There was something deeply wrong with the world. Twilight had been betrayed.
Sixteen hours in a library and nothing was any better.
Truly, the darkest of times.
Every book on curses had been read. Every old legend picked over. If this Great and Powerful curse hadn't affected Twilight herself, she never would have believed it existed. There was no sign anywhere in history of it appearing before, nor of any part of the legend Starlight had told her.
Similar curses existed and were well documented, but not this specific one. And every diagnostic spell to search for dark magic affecting her had turned up nothing.
Whatever this curse was, it was both secretive and infuriating.
....Sort of like Trixie.
That thought made Twilight hang her head, tears pricking at her eyes. She and Trixie had never gotten along per se, but they had mended their fences since that first fateful encounter. And that second, worse encounter. ...The third encounter started out pretty lousy too. But! As much as Twilight was loathe to admit it out loud (doubly so because of her new verbal tic), she was going to miss having someone around who kept her grounded with those little snipes and snide remarks. Trixie's distance just outside the circle of friends made her all the more valuable like that - and now she was gone. That thought weighed heavily on Twilight as her mind wandered.
But no. Not right now. Twilight rallied herself, pushing those emotions down. She had a curse to break first - if nothing else, she had to before the funeral. Explaining why she was wearing Trixie's clothes and using Trixie's title at Trixie's gravesite... well, suffice it to say Twilight did not want to have that moment.
But her faithful library had failed her. It was time to bring the big guns out.
Day Court was a dreary affair on most days. Nobles would come in, complain about something petty and pointless, nobles would go out. Everything was painfully rote and predictable, broken up only by the rare petitioner with an earnest problem or freak moment of madness.
Twilight Sparkle came tromping down the carpet, wearing a magician's hat and a star-covered cape. She gave a slight bow to her teacher. "The Great and Powerful Twilight Sparkle requests an audience and your assistance, Princess."
Celestia stared.
Then started clapping her hooves together while giggling.
Twilight's death glare reminded Celestia that she wasn't being as subtle in her joy as she should be, and she cleared her throat. "Oh. Yes. Yes, you're right, my faithful student. Something does seem a bit amiss. Raven?" She turned to her majordomo. "Please adjourn Day Court for half an hour while Princess Twilight and I discuss her concerns?"
Princess Celestia's private study was exactly as one would expect - a beautiful broad room of gold and ivory, lit by towering picture windows to let in the sun from every gleaming angle. In stark contrast to the room's size, it housed but a single table and three chairs - currently occupied by two ponies.
Tea had been brought - but that wasn't what Celestia's attention was on. No, her eyes were on the top of Twilight's head where the pointed hat sat. A hat that Celestia was one hundred percent sure Twilight had taken off when they entered and hadn't picked up again.
Yet it was there. On her head.
"Fascinating."
Twilight shook her head. "Infuriating."
Celestia raised an eyebrow - the years between teacher and student let it speak volumes. Primarily, it said the same thing Celestia voiced: "Twilight, what's going on?"
It had been less than twenty-four hours, but that question still drew a long-suffering sigh. "The Great and Powerful Twilight Sparkle is cursed. Do you remember Trixie?" A nod from the alabaster alicorn confirmed it, though she paused to light her horn for a moment. "Twilight is sad to say that she was... There was an accident. Trixie is.. is gone." Twilight stumbled over the words - it was still hard to believe it had really happened. "But she carried a curse - and now Twilight Sparkle has been given it."
The Princess of the Sun frowned, using it to hide an amused smile. "I see. And this is why you're speaking in the third person?"
"It is the source of the Great and Powerful Twilight Sparkle's current problems, yes." She paused. "The hat and cape are also part of it." Twilight took the hat off again and set it on the table. "Starlight Glimmer told Twilight about the curse, but it doesn't appear in any history or spellbook Twilight Sparkle can find. The Great and-- Twili--" Twilight snarled at her linguistic limitations. "Is there anything you can do to help?"
Rising, Celestia walked over to the largest of the massive windows. She gazed out of it to the great land of Equestria - a place of so many possibilities and such history. "I'm afraid, my faithful student, that I cannot. I have never heard of a curse such as this in all my centuries - and I cannot dispel it. The moment you said you were cursed, I reached out with my magic to find it. I could not - there's the faintest wisp of dark magic, but nothing that I could grasp and try to break. I'm sorry, Twilight. I don't think I'll be of much help on this adventure of yours."
Twilight let out a long sigh. "Twilight Sparkle understands. She-- Princess, are you laughing?"
Instantly, Celestia stopped. "No!" She snickered, trying to keep holding it in. "Mostly not." Another quiet chuckle leaked out. "I'm sorry Twilight, but hearing you talk like that's just so silly! I can't help myself!"
And Princess Celestia, Sol Invictus, Ruler of All Equestria, the Heavenly Mare, Equus Regina, Sun of Suns... fell over in mad laughter.
Twilight Sparkle pursed her lips and glared, attempting to think Princess Celestia to death.
Regicide was prevented by a knock on the door and the head of Raven Inkwell peeking in. "Princess? We have a problem. Your meeting with the Yakistani ambassador is still on-schedule, but an unexpected envoy from the Diamond Dogs has showed up and is demanding to speak with you immediately."
Celestia was on her hooves with a quick roll, her regal demeanor smothering her joy. "I see. That is a problem, Raven." Then - doom. She turned to the Princess of Friendship. "Twilight. I hate to do this given your... current state, but Equestria needs you. I must meet with the Diamond Dogs, but leaving the Ambassador waiting would be an unforgivable slight. And you remember how close we have come to war with them before." Rising to her full height, Princess Celestia loomed. "You must meet with the Ambassador, Twilight Sparkle. The fate of Equestria depends on it."
Fear - and her life - flashed before Twilight's eyes. "But.. but... Princess Luna..."
"Is in the Crystal Empire and shall not return anywhere near in time." Celestia closed that possibility off with deathly finality. "Only you, as Princess of Friendship, can do this task." She set a gentle wing on Twilight's shoulder. "I believe in you."
And with that, she was gone.
Ambassador Inge was getting uneasy. The two Royal Guards in the room could tell, because the yak was examining the refreshments table by giving it small pushes to see how smashable it was. While loudly talking to himself about how smashable the table was.
It was probably rubbing it in that he would glance over and look the Guards directly in the eyes while saying things such as "This table good for pony-made. Yak would have to put in noticeable effort to smash."
Both Guards were relieved when Princess Twilight entered to handle the situation.
She trotted in, wearing a pointed hat and cloak that were covered in stars. "The Great and Powerful Princess Twilight Sparkle has arrived to greet you, Ambassador!"
Both Guards were no longer relieved, as the Princess of Friendship had obviously gone insane.
The massive form of the Yakyakistan ambassador turned slowly - knocking over a chair as he did so. "Great and Powerful pony?"
Internally, Twilight cringed. Damn this curse! "Yes - Twilight Sparkle brings Great and Powerful greetings." She bowed to the yak. "She is most pleased to meet you, Ambassador."
Ambassador Inge stomped closer, looming over the bowing Twilight. "Small purple pony think she greater and more powerful than yak?" Great, stompy legs clad in thick fur flexed.
Twilight's pupils shrank. "N--No! The Great and-- What Twilight Sparkle means to say is not that she is Great and Powerful but that she is Great and Powerful!" She winced as the curse kicked in again. "Together! We all are! Be..because friendship?"
Her vision (and nostrils) filled with yak. "Inge is trusted with greatest of yak responsibilities. To bring yak way of life to ponies, make them better. Purple pony mean that ponies already Great and Powerful without yak help?"
There was no way to see the Ambassador's expression through the thick fur fringe that covered his eyes, but Twilight was pretty sure he was glaring death at her. "No! No, Twilight Sparkle doesn't mean it like that!"
Ambassador Inge ignored her protests. He turned away, tromping over to the refreshments table. "Yak make pony prove powerfulness!"
While Twilight had seen her share of yaks (which was to say, any at all compared to the average pony), what she observed was striking. The Ambassador went airborne in an ease entirely inappropriate for a wingless creature massing more than four pegasii. In mid-air he twirled gracefully, seemingly hanging in the sky as a fur-bearing hurricane. And then he descended - coming to earth like an enraged dragon.
The refreshments table never stood a chance. Century-old ivory-laced birch shards rocketed away from the impact site, pinging off the armor of the two distraught Guards. Then the Ambassador started stomping while repeatedly shouting "YAK SMASH" just to be sure the table was dead.
When it was all over, Ambassador Inge stepped clear of the woody carnage and snorted. "Yak would like to see purple pony great and powerful that."
The gauntlet had been thrown. Backing down would only make more trouble. So Twilight swallowed roughly and steeled herself to try.
To start with? She cast Ratchet's Rapid Repair, causing the destroyed table to fly back together and instantly retake the original shape. It wouldn't be a fair contest if she used a different table and--
"How pony do that?"
Twilight's panic-filled barrage of thoughts screeched to a halt. "Huh? Twilight means.. What?"
Ambassador Inge pointed a hoof at the re-assembled refreshments table. "Yak smash table. Table become unsmashed. How purple pony do that?"
"Twilight cast a repair spell? It's a common cantrip for unicorns and--"
She was interrupted by a yak hug. "Purple pony IS Great and Powerful! With pony help, yaks can smash twice as much with half as many things! Is important principle of economics to do more with less. Yaks and pones will be Great and Powerful together!"
Perhaps, Twilight thought, maybe she wasn't going to accidentally start a war after all.