//------------------------------// // Chapter 13 // Story: The Things He Carried // by Makerofthebuttswagger //------------------------------// Trees passed by in a haze of green as the car passed over the Indiana landscape Toby had known so well. His father hadn't said a word after he had began the drive home after picking his son up from the airport in Indianapolis. Toby watched the shrubs and trees shoot past with a sour feeling in the pit of his stomach. His mind constantly replayed the only bitter words his father had said when they saw each other. "Get in the car," the man had growled, gesturing angrily towards the old pickup with a gnarled thumb. Since then, the only interaction the two had between each other were the occasional nasty looks he had received from the driver's side. It was clear to Toby that his father was unhappy, but it was a strange thing to behold - his father wasn't an unhappy man. He was proud of his son in everything he had accomplished, even proud when Toby had been forcibly drafted by the army. The fact that his father had been acting like this from the moment he saw his son, despite having not seen him for two years, came as a seriously unsettling thought. They had been driving for the past hour and a half, and neither of them said a word to the other. It was nearly torture, being treated like this by a man he had loved with his first conscious thought, without knowing the reason. Toby's foot gave a dull throb, and a thought snuck into his head, confirming one of his worst fears... he had disappointed his father. He knew, somehow - perhaps someone in the military told him of his injury, the injury that sent him home? "So... I suppose you'll need a place to stay, will you?" his father growled, making him jump. "Er - yeah..." Toby murmured quietly in reply. His father grunted grumpily in reply. "After all these years, I never... if it weren't for your damned mother being so stubborn about you..." "Father, what -?" "QUIET, BOY!!!" his father bellowed, pounding the steering wheel. The truck lurched, causing the car behind them to honk angrily. Toby stared at his father, feeling a creeping feeling of despair in his chest. He studied the line on the old man's face, and how deeply they were carved with the enraged expression on his face. Had he only been a trophy to his father, after all these years? Were all those whisperings of how much the man loved him utter lies...? A blunt force stuck Toby on the head, making him jump out of his slumber. Pacificae sat to his immediate right, staring at him intensely. After a moment, he realized that the blunt force had been her paw, and he rubbed his face angrily. His hands were suddenly wet, and he quickly examined them. Had he been... crying? Pacificae gave his side a nudge and squeaked. "What -? No! I was taking a nap!!" Toby snorted indignantly. His furry friend raised an eyebrow and squawked at him. "What are you talking about? I'm fine!" Toby grumbled, getting to his feet. "Don't give me this 'you're acting depressed' crap - you know I'm a reserved person, Peace." He sighed and looked around the clearing in which he was building his soon-to-be home. It had been a full week since Hearth's Warming, and the end of the holiday couldn't have come soon enough. He and Pacificae had managed to lay a stone foundation using large stones and boulders in the surrounding area. Then, they had managed to create a cementing paste from mud, a bit of glue from the hardware shop, and Pacificae's saliva (it was kind of gross, but worked super well for some reason). By applying it in between the boulders and stones, they had built up a solid, immovable foundation. Throughout all that work, Toby had lots of time to reflect and ponder about He had really sugarcoated his words back at Twilight's place during his holiday stay. He had appreciated the out-of-the-blue hospitality he had received, but he still wasn't ready to immerse himself among ponykind just yet. He also needed a lot of time to process it all - especially when it came to Luna (thank you, solitude!). How had the lunar princess gone from meathead to marshmallow all of a sudden? ... Oh yeah. They thought he had died. Now that he had considered that, it made a bit more sense. She obviously had felt guilty about being an absolute jackass to him, and wanted to make things right. What didn't make sense was that she claimed to love him - that was what bothered him. He could have sworn that she hated him with every living cell in her being, and yet she claimed it was a cover-up. That wasn't how love worked, or at least to his knowledge. If you wanted to hide the fact that you loved someone from that person of interest, than it was illogical to act as if they were scum on the bottom of your foot. Then again, he only had a vague knowledge of human psychology... pony psych could be vastly different for all he knew. Besides, the last time he had loved... just the thought of it made him strike the ground with his hands out of angry impulse. The day after the Hearth's Warming holiday, Toby had left. Thankfully, he was able to manage doing so under Twilight's radar, and she hadn't noticed him sneaking off until that evening. It didn't take her long to track him down, since he had returned to his makeshift construction site. Every now and then the scene would replay over in his head... He and Pacificae had almost been done with the first layer of stones in the foundation when an irate voice pierced across the woods. "TOBY!!!" the voice of Twilight shrieked, making him jump. Swearing under his breath, he hoisted himself out of the pit and found himself face to face with a very angry, very purple alicorn. "Hey, princess," Toby said airily, but Twilight scrunched up her nose. "Don't you 'hey princess' me," she snarled. "You just freakin' left!! Without saying anything!" "I had my reasons," Toby replied nonchalantly, leaning up against one of the supports to his future home. Twilight huffed and stomped a hoof, clearly to intimidate him. Why she would try was beyond him, and the fact that she only came up to the bottom of his ribcage didn't help. It was kind of cute in a childish way. "We're going back," Twilight grumbled, and turned to leave. Toby stayed put. "No," he replied firmly. "I'm building my home." Twilight looked stricken, as if she hadn't expected this reply. She then regained her composure and glared at him. "You don't have a choice. You'll freeze out here." "Don't I?" Toby replied, raising his eyebrows. "I was under the impression that you good friend Rapity -" "Rarity," Twilight huffed. "Yeah, that's the one," Toby agreed with a nod. "She made me this awesome coat as a Hearth's Warming Gift - despite only meeting me the day of. It's kept me more than warm, I assure you." "That's really - that's not - so??" Twilight sputtered. "Long story short, I don't really need any more charity from ponies," Toby replied, stroking his fuzzy chin. Doing so, he paused. He really needed to shave. Twilight shook her head. "It's not charity, Toby," she countered. "What's gotten into you??" Toby turned and gave her a reproachful look. "Seriously? After all I've been through when it comes to treatment from you ponies? Do you you really think I'd be all puppies and rainbows after that?" Twilight's eyes shrunk as she began to understand what he was saying. "You - but - you said that you forgave us... you lied?" "Well, what was I supposed to do? Ruin your guys' holiday?" Toby quipped. "I don't sink that low - and yes, I know that I've already done so by lying to your face - but I haven't forgotten how you all treated me back at the castle..." "What about Fluttershy and I?" Twilight asked as her ears drooped down. "Do you... hate us as well?" "Wha - no!" Toby groaned, smacking a hand to his forehead in exasperation. "I never said anything about - ugh - listen, even though I haven't forgiven some of your friends, it doesn't mean that I hate them." Twilight cocked an eyebrow. "Are you prejudiced against all of ponykind because of a couple flaws in our leaders?" Toby snarled and narrowed his eyes. "A couple flaws? It takes more than a couple flaws to make someone beat feet out of your city in the way I did. What your princesses were back there to me? Nasty. Especially Luna! And now - all of a sudden everyone wants to be all buddy-buddy! All I have to say to that is thanks, no thanks." "But they know how they treated you - and more importantly, they are extremely, genuinely regretting the decisions they made!!" Twilight cried in protest. "All they're asking for is some forgiveness -" "And what happens when I do genuinely forgive them?" Toby countered. "Will everything be forgotten? No ma'am, I can't accept that. See, I don't forget things. There have been crimes I committed that not only will linger in my memory until my dying days, but would make your guts go stone cold if you knew about them..." As he faltered off, Twilight noticed something in the man's eyes that made her visibly cringe - they were empty; the look he had was more hollow than anything she had seen. The look of someone who had nearly hit rock bottom, but wouldn't even try to claw their way back. "Toby..." Twilight pleaded. "Let us help - if not them, then at least let me!" Toby froze, then looked at the ground. "I couldn't tear you away from your friends... nor your royal responsibilities..." "Be that as it may, ever heard of teleportation??" Twilight replied stubbornly. "I will visit you every day if I have to. I will do anything I can to help you heal, Toby, and I mean it." Toby remained silent for a moment, feeling half touched and half annoyed by the alicorn's persistence. Finally, he groaned. "Fine - but if I start to get in the way of your duties as princess -" "I can enlist Fluttershy to help, if you like," Twilight interrupted. Toby looked around at Twilight's stubborn expression, and his own softened. Of course - how could he have forgotten about that small, incredibly kind pegasus? He remembered the day when he had been interrogated by her - but was it really an interrogation on that day? He remembered how scared she had seemed at the beginning, but when she had given him that strange stare, as if she could see into his very soul? She immediately went from her meager demeanor to that of a motherly one. She seemed to understand the scope of his struggles... "Yeah, that would be cool..." Toby murmured. "She was nice. I liked her." Twilight beamed. "You wouldn't believe how ecstatic she was when she was told that you were alive - she would be more than happy to help you. You could meet my other friends, too, if you feel like it!" Toby was taken aback. "Your other friends? Twilight, you have a bazillion, give or take a couple thousand." "Har har," Twilight scoffed. "I was talking about my main friends. You haven't met Applejack or Pinkie Pie. Rarity would be pleased to get to know you more as well, too - after all, they would have questioned you had you not tried to - you know." She gulped and stared at the ground. A pang of guilt shot down Toby's spine, and before he knew what he was doing he had knelt down and wrapped Twilight up in a massive hug. She gave a startled squeak, but then returned the gesture tightly. "I swear I'll never try that again," Toby said softly. "Back in my world, suicide is on of the most selfish acts one can commit." They released one another, and Twilight gave him a curious, watery look. "S-Suicide? What does that mean?" Toby sighed. "Suicide is a word that roughly translates to 'self-kill'." "Oh," Twilight said quietly, than looked back up to Toby with a faint interest. "You should really tell me more about your world. It sounds super interesting." Toby chuckled and stood up. "Someday. For the time being, I'm gonna work on my house." "If you're not coming back to the castle, where are you going to sleep?" Twilight asked with a pleading look. Toby shrugged. "Here, I guess. Pacificae's body temperature stays constant because of magic something-or-other. She'll keep me safe." Twilight looked over at the jackalope, who blinked at her peacefully. Giggling, Twilight nodded. "Alright... just stay safe," she sighed. "I'll tell everyone else back at the castle about - everything." "And tell them I don't feel like being bothered," Toby added. "No loopholes, princess." Twilight stuck out her tongue. "Will you at least meet my friends? Rarity's making you some clothes, similar to the ones you wore when you were found. You can't go running around in that blanket all the time and expect to stay warm." Toby had forgot about that, but just shrugged. He could use some actual pants for once. "As far as your friends go, if they wanna help me with the house, sure. I'm still not in the mood for pony interactions, but..." Toby shrugged. "It's whatever. As long as they don't get in the way, bug me, or annoy me to hell and back, I guess I don't mind." Twilight smiled, then turned to leave. "Whatever you say. Am I still allowed to visit you?" Toby shrugged. "I mean, you haven't done anything. You're more than welcome here, given you don't try to force me to do anything I don't want to." "You have to get out of your comfort zone sometimes, Toby," Twilight sighed, making her way down the hill. "Funny you mention that, since I seem to be at the polar opposite of comfort nowadays!!" he called after the alicorn, but she made no sign of hearing him. Huffing, he turned to Pacificae. "C'mon, buddy, let's get back to work... I wanna get the walls up before I lose the nails..." Since, he and his furry little friend had managed to lay the foundation. As it turns out, a proper foundation made of numerous stones requires painstaking placement, which took what felt like a millennium. Fortunately, he had Pacificae to help him, so it all went quicker. Especially with the small boulders they found here and there - she was able to push them like they were balloons. That had been three days ago - since, the two of them had managed to build up two layers of the wall all the way around. Nails worked okay for the ends of each log to attach it to the frame, but Toby found that the same makeshift cementing that was used for the foundation could be applied to the logs to keep them together. Unfortunately, this proved to be difficult, since the stuff would freeze up. Therefore, Pacificae had to use her body temperature to keep the paste from stiffening so it was still useful. As it turns out, jackalopes were marsupials, so there was a handy-dandy pouch where the paste could be stored. Toby rubbed his eyes and pushed himself to his feet. Pacificae eyed him suspiciously as he did this, clearly not believing his lie. Wiping off his damp cheeks with the sleeve of his coat, he looked up at his progress. At this rate, his house would be finished within the month, but things would definitely go slower as they had to build higher up. "Well... you ready to work, Peace?" he asked his jackalope, and she nodded. Grabbing his hatchet from its resting place against a tree on the edge of the clearing, the two of them made their way through the forest to look for a suitable tree. Pacificae determined this by sniffing at the bases of the trees. If they were beetle-infested or brittle, she would know. It wasn't long before they found one, and that's where Toby came in. Clutching the handle of his hatchet smartly, he scratched out a mark at which he would cut the tree. He raised the tool behind his head and began his work, slowly ebbing away at the sturdy trunk. The longer he did this, the more accurate he became. Figures, he thought to himself as he paused to catch his breath after the ninth swing. Practice really does make perfect. Ten minutes later, a loud cracking resonated through the woods as the tree plummeted to the forest floor. As soon as it had settled, Toby and Pacificae began removing branches and twigs, so that it would become an official log. After this had been finished, the two of them hoisted it from both ends (Toby held the lighter end) and slowly made their way back to the construction zone. When they had arrived, the two of them placed the log on top of the others, resting it against the frame. Toby then turned to Pacificae. "Paste," he grunted. Pacificae reached in her pouch and pulled the container out with her teeth, then gave it to Toby. Picking up a thick brush (Hearth's Warming gift, courtesy of Star-Bright or whatever the hell her name was), he began applying the stuff as quick as he could. The two of them then held the log in place as the cementing paste set. When that had been completed, Toby hacked off the excess lumber on either end of the log and hammered the ends into the frame, for extra stability. The nails were short, but he discovered that it still worked if you applied them to the ends of the log at an angle. The two friends then took a short break, admiring their work. They were getting better at this. Unfortunately, this process would have to be repeated for a long time before the walls were complete. Sighing, Toby slumped down against the nearest tree. "Well, I'll be - you look plumb-tuckered out there, fella!" Toby gave a start and whirled around to discover the source of the voice. At the edge of the clearing stood a bright orange mare with a stetson on her head. Her blonde mane and tail were both held together by hairbands at the ends. "Er..." Toby said warily. "Sorry - didn't mean to scare ya," the mare said in a thick southern accent. "Twilight told me ya'd be up in this here area, and Ah thought I'd meet ya." "Sorry, didn't catch your name," Toby said tersely, getting to his feet. "Applejack," she said, eyeing him with a sudden curiosity. "Ah hope I'm not imposin' or anything." Toby relaxed a little. "Twilight mentioned you - you were one of the friends that was going to question me, weren't you?" Applejack nodded slowly. "Ah didn't really want to, ta be honest. Keepin' an intelligent critter such as yourself behind bars seemed pretty darn unnecessary. Ah knew you'd be nothin' harmful after Fluttershy told us about her interview." Toby felt a genuine smile stretch across his face. "Thanks... that means a lot, Applejack." Something that Toby never really told others was that he was really good at seeing when someone was lying to him. He could tell by just looking at them - when someone was lying, they had a game-y look on their face. Only the most adept poker players could lie to him and get away with it. The country-style mare in front of him was definitely not lying - she gave off a vibe that he could trust, similar to Twilight. "Well, of course - Ah can't say I've ever seen anything like ya before, though," Applejack replied with a friendly curiosity. "What do ya call yerself?" "I'm a human," Toby answered, picking up his hatchet. "Or homo sapiens in the language of intelligent people -" "Old ponish?" Applejack guessed. Toby blinked. "What? No - Latin. I named Pacificae here using the Latin language," he replied, gesturing to his fuzzy pal, who had watched the whole thing unfold calmly. "Well, I'll be..." Applejack muttered in awe, looking at Pacificae. "A real jackalope... and here Ah was thinkin' they were a myth..." "She sort of started following me, so now we're buddies," Toby said quietly. The two watched as Pacificae licked her paw and rubbed it over her face to remove dirt, in the same way a cat would. After a moment, Toby cleared his throat and rested the hatchet on his shoulder. "Well... I should probably continue work on this," Toby grunted, interrupting the silence. "This needs to get done so I don't have to sleep under the stars." "Whoa - now hold on," Applejack said, taking a step back. "Ya can't just sleep under the stars!" "I can, and I will," Toby replied stubbornly. "I've already turned Twilight down, so don't even offer." "Alright, alright," Applejack said calmly, raising a hoof. "If ya don't wanna take mah offer, that's perfectly fine. Ya have the right to your own decisions." "Thanks, man," Toby said tiredly. "Also - not to be rude or anything, but can I get back to building my house?" To his surprise, Applejack smirked. "Ah figured ya'd say that. Twilight said you wouldn't be deterred." She turned around and hollered down the hill, "Big Macintosh! Hurry and get your flank up here!!" Seconds later, a very large, red stallion appeared next to Applejack. He looked very calm, but also like he could blow your house to splinters with a fart if he wanted to. "Toby, this is mah brother, Big Mac," Applejack explained, gesturing to the buff stallion. "H'lo," Big Mac replied. Definitely the strong and silent type. "Anyway, we'd like to help ya out with your project here," Applejack said proudly. Toby's eyes lit up. "Are you serious?" "Eeyup," Big Mac replied. "So what can we get started for ya?" Applejack asked brightly. Still a bit shocked from the sudden help he had received, Toby looked around for anything that might have needed to be done before the walls. Finding nothing, he turned back to the two siblings. "Alright... erm... let's go find a good log, I guess."