//------------------------------// // Rides and Results // Story: My Little Problem // by Sedentary Vagabond //------------------------------// Rides and Results Several days had passed since the sandwich mishap and before they both knew it; it was the day of the test. Normally, Don could remember facts, figures, dates, and other things in general, but when it came to applying them to a test, his mind seemed to shut down and he would draw a blank. As he sat in the back of the classroom, he only stared at the desk wondering what will be on the exam. His mulling was interrupted when he heard a loud whisper; “Hey, relax, you’ll do fine!” He only gave a nervous smile and nodded. Their interaction was cut short when the professor walked in. “Hello, I’m sure you all have studied for today’s exam. So, to make sure you have an appropriate amount of time to complete it, I’ll just hand out the test now.” The professor said. “The test is short answer with three essay questions on the back; you are to only answer one essay. If you write two, I’ll take the better answered of the two.” Don got the test and sighed, “Okay, you can do this. You studied, so give it everything you’ve got.” He read the first question: “How did the Spanish assert their leadership on the newly founded colonies in Mexico?” He mulled the question over for a while before he began to panic, “Shoot, I can’t do this, I can’t even remember what I read about this.” He stopped for a moment and looked at Derpy who had a hopeful look as she sent whatever good will she could towards him. “At least try and do your best. If not for yourself, then for her. She is putting in effort helping you after all.” He began to write his answer, and before long he was cruising at a steady pace through the test while she cheered him on. At one point, he looked up and saw she had a small flag in her hoof with the words “Go Don!” scribbled on it and had a small baseball hat with a “D” imprinted on the front. He wasn’t sure if it was the stress getting to him or she was actually doing that. He quickly shook off the distraction and turned his gaze back to the exam. He needed a vacation. Badly. - “So how do you think you did on your test?” She asked. “I have no idea.” He said letting out a sigh. “I answered as much as I could, I guess.” “But did you try your best?” She asked while landing on his knee. “I mean, I didn’t leave anything blank, so I guess I did.” He said while shrugging. “Well, in that case, this calls for a victory muffin!” She said while pulling out two small muffins seemingly from nowhere. She gave one to Don and began to scarf down on her own. He held the muffin on his finger tip and contemplated the probability of the muffin giving him diabetes. After all, this was probably made in some foreign land with only God knows how much sugar. He hoped whoever baked these had the decency to follow the recipe and not spike these to unreal level. “Hey man…” called a familiar voice. “I just… how, why?” “Whoa, where’d you get such a small baked good?” Lewis asked. “Uh, its um… a small…business venture for myself…yeah, Business Venture.” “What are you talking about?” “Shut up, I’m winging it. Let the man work here!” “Winging it, or crashing?” “I call them Micro-Muffins. All of the taste of a full-size muffin baked into a micro-size bite.” There was a brief moment of silence while Don was begging whoever was listening out in the divines that Lewis bought what he just said. “Cool, you go for that man, because that’s what we need in society; more bite-sized things.” “HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!” “Anyways, so word around the office, is that you answered all your questions on that test of yours.” “How could you possibly know that? Are you seriously spying on me?” “I know a guy, but that’s besides the point, I came over here to tell you that the local fall festival is this weekend, you should go.” “I dunno…” “There’ll be food, fun, and I’ll be in the dunking booth.” Don mulled over the prospect of making Lewis fall into a vat of water. “Yeah, maybe, if I have time.” Lewis laughed. “IF you have time? You’re a funny guy, Don. Real funny. I’ll see you there.” “You did this to yourself you know…” “I’m ignoring you.” - Thursday rolled around and Don was back in his usual seat waiting to see the results on his test. “Hello class, as you know, it’s taken me a while to grade these tests. Especially since demons have decided to possess and take out our campus servers. It took me some time to record the grades, normally it would’ve gone faster, but my assistant seems to have taken a leave of absence.” The professor explained after walking in. There was a collective nod and some quietly mumbling to themselves on how they couldn’t connect to the network. Before long, the professor was calling out names to each person so they could pick up their test. “Donovan Lacson.” He called out. Don jumped a bit and slowly got out of his seat. As he walked, he took a quick glance around to his classmates. Most were looking over their exams and looked more or less satisfied with their grade, with maybe one or two confused with their result. He took the test and went back to his seat. Meanwhile, Derpy sat there expectantly. “So, what did you get?” She asked. “I’m not sure I want to find out.” “Why not?” “I don’t know, it feels like this… looming feeling of doom that I’m just going to see the same ‘F’ I’ve seen on nearly everything else.” Derpy got up and put a hoof on his hand. “You tried your best. That’s all you can ask of yourself.” He took a deep breath and flipped over the sheets of paper. He quickly rand down the page and was met with a red… C-plus? He shook his head and double-checked again. The C was still there. “Did you pass?” Derpy asked. “Yeah, I did. Even better than I thought. This is the first time I get higher than D in a long time.” He said with a small smile on his face. - The rest of the day continued on normally, though this time Don stayed awake in class mostly because of his renewed energy from passing, and the slight fear of getting kicked in the face. When the two returned home, he set his backpack down, and sat in his chair. He still couldn’t believe the turn of events today. “So, are you excited about passing?” Derpy asked while landing on his desk. “Yeah, it feels great, and I have you to thank for it.” He said while ruffling her mane a bit with his index finger. “You know what these means right?” “What?” “You owe me a muffin for helping you!” “OH, COME ON!” - The weekend rolled around, and Don’s phone began ringing. He groaned and haphazardly reached for it while cursing whoever it was for calling him early on a Saturday. “H-…hello?” “It’s time to wake up!” A cheery, feminine voice said. There was an awkward pause. “Derpy? Why are you on the-“ He stopped mid-question and looked at his hand. Somehow, he had picked up Derpy by mistake and was using her as a phone. There was another moment of silence as he processed what had just occurred. “Can you call back later? It’s really early.” He then folded her up in a sitting position and set her down before turning over and attempting to go back to sleep. “C’mon, it’s time to get up! Plus, I think you have a message!” “What makes you say that?” “The fact that there’s an envelope on your phone’s screen.” She then grasped the phone in her hooves and hovered it over to him. He peeked out from his blanket and noticed that whoever had called left a voice-mail. He sighed, and grabbed the device. “Hey man, I just wanted to remind you the Fall Festival is today. Be there. It starts at four.” He quickly deleted the message and hung up. “So, what was the message about?” “It was Lewis, reminding me of the Fall Festival today.” He said dismissively. “Fall Festival?! I love Festivals!” She said going wide-eyed with excitement. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna go.” “What?! Why not?!” I don’t know, I just don’t feel-“ “We have to go! You still owe me my muffin for helping you pass! THIS will be my muffin!” There was another brief moment of silence as the two stared at each other. “Fine…” - The two were looking for a parking spot later that day, Derpy was buzzing about his head asking question after question. “Will there be food?” “Yes.” “And games?” “Yes.” “Music?” “Yes.” “What about-“ “Most likely.” “You didn’t even hear that one.” “Well, we’ll find out when we get there won’t we?” It took some time, but they eventually found themselves a place to park. After getting out of the car, the two took time to quickly survey their surroundings. There were a lot of people already making their way from the general area to the where all the activities for the day would be taking place, and judging the size of the crowd, this festival was going to be a success. As they made their way towards the grounds, Don noticed there was a setup of several booths ahead along with a stage where they were currently doing a sound check. “Well, it looks pretty decent.” He thought to himself. - After getting in line and buying some tickets, they proceeded to plan what to do for the afternoon. “So, what do you want to do first?” He asked. “There’s always food, and some games, though they’re more tailored to younger kids…” “Let’s get something to snack on, in fact, we should get muffins!” She said. “You know, I’m not sure they’d have muffins here. I mean, sure, they have cakes and cupcakes, but I don’t know about-“ “Then let’s check.” She said rather forcefully. “Sure, let’s check.” - The pair went from booth to booth looking at all the different desserts and items for sale. To Derpy, this was an amazing sight to see; all the different colors, smells, and people. The atmosphere was certainly different from the one she was used to from the college. Before long they had stumbled upon what they were seeking. “Muffins! I want them!” She said while pointing. “Alright, fine. Which one do you want?” “All of them…” She said in a trance-like state. “Okay, I don’t have enough for all of them. Just pick one or two.” “Fine…” She pouted. She took a full minute looking at all the pastries as if to examine them with extreme scrutiny before deciding. “This one and… this one!” She said while pointing. He faced the attendants, “Hi, I’d like the-“ He noticed that he was face to face with the three nuns he had met in the grocery store from before. He took note of the sign above the booth: “St. Francis’ Vestibule of Baked Goods” He cleared his throat nervously, “Sisters.” He said giving them a curt nod. “I’ll take this one…and this one…” He grabbed the two muffins and placed the tickets on the counter; the nuns only stared on. During this entire exchange, he wasn’t sure if any of them blinked and was met with awkward silence. “Uh…Thanks…and May God be praised…” He said doing a quick Sign of the Cross. His gesture went unnoticed as the nuns stared on in horror. He quickly looked at his left hand where Derpy was already unraveling the plastic that covered the muffin, well, more tearing into it than unraveling. He quickly turned and left. “Welp, now they think I’m some kind of demon… or a witch.” “Warlock in your case.” “Whatever, maybe if I’m lucky, they’ll try and exorcise me or burn me at the stake.” As Derpy ate, Don, on the other hand, began to do one of his personal past-times; people watch. He didn’t make assumptions to what people did or how they lived. No judgement, just watching humans in their natural habitat as they milled about in their lives. He normally reserved this activity for malls, parks, or large gatherings of people, but this was just one of those days where it was an opportune moment. His pseudo safari was interrupted when Derpy spoke again, “So, what do we want to do next?” She asked. “Huh? Oh, well, what do you-wait,” “Did you finish TWO whole muffins?!” - They continued on and surveyed the different booths, some which he assumed were like a rummage sale, and others where they sold food, and off to one side he saw people playing bingo for prizes. As they meandered about, they happened upon one game where they heard a familiar voice. “You call that a throw?! I’ve seen better throws in a game of t-ball!” The voice yelled. “HA! C’mon, buddy, the object of the game is to actually HIT the target!” Don however, instantly recognized the voice, “Lewis…” he muttered to himself. “Hey! Hey you!” Lewis called. No response. “YOU! With the stupid earpiece!” he called again. “Always with the earpiece….” Don muttered. Hee turned and faced Lewis and gave a small sigh and headed over. “You look like you’ve got good aim, why don’t you try your luck?” “You have no idea how much my luck gets tried….” He tried his best to bow-out, but Lewis only egged him on, “Come on, why not? Are you afraid to lose anymore of your dignity or something?” At this point, Derpy flew up to Don’s face, “You’ve gotta do it now, he’s calling you out!” There was a brief moment of deliberation before he finally gave in. “Alright fine,” he said and walked over to the attendant. As soon as he started walking his imagination was flooded with a textured and an extremely masculine visual of himself and Lewis in a showdown. “…What the hell was that?!” “…I have no idea, but what a cliffhanger.” “You need to stop.” Don stood there with a softball in his hand, judging the distance to the target. “Hopefully you’re better than most of the people here.” Lewis said from the cage. - “What a horrible day at the office for our star pitcher today. There was a lot of effort, but nothing could come to fruition in today’s game. Such a shame. There were certainly high hopes for this guy.” Four tries. Three throws each. None of them were able to land a successful hit on the bullseye. Don stood there slightly defeated, while Lewis on the other hand, was laughing at the unsuccessful attempts. “Oh man, I thought I had seen everything on bad throws, but that took the cake. I will admit though, getting the ball stuck in the glass like that was kind of cool.” Don began walking away while ignoring Lewis’ calls to try again. “Well, that wasn’t very nice of him.” Derpy said while looking back. “That’s just part of the game though. Egg you on to get you to make mistakes so-hey where are you- there she goes…” he said shaking his head. He watched the small Pegasus maneuver her way through the crowd before zeroing in on her target; the bulls-eye of the dunking booth. “There was an audible “ding” as the bulls-eye was hit and Lewis plummeted into the water. He resurfaced confused as to what just happened and began to question the booth’s integrity to the attendant. “Feel better?” He asked when she returned. “Yes.” - They walked around the grounds more, but there wasn’t much else until Derpy spotted another sign. “Hey what’ this?” she asked. “Huh? Oh that, it’s only Pony Rides…you know, let’s just skip-“ “Pony Rides?! You mean rides specifically for ponies?!” “Umm, not exactly…” he said trailing off. “You know what? How about we just forget about this-“ “I wanna know what a pony ride is!” He stood there weighing his options, before deciding to treat this like a band-aide and just rip it off and get the information out there in the open. “Okay, promise me you won’t flip out.” “Cross my heart, hope to fly, and stick a cupcake in my eye.” “Okay, well, ponies… or rather, horses from here aren’t like where you’re from. I feel like we’ve covered this before… anyways, and human beings used to use them for transportation and hauling things a long time ago.” He said reluctantly. “And?” “…And that’s it. We used horses for riding around. Not so much anymore, but once in a while, people get that opportunity.” “You forgot about combat.” “You need to forget combat.” “Oh, is that all?” There was a moment of shocked silence. “You mean you’re okay with that?” “Yes, most earth ponies are used to that sort of work back home in Equestria. I’ve also seen Twilight’s assistant Spike ride on her back all the time. To be honest, that sort of thing looks like fun.” He let out a sigh of relief. “For a second there, I thought you were gonna fly off the handle and throw things at me again.” “No, of course not. If you mistreated them though, that would have been a different story.” “Noted.” - They reached a large open area and noticed a line of horses. “Wow, those are some big ponies…” Derpy said. As they got closer she flew up to one of them “Hi, What’s your name?” “I told you, they’re not like from where you are, in fact, I don’t think they have cognitive…” “Her name is Sweetums, and I can hear her just fine.” “I…what?” “Also, she says that thing in your ear makes you looks stupid.” “Donovan Lacson, you just insulted by a horse which you thought had no cognitive abilities. How does that make you feel?” “It…it feels terrible Bob. Nature wont even let me have a break.” His inner conversation was interrupted by an unfamiliar voice, “Hey there, do you wanna ride?” Don looked up and his gaze was met by the handlers. “Umm, no, I don’t have anymore tickets or anything. I was just coming out here to look at the horses.” “I see, well, everyone should ride a horse at least once. Have you ridden a horse before son?” Don shook his head, “No, I haven’t.” “Tell you what, the ride is on me. As I said before, everyone should try it at least once, plus, I can tell you have a small bond with Sweetums here.” “Yeah. Small bond. Sure, lets go with that.” Don said flatly. - After some explanation, and with some effort, he had finally got himself saddled up on the horse. “You comfortable up there?” the handler asked. “It’s um, kind of high, but yeah, I think I’m okay.” After a brief moment Don spoke up again, “I feel a little big for the horse, is that okay?” The handler smiled, “Nah, you’re not. She’s a lot more sturdy than you think she is.” Derpy flew up to Don, “It’s true, she says that you’re lighter than some people she’s had to carry before. Not that she had a hard time with them either.” “Thanks? I think?” Before long, Sweetums started moving and was moving at a good pace. It was a little unnerving at first, but after a while, it really was kind of liberating. There was a certain freedom he felt that a car couldn’t exactly replicate. He looked down and noticed Derpy was in conversation with Sweetums. He wondered what in the world they could converse about but he quickly abandoned the thought and went back to enjoying the ride. Even though the ride was the circumference of the entire open area, it was short-lived and before he realized the ride was over. After dismounting the handler spoke up, “So, what do you think?” “Pretty fun, that was quite the experience.” “Glad to hear it. Don’t forget to thank your ride too.” Don looked at Sweetums and gave her a light pat on the head, “Thanks, Sweetums.” The horse let out a grunt. “She says ‘You’re welcome’.” - “Well, did you have fun today?” Don asked. “I did, your festivals are really fun.” “I’m glad you enjoyed it but did you really have to buy more muffins?” In the backseat there was a small pile of wrapped baked goods. “Yes, and I would’ve got more if you hadn’t run out of money. You need to carry more of that stuff on you.” “Okay, no. The last time you had more than enough muffins, I ended up with you hurling in my pocket.” “That was then, this is now.” “I don’t think you can even finish that many muffins.” She landed on his steering wheel and gave him a serious look. “Is that a challenge?” “…No. No, it’s not.” “So, how come Pony Rides are so rare for humans now?” He thought for a moment, it wasn’t exactly a hard question, but then again, it wasn’t simple either. “Well, I guess it’s kind of seen as obsolete now, now that humans have cars and other technology to get them around faster than a horse can. No offense.” “None taken.” “Also, it’s like with all this technology we have, we’ve kind of… disconnected with nature and we forget that it exists in a weird sort of way.” She nodded mulling over his answer. “I can kind of see how that would be the case.” Don nodded “Because seriously, you look really dumb with…” “Don’t you EVEN start with me on that again…”