//------------------------------//
// Chapter 14 - Hearing the Buzz 
// Story: Reflections in Black and Pink 
// by Krixwell 
//------------------------------//

Far out in the wilderness ponies called the Undiscovered West, a few hours' journey by hoof from the nearest train station, a rocky structure sat in the middle of a ring of desolation. The tall and pointy hive of scum and villainy would strike fear into the heart of any non-changeling who ventured far enough to see it, and sap the strength out of those brave or foolish enough to come closer.

To Rhabdom, Grand Spymaster of the Compound Eye, it was home.

It was a home he would serve and protect at all costs. If having to listen to bumbling maggots all day was what it took to serve the hive's best interests, he was prepared to listen until his ears bled. Which was fortunate, seeing as he was doing just that.

"...and I overheard my neighbor, miss Quartz, say she forgot to let her pet cat out last night," said the changeling whose visage was being projected in front of Rhabdom's face through the communication spell all the dedicated spies had been taught. With a flash of green flame, it was replaced by the face of an aging pink crystal mare with ringlets in her mane. "Lion gets very temperamental if he doesn't get to go out when he wants to, and—"

"Spiracle," Rhabdom said with a sigh, "how is any of this relevant to the Queen?"

"I'unno," Spiracle replied, returning to his true form. "You told me it wasn't my job to think about what the Queen did or didn't need to hear, sir, last week when I forgot to tell you the Princess was out of the Empire."

Buzz. He was right, Rhabdom had said that.

"Right… We probably don't need to hear about miss Quartz's cat, though, understood?"

"Sir, yes, sir!" Spiracle made an exaggerated salute. Coming from anypony else, Rhabdom would have thought it mocking, but he knew it was entirely in earnest.

"Do you have anything else to report from the Crystal Empire?"

"Yes, sir. With Princess Cadence, Prince Shining Armor and their daughter all out of the Empire for the Festival of Love in Canterlot, a group of nobles from Equestria have been assigned to temporarily take over ruling the Crystal Empire in their absence. First among them is somepony named Blueblood."

Rhabdom had heard much about Prince Blueblood from his Canterlot spies. More than likely, only Blueblood and Spiracle thought he was first among the nobles. "Is she trying to tear apart the Empire?" Rhabdom wondered aloud as he wrote down the information on his notepad.

Spiracle seemed to think it a question meant for him. "He's a stallion, sir."

"I know. Anything else?"

"Well, Obsidian Shard's dogs—"

"I don't want to hear about any more pets!" Rhabdom snapped.

"But—"

"No 'but's! Was that all?"

"Um…" Spiracle sounded taken aback. Good. "Yes, sir, that was all."

"Excellent. Thank you for your report, Spiracle. Keep a close eye on Prince Blueblood and the circle of nobles that he thinks is his. Understood?"

"Understood, sir. Spiracle, over and out."

The moment Spiracle's face disappeared, Rhabdom let out a deep sigh of relief, before mentally checking his own end of the communication spell. Dealing with Spiracle's nonsense had taken so long, there was already another changeling waiting for him to pick up the call.

The communication spell was highly versatile and valuable. It wasn't the easiest to cast, but Rhabdom still didn't understand why the Queen insisted on only teaching it to the spies of the Compound Eye. Every changeling could have use out of it, if she let them.

Part of its versatility lay in the amount of control the recipient had in their own mind. At will, Rhabdom could check who was attempting to contact him, "pick up" or decline calls, or even give an automated response that would record a one-sided message from the changeling on the other end, a feature the Queen had referred to as "voicemail".

So by the time he saw the face of her pony form projected in front of him, Rhabdom already knew it would be Valvula. While many changelings would dismiss or belittle her for her awful name – seriously, who would name their daughter Valvula – the mare was a highly competent spy who just so happened to have already been positioned in Ponyville before Twilight Sparkle moved there and formed her little Council of Friendship. After the disastrous wedding invasion and especially since Twilight's later coronation, Valvula had been a valuable source of information on what the fourth princess of Equestria was up to.

"Valvula, reporting from Ponyville," she said curtly. She was always curt, these days. "The squad Clypeus is on is passing through Ponyville on their way to the hive."

That would be squad 833, led by Frons. They had reportedly caused an uproar in Manehattan that morning, seemingly having had to break one of their own out of the local police station's holding cells. If they were in Ponyville already, they must have taken the train.

"Excellent," Rhabdom said, writing the intel down.

"They're bringing a clone of Pinkie Pie."

"What?"

"A few weeks after the Crystal Empire returned, Pinkie Pie duplicated herself. I don't know how. In the end, Twilight locked about forty Pinkies in a room and lasered them until only the real one was left. I guess one slipped away." Valvula's blunt, matter-of-fact tone as she recounted the tale only served to underline how shocking it was.

"Why didn't you report that at the time?" Rhabdom asked.

Valvula shrugged, a motion that was barely visible on the projection. "It didn't seem relevant."

"That's for me and the Queen to decide," Rhabdom chided. "Do you know why squad 833 is bringing this… clone?"

"I don't, but I think only Clypeus knows what she is. I watched her tell him. The Council's sisters know, too." For some reason, Valvula shivered at the thought of that, but she quickly pulled herself together.

"Interesting. Anything else?"

"She calls herself Party Popper."

Valvula went on to give Rhabdom a short update on other matters in Ponyville. Not much else of note had changed there, other than some ponies traveling to Canterlot a few days in advance to attend the Festival of Love, so Rhabdom was thankful for her characteristic brevity.

It even left him some time to think and organize his notes before the next call came in from… Ó͘m̡̡͘͜ḿ̸̶͠a̕͢ţ́́͜o̶̕ṕ̧͟h̷̀͡o̶͘͢͜r͏̸̵̧e̴̡͞? What? Rhabdom could barely make out the name of one of the Canterlot spies, under the static that filled his brain when he tried to check the caller ID.

Unsettled, he picked up the call. Ommatophore's face was projected in the air in front of him, but it was wrong, appearing heavily distorted. From what little Rhabdom could make out, Ommatophore was just as taken aback as he was.

Then he spoke. At least, Rhabdom assumed that was what caused the awful screeching sound.

"Ah!" Rhabdom exclaimed, putting his hooves to his ears. It barely helped, but it made Ommatophore stop talking, and the screeching faded.

Rhabdom closed the call. He was about to cast the spell himself, to try contacting Ommatophore in return, when a hive messenger entered the communication room.

"Rhabdom," Tarsus said plainly, not bothering to verify that he was actually talking to Rhabdom. "The Queen wishes to see you. Just so you know, she's in a foul mood."

Rhabdom could feel Ommatophore trying to call him again, but he had more immediate matters to attend to now. He let it go to "voicemail" and hoped he wouldn't be greeted by more distorted screeching when he checked the message.

It was time to pass on what he had learned.





Sometimes, Rhabdom wished the Queen would use the communication spell for his debriefing sessions. It would spare him the walk to the throne room, and allow him to keep his notes in one place.

But no, she insisted on having him come to the throne room and give her the information from the spies face to face. Well, face to real face.

As he entered the throne room, he found Queen Chrysalis pacing on the floor below her throne. She noticed his presence a moment too late for him to miss that she was muttering to herself, though he could not make out the words.

"Spymaster Rhabdom," she greeted as she flew up to sit on her throne, acting as though nothing had happened, though her tone gave her frustration away. Rhabdom didn't dare nor care to challenge her on that. "What news is there from Equestria?"

Having only had a short time to organize his notes, Rhabdom started from the top, giving the Queen the most important notes on each piece of news, mostly in the same order he had received the calls.

Perhaps that had been a mistake. As report after report of little substance came in, barely noteworthy enough for Rhabdom to bring them to her, the Queen only grew more and more irritated.

"Spiracle reports that a circle of nobles have temporarily taken charge of the Crystal Empire in Cadence and Shining Armor's absence, ostensibly led by Blueblood," Rhabdom reported. It may or may not be a useful detail, but he had hoped that the idea of Prince Blueblood being in charge of anything might lighten the Queen's mood.

Unfortunately, she only grumbled at his pause.

"Reports from Chaeta in Manehattan and Valvula in Ponyville indicate that squad 833 is on its way back after running into some trouble in Manehattan. Valvula reports that they are bringing—"

"ENOUGH!" Chrysalis shouted. In a lower voice, more growl than speech, she continued, "No more irrelevant drivel. Give me the news from Canterlot."

"But Your Highness, Valvula's report—"

"I. Don't. Care." she snarled, flashing her sharp teeth. "Valvula and squad 833 aren't important. Canterlot, Rhabdom."

"As you wish, Your Highness," Rhabdom conceded with a small bow. Pushing one's luck by questioning the Queen's orders more than once was risky, especially when she was in this sort of mood.

He skipped a few lines in his notes and continued, "Morning reports from spies near the castle indicate a series of so-called Sonic Rainbooms periodically supercharging unicorn magic in the city. Apparently Rainbow Dash has been practicing. Celestia and Luna have been busy handling the usual politics while Cadence, Twilight Sparkle and the Council of Friendship have been preparing for the Festival."

"As expected. What about Shining Armor?"

"He has been sighted with his sister, alongside a master artificer named Focus Flare and an earth pony stallion the spies could not identify. What they're up to is unknown."

"You said these were morning reports. Have there been any more recent ones?"

Rhabdom hesitated. "Ommatophore attempted to report just before I received your summons, Your Highness, but something went wrong with the spell."

"Wrong? Wrong how?"

He mentally checked the voicemail. Sure enough, there were two messages from "Ò̡͠͝͡m̶̴m̡͠͝͝͠a̵̢̛͡t̶̢̛o̵̡͟p̴̧͘h̷͟͝o͡͏̢̕r̵̸e̡͝", and one from "E̴̷̕l̴̶̕y̧̨̛͟͢t̸̢ŕ͘̕͠o̵͢n̶͏̷͡", his partner. He played the first one, right there in front of the Queen. A distorted Ommatophore appeared, screeching every time he opened his mouth.

"Like that, Your Highness," Rhabdom said as he stopped the infernal racket after a few seconds.

Queen Chrysalis growled again. "So you have nothing of use."

"I—"

"Get out," she said flatly. "Return to me when you have something worthwhile from Canterlot."

"Your Highness…"

"GET OUT!"

Rhabdom was not one to lose control of himself to the point of scrambling for the exit that was opening in the wall. Nonetheless, anypony who saw him leave the throne room that afternoon would describe him as scurrying.

Nopony hesitated to obey the Queen twice.