Chaos Boogaloo
More horrible shipping... just shameful really
The former Queen Chrysalis laid on a mattress on the cave floor, struggling to force herself to wake up from the extremely plush mattress made to appear out of nowhere by none other than her magical partner. She rubbed the afternoon gunk out of her eyes and rolled over to see the smiling Discord staring back. The two just stared deeply into each other's eyes neither one saying a word at first. The silence was broken by Chrysalis who quietly whispered one word, "damn!"
"Is that all you have to say darling," Discord smirked back at his lover, "you were doing a whole lot of screaming about twelve hours ago."
"Discord, I don't even have to say anything else," Chrysalis smiled as she gracefully lifted her hoof up to brush an extremely long eyebrow hair out of his face. "Did we really sleep until noon again?"
"Darling noon was some three hours ago," Discord slowly pulled himself up from the bed, "I believe you have been one lazy changeling today." He slowly walked over to a bathroom he had set up magically in order to keep the impromptu apartment clean.
"Is it just me or does this place look different?" Chrysalis looked around the cave she and Discord had been staying in for the past week or so. It had been adorned with full furnishings like a proper Manehattan apartment, everything from furniture to potted plants to a good sized tv made the damp place feel like a home.
"Yes actually, I stayed up late and did all this after you passed out," Discord smiled as his lover sat up to survey her surroundings. "So what do you think about our first apartment, I figure that since we have been living in here for the past week and a half that I would just spruce up the place a bit. You know we needed something other than sex to keep entertained, especially since you pass out for a minimum of six hours afterwards."
"Look sex is not only physically exhausting, but for me it's like performing the same feat wile dining at an all you can eat buffet," Chrysalis explained, "by the end of it I'm physically exhausted, stuffed to the brim full of nutrients, and in need of a good amount of rest time."
"Well dear I guess if that's the case we need to lay off for physical health reasons," Discord explained, "you need to be in peak physical condition if anything were to ever result of all this. Besides, I went ahead and did the whole place up like a chique modern penthouse in Manehattan, we even have Hooflix to keep us occupied."
"I suppose I haven't been getting nearly enough exercise," Chrysalis moved enough to just look at her flank which had grown slightly larger since the beginning of the experience with Discord. It was not enough for him to care, but on her frame even a small amount of weight was very visible. "And I definitely like this style a lot more than that overly lavish Canterlot crap. Bleh, you would think the richest elites would define taste as being more than just 'let's see how many jewels we can cram on any object'. My only question is what the hell is Hooflix?"
"Only the richest of ponies have access to it love," Discord stated as he watched Chrysalis twinge slightly just from him even stating the word love, "you can watch every single movie ever made from every civilization on this planet. We can even get into yoga so the sex will get even better."
"You know, this is way too much and all of this love is just turning me into a butterball," Chrysalis began to frown as she felt a small layer of fat around her middle, "I really hate being this lazy fatty I'm starting to become and it bugs me that you are just all ok with it."
"Darling I will love you until the end of time," Discord claimed as he walked back to his lover, "I wouldn't do this just for some floosy with a physical thing, you know this is love."
"Sweetie, I'm really not trying to bother you but every time you talk about how much you love me it's like eating again. With how sweet you are I might become a diabetic." Chrysalis was pleased when Discord got her horrible joke and uttered a soft chuckle.
"Well it that's the case I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you… do you need insulin yet?" Discord playfully teased as he put his paw and claw around his love and began to tickle her endlessly, "I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you."
"Hahahaha, please stop Discord, hahahah" Chrysalis tried to gasp between her laughing only for Discord to briefly back off, "this is seriously like force feeding me right now."
"I don't think you can get off that easy," Discord showed a devious grin before he continued with the tickling, "I love you I love you I love you I love you."
"Hahaha you evil bastard hahaha," Chrysalis gasped for air between her laughter as the tickling continued.
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One would like to believe that the rest is history, but that's just not how it works. Chrysalis and Discord continued their stay in the cave for about four months, leading the life of a normal couple with nearly unlimited magical powers. Chrysalis would work out on a treadmill for an hour every day, and immediately lose any progress with sex. The couple watched countless movies, having more sex after every horrible romantic comedy, and fear sex after the cupcakes movie (which had scared Chrysalis right into Discord's arms, it does work bronies). Chrysalis would sleep for upwards of fifteen hours every day, leaving Discord with enough free time for anything he wanted to do, of course followed by more sex. The two had never been happier.
Then one day when Discord was watching the movie Friday for the thirteenth time, a strange sound came from inside of one of the dark areas of the cave. Discord stood up and screamed, "show yourself," before clapping his paw and claw together and causing the entire cave to illuminate as if by a system of well-placed lamps. He stared in shock at the pony standing on the other side of the cave. "Celestia," he stated in disbelief as the slender white alicorn approached him.
"Discord, I am so glad that you finally found a way to keep your chaos under control, but I really could use your evil skills right now," Celestia stated quietly as she tried to avoid waking the sleeping changeling, "things have started to go bad."
"How dare you ask me to do you a favor after you sent me," Discord paused and slowly put two and two together, figuring everything out, "you sent me to the oasis on purpose, not to wreak havoc on the changelings or to kill me, but to help me find her."
"That was surprisingly less complicated than I imagined, but yes," Celestia approached Discord, "now the problem in Equestria is not changeling related, it's based on boredom. You see, in recent years ponies have become, well somewhat blasé about everything, which is why I am here. With the changeling threat suddenly gone, every single other nation peaceful with us, and none of the usual minor setbacks we face, the last four months have made my subjects let down their guard too much."
"So how the hell am I supposed to help, Chrys gave up on the evil and she expects me to do the same," Discord frowned at the thought of turning back into the deity of chaos once again.
"I just need you to do me this one favor, and in exchange you two can have one favor from me," Celestia slowly began to smile, "I need you to help stage a coup to bring Chrysalis back into power with her changelings, and gradually influence her to cause a full scale invasion of my kingdom. I know that she will not want to do this if she is aware of the reason, mainly her intense hatred of my family, but I also know that she is horrible at being evil."
"Right I know, so sloppy," Discord added, "in fact I was surprised about how far she actually got the last time she invaded you, of course I heard about it after the fact."
"Discord, if you had planned the attack she would have gotten all the way to Manehattan," Celestia admitted, "there's a reason I have never had to encase anyone else in stone before."
"It does feel good to be bad, and she has been really upset about the ten pounds she gained," Discord considered his options, "but what will you do for me in return."
"When all is said and done I will give you and her an actual penthouse in Manehattan, she can use her changeling powers to just look like another pony and you can still shape shift right?" Celestia asked
"Well yes, but who says we want to live in Manehattan?" Discord sneered.
"Oh a little birdy told me," Celestia smiled as she pulled out her magical orb, "I have seen a lot from the two of you lately."
"Well fine, but if all goes to plan I will have to encase you in stone just to make it look convincing," Discord added, "but do you care to explain just how much you have been spying on us lately Tia?"
"Damn," Celestia whispered
"Damn," Discord stated back in a mixture of shock and anger as the princess turned to leave.
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'I just made a deal with the devil,' Discord thought to himself as he sat on his couch and sipped on some chocolate milk (or more honestly the glass around the chocolate milk). There was no easy way to go about lying to chrysalis, but for their future Discord didn't find it so hard to revert back to his old ways.
"What cha doin?" Chrysalis came up behind Discord and wrapped her hooves around his neck, giving him a hug from behind.
Discord jumped and spilled chocolate milk, which shattered all over the floor as if it were glass. "Sweet Faust you scared the crap out of me," Discord snapped, "next time make a little noise or something, I mean sheesh."
"Well why are you so jumpy all of a sudden, we didn't have a break in while I was asleep did we?" Chrysalis took a seat next to Discord not realizing just how close to being right she was.
"Oh no but I have just been startled all morning dear," Discord replied, "this dream I had, I think it was a bit prophetic."
"Tell me about it," Chrysalis cooed to her lover.
"Well I um we um took back your throne and used the power to overthrow Celestia," Discord turned his head away in shame as he spoke, "I encased her in stone and you smashed the statue with a sledge hammer. Then we ruled the entire planet as co-emperors."
"Wow, that sounds really evil, didn't we give up on being the villains like months ago?" Chrysalis tried to wrap her mind around the thought.
"Well yes actually," Discord grinned and turned his head back to her, "but it is what we are good at. I mean who knows, maybe if we try to overthrow some stuff we can get hired as mercenaries and finally get that penthouse in fabulous Tenpony Tower. I'll even stage the coup d'état for you, all you have to do is take charge of the changelings after I'm done and we can start our operations from there. Now what do you say?"
"Well I say I need to think about this, I mean I really have mixed feelings about going back to causing mayhem, I thought that part of my life was done," Chrysalis replied as she got up to clean up the chocolate chards.
"Oh come on Chrys, you act like this is such a huge deal, we both do this crap all the time," Discord smiled as he put his finger under Chrysalis' chin
"This is a huge deal, and we USED to do that crap all the time," Chrysalis walked away in disgust, "I need to think about this OK!"
"Fine sheesh," Discord frowned as his lover walked out into the hot desert beyond their cavernous apartment.
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"Stupid Discord, stupid evil thoughts," Chrysalis sneered as she strolled out into the scorching heat without a care in the world, "I swear to Faust that this bastard is trying to make me into some fat housewife just so he can turn around and rule the world behind my back." She continued walking out into the hot sun, soon realizing that she was nearing her limit. "Oh sheesh it has been a while since I have been out in this desert," she said out loud without thinking about it, "I need to turn back before I get lost out here."
She had walked too far, almost three miles out into the desert, and now she was stuck in the middle of the heat feeling herself start to lose it. Then suddenly a mirage appeared in front of her. "Hello Chrysalis, I am your subconscious mind," the thing stated as it walked closer to her.
"My subconscious mind looks like Princess Celestia of Equestria," Chrysalis examined the apparition in disgust, "and here this whole time I had thought the evil was out of my system."
"Nope, I represent your repressed hatred for the royal ponies in Canterlot," the fake Celestia claimed, "Discord is right about the need for some vengeance on those ponies."
"Wow, this is seriously pretty weird, are you sure you represent my actual subconscious mind and that this whole thing isn't just some elaborate plot from the real princess?" Chrysalis asked, once again completely unaware of how close she was to the truth.
"Umm I'm your subconscious brought to life by exposure to extreme heat and nothing more." Celestia convincingly saved her lie, "but seriously I know that you still want to rip Cadence limb from limb, punish the royal sisters for their actions, and take over the world. I can guarantee a penthouse suite in Manehattan will come out of this."
"Really? Manehattan you say?" Chrysalis began to perk up.
"And that's all I needed to hear," Celestia chided before lighting up her horn and magically knocking Chrysalis unconscious. "Now I can just magically send her back to the cave and viola, she thinks this encounter was a dream and wants to help Discord take over the world. Then back to Canterlot for a dip in the royal pool, this weather is absolutely unbearable."
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"Oh Day-day, you are such a comically misleading stereotype," Discord chuckled as he continued watching Friday After Next, "oh three movies just aren't enough, I should write Ice Colt and see if he can get the gang back together for a part four."
"Huh?" Chrysalis groggily awoke from her bed, "what the hell happened?"
"Well you spent about four hours in the sun and collapsed as soon as you got into the door darling," Discord lied as he never took his eyes off of the TV, "Oh no Money Mike, watch out for that big bastard coming in the bathroom behind you."
"But I had a dream, this vivid image of Celestia telling me to attack her kingdom, it was the strangest damn thing," Chrysalis claimed as she rolled over and watched the tv for a second.
"Well you know dreams tend to be crazy from time to time," Discord continued his lie.
"Which brings me back to your offer, if you can single handedly bring me back into power with the changelings, I will join you in the conquest of Equestria," Chrysalis grinned as Discord turned off his movie and stared at her with an even bigger grin of his own.
"I guess this means we are back in business," Discord claimed, "tomorrow I will overthrow the Changeling Republic for my favorite little autocrat."
"Discord, just come over here and have your way with me already, I'm hungry" Chrysalis smiled as she rolled over on the bed and awaited some more of Discord's passionate love making.