//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 // Story: I am Not Your King! // by Black Butterfly //------------------------------// The conversations he’d had with Twilight and Ocellus lingered with Thorax throughout his trip back to the hive and the session with the singing group. It didn’t help that the singers now also called him ‘King’ and tried to make a carol out of singing his praises. He decided to give the group a little break and took a walk the long way through the tunnels to give himself time to clear his head. His slow trot was interrupted when a familiar changeling suddenly shot out of one of the junctions. Thorax raised his hooves to shield himself, but Aellyth managed to stop just inches away from him. “Aaah! King Thorax!”  “Just Thorax is fine,” he said, taking a step back to give Aellyth—and himself—some room to breathe. Aellyth landed and nodded her head in understanding, "I'm sorry," she apologized before she jumped and flailed her hooves about excited again. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, tho'!" "You have?" "It’s a disaster! Juneville has turned evil again! She’s all black and she hissed at me and—” “Hold on a second." Thorax interrupted, putting his hoof to the other changeling's muzzle to silence her.  "Can you slow down a little? You do mean Juneville or are you talking about Pelipa? And what exactly do you mean by ‘turn evil’?” Aellyth buzzed herself out from under his hoof and then around him to push at him from behind. “I mean that she looks like she did before you defeated our evil Queen. Look for yourself!”  Thorax let himself be pushed forward several inches before he finally relented and walked down the tunnel that supposedly lead to the ‘evil’ troublemaker.  “Did she say why she changed back?” Thorax now hurried to keep up with Aellyth when she buzzed by him. At his question, Aellyth stopped and tilted her head a little. “Umm... not really, but when we started telling her how she should talk to you and reconsider she hissed at me! So I went to find you while the others made sure she didn’t get away!”  “The others...?”  His question was answered a few seconds later when they arrived at the cafeteria of the hive. It was one of the larger caverns located in the part of the hive that still had a ceiling, and was filled with stone-chiseled tables and benches. In the corner a group of five colorful changelings surrounded a black and holed changeling.  “Every-ling, I’ve found King Thorax!” Aellyth announced with a proud grin, causing the entire group to turn around.  “About time, Aellyth. She won’t talk, and we’ve tried everything!” Informed one of the five captors. The now black Juneville clenched her jaw and then huffed. “I am talking! You won’t listen to me!”  Having heard enough for now, Thorax lifted a hoof. “Alright. I see what is going on,” he sighed and walked into the scene. The other changelings made way for him to talk to Juneville who immediately bowed low as he approached. “King Thorax, I didn’t mean to cause any trouble!" “I know that.” Thorax nodded understandingly while he ignored the title, there was no point in correcting every single changeling at this point. “Just tell me what happened to make you feel like reverting back to your old self. You can talk about anything with me.” Offering a smile he sat down in front of her. “Okay?” At first, Juneville fiddled nervously with her hooves before Thorax’s smile relaxed her. “Remember when I told you that I can’t really choose a color? Whenever I feel comfortable with one, another changeling copies me. Like lately, they started to mix me up with Pelipa! And our colors weren’t even the same! So I decided to choose a form no other ‘ling would use. At least not anymore.” She crawled up closer to Thorax and looked at him with pleading eyes. “I am not evil! But the moment the others saw me like this, they got upset with me! So I got upset with them! It’s just how I chose to look like! We all used to look like this!” “I see,” said Thorax and sighed again. The best solution seemed obvious: Juneville had to pick some other form of appearance and then the other changelings would stop suspecting her of 'going darkside' again.  “How about you pick any other color than this? Think back to when Pharynx refused to change. At this point simply looking like we did before gives the impression of you not wanting to fit in with the others. And wouldn’t you rather have a personalized, unique appearance like everyone else?” Right after he had said that, a strange, déjà vu like feeling overcame Thorax. ‘What am I saying? Unique like everyone else? That sounds kinda wrong. So, why did it feel like a good idea a moment ago?’ Thorax wondered silently. A glance around showed the other changelings smiling, looking fond of his suggestion. All except for Juneville who frowned. ’Mother used to do the same. She would remind us to follow the rules, and not to be different from the other changelings because if a single changeling stepped out of line it would affect the entire hive. Maybe she wasn’t entirely wrong, but that doesn’t mean I have to solve problems her way.’  “But... “ Juneville began, trying to justify her decision. “I am unique like this! There are only so many colors to choose from. I promise I won’t hiss again, King Thorax.” Thorax snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the word ‘King’ yet again. “You’re right. It wouldn’t be fair if I forced you to do what every other ‘ling does,” he admitted, unable to keep up his smile at this point. “I’m so sorry, Juneville. You can stay like this if it makes you feel better. But you gotta understand that it might scare the others. Maybe we should address it on the groups you’re in to make sure no one starts to worry.” Juneville’s face lit up in a smile and she jumped up to wrap her hooves around Thorax’s neck in a tight hug. “Thank you so much! I’ll bring it up in my groups! Is it okay if I say that you approve of it?” “Err...sure.” Thorax replied, reaching a hoof try and pry off the enthusiastic, nearly strangling hooves. Aellyth stepped beside Thorax and looked up to him. “You’re saying it doesn’t matter that she looks like the changelings the ponies are scared of?”  After a gentle squeeze and a careful push to free himself from the embrace, Thorax turned to Aellyth and shook his head. “It really doesn’t. She’ll have to expect some negative reactions from some creatures, I guess. Our old look was a little intimidating, but if she can deal with it I see no problem with it.  “And this is why I think you should be our King! I never thought I’d see it that way! I’ve been judging Juneville without even listening to her reason why,” Aellyth admitted with a big smile before she turned to Juneville. “I’m sorry, Juneville.” “It’s alright. Thank you for getting King Thorax instead of calling for Pharynx. I’m sure he would have reacted differently.” Thorax upon hearing this, tilted his head in curiosity. “Wait, why didn’t you get Pharynx? He‘s responsible for the hive security after all! Shouldn’t he be here around this time anyway?” he asked, causing a bit of a mumbling among the five changelings that had been observing the scene. Aellyth’s smile turned sheepish. “He’s kinda rude sometimes… I’d rather talk to you.”  “He is rude, but he loves our hive more than anything else. You can trust him and I’m sure he would have handled this fine. Next time you feel like there’s a threat to the hive, seek him out. Unless you see me first, of course.” Aellyth’s ears drooped. “Understood, King Thorax.” “And please, stop calling me King until I actually am your king!” Thorax added in mild annoyance. The drooping ears perked right back up and Aellyth grinned. “Does that mean you will become our King for real!?” “I think so. But if you’d excuse me now. I actually wanted to talk to Pharynx about this. The King Thorax thing, not this incident, I mean. Can anyone tell me where he is?” Thorax asked.   A changeling in orange chitin raised her hoof. “Oh! I think I saw him not too long ago. He was heading for the library with his lunch.” Thorax blinked. “The library? You mean the destroyed library?” “Nah, the new one on this floor,” the orange-ling replied. She crossed her hooves and furrowed her brows. “It’s strange, I’ve been here for most of the day giving out meals but he hasn’t been to the cafeteria. Maybe he’s secretly cooking his food in the library?” “Pharynx… cooking?” Thorax shook his head; he’ll just ask Pharynx himself. “Anyway, thank you.”  As Thorax came closer to the cavern that was supposed to become the new hive library, he could hear what he assumed was Pharynx digging through clutter and trinkets. A peek around the corner into the dimly lit room confirmed his suspicion. “Pharynx, what are you looking for?”  Pharynx was headfirst in a large, wooden crate. At hearing Thorax’s voice, his wings buzzed to lift himself out of the box. A green hoofkerchief with little, black hearts on it dangled from one of his antlers.  “What are you doing here?” Pharynx demanded as he walked from the box to where a bowl was set up next to a rolled up carpet. He sat on the impromptu cushion and spooned pale mush into his mouth. “I’m on my lunch break, thought I’d see what the others have managed to save from the ruins.” For a moment, Thorax debated internally about telling him about the hoofkerchief.  “You… got something stuck there,” Thorax said finally.  “Er?” Using his magic Pharynx removed the piece of cloth. “What’s this?” He didn’t wait for an answer and just tossed it back into the crate. “Anyway, I’m here because I wanted to talk to you,” Thorax finally started while making himself comfortable on the carpet roll next to his brother.  “Hmm? Don’t tell me it’s about the King thing,” Pharynx guessed before he continued to stuff his maw with the mushy food.  Thorax noticed an odd smell when his brother talked and took a closer look at the bowl. “Yeah it is, actually—what are you eating?” Pharynx shoveled another spoonful into his mouth and then made sure to clean the bowl with his tongue before he responded. “Mmaffed potatof I ffink.” That was… strange, Thorax had trouble remembering when they last served mashed potatoes, if he wasn’t misunderstanding his brother.  “Mashed potatoes? I think we haven’t had them in over a week. Actually, we’re out of potatoes and have been since last Tuesday!” “Tuefday, yep.” Pharynx confirmed, then swallowed. “Ah. I prefer it when it’s a few days older. It’s sour and good.” “It’s rancid, Pharynx!” Thorax exclaimed. “You can’t eat that!” “I’ve done it this way for months. Don’t tell me what to eat. It was your idea to eat pony food so I’m choosing mine.” Thorax struggled to argue with it. Their new diet was mostly inspired by what ponies ate, but if rancid food didn’t make Pharynx sick perhaps it was different for changelings? Could changelings eat things ponies would get sick from? Something to investigate but not his main concern at the moment. “Well, the reason I’m here is because I want to know your opinion.” “You want to know if I think you would be a good King? Nah, not like this. You really need to toughen up. Maybe the pressure and a title would make you tougher. So, I say sure go for it. I don’t care. It’s just a title.” “Huh.” Thorax blinked as he watched Pharynx put his bowl down and return back to the box. “I never thought you’d be okay with me being the King.” Pharynx looked at Thorax over his shoulder and shrugged. “If you are scared of the title you are probably better off passing it to someone else but if you think you can lead us and have what it takes to be a King, you would be stupid not to take the crown.” “Why would that make me stupid?”  “Because a title is powerful. The other creatures will have more respect for you and that’s good for our nation. Not saying Chrysalis was a good Queen, but she’d been our Queen for centuries and it’s only just recently become a problem.”  Thorax blinked again. “I don’t care about power! Respect for power is the same as fear.” With another shrug, Pharynx reached back into the box and dug through it again. “This was from the Queen’s private chambers. I was curious if there was anything useful in it. Maybe some magical weapon or jewelry.”  “If there’s anything enchanted in there, I doubt it’ll do good, Pharynx.” Thorax commented, watching his brother. Suddenly, a book flew his way and almost hit him; considering his earlier practice he was able to catch it just in time and read its cover. “A journal?” He opened it to see what his former Queen had written in it. “It’s empty…?”  “What about this thing?” Pharynx asked, still muzzle-first inside the box. He threw a green, heart-shaped pillow over his shoulder. Thorax with his hooves full couldn’t catch and it hit him square in the face. “Pfftlth—hey!” Thorax cried while spitting out stray bits of pillow-fluff. Afterwards, he carefully picked the pillow up and turned it over in his magic. A sniff later had him scrunch his muzzle. “Yeah, it definitely belongs to her, alright. Are you sure there’s anything actually special in there?” ” “Maybe.” Pharynx finally pushed himself out of the box, holding a bunch of dolls and a crumpled piece of paper in his embrace. He dropped them on the floor and cackled. “Look, aren’t these the dolls you used to play with?” Curiously, Thorax stepped closer and inspected the little figures that represented different creatures, from dragons to ponies, and even changelings. “They look similar, but mine were different. Besides, I keep them in my room. I wonder where these come from?”  “You don’t remember where you got yours?” Pharynx raised an eyebrow, he’d never cared where the dolls came from but was surprised that Thorax didn’t know either. “Nah. I guess I just kept mine from when I got them as hatchling.” He gently poked at the tiny changeling and then noticed the scrunched up piece of paper. Using his magic he opened and straightened it before he lowered his head to read the text on it. “Looks like a page from the journal or something.”  Pharynx, now curious, buzzed his wings and read from over Thorax’s shoulder. “Odpre wexr Fépi—” “You really shouldn’t read it out loud. It could be a spell or worse!” Thorax interrupted. To be safe he folded the paper and levitated it over to the empty journal, slipping it between random pages before putting the book back into the box.  “Eh. You’re no fun.” Pharynx stuck his tongue out. “What about the dolls? Do you want to keep them?”  “Maybe? We could give them to the younglings. I doubt there’s anything wrong with them.” “Except they’ll all grow up to be like you if you make them play with dolls.” With furrowed brows, Thorax reached for the dolls and pulled them over. “Nothing wrong with that. They’re children, they can play with dolls.” “I never have and I turned out alright! You can have fun without toys. Remember that one time I stole the dragon egg and threw it into the spring at the hive? I bet it’s still at the bottom of the pond. Hah! Or remember when I made a cookie out of stone and told one of the younger ‘lings to eat it and he lost a tooth to it?” Pharynx grinned. “That was fun!”  Thorax pressed his lips together, and shot his chuckling brother a glare. “That was me. You gave that stone cookie to me and told me it was a gift from mother!” Pharynx blinked. “Oh. Yeah. Maybe it was more funny than fun.” “Not for me.” Thorax grumbled. He picked up the toys and turned towards the exit. Pharynx stepped around and stood in front of Thorax. “Hey, come on. I’m sure you have some good memories, too.” Thorax looked down at the dolls held against his chest. “I do have some good memories. But none with the other changelings, just some of my own, playing with my dolls. Although… where did they come from?” He closed his eyes and tried to remember... I remember one day I was walking the hive alone when I saw a group of changelings my age scuffling. I don’t remember what they were arguing about, only that there was a lot of hissing. Of course, I turned around in order to not be drawn into it, but they had already spotted me.  One would call, “Hey look, it’s Thorax!” and another one would say, “And he’s without his bodyguard today!” because Pharynx wasn’t with me. Usually I was glad if he was following me around because he protected me from worse. Not that time.   Eventually, someone reported my black eye to mother. I don’t remember what she did to the bullies but she could figure out who had beaten me and they would lay off for a while. One day the Queen asked to speak to me in her private chambers. I was so nervous that I thought I was going to throw up. Only very few changelings had even seen her bedroom. Part of me wanted to ignore the request out of fear, but when I thought about what happened to changelings who didn’t follow her orders I knew there was no other way. When I entered the room and the metal doors shut behind me, mother was standing a few feet away at a lectern. Despite being queen, her furniture was practical. The bed was a boulder with a flat surface and several blankets and pillows on it. Quietly and with my ears flat against my head I walked up to her. She didn’t have any words for me, only a cold glare that was silently judging me for… I don’t even know what. “You’re very lucky to be personally raised by me, your Queen, aren’t you?” Mother said and I knew what she was expecting an answer. I didn’t feel lucky but I knew what she wanted to hear. “Yes, my Queen.”  She smiled at that, but it was short-lived. “You’re lucky not because I have chosen you. I only choose the grubs that I see the most potential in. You’re lucky to have the potential to become more than a majority of your siblings. So why do you insult me and my love by letting your less fortunate siblings beat you up? Why won’t you fight back?”  I think she couldn’t understand it. A changeling who wouldn’t fight back. Changelings, according to her, were supposed to be fearless. But then she said something that surprised me.  “If you find yourself unable to deal with your foes, what do you do? What does a changeling do? It leaves and comes back with an army! Why did you not come to me and tell me about your situation?” I couldn’t tell whether she was mad with me or not, but the tone of her voice became softer with every unanswered question. And finally I found the courage to say something myself. “E-Even if I do nothing, I’m always the target. No changeling plays with me, no changeling likes me. And Pharynx, he tries to be nice but then he— ” Mother’s glare turned into something I could only describe as disappointment. But… I think there was sadness in it as well. She frowned and then she turned away and picked up something with her magic. I don’t know what it had been before but after a green flash she was holding a couple of dolls in her magic. She sat down and placed them on the ground before herself. An earth pony, a changeling, a zebra and a dragon.  “Thorax, you’ve always been a little weaker than the others, so you have to work even harder to make up for it. Sit.” She leaned forward and petted the floor. Of course I did as asked and sat down. We were so close, and she was so tall and scary. But all of the sudden... nice, too?  “You see these dolls? If the others won’t play with you, you can still play alone. I made these just for you. For you and no changeling else.” And then she picked up the changeling and the pony doll. “What is the difference between these two?” “Um… this is a changeling and that one is a pony.” I said carefully, but she just shook her head. “No, Thorax. One is a changeling and the other a changeling in disguise. You see, we can be whoever we want. If you don’t want to be the victim, be someone else. If you wanted to, you could be the one bullying.” She flung the changeling at my hooves and chuckled. I picked it up to return it to the others and when I did, she reached a hoof around me and she hugged me!  It was something special, better than a day off, better than candy, even better than feeding on love. It was a mother’s love.  “These are yours now,” she told me then, “Don’t let anyone take them from you.” I always thought what she wanted to tell me was that I could be whoever I want to be and that she made these dolls because she loved me. The only reason I had the courage to run away eventually were the dolls, I think.  In hindsight, she might have been trying to encourage me to be more like the other changelings. I wish I knew for sure. Did she make those dolls because she loved me or to manipulate me? “Are you there? Hey!” Pharynx waved his hoof in front of Thorax’s face who was just sitting there, eyes closed.  When he didn’t respond Pharynx carefully tugged on the doll in his brother’s grasp..  That seemed to have done the trick as Thorax suddenly jumped up and hissed at Pharynx, and tightened his hold protectively. “Whoa! Easy! I was just trying to wake you up!” Pharynx said in defense, falling over backwards and landing in his mashed potato bowl with his flank.  Thorax blinked, now back in reality he put down the doll and walked over to help Pharynx back up. “Ah, I-I’m sorry, I was just…”  “Did you remember something?” Pharynx inquired while he wiped the potatoes off his carapace with his magic. Still looking a little lost, Thorax nodded. He glanced down at the figurines. “Yeah. And I’ve made a decision.” “That’s good, bro.” Pharynx picked up his bowl and put it on a nearby boulder. “Did you have a pony friendship moment kind of thing and are going to start singing now?” Pharynx teased with a smug grin. Thorax opened his mouth to respond when a realization struck him. He stood there for a moment, mouth agape, then hurried for the door. “I totally forgot about singing group! They’ve been waiting on me!”