//------------------------------//
// Baking Bad 
// Story: Domestic Drabbles of Discord's Dimension 
// by GeekCat 
//------------------------------//

Fluttershy and Discord jumped when a small, pink portal opened up above their table, a small scroll falling out. Fortunately, Discord was able to stretch his arm out and grab it before it landed in the orange juice pitcher. Fluttershy flew over to his side, curious.

"Mail? We haven't gotten mail for quite a while. Who's it from?" she asked. He rolled the scroll over so they could see the wax seal. "From Twilight? Oh, I hope nothing has gone wrong..."

"Well, let's open it and see, shall we?" Discord said, using his claw to break the seal and unroll the scroll. Clearing his throat, he began to read it aloud in an imitation of Twilight's voice.

"Dear Fluttershy and Discord, 

It is my pleasure to invite you both to participate in the first Equestrian Friendship Baking Tournament! This event is open for all to participate, and I would love for all of the Council of Friendship to join! Each contestant or team of contestants will make some sort of baked good (i.e. pie, cake, cookies) and be judged by the Royal Chefs themselves!

The purpose of this contest is to support local businesses, and the winners of each category can pick one organization of their choice to have a donation sent to!" Discord snorted and said in his own voice, "You don't even get to keep the money?"

"Discord...you don't even need money," Fluttershy sighed. "You can make everything you need with magic. And we already have a stockpile of bits in the bank that we never use."

He grumbled, "Well...it's the principle of the thing..." He grunted and quickly read through the rest of the letter.

"List of categories: cakes, pies, cookies, bread and bread-based foods, and other pastries. Looks like that's about it...wait, there's a post-script." He switched back into Twilight's voice. "P.S.: Discord, I know you can make anything with a snap, but you have to actually bake whatever you decide to make, with ingredients that you buy from real businesses. You can use magic when you're baking or decorating, just...try to stay with the spirit of this contest, please?"

He groaned and handed the scroll to Fluttershy. "No magic? What next, I can't invite the Snooze to the Gala?"

She laid her hoof on his shoulder. "Discord, you can still use your magic. You just have to follow the spirit of the competition." She smiled. "Besides, supporting businesses is a good thing to do! We can get everything we need from Ponyville market, and spend the day baking together! Doesn't that sound fun?"

A ghost of a smile appeared on his face. "Well...maybe. When is this tournament, anyway?"

She glanced through the scroll. "Next month. If we baked something early, could you preserve it with your magic?"

He smirked. "I could...But are you sure that's in the spirit of the contest?," he said teasingly. She elbowed him in the ribs, biting her lips to keep from smiling. Discord was now clutching his side and bemoaning his cruel lot in life, biting his tongue to keep from laughing.





"How about a chocolate cake?," Fluttershy asked a few weeks later. The two of them were lying on the couch, reading their own books.

"Hmm?," Discord said, glancing over at her.

"A chocolate cake. For that contest," she said, shifting closer to his side. "It wouldn't be too hard to make...and you like chocolate, right?" She nuzzled her head against his chest.

He lifted his arm and stroked her mane, giving her a small scratch behind her ears. "Yeah...but it seems a shame to make a cake and not be able to eat it ourselves."

She cooed and leaned into his touch. "We could take what's left home after the contest, or we could make a second one for ourselves. Unless you don't want to participate?"

He sighed. "I've...never baked anything myself before. Not without using magic." He tapped his fingers together. "So, the end result might not be...all that good."

She sat up and placed a hoof on his back. "Don't worry. We'll do this together." She leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Besides, we can still have fun, even if it's not good."

With a chuckle, he sat up, holding her against his chest. "Alright, you've convinced me. A chocolate cake it is!" He released her and stood up, while she hovered in the air. "I'll let Twilight know we're in. Can you find a recipe?"

She nodded and flew into the hall, heading for the closet door to her cottage. She saw Discord pull a piece of paper and a peacock quill out of his ears and start to scribble quickly.

After a few minutes of searching in her files, she finally found an old recipe for a chocolate cake. She grabbed it and went back home, just in time to see a Discord breathe a small plume of green flame onto his scroll, which disappeared in a trail of smoke.

"There. Twilight should know we're making a cake," he said. "Now, I'm guessing that that's the recipe?"

She nodded and read the paper. "It seems simple enough. Just a few ingredients, and easy directions."

Discord summoned a glittery notepad and pink glitter pen. "Shall we make a shopping list, then?"

"Alright. We just need butter, sugar, eggs, flour, baking cocoa, baking soda, salt, milk, and frosting." Discord quickly scribbled everything down and tore the small piece of paper out of the notepad.

"I'll stick it on the fridge," he said. She grabbed his arm before he could fly off.

"Or we could go get everything now. The market should be open today. Just let me grab my bits, and—" Discord snapped his fingers, and two coin purses appeared in his hands. "Oh, thank you. Shall we be off?"

He smiled and bent at the waist, offering her his arm. She took it, smiling, and with a snap of his fingers, they appeared in the middle of the marketplace. She gazed around, marveling at how much had changed. Where there were once stands only run and visited by ponies, now there were all kinds of creatures crowding in the square: griffons, kirin, and changelings were some of the first she spotted.

A few creatures jumped at their sudden appearance, but quickly went back to their business. Residents had adjusted somewhat to the fact that Discord would appear suddenly at times. "First is...butter!" Discord read, his head snapping up and twisting in all directions. "Now, where would we find that..."

"From someone who sells dairy. We can get the milk there, too," she told him. He pointed in the direction of a stand and took off, dragging Fluttershy along with him. She laughed.





Fluttershy sighed and took a seat in Sugar Cube Corner. Visiting the market with Discord was...different. From convincing him that yes, he had to wait in line, no, he could not take "free samples" from the cocoa stand, and NO, that was not what she meant by flour, stay out of ponies' gardens!—the shopping had taken quite a while.

But he had meant well, even if he didn't quite understand how shopping worked. They had gotten almost everything without too much trouble, and even when he had made trouble, none of the shoppers, vendors, or garden owners seemed mad.

Discord had teleported home with their supplies, while she decided to rest and wait for him in Sugar Cube Corner. Pumpkin Cake came by and asked if she needed anything, which she politely declined. As the teen unicorn walked away, she felt the air shift behind her and a strong arm wrap around her shoulders.

She leaned against Discord's chest, tilting her head up to look at him. "Everything's put away?" she asked. He smiled and nodded, stroking her mane with his claw. "...And the eggs, butter, and milk are in the fridge?"

He grinned. "Why, of course! I remembered that eggs are definitely supposed to be in the fridge, and certainly not in warm places..." She saw him snap his tail feathers. She sighed, but smiled up at him, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

A cough from the counter made them look over. Pumpkin Cake was standing there, a blush on her face, trying to avoid eye contact with them. Both of them blushed bright red, and Fluttershy's wings beat quickly as she pulled away from Discord.

The two approached the counter. "Pumpkin Cake, what kinds of frosting do you have left? We're baking something for the tournament," Fluttershy said.

Discord pulled off his antler and pulled out a flyer inside. "Apparently, cakes can get bonus points for how they're decorated, as well as how they taste," he read. "Let's see...for colors, I'll need pink, definitely. Blue, green, red...maybe some yellow? Oh, we'll need edible glitter and sprinkles, too."

Pumpkin frowned. "Um...we don't have any of those colors left. Or sprinkles."

Discord deflated. "Oh...well, what colors do you have? C'mon, give me something to work with, here."

"We have...white." Silence. "Oh, and edible glitter! We still have that in all colors."

Discord sighed, pressing his fingers against the bridge of his nose. "One color. One. Plain. Color. That's all you have left?"

Pumpkin nodded, frowning. "Yeah. Pinkie and Cheese have been 'experimenting' with their cake." A crash came from the kitchen, and a large glob of something covered in a rainbow of frosting flew out, splattering against the wall. She sighed. "I'll be back in one second, okay?"

As she went to grab cleaning supplies, Discord turned to Fluttershy. "I can't design a masterpiece with one color!" he whispered. "We bought everything else. Can I please just snap up all the decorating goods we need?"

She stroked his cheek. "If anyone can be creative with just one color, it's you."

He huffed and crossed his arms. "I'm sensing that's a polite way of telling me 'no'."

"Maybe a little. But I truly believe you can do something great with anything you're given." He grumbled something under his breath, to which she sighed and shook her head. "And we'll get all the edible glitter they have, and some food dye." He relaxed, his posture loosening the tiniest bit.

Pumpkin Cake was already at the counter. "Shall I ring all that up for you?" Fluttershy nodded. Pumpkin took a look at the supplies and winced. "We, um...only have blue dye left. Do you still want some bottles of that?"

Discord twitched behind her, biting his lip. "Yes, please!" Fluttershy said quickly. She was already counting out the bits as Pumpkin rang her up. As soon as everything was placed on the counter, she thrust her bits at Pumpkin, scooped everything into a bag, and flew up to wrap her forehoof around Discord's arm.

As soon as she was against him, they were teleported into their living room. Discord was twitching, his face red as he bit his lip. She placed her bag carefully on the floor, quickly flying to their couch and grabbing a pillow, bringing it to him.

He grabbed it and planted his face in it. "AAAAUUUUGH!"

She stroked at his back. "I know, I know. I know it's frustrating." Another muffled yell was the only response she got. "Let it all out."





Several minutes later, Discord finally stopped screaming and lifted his head from the pillow. "Feel better?" she asked, still stroking his back.

"A little, I guess," he muttered.

"Why don't you lie on the couch for a bit?" she suggested. He floated over and flopped onto the sofa, pressing his face into the pillow again—this time, without any screaming. She grabbed the bag of decorating items and flew into the kitchen, finding a spot in the cupboards for all of it.

She flew back into the living room, where Discord was still laying down. She landed at his side and began to stroke his back. "I know you can think of something fun and chaotic," she said quietly. "You always do. I believe in you." She pressed her cheek against his own. After a few seconds, his head lifted and he returned the gesture.

"Let's wait on baking that cake until you have an idea," she said, stroking his mane. "I know you were looking forward to decorating it. And we still have a few weeks before the tournament, anyway."

He made a muffled noise. "I'm going to start making dinner. Any requests?" she asked.

"Not cake," he grumbled. She stifled a giggle, ran her hoof through his mane one last time, and headed towards the kitchen.





The next day, Discord seemed to have woken up in a chipper mood. "I have an idea!" he happily informed her as they were eating breakfast. She smiled at him.

"I knew you would. Do you want to bake it today? You can use your magic to preserve it until the tournament, right?"

He nodded. "With ease. But are you free today, my dear?"

She raised a hoof to her chin in thought. "Well...Dr. Fauna is running the sanctuary today. The school doesn't need me for anything..." She looked up and nodded. "If you're ready, we can bake it today."

He practically wolfed down the rest of his breakfast. Seeing his tail and fingers twitching with energy, she encouraged him to wash up and retrieve everything they needed, directing him to the recipe.

She finished up just as he was getting out a circular pan. She washed her hooves, checking to see what Discord had retrieved. He had grabbed two bowls, plus the sugar, salt, flour, baking soda, and cocoa.

"Can you get started?" she asked. "I'll grab the ingredients from the fridge." He squinted at the paper in front of him, grabbing a measuring cup while she turned to the fridge.

She carefully carried the butter, eggs, and milk to the counter. Reading over the recipe, she turned the oven to the correct temperature. Discord had already filled the larger bowl with sugar. She measured out the butter and added it, picking up the wooden spoon. "Can you measure out the dry ingredients in that bowl?" she asked. He tilted his head. "That's everything except for what goes in this bowl, plus the milk," she explained. He nodded and grabbed more measuring spoons, while she carefully mixed the butter and sugar.

Eventually, she had a creamy mixture, and began to carefully crack open her eggs. Discord squinted at the recipe and measuring spoons, carefully adding measurements. She saw him grin and dig a normal plastic spoon into the baking cocoa. "Don't," she warned him.

"Why not? I already added it. And I love chocolate!" he said, shoving the heap of powder into his mouth. His eyes widened, his whole face wrinkling impossibly in disgust.

"...Cocoa is bitter," she said too late. "Ponies add sugar to it. That's the reason chocolate is sweet."

He pulled the spoon out of his mouth, grimacing. "I'm gonna wash my tongue," he said, floating over to the sink and running the muscle under a stream of water. She sighed and carefully mixed in the eggs.

When the mixture reached a smooth, creamy texture, she leaned the spoon against the side of the bowl and turned to the milk. Discord, water dripping from his muzzle, approached and began to quickly mix his own bowl.

"Not too fast!" she said, turning around. "You might spill—" She froze, placing her hoof over her mouth. He was covered in a white powder, a small cloud puffing up from the bowl. He froze, stunned. She tried to stop a laugh, but a small giggle still escaped her.

He narrowed his eyes at her, then slowly grinned. His paw had already drifted towards the bag of flour. "Don't you dare!" she warned.

He grinned wider and threw a ball of flour at her. She sneezed, trying to wave away the cloud of dust.

"Discord! The batter!" she warned. He smirked and tapped at the air in front of the counter. Curious, she reached out, and felt her hoof stopped by an invisible force. The flour in the air was settling against the floor and barrier, leaving their batter untouched.

She sighed in relief, then turned to him with a grin. "That's it." She flew forward, using her tail to strike the bottom of the flour bag he held. A large cloud of it flew up into his face. He responded by blindly throwing more handfuls in her direction.

With a laugh, she easily dodged, and flew across the room. He followed, also laughing.





Several minutes later, the two of them were a giggling mess on the floor, covered head to hoof in flour. "I think we got a little off-track," she said with a giggle.

He smiled and stroked her mane, smearing more flour on her forehead with his thumb. She scowled and lightly pushed his hand away. "That was fun, though," he said, flopping back onto the floor, causing a white cloud to form around them.

She nodded. "We should probably get back to baking, though." He snapped his fingers, and all of the flour on them and the room flew out of the window in a great, floating stream. "Thank you."

She got back onto her hooves, Discord following closely behind her. She leaned forward slightly, squinting at the recipe. "Okay...if you're happy with how the dry ingredients are mixed, we need to add that and the milk to this bowl," she read, tapping at the rim of said bowl.

Just as Discord picked up his bowl, she quickly added, "Not all at once! We'll do it in small amounts, switching behind the milk and the dry things."

He paused, then set the bowl down. "Maybe you should pour it in. Like I said, I haven't done this, so I'm not sure what you mean by 'small amounts'."

"Alright. Why don't you mix? Just don't do it too fast, or it'll splatter up on us." He nodded and moved behind her, grabbing the spoon. She shifted to the side, grabbed the smaller bowl, and tilted it over the larger one, spooning in some of the ingredients.

He started mixing them in right away. "Is this right?"

She nodded. "Be sure to get it off the sides. And it's best if you do it in a 'folding' motion." She set down the bowl and took his paw, guiding it to fold a portion of the batter on top of another. "Like that."

"Thanks." He copied her motion. She smiled and flew around him, grabbing the milk and pouring some in. The room was quiet aside from the scraping of the wooden spoon against the plastic bowl, as Discord was totally absorbed in mixing.

Soon, everything was a uniform, creamy brown mixture. Fluttershy flew over and grabbed the pan. "All we have to do is pour it into this pan and bake it."

Discord spoke up. "Would levitating the batter right into the pan be against the 'spirit' of this?"

She tapped her chin in thought. "Well...I suppose not. And pouring can take some time, so it probably would be best..." The batter was already being lifted in a golden aura and gently placed down, perfectly smooth, into the waiting pan. "Thank you. Can you get started on the dishes while I put this in?"

"Already on it," he replied, throwing the bowls and spoons out the window, using a baseball glove to catch them as they flew back inside, clean. She smiled and set the batter in, setting a timer shaped like a large chicken egg.





The timer cracked open, releasing a small yellow chick. It began chirping loudly, demanding attention. The couple looked up from their jigsaw puzzle and flew over to the oven.

Fluttershy gently stroked the chick's head. "Hello, there," she cooed. Discord summoned up a pair of neon orange oven mitts, opened the oven, and pulled out the cake.

He set it down on top of the oven, using his tail to turn said oven off. His mitts disappearing, popping like soap bubbles, and he rubbed his hands together. "Time to see what I can do with this," he said gleefully.

"Discord, you need to wait for the cake to cool," she said, scooping the chick into her hooves.

He grunted and pointed a finger at the cake. Lowering his thumb, a soft hiss of air came from his hand, and the cake appeared to steam noticeably less. With his claw, he laid some parchment paper on the counter, while he used his paw to levitate the cake out of the pan over to the counter.

As the baking ingredients floated out of cupboards and in front of him, she smiled. "I'm going to introduce this little one to the rest of the chickens," she said. "Could you make a new timer, please?"

He reached into his ear and pulled out a music box with a clock on top, plopping it down next to the oven. "Thank you." She flew forward and kissed his cheek. "Good luck. I know you'll make something amazing." He smiled softly as she flew out of the room.





Discord and Fluttershy appeared in the Canterlot Gardens in a flash of bright light. Discord held a shimmering blue bubble in his hands.

Twilight spotted them immediately and hurried through the forming crowd towards them. "Discord, Fluttershy!" she exclaimed, wrapping a wing around each of them. "I'm so glad that you could participate. Your spot is right over here!"

She guided them to a row of tables that was filled with cakes of all kinds. One cake was triple-tier, each level frosted with a different pattern of different colors. The name plate in front read "Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich".

"I guess their experimenting paid off," Discord said, prompting a smile from Fluttershy.

Twilight smiled at the two of them. "I can't wait to see what you've made. Rainbow Dash and Applejack made a pie," she pointed to a sad-looking pastry on the opposite table, "Spike made gem muffins, and Rarity tried her hoof at cupcakes." She pointed out the table across the cake table, where there sat a plate of sparkling muffins and elegantly frosted cupcakes. "I'm a bit disappointed I couldn't participate, but I am looking forward to being a judge!"

The three of them came to an empty spot where Fluttershy and Discord's names were written down. Discord gently set down the bubble, which silently popped when it came in contact with the table. Twilight gasped softly.

The cake looked like a miniature winter wonderland. White frosting mixed with glitter made up the snow, which peaked and dipped to form snowdrifts. Slightly off-center was a smooth, crystal-clear frozen lake of light blue frosting.

But the most unique thing was the tiny, moving figures of Fluttershy and Discord, bundled up in hats and scarves as they tromped through the faux snow.

"Discord," Twilight said, "It's beautiful, but I don't know how I feel about cutting this cake with..." She gestured to the tiny Discord, who was helping the tiny Fluttershy put on ice skates.

Discord grinned. "Don't worry, Twilight. They're just a small illusion, and they'll disappear as soon as someone gets close enough." He waved his paw just above the cake, causing the skating figures to flicker in and out of existence. "I mean, they might alter the frosting a little, but that's just chaos magic for you."

Twilight sighed in relief. "The judging will start in a few minutes. Take a look around! You won't be able to hang around the tables the judges are at." The two of them nodded, and began to move through the crowd, looking at several submissions.





After several minutes of waiting, the judges started going along the pies table, taking notes as they went. The cast of judges included Twilight, a unicorn, earth pony, and pegasus they didn't recognize, a dragon, and a changeling.

Discord had watched for the first few minutes, interested, before losing interest and wandering around the gardens. Fluttershy watched the judging and talked with her friends, keeping one eye on Discord at all times.

More time passed, and the judges announced they would start on the cakes. Discord appeared by her side in a flash, startling a few creatures. He placed a paw on her shoulder, and she felt it shake as the judges came closer to their cake.

The unicorn was the first to reach it. Raising an eyebrow at the figures building a snowpony, he raised a knife with his magic and took a small sliver of cake. The illusions vanished, and he took a small bit of the cake.

He immediately spat it back out, face wrinkled in disgust.

Fluttershy and Discord looked at each other while the judge scribbled furiously on his clipboard. "...Maybe he just has bad taste?" he said to her hopefully.

The rest of the judges went by. The pegasus spat her bite out, too. The earth pony looked displeased, but still swallowed her bite. Twilight forced a grin, but casually spat the cake put into a trash can when less eyes were on her. The changeling ran to the same trash can, gagging.

It was while the dragon judge took a bite when Discord froze, his eyes widening. "Discord?" she said quietly.

He laughed breathily . "You know how I measured the first ingredient, and you mixed it with the butter?" She nodded. "Was that, by any chance, supposed to be the sugar?"

Her own eyes widened, while the dragon jotted down her thoughts. "Discord...what did you do?"

He tapped his fingers together. "That...was actually the salt. A lot of salt," he admitted, "And I mixed the sugar in with the dry ingredients...as the amount of salt that was supposed to go in. So...the cake has more salt than sugar."

She sighed, placing a hoof against her forehead. He added, "In my defense, they're both white, sparkly powders."

She snorted, then started giggling. He joined in her laughter, and the two of them leaned against each other, chortling. After a minute or so, they sat down to catch their breath, still leaning against each other.

He pointed his thumb towards several colorful patches of flowers. "Since we know I've ruined our chances of winning...we don't we take a look at the gardens?" She nodded, and he helped her back onto her hooves. The two snuck off to wander around the gardens together.





"It was nice of them to let us keep the cake," Fluttershy said as they entered their house.

"I'm pretty sure they just didn't want to be the ones to deal with it," Discord said, setting the cake on the counter. He snapped his fingers and created a knife. "I'm actually curious how bad it is."

"Cut me a slice, too, please," she said. "I'm curious too."

He cut two small slices and placed them on neon green plates. A fork materialized by her hoof as she sat down, and he placed the plate in front of her. She waited for him to take his seat before digging her fork in, and the two took the first bite together.

She spat it out, her gag reflex kicking in at the sheer saltiness.

Discord, on the other hand, smiled and took another bite. "I think it's good," he said, taking yet another bite. She smiled and slid her plate over to him.

He glanced between his two plates, and the empty space in front of her. He snapped his fingers, and a slice of chocolate cake covered in white frosting appeared in front of her. She cautiously took a bite.

Her lips curved into a smile, as this cake was perfectly moist and sweet.

"If I could have done that," he said, "We could have won that contest. Or at least tied with Pinkie and Cheese."

She shook her head, chuckling. "But we had fun, didn't we?" He crossed his arms, but still nodded, taking another bite of salty cake. She smiled and continued eating her own cake.