//------------------------------//
// Chapter 131 - Kitchen Sink Investigation 
// Story: Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) 
// by CrazedLaughter 
//------------------------------//

“Oh god, BLARGH, ngh! That asshole, making the pizza taste so, BLARGH. Just had to be tasty enough for me to go for that third slic-BLARGH! He did it on purpose! God, it even tastes good coming up, BLARGH!” Below deck of the ‘Redemption Ark’, you were puking up a storm in the armory bathroom. A quaint little room beside a hall of cannonballs, swords, spears, and cannons ready to fire through side hatches. The bathroom itself was pretty nice, or it was made nice with the furnishings, potted plant, window hatch, and two toilets for both bipedal and quadruped creatures.  Of course, none of that mattered to you, you just needed to let everything loose after overeating.

Indeed, you and the CMC had stuffed yourselves, you especially. The CMC were above deck, almost like little pudgeballs themselves as they found themselves unable to move, even after being warned by Tempest and Capper that eating too much junk food wouldn't do well for them.  You? Damn man, you’re much better than some filly, how could you not handle it? Well, you didn’t. “Ugggghh, dammit, that’s it. Ogh, I think I actually made room for another slice. Ngh, actually, forget about it, I don’t need another bathroom visit.” You tell yourself as you flush the toilet and walk over to the sink, gazing at yourself in the mirror with tired eyes. “Look at you, Anon, beaten by food. How humiliating. Man, you could do better than that. If someone like Pinkie could handle that much food, then how could you not? Actually, never mind, maybe it’s a good thing. Don’t want to ruin my cuteness now would I?” You tell yourself as you give your mirror image a quick grin. “Yeah, I know, I’m perfect.”

You chuckle to yourself as you open the door back to the armory. However, upon taking a few steps forward, you end up bumping into another pair of legs. Wuh? You look up to see Tempest had followed you, and had been waiting for you. But her stare, why did it look so scary? “Tempest? Yo, er, did you come down to check on me? I mean, you didn’t have to, I can handle a little food.”

But she said nothing.

“Tempest? You ok there? You’re giving me the creeps all of a sudden.” Like, the fuck? Why was she looking at you like that? Was that even her? She seemed pretty cheerful above deck, so why did she look so serious now?

“Storm King. What exactly did you do with him?” Tempest asked, without emotion, keeping her gaze right on you.

Your ears twitched and folded when you heard that. Why was she asking about that? You had already said it. “I already sa-”

“Yes, I know.  And I can understand the need to lie to them considering all that anger and animosity you held towards him, and at one time, towards me. So again, what exactly did you do with him? And furthermore, why does it seem like you did something you shouldn’t have?” Tempest questioned as she cut you off, tilting her head slightly, looking at you harder for any subtle reaction.

Ohhhhh god no, she already figured you out?! Anon, how the fuck are you gonna get out of this one?! How would she even react? You didn’t even know if the situation had to be diffused or not. “I-I mean, I… I did do something pretty terrible to him.”

“So you revived him, interesting. Well, you don’t need to worry about me judging you for whatever you did. I’m sure whatever it was wasn’t even close to what he deserves.” Tempest said, her demeanor softening only a bit.

“O-oh, in that case, I pretty much stuck his living head onto this mutant changeling that sticks around outside my window. I mean, I stuck him right on his butt.  He hated it, but I didn’t care, I felt it was fitting. Y’know, to make him the ‘butt’ of all jokes. Hahaha!” And that was truth, and with that pun, you hoped to break Tempest’s gaze with a chuckle or even a laugh.

“Good, he deserves it. Would you mind if we go see him right now? I’d like a chance to crush whatever spirits he might have left.” Tempest said. But the way she said it, she didn’t sound enthused. No, more like she seemed to be trying to get a reaction out of you. And unfortunately for you, you didn’t catch it at first, as you panicked and tried to come up with an excuse as to why you couldn’t allow that.

“Oh, er, that’d be awesome! But I came to visit you, and I can’t just-” But she cuts you off once again.

“Leave your friends here? They’ll be fine with Grubber and Capper, I can guarantee that. Plus, considering how much they ate, they won’t be moving for awhile. So, my next question is what happened then? For someone who would be proud to be known as ‘defeating’ the Storm King, you are being absolutely suspicious about it.” Tempest, despite her cold stare, began to feel anxious about what you were going to say next. Holy shit, she could tell you were lying. When she stared at you before, above deck, she must have already figured out it wasn’t the truth. 

Ngh! Dammit! You couldn’t come up with something she might believe! You’d have to tell her the truth! Oh god, if she knew that the Storm King escaped and then… Died? He died, he totally died! HAHA! And she seems perfectly ok with that. “Ok, what I’m about to tell you is pretty heavy stuff. So I have to ask you to not fry me before you hear out everything I have to say.”

“Fry you? I don’t think I’d… Anon, please tell me-” Aha, but you cut her off this time.

“That he got free? He did, he did, erm. But I’m still standing because I actually managed to beat him. I mean it, Tempest. He tried to fight me, but I totally beat him instead. Like, I threw everything at him, and then crushed him under a giant kitchen sink. And when I say giant, I mean enough to destroy a small planetoid. Nobody, not even him, could survive that. I admit, my Dad’s little power up helped with that, but I still ultimately beat him myself. I think it’s fitting actually, to see that even with his increased power, he was no match for the Prince of Chaos. That being me, of course.” You say, grinning with self satisfaction.

Tempest, who held in all her rage in finding out that the Storm King somehow got loose, began to calm down just as quick as she could finally tell you were telling the truth, as you had no more hesitation or physical tells.”So, that’s it then? He got loose and you beat him? Hm, amazing how well you’ve come around if you were able to beat that mutated freak on your own. I wish I could have seen it, to see the look on his face when he realized his dreams and ambitions were taken by a colt.” Tempest had a dark sense of joy for a moment, up until she realized she was enjoying the thought a little too much. She felt perhaps she shouldn't, as only a monster would take absolute pleasure in the suffering of another. But it was hard, she truly felt that he should suffer for everything he's done.  “With that said, what did you do with his remains?”

“Remains?” Er, there probably were no remains, the guy was obliterated by a giant kitchen sink. “I don’t think there’s anything left of him. I literally smashed him into paste.”

“Then where is the paste?” Tempest asked, anxiety building within her as something obvious began to show itself.

“Er, well… I, erm. I mean, I didn’t really bother checking either way. I threw literally everything at him, it destroyed the planetoid we were even on. There’s nothing left of him, I’m pretty sure of it.” And as sure as your words sounded, as Tempest looked back at you with wide and angry eyes, that assurance you felt that you had done good began to quickly leave you.

“What?! WHAT?! You didn’t even bother to check?! What is wrong with you?! How could you not check if you finished the job!” Tempest barked at you, filling with sudden rage as her horn began to spark. Hell, she snapped so fast, it even scared you.

“U-uh, I was gonna be late for dinner, and er. Look, I was sort of out of my mind when I finished him off. But I can promise you, he’s gone, he hasn’t shown up since I crushed his ass.” You try to reassure Tempest, but she wasn’t taking it. Without a thorough investigation, she would not be quelled.

“Anon, you… YOU! This isn’t a joke! None of that should sound as nonchalant as you’re making it! The Storm King is a dangerous monster, and you didn’t even bother to check if you had finished him! UGGGH!” Tempest said as she quickly moved away from you and fired a sparkling shot into the hull of the ship, charring it, but not damaging it further than that. Despite her anger, she was keeping her power in check rather well. “Anon, we’re going to have to go there, RIGHT NOW, and make sure he’s gone. We need to find his remains. Limbs, some bones, even paste. Something, Anon, we need to find something!”

“You mean now? Like, right now? What about everyone else?” Oh no, the situation was getting out of hand, and now even you were having doubts about how dead you made the Storm King.

“What about them? Your friends are sprawled on deck from eating too much, and Capper and Grubber know, like I said, how to handle themselves. Now, Anon, we can’t waste anymore time!” Tempest said, her eye twitching, her broken horn sparkling further. Hn, fine, you’d fulfill her request. She wasn’t wrong, you should have made absolutely sure he was gone. Luckily, with your unlimited power, it shouldn't be too hard to find some piece of him. This shouldn’t take too long. 

“Alright, alright, ok, I get it.” You say as you plop on your horn. “You’re right, I should have checked. And although I’m pretty sure he’s gone, making a quick check shouldn’t be too hard. Let me just tell you though, the chaos realm is sorta crazy, so stick close to me, ok?”

“I can handle myself, Anon. Just teleport us to the battle site.” Tempest said, in a demanding way as she prepared herself.

“Ok, erm, here we go then.” And with a quick flash, you and Tempest vanish, popping into the chaos dimension, right on a large floating rock.  Around you were the usual islands of nonsense, floating landmasses, crazy weather, that sort of thing. But right across of you both was floating debris of all kinds, with a colossal kitchen sink in the center, plunged into the remains of the planetoid. “Here we are, the chaos dimension. Ok, so over there is where we fought, or what’s left of it anyway. He should be right under the kitchen sink, so all we have to do is float right along in there. Be careful though, gravity is really weird here. Just stick by me and you should… Tempest?” She was gone. You looked around only to see her already in the distance, leaping off machinery and debris as she made her way ever closer to the sink. “Or, you can just go on your own. Christ…” You sigh as you teleport closer to the target, bringing yourself right on the remains of the planetoid as Tempest lands right beside you. She lands so suddenly that it scares you and makes you fall on your side. “Gyah! Geez! Watch it! How did you get here so fast?! I just teleported here!”

“I jumped. I had already noticed the gravity here is fluid, yet not. Now, focus.” Tempest said as she walks over to the sink. It was so huge, like a monument the size of a city block. There was no way she was going to move it, or even blast it out of the way. “Well, here’s the sink. You really dropped this on him?”

“I did. That’s why I’m saying he’s totally gone. No one, not even him, could survive this.” You say as you tap your horn on the sturdy porcelain. “This has got to be millions of tons, nothing but the most powerful of magics could lift this thing. Nothing but my magic, of course”

“So, lift it then. We’ll have our answer once we look at the ground underneath.” Tempest said as she stepped backwards and awaited the movement of the sink.

“Er, ok…” Just like that? Christ, it was just like how she was before her reform. Cold, to the point, militaristic.  C’mon, Anon, you are right, right? The guy is dead, he has to be. If he got out, the sink probably would have been blown to bits.  You start using your magic to grab the sink, and easily levitate it up and away from the planetoid. If the guy was alive, you could just easily drop it on him if he tries anything.

When the sink lifted, the broken planetoid began to shake slowly for a moment before becoming still again. Tempest stepped forward to investigate the crater left by the sink, and jumped in as she began to slide down to the center, looking all around for a corpse as she came closer to the center. You followed after her. As you both slid, you both notice a strange body shaped hole nearby. Oh boy, that had to be it. Guy is dead, haha! You knew it! But your mental celebration would soon come to a halt when you and Tempest looked over it and saw that the hole went straight through the planetoid, with the hole going through to the other side. No body, there was no body. Tempest lit the whole hole with a small spark shot to confirm, to light it up and make sure it went all the way through, it did. “Anon, he isn’t here.”

SHIT! “E-er, I, erm. I mean.” You didn’t know how to respond.

“He isn’t here, Anon. Darn it!” Tempest said as she stomped her hoof. She then looked at you with a fierce glare. “How could you not check?! He survived, Anon, he managed to get out through the other end! He must be more powerful than before if he could survive this!”

“I mean, he kinda wasn’t. I was able to beat him, he didn’t eve-” But Tempest snapped at you, she didn’t want to hear it.

“I don’t care! That’s not what’s important now! Anon, this! This was not a game, and yet you treat it like it is! The Storm King isn’t stupid, Anon, despite the way he talks. He took over entire countries, Anon, and if we can’t find him, then he’ll come back stronger than before, he’ll know better how to deal with you and us!” Tempest yelled at you, stomping towards you as you nearly crawled back away from her.

“I know! I’m sorry ok! I… Ugh, look, he shouldn’t have been able to even free himself from where I put him! I don’t know how he did it, not even he did! But, we can find him, I know someone who can help.” Shit, you were scared. Tempest looked like she was really to tear you to shreds. It was obvious she hadn’t thanks to her self control, but the friendship between you and her? Now it seemed rocky, and it really did seem to be your fault.

“Then get him. We cannot waste any more time.” Tempest said, as she began to look at the hole again for any clues. “Use your magic to bring them here, now. We have to figure something out before the trail goes completely cold.”

“Er, I can’t really do that with this guy. Considering it’s my dad, I have to contact him. But don’t worry, this is important, I’m sure he’ll help.” God, you hope he does.

“Then contact him.” Tempest said as she looked back at the hole and shot another spark downwards. “I’ll continue investigating the hole. There’s already something strange about it.”

“What’s strange ab-” But she just gives you a deep dark stare, as in to tell you to not waste time asking and spend more time contacting. “O-ok then, maybe later. Alright…” You step away and bring a hoof to your ear as you start up your codec. “Discord, Discord… I need you, like, right now. We got a situation.”

Amazingly, Discord answers near immediately. But of course, he didn’t seem to want to be disturbed. “And what kind of situation is that?  Is it more important than me reading this letter from your secret pony friend Neighsay as I wonder how mailponies even manage to get to my house? Oh yes, by the way, I’m reading your mail.”

Fucking… Wait, Neighsay? Neighsay sent you a… Goddammit, you should have known that your business with him wasn’t over yet. Ugh, whatever, you didn’t even care that Discord was looking through it, you just needed him here. “Yes, Discord, it is, I don’t even care that you’re reading my mail. I need you, I seriously need you right now. The Storm King, Ravager, whatever! He’s still around.”

“What?!” Discord yelled through his codec as he instantaneously appeared at the crater, visibly upset as he turned to look at you, then pointed at you with great fury. “He’s 'around'?! How can he be around?! My instilled chaotic insanity I put into you should have been enough of a push to bury him. You dropped a kitchen sink on him for chaos’s sake! Your chaos mastery through my own powers should have been absolute, this fight being the triumph of true calamity! Yes, you may have given up on my gift, but it was still perfect! How, Anon, how did you screw this one up?!”

“Me?!” Goddammit, was that what he cared about right now?! “What do you mean I screwed this up?! Like I said, I dropped a kitchen sink on him! Dammit, Discord, this is serious! I need you to take this more seriously, alright? This guy is willing to kill people, even ponies like me and Fluttershy! Stop your shit and help us!”

Discord, upon hearing that last part, suddenly cringed and let out a low growl as his eyes shifted to Tempest. “Using a low blow by mentioning Fluttershy, are we? Very well, even though this is your fault, I will lend my services to you so we can fix this egregious mistake.” Discord, as he said this, began to adjust his horns as if they were part of a satellite tower. And after that, he just sort of stood there, silent.

Tempest’s attention was taken off her investigation by Discord’s appearance. She had never seen him in person before, and the way he looked and acted, it was even more aloof and mismatched than she had imagined. Of course, with him just standing there, it began to piss her off. “What is he doing? We don’t have time for games.”

“We always have time for games, my dear.” Discord said as he turned his head towards her and brought a talon to his muzzle to shuush her. “But be quiet, I need some concentration. For some reason, I can’t seem to detect him.”

“How are you even trying to detect him? I know you can pick up on anomalies, but what about guys like him?” You ask, curious as to what exactly Discord was doing.

“His chaotic signature. Detecting other beings of chaos is actually quite easy for me, especially when it comes to keeping tabs on you. But… There does seem to be a problem.” Discord said as he began to adjust his horns again, even putting more horns on top of his horns… For reception?

“And what problem is that?” Tempest asked, already ready not to take Discord’s shit.

“No chaos signature. Not here, not there, not anywhere. His chaotic aura isn’t even coming up in Equestria. Odd, it’s as if he vanished completely.” Discord said as he began to stroke his beard with his paw.

“Vanished? How?! Are you sure, Discord? Geez, c’mon, this guy is dangerous as fuck, how could you not find him?! Are you sure you’re just not reading his signature right?” D-dammit, even Discord can’t find him?! What is going on?!

“I’m absolutely sure. He’s not in this dimension, nor the next. Looking along the leylines of dimensions, he’s not even in any outside universes either. His chaos has dissipated, which tells me that my perfect way of handling your sanity was indeed perfect. My guess is that the kitchen sink hit him so hard that he must have turned to literal dust.” Discord shrugged, smirking to himself. “And you two were worried that this whole thing wasn’t solved with my genius. For shame. But don’t you worry, I’ll let this one slide with no strings attached, except for the knowledge of how great I truly am. Now, if you excuse me, I have things to do of little importance, good day to you both.”

“What?! So you’re not going to help us further? How can you be so sure the Storm King is truly gone?!” Tempest said as she stomped her hoof, challenging Discord’s conclusion, as she felt he wasn’t thorough and that his scan was insufficient. 

“Like I said, I can’t detect him. He became a creature of chaos, which means I, being the spirit of chaos, can easily detect him through just his aura. But if he doesn’t have said aura, and he got crushed,  then it means he’s gone forever. Now, as I said, good day to the both of you. I don’t have time to have my perfect self questioned by somepony I’ve never even met. I have less important things to do, like perhaps reading through Twilight’s mail” Discord, wasting no time, snaps his talons, disappearing from the area.

Tempest just stood there, confused and stunned. “T-that was Discord? I didn’t expect him to be so… nonsensical. What did he mean by ‘handling your sanity’? Why did he even…” Suddenly, Tempest shook her head as she realized she just lost focus on the entire situation. “Nevermind, forget about it.” Tempest went back to the hole and began to walk down into it as the gravity shifted for her naturally, or unnaturally. Either way, she seemed calmer than before, as if she actually took Discord’s words to heart about what he said towards the Storm King’s fate. “Anon, can you come over here?”

Ugh, Neighsay, you really weren’t done with him. Whatever, first thing’s first, you had to finish this investigation with Tempest. You waddle over to the hole and look down upon it as you saw Tempest light her horn once more, her moving her hoof along the side as she neared the other end. “What is it?” You asked as you used your horn to gently hover down towards her.

“If what your father said is true, and given the smaller size of the other end of the hole, I only have two things to ask. One, how large was the Storm King when you fought him? And two, do other creatures, dangerous creatures, live around here?” Tempest asked as she began to survey the other end of the hole.

“He was even bigger than before actually. He was going by the name ‘Storm Ravager’ when I fought him. As for creatures, there’s a ton, I mean, a lot just float by. According to Dad, they’re pretty dangerous. I know, like, some mail pony got eaten once.” Poor guy, he never stood a chance. All to deliver a gala ticket to Discord.

“I see, then it looks like I owe you an apology.” Tempest said as she stood up, and began to walk back up the wall of the hole.

Wha? What did she figure out to suddenly offer you an apology? “Wha? What do you mean?”

“From what I could gather, the Storm King was crushed by your gigantic sink and sent into that hole. The massive size of the hole probably matched the size of his body. That being said, the end of the hole looks like it was dug or punched through from the other end, and is much smaller than the rest of the hole, too small for the Storm King to fit through anyway. My guess is a creature from this dimension dug through the other end and ate him, leaving no trace of him behind. That would probably explain why your father can’t detect him. So, basically, I…” Tempest sighed, and shook her head in shame. “Apologize. I let my fear, and my anger control me. I was afraid the Storm King had somehow escaped and would then plan revenge on everyone we care about. But looking at the sink, the odd objects orbiting it, and the fact that it seems he’s some creature’s dinner… Well, I don’t think anyone could have survived that. Not even me. I’m sorry, Anon, I really am.” Tempest looked away from you, as tears began to shed from her eyes. She really felt she damaged her friendship with you over something that just seemed petty at this point.

You couldn’t blame her, you really couldn’t. She was right all this time. You should have checked, made sure you finished the job. The fact that an anomaly happened that split him from that joke of an ex-captain should have raised more alarms for you, and yet you were pretty much done when you thought he was dead. From now on, you’ll make sure to check on your work, to make sure the deed is done. “Tempest, don’t be sorry. You were right this whole time. The Storm King isn’t a joke, and I should have taken things more seriously. I understand how you feel. If he somehow did escape, then it would have been all my fault. I should be the one apologizing.”

“Part of me can’t shake off that I do, in fact, felt justified in what I told you. I just shouldn’t have been such a jerk about it. Look, let’s just… You’re sorry, and I’m sorry. We obviously accept each other’s apology. I just… I don’t want to think about the Storm King anymore, and I don’t want anything to come between our friendship. The Storm King will become a forgotten memory now, and I’d rather just pretend this whole thing never happened. Can we do that?” Tempest looked to you with sorry eyes, she really regretted her behavior. Some habits really just do die hard.

“Yeah… Yeah. Let’s just get back to the ship, hang out a bit more, and call it a night. I don’t want to think about that guy either, and just want to spend the rest of the day with you guys before I go home. Besides, knowing Grubber, I bet he’s looking for us right now. We have been gone for awhile.” You say, saying that last part to try to brighten the mood and quickly distract from what just happened.

Tempest let out a weak chuckle, and nodded. “I can already hear him screaming my name. Alright then, let’s go back.“

With the situation calmed, you place your horn on your head and head back to the ‘Redemption Ark’. Although the thoughts of the Storm King, along with Neighsay, rung in your head, you had to try to get rid of them for now. And while you’ll just have to read Neighsay’s letter later to figure out what he wanted. The situation with the Storm King still muddled your thoughts no matter how you tried to leave it be. He was dead, for real, right? No one could have survived that.