The Stuff of Legends

by Harvs

Chapter 4 - A-Rival in Sector Q

"They found the tunnel, am I correct?" A four-legged figure asked. It stood in the shadows of a stone hallway.

"Yes. They are on schedule." A man said, also hidden in the shadows. "They will be arriving in Sector Q any moment now."

"Excellent. And the dead weight?"

"Taken care of."

"Then the plan is moving along nicely. Soon we shall have our reward."

The six walked along a hazardous wasteland, careful not to step in the murky, green water. They had exited the tunnel not but a few minutes ago only to find what appeared to be the ruins of a city. The area was littered with crumbling stone towers and a larger tower in the center. But it too had seen better days.

In the distance, they could see a single hut that stood on a pillar of earth. But its architecture was different from everything else, indicating that it had been built long before any of the ruined buildings.

"Did we accidentally go to a different planet?" Vinyl Scratch asked rhetorically, careful to not get too close to the disgusting water.

"If Captain Planet wanted a 'perfect planet'," Yakko started, running his hand along a stone wall. "why did he pick this place?"

"Mmph hmm mmhmmph..." The Pyro muttered from the back of the group.

"Do you even know where we're going Sephy?"

The one winged angel stood elevated on one of the wrecked buildings, studying the surrounding area. He didn't answer Vinyl's question, but rather continued investigating.

The unicorn let out a sigh, turned to the others, and said, "Does anypony have an idea of where to go?"

"Hhmm hmmph mm. Mm mm hmmhmmph. Mmph hmm."

Silence. All but Sephiroth just stared blankly at the Pyro.

"I'm sure if we could understand you," GLaDOS began, "We'd all laugh at how stupid that idea is."

"There." Sephiroth called out to the others, pointing over a few islands away. He had finally found what he had been looking for. In the distance, they could make out a giant metal wall with a small doorway located at the base. "Obviously, there's something on the other side."

He jumped off his perch and rejoined the others. "Come on, we have to get moving."

"I agree. This place is disgusting." Vinyl seconded, still levitating her bass cannon above the muddy ground below.

"I see..." Captain Planet sighed, crossing his arms and shaking his head. "Unfortunate about Leeroy."

"They're stronger than we originally thought." Will replied.

"Perhaps using your powers to enhance Leeroy's abilities wasn't such a good idea. It made him even more reckless than before." One of the figures closer to the Captain said.

"A casualty is still a casualty." The Captain replied. "The loss of Leeroy is heartbreaking, but we'll have to carry on. What other news have you Will?"

Will nodded and said, "The heroes were last seen entering Sector Q."

"Really?" He asked, genuinely surprised. He stroked his chin and smiled a bit. "Hmm... maybe we can use this to our advantage."

"Sir?"

"While Sector Q is of no use to us..." He addressed the silent figure sitting at the far end of the table. "You know what to do."

The figure nodded and dematerialized. As soon as he did, one of the computers in the back of the room lit up and opened a program. Within seconds, the program closed and the computer turned off again.

"In the meanwhile, Doctor, have you made any progress on the replacement for Sector Q?" Captain Planet asked, turning to the group again.

"Of course sir."

"Then tell your men to move tonight. The heroes will be finished off by then, and we can move forward with our plan-et."

The gears in the center of the door rotated clockwise until the lock was undone and the two halves of the door disappeared into the walls. The group passed through and stood now in a small ditch. But from what they could tell, they had entered a gigantic city.

When they reached the higher ground, they saw even more of the city. And though it was in better shape than the outside, it was still polluted and inhabitable.

"What a dump." Vinyl said, looking around the trashed city.

The others had to agree, this was a rather imperfect city. As they walked down the road, they noticed that the houses were built right up against the wall and even on top of other houses, with numerous floating vehicles of various shapes and colors dotting the streets.

The city itself looked as if it had been through a war. There were many craters in the ground and parts of buildings that had been destroyed.

"Well while we're here," Sephiroth began, looking around the abandoned block. "We might as well look around and see if we can find anything useful."

The group turned the corner and were greeted with more of the same. Empty streets except for the occasional vehicle, homes piled on homes, and the feeling of despair all around. But as they continued moving, something caught their ears. The sound of walking, but not ordinary feet. The footsteps sounded mechanical.

The footsteps grew louder until from around a corner, a group of five red robots appeared. Two of them had four legs, a center eye, and no guns. Another two hovered a few feet in the air and were armed with a center eye and two small guns. And the last one stood upright like a human, its hands replaced by large twin lasers.

"What the..." Yakko said, losing his train of thought when the big one fired a light-red laser at them, just barely missing.

"Hey! What did we do to you!?" Vinyl shouted angrily.

"They're hostile!" Sephiroth yelled, quickly deflecting another laser with his sword. "Move! Quickly! Head back to the-"

He was cut off by the Pyro rushing the incoming robots. While the big one focused on the swordsman, the Pyro broke through their defense, jumped over the four legged bots, and performed a 360 vertical chop to one of the aerial sentinels, killing it instantly.

"You're not the only one who can fight Sephy!" Vinyl called out, her horn beginning to glow light-blue.

"What are you doing? Get out of-" Again, he was cut off mid-sentence. A blue sphere appeared around one of the four legged bots, halting its movement. Vinyl summoned her magical abilities and compressed the sphere, crushing the robot inside of it.

Suddenly, an unfamiliar tune began to play out of nowhere. The others in the group looked around until they saw Yakko bobbing up and down in rhythm as the other four legged bot approached him. "Yakko, what are you doing! Run!" Vinyl called out.

But he just stood there waiting for the robot to come closer. Even more peculiar. He began singing.

And like clockwork, a huge black anvil fell from the sky, crushing the robot underneath. "Neato completo yippie!" Yakko said, raising his eyebrows and giving a thumbs-up to the rest of the team.

The second aerial robot was slowly flying around Vinyl's bass cannon where GLaDOS and Latisha lay. "You're almost as annoying as the robots I made." GLaDOS mocked. "Well, at least you can't talk." She then launched one of her connector cables at it. When it made contact, a powerful wave of energy surged through the cable, short-circuiting the robot and causing it to fall to the ground.

The bigger robot fired another shot at the group but once again the laser was deflected by Sephiroth's blade. He then used the sword's incredibly ridiculous length to cut the robot clean in two.

"Ok, it looks like you guys can hold your own after all." Said the one-winged angel. "We need to keep moving though, I'm curious to see where those robots came from."

He took the lead of the group. "There's just no pleasing this guy." GLaDOS whispered to the others. They just shrugged and followed behind him.

"They had to come from somewhere." Sephiroth said, stopping for a moment to let the others catch up. "And if we find out where, we can find whoever is controlling them. Then maybe we can get some-" He stopped just as he turned the corner.

"What is it? What's wrong Sephy...?" Vinyl stopped, her mouth ajar at the sea of red robots just around the corner. And not the small bots either. The humanoid bots held the front line, but hovering overhead were similar robots with jet packs. Littered throughout the robot army were enormous four legged walkers with turrets mounted on their backs.

And just when things couldn't get any more bleak, another robot dropped down from the sky, landing in front of the robot army. This one hovered slightly above the ground, was heavily armored, and was equipped with a razor-sharp saw blade on each side and one more in the front. The blades began spinning and the robot began to move forward.

"We're not fighting our way through this one! Run!" Sephiroth shouted, turning 180 degrees and retreating. The rest of the group followed without hesitation.

They ran as fast as they could through the destroyed city, not paying attention to where they were going. As long as they got away from the metal battalion, they didn't care where they ended up.

The group became tired quickly, running at full speed to escape. They needed to find a place to hide, and fast. Suddenly, Sephiroth noticed a large tent up ahead. He looked back and saw the others panting and gasping for breath. It was obvious they had less endurance than he. "In there!" He yelled back at the others, pointing towards the tent.

They quickly entered the tent, exhausted from being chased through the city. Sephiroth peeked through the doorway to see if they had been followed. Thankfully, the metallic army was nowhere to be seen.

"We'll rest here. I don't think they'll be able to find us." Sephiroth said, taking a seat with the others. The tent was crowded with a wide array of various assorted knick-knacks and doo-dads. In the back there stood a large tiki mask with purple smoke flowing out of the mouth. Other things such as bowls, candles, and treasures surrounded the walls of the tent, making it much smaller than it looked on the outside.

"What were they Sephy?" Vinyl asked, still catching her breath.

"I have no idea." He answered.

The group sat in silence for a long while, until they could hear the sound of footsteps outside.

"Who's there?" Yakko whispered. "Do you think it's those tin-plated goons again?"

"I don't think so..." Sephiroth said, listening closely. "They don't sound mechanical."

The footsteps grew louder, and soon they could hear muttering from the other side.

"... last time I ever try to make my own sandwich..."

They looked at one another, puzzled at what they thought they heard. Finally, a short man entered the tent, his eyes fixated on the ground. He was holding a BLT in one hand and a crowbar in the other. He wore a black shirt that said 'JERK' in bold white letters, and his hair was a short black mess. Trailing right behind him was a small gray cat with even messier fur.

"I swear, it's impossible to find decent sandwich ingredients anywhere in this worthless city." He muttered again, still staring down at the ground, an angry glare on his face.

Just as the six were wondering if he was even going to notice them, he looked up and found himself face to face with Yakko. The two stood there in silence, not moving a muscle.

"Ah!" The short man yelled. "What are you doing in my house!? Get out!" He raised his crowbar in one hand, ready to maim the intruder.

Before he could swing, Sephiroth grabbed hold of the weapon and said. "I don't think so."

The man turned and met eyes with the one winged angel as well as the rest of the group, the Pyro giving a friendly wave.

"Great. A traveling circus." The man sighed sarcastically. "And give me back my crowbar!" He tugged against Sephiroth's grip, but couldn't pull it free.

"Do you think he's working with Captain Planet?" GLaDOS asked the others. "Perhaps he was the one in control of those robots that attacked us."

"What are you talking about?" The man asked, still trying to take his bar back. "I don't even know who Captain Plant is!"

"Likely story." Sephiroth said, reaching for his sword with his free hand.

"No wait!" He searched the room for a way out. "If you let me go... I can tell you who really was behind the robots! Just give me a chance to explain!"

"Wait Sephy, I think he may be telling the truth." Said the white pony before he was able to draw his weapon.

He turned to her, "What makes you think that?"

"Well for one thing he didn't even say the name correctly, and second, we can't just go around threatening everypony we see."

Sephiroth sighed, but released his grip on the crowbar. "Alright, so explain yourself. Who are you and why are you here?"

The man, who had gotten as far away from the six strangers as he could, looked over at them and said, "Now wait just a minute! Who do you think you are just bursting into my house, threatening my life, and then expecting me to help you? If anything I should be the one asking the questions!"

"He does have a point." Yakko said to the others.

"We should at least give him the benefit of the doubt." Vinyl added.

"Hmmph mm mmph."

"Alright, fine." Sephiroth surrendered.

The man gave a small grin. "Alright, so why are you here?" He demanded.

Sephiroth stepped up and answered. "We were being chased by an army of red robots. We managed to escape, but we needed a place to rest for a while. We saw this tent, but didn't expect anyone to live-"

"Wait wait wait wait!" The man interrupted. "These robots... were you 'afraid' of them?"

The angel exchanged confused looks with the others. "Um... I suppose, but I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"Excellent!" He exclaimed to himself. "I'm close!"

"Close... to what?"

"The name's Dan. I've spent the last two months tracking down 'The Essence of Fear Itself' to exact my revenge on it. I figured this city would be a good place to look next."

The group just stared at Dan in silence trying to understand what he meant by that. He ignored their confused looks, sat down at a small table in the corner of the tent and began to eat his sandwich. As he took his first bite, a tomato slice fell out from the inside and landed on the ground.

"Awww..." Dan groaned in dismay. He then pulled out a small book from his pocket, flipped it open about halfway, and uncapped a pen. The group could see a bunch of random words written down in the book, most of them having been crossed out. "Gravity..." He muttered, scribbling down the word as he said it.

He closed the book and put it back in his pocket, then turned his attention back to the six strangers, who were still waiting for an explanation. "My plan is simple. I sell weapons, well I've been trying to sell weapons. So I can save up money to buy a bigger weapon. But you're the first people I've met since I got here." Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. "Say... you guys wouldn't be interested in buying anything, would you?"

"Wait," Vinyl started, still confused. "don't you care who we are?"

"As long as you buy some stuff, I couldn't care less who you are."

Sephiroth stroked his chin, thinking about their encounter with Leeroy. "Actually, we could use some upgrades." He walked closer to Dan. "What do you have?"

"I'm glad you asked." He replied, reaching for a cardboard box underneath the table. "I've got just the thing for you: dental floss!"

Sephiroth facepalmed, mumbling something about Dan being incompetent, when GLaDOS spoke up, "Do you have anything a bit... better?"

Dan threw the floss over his shoulder, not caring where it ended up, and searched the box again. "How about a stack of old records?"

The unicorn's face lit up and she quickly approached Dan. "I'll take those! Just wait 'til I show Tavi!" She levitated the folder of six vinyls from Dan's hand and examined them.

"Alright, I got this dumb computer adapter thingy." He continued, holding up the small electronic device for everyone to see.

"An adapter?" GLaDOS repeated. "Is it compatible with potatoes?"

"How should I know?!" Dan exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "You want it or not?"

"It may come in handy." Sephiroth said, taking it from Dan.

Dan ignored his words and went back to looking in his arsenal. "Let's see, vintage wine glass, no. Chris' car keys, no. Paddle-ball, no..." He threw all of the 'weapons' behind him, digging through the box.

"Hold on," Yakko said, stopping Dan. "Did you say paddle-ball?"

"I don't know, I'm not paying attention!"

Yakko walked behind Dan to the growing pile of useless junk and grabbed the paddle-ball. He immediately started playing with it and said, "This'll do nicely. I'll take it!"

"Whatever." Dan sighed. "Safety scissors, nope. Yoyo, no." As he neared the bottom of the box, Sephiroth still had not found anything of real use. Until Dan pulled out an old piece of parchment. A single word was written on the paper, and just before Dan threw it into the useless pile, Sephiroth snatched it from his hand.

"Hey!" Dan shouted, though it didn't do much good. Sephiroth just ignored him.

"Where did you get this?" He asked, examining the page.

"I don't know. I can't even read it. My cat, Mr. Mumbles thinks it's written in Salvatian."

"I'll take it." He rolled up the piece of paper and stored it in a small pouch on his person.

Dan examined the last two members of the group, his box emptied now. "You don't really look like you need anything." He said pointing to the Pyro, who just shook his head. "And I don't really have anything for a half-eaten taco, unless..." He remembered the tomato slice that had fallen out of his lunch and picked it up off the ground. "What about this?"

The Pyro looked down at Latisha and said, "Hmm hmmmph?"

Silence.

He then turned to Dan and nodded. "Mmhmm."

"Yeah ok." He shrugged, handing the tomato slice to the Pyro who placed it inside Latisha's shell.

"Alright, so how are you going to pay for all this?" Dan asked, refilling the box and pushing it back under the table.

In truth, they hadn't even thought about that. "Sorry Dan," Vinyl started, "we don't have any money."

"Well then why am I doing business with you!? Gimme my stuff back!" Dan demanded, looking even angrier than before. Just then, something shiny caught his eye. He turned to the Pyro to see him pulling three bars of solid gold out of his rubber suit.

"I think those will do nicely." Dan said, his glare fading.

"Hmm?" The Pyro questioned, unsure why the man wanted the chocolate bars he had taken from the magical candy-land they had recently gotten out of. As Dan grabbed hold of one of the bars, the Pyro pulled back, not wanting to share his tasty treats.

"Pyro, let go of the gold." Sephiroth commanded.

"Mmm!"

"Give Dan the gold." He tried again.

The Pyro sighed in sadness and released his grip on the candy. Disappointed, he turned to Sephiroth who was already leaving the tent. The rest of the group and Dan followed him out.

As the Pyro exited the tent, wishing he still had his chocolate bars, he looked around their surroundings and saw something in front of one of the abandoned buildings that caught his attention. It was a giant candy-cane sticking out of the ground.

"Hmm hmmph mm mmph hmmhmm!" He exclaimed, pointing at the candy-cane.

The others turned to look at him, then at the thing he was pointing at.

"That's what you want?" Asked Dan, exasperated.

"Mhm!" Replied the Pyro, nodding his head vigorously.

"Well you're out of luck, that's not even mi-" An evil grin appeared on his face and he let out a small chuckle. "Wait right here." He said to the group as he walked off-screen. The group heard a few strained grunts, followed by the sound of splintering wood.

Dan walked back to the rest of the group holding a mailbox in his hands. It was green, with a red flag that stood upright, and the number 606 painted on the side. "So how are you planning on paying for this?" He asked. "You got any more money?"

The Pyro thought about it for a second, then held his lollipop out to Dan. "Hmm?"

"Works for me." Said Dan, trading items with the Pyro. "Well it's been a pleasure doing business with all of you." He continued, but was quickly interrupted by Sephiroth.

"We aren't done just yet, you still have to tell us what you know about those robots."

"Yeah... about that," Said Dan slowly. "I lied. I actually don't know anything about them, but I do know a place where you're sure to find some answers."