Amber's hooves pounded against the road, the college campus morphing around her into the less-planned, more space-efficient buildings of College Town. Valey matched her pace as the town too fell away, leaving them on a shoreline running track along the south of the island. The sky was deep red with sunset and the ocean wind had begun to cool, but even still teams of ponies raced across the field to their left, battling for ball control. Surf struck against the beach to their right, slightly less sheltered than the eastern cove but still popular, and a constant stream of mares and stallions with upturned sunglasses walked past them back towards town, heading home for the end of their weekend.
The southeastern tip of the island offered no more solitude. Developed with a smattering of buildings that looked all related to sports, Valey and Amber ignored it with an early left turn, charging up a hill that slowly grew to separate the upper field from the sea. They passed the bastions where Maple and Starlight had waited earlier and talked, and Valey rounded a hummock to see the Immortal Dream enter her sights... except Amber had fallen behind.
"Buh?" Valey stopped and looked around.
"Up here!" Amber called from the top of one of the edifices, a stream of ponies leaving from the beach nearby. "Catch a breather!?"
Valey jumped up beside her, pumping her wings and clearing a wall the height of a small building. She stood, panting lightly, and looked around. Except for Amber, the viewing platform was empty.
"Starlight was right," Amber panted, much more winded than Valey. "Going for a run does make me feel better."
Valey nodded, wandering over to join her. "In need of a pick-me-up after the last month, huh?"
Amber grimaced. "Mostly after hearing your theories about the windigo hearts. Which I brought you four of."
The wind blew past from the west, like an eternal lung that could exhale for hours. "Oh yeah." Valey rubbed the back of her neck, searching for words. "Starlight told you about that?"
Amber nodded.
"Well, hey." Valey shrugged. "For what it's worth, I made a science friend today who's keeping the hearts locked up in a place where they definitely can't mess with us, on pain of not having me as a science friend in return. I know there's probably a ton of stuff we could have done, and there's definitely no way to know exactly how much the hearts really did, because we went through some legitimately dumb stuff in the Empire and I doubt getting punted around by guards or courted by Chauncey would feel neat even without them. But now? All that's over. So just be proud of yourself for making it out the other side, okay?"
Amber exhaled slowly. "Easier said than done... but you are right." She glanced down at the field, a few ponies still stubbornly playing even as the sky glowed with sunset. "So, this place is really something, huh? You really think we'll be able to live normal lives and put ourselves back together, here? I have a whole month of denial to work through... Heh."
Valey winked. "About me being gone? It isn't denial if you're right in the end. But yeah. I do think this place is where we can put ourselves back together... but normal lives is stretching it. The students? They love us." She swept a hoof out across the field and the campus beyond. "Think we're superheroes or something. You're flirty and reasonably athletic, you'll love them back. And it feels really great after being chased around and attacked or annoyed just because I have bat wings. But..."
She narrowed her eyes slightly. "It's an opposite extreme, like ice water on a burn. We need it for now... at least, I sure do. But I don't think we can live normal lives here. There's gonna come a time, not before we're ready, when we're refreshed, restored, physically healthy and have some mojo back. We're gonna reach a point where we can afford to stop taking care of ourselves here and now, and start looking out for our futures again. And then...? Back to the road in search of a place to call our real home."
"You really think that?" Amber asked. "We just got here."
"Oh, for sure." Valey rolled her shoulders. "This is future talk. For now, we don't have to worry about being arrested or dead tomorrow, which means we can roll in the good times and soak it all up today." She sniffed. "From the smell of you, you've already been doing that. Not nearly enough musty boat in your mane."
"Yeah..." Amber rubbed her mane. "Turns out the hospital has good baths, and Felicity and I got a little carried away."
Valey raised an eyebrow. "You and her are close?"
"You could say that." Amber nodded. "I haven't actually had a relationship quite like it before. We were each other's coping mechanism while you were gone. I groomed her and distracted her by making her feel good, and she backed me up that you'd be back. So we practically trusted each other with our sanity. It's a level I've only really had with Maple and Willow before, only it came from circumstance and a need for survival instead of a long relationship or any personal attraction. So if I needed someone to trust with the darkest part of my heart, I might pick her... but I don't know what her favorite food or color are, and I doubt she knows mine. So on another level, I barely even know her."
Valey stared. "Huh."
"It's not something I'd mind changing, of course," Amber continued. "We don't not get along. I just haven't been able to afford to up until now."
"Huh," Valey repeated. "So, you think you're gonna be okay here?"
Amber shook her head. "About the windigo hearts? That'll take a little time for me to properly forgive myself. But I believe you when you say this is a good place. Look at you, after all."
Valey blinked. "What's that supposed to mean? You realize the one thing I've done since getting here is crushing hundreds of college kid hearts into diamond dust, right?" She put on a rueful grin. "I'm a menace. If I still cared, I'd be beating myself sideways right about now."
"I don't see an army of mortified students rushing to punish you for your transgressions." Amber punched her shoulder. "They must not be that serious. And you're enjoying yourself for it."
Valey stuck out her tongue. "Join me in a raid on the lunch hall tomorrow, and you'll see it. I'm expecting the love letters to start any day now."
Amber giggled. "See, though? You're happy with yourself! And treating yourself better because of it, too." She reached around with a sudden maneuver and poked Valey's belly. "Feel all that! We're practically skeletons, and you've been feasting like a champ!"
Valey glanced down at herself. "Honestly, I really haven't been eating a huge amount. Kind of hard to when I can't go near the dining hall without getting mobbed by fans. Haven't been as hungry, either, though. Maybe I just don't need as much when I'm not regularly conquering castles all by myself and stuff."
Amber leaned her head on Valey's neck, the sun having sank behind the school but not yet the horizon. "Maybe not."
"Honestly, though, I didn't just treat myself good for a day or three, or anything." Valey put a wing over her back, accepting the closeness. "I've been in good condition ever since I came back. Which has gotta be because you took good care of my body, judging by what happened to Nyala. So now that we're here, I will personally return the favor by taking one for the team and distracting all the fangirls in the food place for as long as you need to stuff your face and get healthy too. Sound like a plan?"
Amber was met by Valey's grin, and she returned it. "No more rationing to support the soldiers! Yeah!" She hesitated. "They won't be a problem, will they?"
"I seriously doubt it." Valey shook her head. "I hung out with the ones who came on ahead a bit. We've kind of got an understanding, and I bet they'll spread it around with their friends. But they don't want trouble, we don't want trouble, this island doesn't want trouble, and so we all have literally nothing to lose by working together and getting along."
"That's good." Amber closed her eyes. "...Hey, can I ask you a question?"
"Huh? Sure."
"What do you think is the relationship between strength and beauty?"
"Woah, where'd that come from?"
Amber shook her head. "Oh, it's just on my mind. From everything we've been talking about. But what do you think? Do you have to be one to be the other? Does being one make you the other? Do they go hoof in hoof, or have nothing to do with each other at all?"
Valey scratched an ear. "Well, I can tell you right now that Herman was definitely strong, and the polar opposite of beautiful. So that's off the table. What do you think?"
Amber took a breath and nodded. "A long time ago, back when I wasn't much older than Starlight... You've heard the story about how me and Maple and Willow wanted to go to Ironridge. Willow is much older than me, enough that even though we were like sisters, she sort of mothered me as well. Anyway, one of my strongest memories is of her. It's more a memory of a time period than a specific point or place, but it's just... Willow was so weak. Looking back, you know she felt bad for it, felt terrible that she had to tell us that our dreams were ended because she made bad decisions and she was paying the price and dragging us down with her. We couldn't go to Ironridge because she wasn't smart enough to keep her head around strangers and because she wasn't strong or wise or steady enough to keep us safe while she had a new foal to look out for and she wasn't bold enough to gamble and take us there anyway. We couldn't go because of her, and she knew it."
She paused, folding her ears. "But... she always had a smile for us. She apologized. She let us know it wasn't our fault, and always shed tears when we needed them. But she never slouched, never wallowed, never despaired about the future. And if she did when I wasn't looking, she always picked herself right back up again for us. And every time I've grown since then and realized a little more about how she was hurting, she gets more impressive in my mind... even though I remember being totally wowed by her even back then. Here was my friend and role model who had ruined her own life and her friends' lives, and there was nothing at all she could do to fix it, and she had every right to be upset with herself forever, and she didn't. So as odd as it might seem to think of a mare who's pregnant or has a foal strapped to her back as graceful, I thought Willow was so cool. Maybe she was standing up for herself, but I think she was doing it to show us how to live our lives after the worst had happened. I don't even know if anyone showed her first. Maybe she did it blindly, just believing that dignity and integrity and self-respect were what would help, but I thought..."
Amber let out a little breath. "Well, I thought someday I wanted to be as beautiful as she was. I know I've probably got some rose glasses here, by the way. She wasn't even twenty. She had to have been awkward and messed up a lot on the way. But I think that's why it stuck with me so strongly. She was in trouble because of her own weakness, and held her head up high anyway. And so every time I think about it, I've always wondered if she was really weak or really strong."
A moment passed, and Valey decided she had been given permission to speak. "So now the way you're feeling, with the windigo hearts and all..."
"Oh. Right." Amber reddened a little. "I wasn't actually thinking of those, but... I suppose that's where I messed up and all of you paid the price too, right?" She sighed a little. "I don't even know if I can be like she was. It's not like I doubt myself, it's just like an earth pony trying to reach higher than a pegasus by being tall. But I was honestly thinking of Felicity."
Valey grinned a little. "Well, selflessness and looking out for her do sound like things your role model would do." Her face straightened. "Tell me more about that, though?"
"About Felicity?" Amber shrugged. "It's hard not to see parallels. Her dreams are sunk. She's pregnant. Only her two sisters are dead, and while she's got some coping mechanisms that seem pretty good for managing her burdens, she's more of setting them down or ignoring them instead of learning to carry them. She's got all Willow's flaws, but the ones she was there for are gone, and instead she's got... well, me, at least, there for her. And I think if she keeps doing what she's doing, she probably could have a mostly happy life... though in however many months when that sphinx is born, she won't think of it as anything more than a malady with her body that got in the way of physical affection for a while. Maybe that bothers me for my own sense of decency. Maybe it bothers me for her sake, since I know she really should be able to do better. But you know who I care about who it's really going to bother?"
Valey blinked. "Aww bananas. I don't think I ever even asked how Ironflanks feels about having Felicity on the team."
"You want to know what I'm worried Felicity might let happen?" Amber asked. "She'll give them up for adoption. They'll be a sphinx. Maybe one of the last of their kind. And they'll get picked up from an orphanage, completely helpless, by some scientist who only wants to turn them into an experiment for their species. And that just makes me feel bad inside. But for Maple?"
"There's no way we're letting that happen," Valey insisted. "Felicity's stuck with us, and we're gonna make sure that kid doesn't get dumped if there's no way she can take care of them. We're her only connections in Equestria, and she's so frail that she's already limited to no flying and no running. There's no way she's getting away from us before that kid is born."
Amber sighed. "I appreciate it. But it doesn't feel... you know... good enough. I don't care about myself. I mean, I do! But I'm not my first priority. I wish I could raise someone else's spirits, give someone else a smile, show someone else a better way to live their life than what could have happened to Willow and what did happen to Maple. Even just talking to you is making me more determined. I don't just want to clean up problems and messes. I want to be like Willow and brighten someone's life, and then show them by example how to do the same for themselves and others."
Valey slowly grinned. "Hey. You know what?"
"What?" Amber tilted her head.
Valey booped her nose. "I told you this island's good for us. You sound way better already."
Amber stood still for a moment, and then hugged Valey hard.
"Heh." Valey patted her on the back, returning the hug. "You want my advice, girl? Felicity's still got months left on her foal. I wanna see her shape up and appreciate her life and be a good parent too, and not just because I think competent mares are hot. So don't worry about the big stuff. What you gotta do is take her to lunch in College Town. Dodge the students for a bit and learn about her favorite food and color. Get her talking, make her laugh... It's what you're good at."
"Brightening up others' days." Amber smiled. "It's what I try to be best at."
"Yeah." Valey nodded. "The best thing about this place is that time is on our side. So shelve those life-changing ambitions for now and just be her friend. She's real lonely, and would love you for it. And for a few months, just do that for her, and see how much room it gives you to work with her later."
"Sounds like a plan," Amber sniffed.
Valey glanced off into the distance. "In the meantime, if you've got this really big, grandiose vision of a beautiful mare who's a helpless mess and carries it like a champ so that others don't have to, and you think it would be awesome to live up to it? I've got someone else you might wanna talk to..."
"One of our friends?"
"Yeah. Starlight."
Amber listened, and Valey continued. "You know how that kid feels? Like she's some sort of protective goddess for our party. Forget me, I'm a small-time chump who can't even stand up to Crystal and would have bailed on Herman if she didn't challenge him first. Starlight is practically a miracle worker when she needs to be, and she knows it. And she's terrified of herself. She feels like there's nothing up there with her, no one else to set her straight if she starts to go awry. She thinks she'll get misguided or set on the wrong goal, and with her strength, it could lead her to destroy the entire world. She thinks there's no one stronger than she is, and it makes her so sick she's fainted twice this weekend from panic attacks, just while you were gone."
She released the hug, turning to face Amber. "You wanna be someone so strong, they can carry the burden of ruining someone's life and still being beautiful? That's stronger than Starlight. She'd really appreciate it if you showed her."
Amber's ears fell, and she sadly smiled. "Then it sounds like she needs Willow, not me. That's who I want to be and what I set my eyes on. It wouldn't be a role model if I was already there."
"Yeah, well, you think Willow did all that for you and Ironflanks because she knew she could?" Valey raised an eyebrow. "You think she just sat down one day and was like, 'Well, my life's a dump, I'm young and inexperienced and got myself in trouble, but it's okay 'cause I got this'? No way. It probably felt impossible, and she probably only tried it because she loved you two and the alternative was doing nothing."
"And trying the impossible is what made it so special," Amber finished, hesitant. "I... still don't even know if I can. Valey, please understand... This is something I haven't even told to Maple or Willow. They know I love them, but after my cutie mark became... not what I was going to do with my life, I needed a new bond. Exactly how I feel about Willow and what she means to me? Just how big of a role model she is? I'm like a starry-eyed filly staring up at the Aldenfold. All I can do is reach and maybe make someone smile."
Valey shook her head. "You're never gonna be able to feel as big to yourself as you see whoever you look up to. The only way that can ever happen is if they fall from their pedestal, and that's not helpful for anyone. But I can guarantee you that Willow did not feel like the Aldenfold when she was keeping your spirits up after you couldn't go to Ironridge. She probably felt like an impostor and a snail. I'm just telling you, you were bright and earnest enough to earn my trust when I was fresh out of Ironridge, and I think chasing a dream of inspiring others will lead you to do big things. And even if it's not much, there's a filly here who would appreciate anything you have to offer."
"Heh." Amber chuckled and wiped her eye. "Well, I'll have to pay her a visit, then. Though I never stole her future and ruined her life, so I'm hardly in the same position as Willow."
"You keep looking up," Valey remarked, the stars beginning to show in the twilight above. "Who do you remember Willow looking up to? You think she was trying to live up to someone else?"
"I really don't know," Amber sighed. "But someday, I'll meet her again and make her proud. Anyway." She shook her mane. "Valey... I really appreciate this. You've grown a lot since... well, Chrysalis. Thanks."
"Eh..." Valey sheepishly rubbed her neck. "My priorities are different. Look, girl, I might be talking big and playing bold, but in this place, I can afford to. Don't butter me up too hard about how much you like the slightly-reverted me, because I can make all the motivational speeches I want and it won't count for anything once the good times stop and we're back in the fray. Hopefully that won't be for a while, and if we win the lottery it won't be ever, but you can't really say how good I'm doing until the universe punches me again and I have to get back up."
Amber nodded firmly. "Well, here's hoping these good times don't end for a while. I have a lot of steam to let off."
"I'll say." Valey glanced at the now-empty sports field. "Tip from a pro: play sports, be cool, be coy, make friends but not allies, and bring a towel and sunbathing shades. And eat until your ribs stop showing. I bet you'll be real popular."
Amber's stomach growled, and she looked at it sheepishly. "You want to bet Maple's cooking tonight?"
"Yeah. If she is, you get to be in an eating contest with whoever looks like they need it most."
"Hah!" Amber giggled, a fresh gust rippling through her mane. "Back to our friends, then? We've still got half the island to run."
Valey winked, diving for the staircase and waving Amber along. "It's on!"