing.

I didn't like this at all. "I'm not doing anything for you."

I knew she was smiling from the tone of her voice. "You will. Tell me, how many raiders would it take to destroy the quaint, little town of Floater? How many more would it take to destroy your little coltfriend's cozy home?" 

What?! She couldn't do this! I-I couldn't live with myself if something happened to them all! My lungs began to burn, again. Whatever was wrong with me, it wasn't good.

"Y-You better not hurt them! I'll... I'll kill you!" I coughed.

"Do we have a deal?" She purred.

I quit struggling and hung my head. My sobbing grew uncontrollable. What else could I do? She had my new friends above my head. Their fate was in my hooves. What if I failed, though? I was only one pony! I probably wouldn't even survive. But I couldn't just let them die. I decided I had no choice.

With tears streaming down my face, I nodded in defeat. "You get them, and you don't harm anyone."

Hope snickered. "Excellent." She then clamped something metal around my left foreleg. "Using this Pipbuck, contact me once you find them. I will send a location to the map on the device. We will be waiting, patiently, for your response. I've also set a timer. For my convenience, of course. If you fail to deliver before time is up, your friends will be vanquished." Her hoofsteps began walking away from me. "Oh! One more thing. If you try to evacuate the town, I will know. And you don't want to do that. I'll be watching you, my dear Sienna."

"Wait!" I coughed, again. "Where should... I start looking?"

"I'm sure the necklace will let you know." She said, coldly. I tried to get away as a cloth was tied around my face. The chemical was so overbearing. It filled my lungs, making me gasp for air and immediately pass out. She was a savage! A monster! Why was she doing this? 

My dreams were haunted by screams and explosions as Wick, Chaser, Nico, Fleece, and so many other ponies were buried by rubble. I tried to yell to them, but I couldn't speak. I was lying down, chained to the dirt, useless. Just as I was about to close my eyes, a blinding light appeared above me. A beam of blue magic shot towards the frightening scene before me, making it disappear. I gasped. My friends were okay! They were standing around, confused, but unharmed. I shed more tears of relief. I looked up to the light and smiled, thanking the mysterious aura. The light then became brighter and brighter. I had to close my eyes, it was so blinding. Before it became unbearable, I fell into darkness, then, I was on my back.

I didn't know how long I was out, but when I came to, my nervous system sent waves of pain throughout my body. It hurt to breathe, my head was pounding, and I ached everywhere else. My eyes fluttered open, weakly. Gaining focus, I noticed the sterile environment of a hospital room. A curtain hung over the window, so I couldn't tell if it was day or night. Some equipment stood next to the bed, beeping and monitoring my vitals.

One hundred and sixty years and it still worked? Wow.

I suddenly remembered Hope. Checking to make sure it wasn't all a dream, I lifted my hoof to see if the Pipbuck was really there. There it was. A frowning pony with it's upper torso highlighted, showing damage. I began to panic. My chest burned horribly as I gasped for air and coughed uncontrollably. I heard hoofsteps galloping through the hall and into my room. My ghoul friend rushed to the bedside. I was extremely happy to see her!

"Sienna! Are you okay?" Her horn ignited as she scanned my torso.

"N-no...Lungs burning!" I breathed, feeling the congestion. I was so hoarse I could barely get those words out.

"Hold on! It sounds like you have fluid build-up throughout your entire respiratory system. Stay with me!" She hurried to a tray and floated a healing potion and a pill broken in half. "This is a fluid pill. It'll get rid of the fluid in your lungs. It's all I had left until I can find more. This healing potion will hurry along the healing process." I choked down the pill and the potion all at once. After she helped me sit up, the burning finally dulled.

I put a hoof to my forehead. "How did I end up back here?"

Fleece rubbed my other hoof with her own, worriedly glancing at the Pipbuck. "I found you in front of the clinic almost ten hours ago. Somepony tied a rag to your face, drenched in chloroform. You had been breathing it in for quite some time, so you inhaled lethal doses. I had to magically purge your system several times. I-I thought... Nevermind. That doesn't matter, now. What matters is that you are safe. You're going to be okay. You may have a few coughing fits every now and then, but they shouldn't last longer than a minute."

"H-how long was I gone?" I dreaded the answer.

She paused. "Four days. Sia, do you remember anything at all? Where you were taken? What did they look like?"

I looked away from her. I couldn't tell her anything without risking her safety. "I... I don't remember anything. I was at the hotel, then... I woke up here."

She furrowed her brow. "That's so strange. They didn't take anything that belonged to you. In fact, this Pipbuck seems like it came from them." She sighed. "At least you're back here, safe and sound."

I wiped the tears forming in my eyes. "Where's Nico?"

"He was pretty worried about you. As soon as I told him you were here, he galloped to his house to get some of his things. He should be back in an hour at the least." She said. "Tomorrow, you should be well enough to go back hom- well, back to Nico's. For now, please rest. I'll be checking in. Just call if you need anything." She smiled as I nodded and laid back down. I felt the blanket pulling over me as she magically adjusted it. After she pulled off the monitors, she trotted out of the room. 

I rubbed my chest, almost bruising it. I glanced at the stupid technology on my leg, then looked away from it, not wanting to think about it. I forced my eyes closed. I just needed rest, that's all. I could think more clearly when I got some actual sleep that wasn't chemically induced. A few minutes passed, and my eyes popped open. This time, I wasn't in the clinic. I was in my own bedroom back home. I frantically looked around, only to find everything was just how I left it. My uniform even sat on my dresser, neatly. I scrambled over to my window to see the beautiful stars. They twinkled above me.

What the hell? Did I dream about the wasteland? Fleece... Nico... They weren't even real?!

"I'm afraid that was not the dream. Sadly, this is." A soft, motherly voice came from the opposite side of the room. A midnight blue alicorn stepped out of thin air. Her starry mane flowed around her crown. That was a dead giveaway. 

"P-Princess... Luna?" My eyes squeezed shut and opened again to make sure they were seeing right. When I figured out it was really her, I shambled off the bed and bowed before her. 

"Rise, my little pony. Please." She sounded uncomfortable. Even still, her voice could lull the toughest of stallions to sleep.

"Your highness, what's going on?" I asked, getting to my hooves.

Her concern showed through. "I know there is somepony who wants the rainbow pearls. It's of the utmost importance that they are destroyed before they get their hooves on them. I understand you have in possession a pendant that is connected to the pearls." She informed me.

I swallowed. I didn't know how she knew all that, but it was making me nervous. "The necklace? I-I was told it had some kind of connection."

She nodded. "That is because the emerald imprisons a part of my soul."

I stepped back, baffled. "Y-your... soul?"

"Yes. I extracted a small piece of me to be contained in the gem. I then enchanted the necklace, allowing only the first wearer to connect with me. I did this at first, hoping I could bring some kind of harmony back to Equestria with the power the pearls hold." Her pride faded. "Over the years, though, I came to the conclusion that it was a mistake. The pearls, they should not be allowed to exist any longer, lest the entire planet becomes worse than it already is."

I contemplated a moment to make sense of it all. I had so many questions. "But... why me? I'm sorry to ask, your majesty, but can't you do it personally? Alicorns... They are immortal, right? You... you should be able to fix all this? Are you imprisoned somewhere, physically? Asleep? Where are you?!" I stepped, nervously, towards her.

The princess winced and dipped her head, saddened. "Alas, when the zebra set off the megaspell in Canterlot..." She turned her back to me. "When the megaspell hit, my flesh slowly wasted away, trying to protect my subjects. There is nothing left of me but brittle bones somewhere in the castle, and a ghost in the gem around your neck."

I flattened my ears, guilt hitting me with the weight of ten mountains. "F-forgive me, Princess. Please, forgive me. I... I didn't know."

Luna faced me, again. "My dear, Sienna, you mustn't feel sympathy for me. I only ask that you help me with this soul's final task. If those pearls fall into the wrong hooves, Equestria will never be able to heal. There is no telling what would become of it." She placed a hoof on my shoulder. I thought of Hope and how she wanted them for herself.

I finally nodded. "Where would I even start?"

"I am sure there is something in Nico's attic. Call it a hunch." She smiled. "Sorry to make this visit short, but you will awaken soon. I will continue to visit as you need me. Most likely, in your dreams." She gestured to her elongated horn and winked.

Everything suddenly darkened around me as she faded from view.

"P-Princess! Wait!" I cried out to her disintegrating form. I had so many more questions, but I was only thrown into the black void, once more.

I let out a breath I must have been holding in my sleep. I slowly came back to reality (at least I think it was reality) as Fleece's clinic came into view around me. I spotted Nico, sleeping soundly on a small cot. Fleece must have brought it for him. I sighed in relief, happy to see the familiar buck. He turned over, his eyes flickering open. He yawned then saw I was awake. Jumping off the cot, he cantered to me.

"Sia? His eyes were tired.

I half-grinned. "At least you didn't call me 'princess'." 

He returned the smile. "Are you okay? I thought..." He snorted, now angry. "Who did this?"

I prevented my hoof from going to my collarbone. "I... don't know. I'm sorry." I lied.

"Fucking raiders, I bet." 

"I didn't know you cared." I said, trying to be funny.

"You've been gone for days! I feel like I failed to protect you. It's like I just... let you go." Shame crossed his features as he sat next to the bed. "Though, I'm not gonna lie. When I got back to the hotel room, I saw you were gone. I was a little mad because your things were gone, there was no sign of a struggle or break-in, and I saw nothing suspicious. I thought you just... left. I-I thought I at least deserved a goodbye." He looked me in the eyes. "I came here to talk to Fleece a few hours ago. I was shocked when she told me you were here and that... that you might not make it. I wasn't angry with you anymore, but at myself. I should have known something wasn't right. I should have known you wouldn't just leave." He paused. "Right?"

I smiled, shaking my head. "I wouldn't have left without saying goodbye. You didn't fail, though, Nico. I should have fought harder. I should have been aware of my surroundings. If anything, I failed as an Enclave officer. It... It upsets me that you have to go out of your way for me. I feel so useless." I wiped a tear from my eye and looked away. "I'm sorry."

He grabbed my hoof. "Don't apologize for things that aren't your fault!"

I didn't say anything.

He let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm just glad you're okay."

I sat up, more. "Why does it matter? Obviously, I can't take care of myself here. I'm better off dead. At least, I wouldn't be a burden to you or Fleece, anymore."

"Stop." He looked at the floor. "This situation is just all too familiar with me. Except, the first time, I got too close to her."

"What do you mean, 'first time'?"

He never looked at me. "Pepper. About two years ago, I saved her from a pack of feral ghouls. She decided to stick with me as she didn't really have anywhere else to go. After a few months, I... I started to develop feelings for her. She was so sweet and caring. It didn't matter how distant I acted, she always knew how to make me feel better." A coldness grew in his voice. "Some love that was."

I waited a few seconds before I spoke. "What happened to her?"

No answer.

"Nico?"

"She's with a pegasus, now. I kept wondering if I wasn't enough. What had I done to let her down? I let her go. There was a note and everything." He shook his head. "But, that doesn't matter. I'm over it. My mistake was thinking I could control who she loved." He forced a smile. "Sorry, I just... I don't know."

I avoided his gaze. It was probably best I kept my muzzle shut. At least that explains why he's an asshole towards me. Maybe, he just hated to be alone...

Like me.

After he sighed, again, he stood. "I managed to radio the nearest S.P.P tower."

My heart jumped. What?

"Somepony will be coming for you, soon." He looked at me.

"Why?" I hissed.

Confusion made him stammer. "Did you not... Didn't you want to go home? They can take care of you. Better than I can."

I began breathing heavily. He doesn't know... He couldn't know. I have to do something!

"Sienna?" He stepped closer.

I stopped him from coming any closer by pushing him back. Before he could object to my outburst, I jumped off the bed and galloped towards the exit. I passed Fleece on the way out, ignoring her calls. My vision was darkening around the edges and my chest felt as though it would collapse. I didn't care though. I was angry. I was upset. Hurt. Betrayed. He could have asked me, first. From then on, I decided I didn't need any help. I grit my teeth and ran as fast as I could past the sign. I had to slow down to a canter a few times so I wouldn't pass out, but I continued the rest of the way to Nico's house. There were a few ponies I passed who stopped to stare. The muscles in my legs began to lock up. Through tears, I could finally see the house getting closer. I ran faster.

I burst through the door, barely making it to the stairs before my legs gave out. I knelt on the floor, gasping. With each strenuous breath, my chest rattled. My hoof tried to get under me, but it was like trying to stand with a Raptor on my back. I gave in and just rested my head on the floor. The attic would have to wait. I swore under my breath. I wished I could fly. It doesn't take as much energy to fly as it does to run. I coughed several times before I finally forced myself to take slow deep breaths. The panic attack was building, for sure.

The front door suddenly flew open and Nico galloped inside, stopping next to me. "What the hell were you thinking?!" He held my head off the ground, checking me over. "Are you okay?"

I sat up, trying to stand, again. He helped me to my hooves, only to catch me as I stumbled.

"Sia, what are you doing? Tell me why you did that!" He demanded.

I ignored him.

"Tell me!" He stepped in front of me. "Please."

I stopped moving and glared at him with tears in my eyes. He softened his voice. "I'm begging you, tell me what's going on."

"I'm trying to protect you!" I finally exclaimed.

Nico stared at me. "Protect me?"

"Hope. She... she said if I didn't get the pearls she would destroy Floater and Fleece a-and... you! But Princess Luna told me they needed to be destroyed but I-I don't... I don't know what to do!" When I started hyperventilating, I began to cry.

"Wait, it's okay. Just take a deep breath and get it together. What is going on?" He held my shoulders, waiting for me to regain my composure.

I eventually managed to get it right, explaining the situation and every detail. He listened, intently.

"I-I don't know what to say. We have to evacuate the town." He turned to walk out the door, but I blocked him.

"No! You don't understand! She will know! She's watching everything! Please, don't tell anypony!" I cried, covering my face with a foreleg. "Please... I can't lose you guys, too." 

"You can't possibly do this, alone." He said. I thought he was going to push me out of the way.

"I have to try!"

"You just can't, Sia! I'm not saying you are weak, but even for me, this is a dangerous game." He thought a moment. "I'm going to help you."

"No. This is my responsibility. I won't drag you into it." I argued.

Nico grabbed my shoulders, again. "I'm going with you. You don't have a choice."

For a while, we stared at each other, until I fell into him, sobbing. I didn't know what else to do, really. Truthfully, I didn't really care at this point. They were all I had. I really wanted to cry to Fleece. Nico was comforting enough, but Fleece would know exactly what to say. No matter. My heart was aching for them. I could finally at least try to pay them back for saving my life. I wrapped my hooves around his neck. "I'm so sorry." I wept. "I'm sorry."

I felt his forelegs around me as he held me. "I'm sorry, too."

For a while, we held each other. It felt nice. I promised myself to protect them. I swore I wouldn't let the wasteland take away anymore of my friends. I pulled away, my hooves still around him. He looked at me with soft, determined eyes. Everything was going to be okay. I was no longer alone. I smiled as a handkerchief floated over and wiped my eyes.

"Better?" He asked.

I nodded, letting go of him. It probably would have been awkward. "How did you get in touch with Thunderhead, anyway? I couldn't imagine they were very friendly about that conversation."

"The casino has a radio in the security room. I talked the owner into letting me use it. It did take me a while to convince them I was one of the good guys, but they mentioned sending one of their best." He said.

I sighed. "That means they will show up locked and loaded. It doesn't matter. I have no choice but to stay. I absolutely cannot let Hope..." I sniffed, unable to finish that sentence.

"It'll be alright. We will figure something out." He assured. "Do you want to go back to the clinic? You don't look so good." 

I felt my collar with a hoof. "I'll be okay. Fleece said I just needed rest. I need to get to the attic."

He cocked his head. "The attic? Why in Equestria would you need to go in my attic?"

"The princess said there would be something up there to tell me where to start looking for the pearls." I blushed, realizing how crazy I sounded.

He looked at me flatly. "Oookayyy... Well, we can look in the morning. For now, your health comes first." He stood in front of me and crouched, examining me. "You look pale."

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. "Yes, my coat is white. I was pale to begin with."

He smirked. "Anyway, I don't see any injuries. You just had to run, didn't you? I can hear you breathing heavily. Your lungs are probably under a lot of stress from that."

"You sound like my grandmother."

"I'm just trying to keep you from hurting yourself." He poked my shoulder.

I shot him a glare. He poked me again and jumped back, swishing his tail. He motioned for me to chase him, but I refused. Just as I turned to go upstairs, he poked my flank. I covered it with my tail and blushed, furiously. "S-stop that! You are being childish!" I turned red.

"You are being boring." He countered. The nerve!

Playing along, I charged after him. The buck jumped again as I was about to catch him. Turning, I bounded after him again, but he dodged that, too. Facing the door, I sat on my haunches and stuck my nose up. I heard him cautiously step closer. When he was near, I twisted and tackled him. We rolled to a stop with me pinning him to the floor. I tried to hide the fact that I was out of breath.

"Gotcha!" I gloated.

After we shared a laugh, he stopped and stared up at me. I gazed down, still panting. His smile was sweet as he reached up and moved a strand of mane from my eyes. He was... handsome. I blushed, fiercely. I felt like we were about to break every rule I ever believed in. My lips curved into a grin, though. My heart pounded as I realized we were inching closer to each other. I stopped, though, and backed off of him. "S-sorry. I..." The heat on my cheeks burned.

He sat up, blushing, too."I, er... I'm also sorry. I shouldn't..."

"No! I-it was my fault..."

We chuckled at our attempt to speak at the same time. Finally, I broke the tension. "I don't know what just happened."

"I think I do." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

I suddenly felt lightheaded. My vision became blurry as I swayed on my hooves. Warmth quickly covered me as Nico sat in front of me, letting me lean on his chest. The beating of his heart filled my ears. It beat a little faster after I relaxed and closed my eyes, letting out a sigh. I felt so strange, having his fur on my cheek. I felt like I was flying. He smelled... so good. 

"Are you okay?" He whispered. A shiver went down my spine at his voice.

Whew. I am going to need a stiff drink after this awkward setting.

"Yes." I exhaled. "Thank you." I didn't mention the fact that I wanted to stay there for a few more hours. His chin rested on my forehead, gently. The dizziness went away, but he didn't have to know!

A few minutes later, he picked his head up and cleared his throat. "We'd better get to bed. It's starting to get dark and we should probably get an early start.

"Hmm." I groaned.

"Are you able to walk?" He asked.

I nodded, dragging my hooves under me and standing. I yawned. "I guess I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night, princess." He smirked.

I smiled back and turned to walk up the stairs. Being a little too relaxed, I stumbled a little.

Nico caught me, placing my good wing around him. "Whoa! I thought you said you could walk?"

I grinned, sheepishly. "I'm just tired."

He shook his head. "Come on, I'll help you to bed."

We walked up the stairs and into the bedroom. He helped me climb onto the mattress and lie down. I felt his eyes on me, so I looked up to see him staring. "I'm sorry about all that. Can... can we just forget that happened? I don't know what to think..." I hid my face.

"I'm the one who overstepped my boundaries. For that, I apologize. I don't know what I was thinking. Not knowing how to have a roommate and all."  He quickly backed towards the door. "I'm sorry, Sia. I'm gonna get some sleep. You should do the same."

"You don't have to be sorry!" I yelled as he closed the door. I facehoofed. "I am an idiot." My chest, yet again, began to tighten. Why was I like this? Why? One of my only friends in this hell, and I didn't know how to act. I couldn't help it, though. I felt so safe next to him. A mix of shame and comfort came to me whenever I thought about those few minutes. The embrace of a stallion was unfamiliar territory. Stallions never interested me in that way. Not even Chaser. He was also good looking, but I was more his wingpony than anything when we had outings. 

I shook my head. "I'm just losing it. I've been down here too long and now I can't get my head together." Falling back onto the pillow, I threw the blanket over my head in embarrassment. "No more nonsense." I snorted. Trying to go to sleep was more difficult than I thought. Every time I closed my eyes, I would think about my awkward experience.

After a while of tossing and turning, I finally fell asleep. Princess Luna never came back to me in my sleep, so I assumed she had nothing important to say. I wondered how crazy Nico thought I was when I told him I was wearing jewelry that had part of her soul and that she spoke to me in my dreams. The worst part was that I couldn't prove it. Yep. Crazy.

The next morning, a soft knock sounded from the bedroom door. "Sia? Are you awake?"

"I am now." I groaned.

He twisted the knob and peeked his head in. "Good. We need to get a move on. I'll pack a few basic supplies."

"Lovely." I barely got the word out before a loud bang sent me catapulting out of bed. "What was that?!"

"I don't know, but they are about to break down my door." Nico headed towards the stairs with me closely following behind.

Swallowing a lump in my throat, I wondered if it was Hope, again. Or raiders. Also, slavers. I had been making more enemies than friends, lately. We reached the living room and he opened the door. I stayed hidden behind him, just in case it was somepony looking for a fight. He stepped back, defensively. "Who the hell are you?"

Did my ears deceive me? That sounded like the hum of energy rifles powering up. Curious, I peeked from behind Nico.

My eyes widened. "Oh, ponyfeathers."





Systems Online
Checking... Subject Identified
Stats Online
Welcome, Sienna!

Level up!
S- 2
P- 3
E- 3
C- 2 (+1)
I- 4 (+1[perk])
A- 3
L- 0

New Perk!
Smartass - After befriending Nico, your Intelligence permanently gets +1.